How to deal with gym anxiety?

RytaChan · February 8

Hey there! I just wanted to share with you that I recently took a leap and joined a gym membership. However, I have to admit that it was more out of my intrusive thoughts at 3am rather than a well thought-out decision. The thing is, I struggle with social anxiety and going to the gym makes me feel embarrassed and insecure. I was wondering if you have any tips on how to deal with it? I really want to enjoy my gym experience without feeling overwhelmed.

AnnPT77 · February 8

Does the gym offer an orientation or a free training session as part of your membership fee? That can be a place to start.

Another thing to consider would be getting dressed up in your workout clothes at the time you'd usually go to the gym, going there, and then just looking around the facility. Notice what the options are, and pick out one thing you think you could do. You can do that thing then, or just file it in your head for your next visit and just look around on the first visit. The biggest hurdle is just to go, and the next biggest is to start doing something. Make easy baby-step goals.

You'll find that most of the machines have instructions on them. Read the instructions and follow them. When you do that first manageable-looking thing, you can glance around (politely, of course) and see what others are doing. You'll probably see some other things that look manageable. Add one of those next time. Stick with it. You'll build up a routine. It'll be good.

It may feel like everyone is looking at you, but I promise they're mostly not. They're busy thinking everyone is looking at them, or they're focused on their workout. Only major-league jerks are judging others, and who cares what jerks think? Jeez, they actually have a character so poor that they lose focus on their own workout to judge others. We should feel sorry for them, because that's a pretty pathetic way to be, honestly. Most nice people, if they give us a thought at all, remember when they were new to the gym and feel supportive of new people.

One of the things I did early on was take adult swim lessons in my late 40s/early 50s. My swimming was objectively ridiculous at the start (I needed those lessons!). I was an obese middle aged woman in a bathing suit. On top of that, I'd had bilateral mastectomies without reconstruction, so I was totally flat up top, maybe even a little concave - very obvious in a swimsuit. I thought people would start at me like some kind of spectacle. It was a total non-event. No one paid any attention. There were other fat people there. There were other newbies there. All my fantasies about how it would be were wrong. But I needed to go there in order to find that out.

You can do this. It will be a growth experience, and like all growth experiences, there will be uncomfortable feelings sometimes, and maybe even the occasional (unusual) negative experience. You can handle it, and you will get stronger and more confident when you do. In the long run, you'll be one of those people who looks like they know what they're doing, and the newbies will wonder if you're judging them. You'll remember your first time, and be kind, I'm betting.

Best wishes!

tulips_and_tea · February 8

As always, stellar advice from Ann! Definitely go and get familiar with the place first. Learn how to properly use the machines.

Have a plan, but be flexible, too. Figure out your workout, but if someone is using a certain machine when you need it, just do something else. But, GO, give it some time to become a habit and you'll probably start to look forward to it, particularly once you start making progress.

nossmf · February 8

The first time I stepped into the weights section of my gym, I simply knew I didn't belong. Had a total blast there, wanted to return, but knew a weakling like me had no business lifting weights.

So the next time I went, I wore sunglasses. Anytime I saw myself in the mirror, it wasn't me I saw, but Joe Cool. Joe Cool of course belongs there, everybody is glad Joe Cool is there. After about a month I felt comfortable enough to walk around without my sunglasses. This was 15 years ago, and I've been lifting ever since.

Corny as all get out, a psychologist may have a whole lot to say about it, but it got me through.

emmamcgarity · February 9

I started by using the treadmill at the gym occasionally and had my adult daughter go with me. She helped me tour the place while I was there the first time because she knew I was nervous to explore on my own.

But I was still anxious about the locker room. I really wanted to take the aquafit class but I was worried I wouldn’t remember my lock combination. Then a friend of mine suggested a programmable lock. So I finally worked up the courage (after 6 months paying dues) to go to the aquafit class. It was great.

I knew I wanted to lift weights but I didn’t know where to start. So I watched beginner videos on YouTube for machines. Then the next time I went to aquafit I went early to see if I could find one or two machines from the videos I watched. I watched the video again while at the gym explained how to adjust the machine and use it. Then I did that one machine on the lowest weight just to test how it worked. I logged my activity in the Strong App so I would remember it next time. Each time I went my goal was to find one or two other machines from the video and test them. Eventually I became more comfortable with the machines. And though I felt a bit self conscious, no one looked at me like I was crazy.

