Monogamous or Polyamorous

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justplainshane
justplainshane Posts: 37 Member
in Chit-Chat
If you had to choose, which would be your preference and why? Interested to see others views on this.
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  • jbs116
    jbs116 Posts: 746 Member
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    Please secure your tray tables and buckle your seat belts. We are cleared for takeoff
  • itchmyTwitch
    itchmyTwitch Posts: 3,819 Member
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    honesty within the agreed upon terms of your particular relationship/s
  • crazyhorse8
    crazyhorse8 Posts: 619 Member
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    itchmyTwitch wrote: »
    honesty within the agreed upon terms of your particular relationship/s

    Total honesty has to be or it doesn't work IMO.
  • Yourmomsproblem
    Yourmomsproblem Posts: 79 Member
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    I'm a whole female. I'm crazy jealous BUT as I've gotten older I've realized that I really don't have the capacity to talk about feelings and emotions or to argue with someone about the same thing everyday because I'm to real and I always got something smart to say. So if I could pass that part on to someone else, maybe. Lol but Apparently, I have an avoidant attachment style. Idk I'm in therapy. I'm figuring it out. I got a cat and I work out. Maybe I'll get my life together one day.
  • justplainshane
    justplainshane Posts: 37 Member
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    crazyhorse8 wrote: »
    itchmyTwitch wrote: »
    honesty within the agreed upon terms of your particular relationship/s

    Total honesty has to be or it doesn't work IMO.

    Absolutely agree
  • justplainshane
    justplainshane Posts: 37 Member
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    Yourmomsproblem wrote: »
    I'm a whole female. I'm crazy jealous BUT as I've gotten older I've realized that I really don't have the capacity to talk about feelings and emotions or to argue with someone about the same thing everyday because I'm to real and I always got something smart to say. So if I could pass that part on to someone else, maybe. Lol but Apparently, I have an avoidant attachment style. Idk I'm in therapy. I'm figuring it out. I got a cat and I work out. Maybe I'll get my life together one day.

    If only we could pass on the *kitten* and keep what we wanted. I'm sure you will get your life together.
  • Corina1143
    Corina1143 Posts: 2,923 Member
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    I say mono. My x said poly. Therefore he is my x.
  • justplainshane
    justplainshane Posts: 37 Member
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    Corina1143 wrote: »
    I say mono. My x said poly. Therefore he is my x.

    Makes sense. If you are both not on the same page then it will never work.
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,626 Member
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    Making deep connections with more than one person to sustain relationships seems exhausting
  • justplainshane
    justplainshane Posts: 37 Member
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    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »
    Making deep connections with more than one person to sustain relationships seems exhausting

    You never know, it may be easier than you think.
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,626 Member
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    justplainshane wrote: »
    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »
    Making deep connections with more than one person to sustain relationships seems exhausting

    You never know, it may be easier than you think.

    Do you speak from experience or fantasy?
  • justplainshane
    justplainshane Posts: 37 Member
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    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »
    justplainshane wrote: »
    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »
    Making deep connections with more than one person to sustain relationships seems exhausting

    You never know, it may be easier than you think.

    Do you speak from experience or fantasy?

    A gentleman never tells his secrets. 🍍
  • PlentyofProtein00
    PlentyofProtein00 Posts: 3,626 Member
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    justplainshane wrote: »
    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »
    justplainshane wrote: »
    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »
    Making deep connections with more than one person to sustain relationships seems exhausting

    You never know, it may be easier than you think.

    Do you speak from experience or fantasy?

    A gentleman never tells his secrets. 🍍

    Not asking for secrets to be spilled. But you asked a question...and the obvious answer to me is who wouldn't enjoy validation and confirmation from several partners. However, realistically there has to be reciprocation and on a constant regular basis. And that seems like too time consuming. Not to mention realistically how fulfilling is it, when then those 2 or 3 people are then also invested in 2 or 3 more people....and so on...and then that feels less validating.
  • justplainshane
    justplainshane Posts: 37 Member
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    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »
    justplainshane wrote: »
    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »
    justplainshane wrote: »
    PlentyofProtein00 wrote: »
    Making deep connections with more than one person to sustain relationships seems exhausting

    You never know, it may be easier than you think.

    Do you speak from experience or fantasy?

    A gentleman never tells his secrets. 🍍

    Not asking for secrets to be spilled. But you asked a question...and the obvious answer to me is who wouldn't enjoy validation and confirmation from several partners. However, realistically there has to be reciprocation and on a constant regular basis. And that seems like too time consuming. Not to mention realistically how fulfilling is it, when then those 2 or 3 people are then also invested in 2 or 3 more people....and so on...and then that feels less validating.

    You do have a good point around investing in too many and the ripple effect of that. I think, if there are boundaries and limits to the numbers and agreement upfront on how the relationship(s) play out and those are not broken then I think, imo, it could be quite rewarding.
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,845 Member
    edited December 2023
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    I suspect my wife has relationships with other people. I’ve learned to just accept it because I know it’s me she loves most. 🥰
  • BriansTrident
    BriansTrident Posts: 443 Member
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    I don’t see the point of a poly. Either just date around or be FWB. Why invest your time and energy into a poly relationship when someone is just gonna have another relationship with someone else and eventually move on.

    I put all my energy, time and love into 1 person and only want that 1 persons attention back, no other woman exists to me in any romantic/sexual way. It’s how I’m wired.
  • Merkavar
    Merkavar Posts: 3,082 Member
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    I would imagine it would be impossible to have an equal poly relationship

    Like you would end up spending time with say one person more over the other. So the 3rd person gets the scraps? the left overs? is the 3rd wheel?

    doesnt seem fair to them
  • meganlea33
    meganlea33 Posts: 40 Member
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    I think it depends on the person or persons involved and their goals. I 100% believe you can be in love with more than person at the same time and if everyone is on board it can be magical.
  • itchmyTwitch
    itchmyTwitch Posts: 3,819 Member
    edited January 1
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    Merkavar wrote: »
    I would imagine it would be impossible to have an equal poly relationship

    Like you would end up spending time with say one person more over the other. So the 3rd person gets the scraps? the left overs? is the 3rd wheel?

    doesnt seem fair to them

    What I was trying to say, is that not everybody wants the same thing. Not everybody wants to be a primary in a relationship. I don’t think the goal is to make everything absolutely completely even. Unless that’s what you all want.

    As for me, I think people are overrated in general

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