DoubleG2 · February 9

To echo others - the vast majority of gym goers are dialed into their own workout. I'm at the gym every day so I see the ebb and flow of people new to working out. Most I don't give a second thought to, but some appear so earnest, I secretly root for their success and hope they become regulars. You'd never know it though, with my ball cap low on my forehead and earbuds in getting my work done. I'm rooting for you new gym goer! And I may look a little gruff, but I'm happy to spot you, or show you how to perform a lift, or answer a question. I am happy you're there.

springlering62 · February 9

I had an unusual experience. While still overweight but having already lost 60, I mentioned to a neighbor who lifted that I needed to build upper body strength to reach some yoga goals.

He suggested I contact a lady regarding training. It turned out she owned an Olympic style competitive gym, old school- lotsa chains and plates and mats and wooden blocks, with well loved but superlatively well maintained equipment, housed in a basic concrete block building. I remember it was bouncing off the foundations with loud music the day I showed up.

I was not only out of place, I was an alien. I was terrified to even walk in the door without her moral support.

You know what? These guys, if they thought about me at all, were the absolute best, politest, and most helpful. If they thought I needed help, they offered it without being asked. They’d leave what they were doing to come spot me- without being asked. They’d cheer me on when demanded (my trainer owned huge lungs in a tee-tiny little body). I walked to the gym, as well as all over town, and all the guys would honk wave and give me thumbs up.

I had such a great time in that alien, foreign place and it became comfortable and homey. But she wanted to retire, and the older lifter she had running it when she wasn’t there flat out gave me the heebie jeebies.

By this time my husband was a member of a gym at a local hospital and was encouraging me to go there so we could do classes or ride together. I was ready to change.

Same experience, though totally different clientele. People are so immersed in their own workouts they either totally ignore you, or if they don’t, it’s because they’re like “hmmmm…..I like that particular move and I think I’ll try it myself.”

I get it. Fear is a hard hump to get over. But it’s all in your head. I guess I looked at it as, well they’re already judging me for being fat, what else can they pick to judge me for? If I’m weak or slow, pfffffft. Those can be fixed. The people who matter will respect you for it. The rest are dumbasses and not worthy of my time to worry over.

I didn’t do the sunglasses route (love that!!!) I just tried to go in with an attitude of “I may not be able to do this now, but you just watch me, or I’ll go down trying.”

mtaratoot · February 9

You make good decisions at 03:00 it seems!

I was very self-conscious when I first started going to the gym as an adult. I had gone to a gym some in my teens when in high school, but it never really "clicked." I'm sure it did me some good. A couple friends and I were all there together. I just stopped. It wasn't my thing.

Fast forward to my 40s. My career no longer included rigorous field work. I was using my bike to commute, but it wasn't a long commute. I wanted something structured to keep me fit in my off-season from paddling. A local gym offered a ridiculous discount for new members, and I couldn't pass it up. If I only went for a few months, I'd break even and could just skip the rest of the 24-month membership. I eventually got comfortable being there, or at least it became a habit.

That gym closed when the landlord kept raising the rent. Another gym bought some of their equipment and honored all current memberships. It's much farther away, but I'm still going after quite a few years. I've been there so long that when I checked in the other day, someone else said, "Oh, I wish I had such a short easy-to-remember membership number."

You know what? I'm still a little self-conscious, but I also have recognized that everyone is there for the same reason. I continue to grow in my knowledge and fitness. I'm rarely ever "motivated" to go, but it's a habit. I almost always feel good when I'm done. I get to try a variety of different things, and it's good for me. It is good to face challenges, even if it's a challenge to do something socially uncomfortable. Every time you exceed your expectations, it gives you the knowledge that there's MORE that you can do that you didn't realize.

Will it be easy to get past your anxiety? Almost certainly not. Go anyway. Make it a routine. Feel better, and celebrate the results. Maybe at some point you'll notice someone else here on MFP who seems self conscious about starting a new fitness journey, and you can share your story of success.

How to deal with gym anxiety?

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