I really need support/advice

CharlieICURN · February 14

Hi so I’m really struggling and frustrated and don’t want to get off track because I’m demoralized here.

In 2018 I had a total hysterectomy with my ovaries out putting me into surgical menopause (very different from natural menopause- like hormones completely gone instead of low and it’s an abrupt change versus gradual). I was 32 years old. I ended up losing almost 80lbs through eating right and exercise- I was miserable before my hysterectomy and not active at all and became super active after and felt healthy for the first time ever. I was taking oral HRT as well and felt overall balanced.
Over the past two years I have hit a wall- my hormones have dropped significantly and I cannot seem to get them balanced. I’m seeing a specialist for bioidentical hormone replacement and get weekly injections.

The weight gain is killing me. Like I’m devastated. I started eating crappy and had to switch jobs to a desk job from one where I was previously active and the weight has piled on. I have gained back 40+ lbs- most of which occurred fairly rapidly within a two month time span.

January I started logging my food again, weighing my food and vigilantly measuring everything (I did lose a lot of weight before and am savvy with the process). I started walking again and went from a 3k steps per day average to 11k- every single day since January 1.
I go to the gym and strength train 3 times a week. I’ve upped my water intake (I don’t drink anything but water and hot tea in the morning), have not eaten out at all since January 1, have focused on prioritizing protein and fiber as well as deprocessing my diet.
I’ve prioritized good sleep hygiene as well.
On January 1 I weighed 200.2 lbs. I am currently fluctuating between 198-200 lbs. I don’t know what to do and why I am not losing at all in six weeks. Like it is extremely demoralizing and demotivating and I am becoming EXTREMELY depressed. I look in the mirror and have taken pictures and I don’t look different so I don’t think it’s the old “building muscle” thing.
I do think water retention may be playing a role to some extent but I’m completely at a loss. I don’t want to throw the towel in because I need to feel healthier but the lack of progress is becoming extremely painful and causing significant emotional distress.
I have my hormones checked every 3 months- my thyroid is fine but my estrogen and progesterone are not balanced and my doctor has been adjusting my dosages. Both levels are low, however progesterone was like nil. So we’ve been adjusting the dose of my injections to try and balance them but at some point I imagine the healthy changes I’ve made should do SOMETHING. It’s so frustrating hearing “calorie in/calorie out” because I am meticulously tracking and by all accounts I should be down by at least 6-8lbs by now.
I’m looking for some support/advice. I’d love to hear any possible suggestions.

Adventurista · February 14

Hi, sorry about the struggle. Is your appetite whack?

I ask because i can find myself nibbling extras here, there, and the extra bites add up... an extra 100 cals over maintenance every day is something like 10 lbs, and i can get that in extra squirts of dressing on my salads or large extra pinches of shredded cheese. So maybe check weights/measures and tracking for a few weeks.

And particularly if my appetite is roaring, then a bit more of lower cal/bigger pile foods help, like popcorn or broth veggie soups...

Hang in!

Corina1143 · February 14

I sympathize and empathize, I'm so sorry I don't have any advice.
I went through normal menopause at the normal time, then had a hysterectomy at 72. The hormone storm was awful!
I wish you the best!

CharlieICURN · February 14

EpochAhead wrote: »

Hi, sorry about the struggle. Is your appetite whack?

I ask because i can find myself nibbling extras here, there, and the extra bites add up... an extra 100 cals over maintenance every day is something like 10 lbs, and i can get that in extra squirts of dressing on my salads or large extra pinches of shredded cheese. So maybe check weights/measures and tracking for a few weeks.

And particularly if my appetite is roaring, then a bit more of lower cal/bigger pile foods help, like popcorn or broth veggie soups...

Hang in!

I log everything. Every nibble, taste, etc.
Prior to starting logging I was grazing a lot and snacking and such but have not done that since I restarted my weight loss efforts January 1. I weigh and measure everything and account for everything to make sure I’m not doing that. This is why I’m getting so unbelievably frustrated because I feel like I’m doing everything right and not seeing any changes at all. I keep telling myself it’s for the long game and to keep going but I’m at a loss. I’ve adjusted my caloric intake thinking maybe I needed less calories than I thought and still no results.

Lietchi · February 14

Some things jump out at me:
- you're obviously emotionally distressed at the lack of progress: is it because you feel you are making huge efforts? That, to me, sounds like your approach isn't sustainable because it is unpleasant. How many calories are you consuming per day? Are you feeling deprived in the quantities and/or types of food you consume? Or other unpleasant aspects of the changes you've implemented?
- stress increases cortisol, which can also cause water retention (emotional stress, but also stress of not eating enough - I don't know if this is a possible issue for you)
- is the strength training new? If so, definitely the possibility of water retention. Also: that's a fairly steep increase of steps per day, even that can cause water retention, I've been in that situation myself.
- it's only been six weeks and you mention having adjusted calorie intake within that period without results: you need to take a step back and give your body more time before determining results and making changes. Ideally 6 to 8 weeks before evaluating - and with new/increased exercise it can take a bit more time
- take body measurements to complement weigh-ins
- use a weight trending app like Libra or Happyscale to help you see the trend through your weight fluctuations

CharlieICURN · February 15

Lietchi wrote: »

Some things jump out at me:
- you're obviously emotionally distressed at the lack of progress: is it because you feel you are making huge efforts? That, to me, sounds like your approach isn't sustainable because it is unpleasant. How many calories are you consuming per day? Are you feeling deprived in the quantities and/or types of food you consume? Or other unpleasant aspects of the changes you've implemented?
- stress increases cortisol, which can also cause water retention (emotional stress, but also stress of not eating enough - I don't know if this is a possible issue for you)
- is the strength training new? If so, definitely the possibility of water retention. Also: that's a fairly steep increase of steps per day, even that can cause water retention, I've been in that situation myself.
- it's only been six weeks and you mention having adjusted calorie intake within that period without results: you need to take a step back and give your body more time before determining results and making changes. Ideally 6 to 8 weeks before evaluating - and with new/increased exercise it can take a bit more time
- take body measurements to complement weigh-ins
- use a weight trending app like Libra or Happyscale to help you see the trend through your weight fluctuations

I enjoy walking- I used to walk 6-10 miles every day but ended up breaking my neck and requiring spinal surgery in 2022. For 2022 and 2023 I was lucky if id get a walk around the block. I went from being super active to very sedentary and I’m trying to get back to how I used to be.
Walking every day was a habit I enjoyed for years and I feel back in my rhythm with it- I look forward to it every day and know it’s sustainable.
The strength training is a similar situation- did it consistently for years before my injury. Finally started (I did intense rehab but it wasn’t like real strength training like before).

I’m distressed by this because I maintained a 70-80 lb weight loss for years and now it’s coming back and after 7 weeks of consistency not seeing ANY changes in weight is distressing. I do feel like water retention is an issue but I feel like my hormones being out of whack are completely screwing up my progress.

I was eating about 1700-1800 with no results for 5 weeks so I bumped down to about 1500 and increased my protein intake so I actually am not hungry or ravenous, I feel satiated. I do use an app to track my weight and it’s mostly steady between 198-200. For a few days it dropped to 194 but then right back up. I’m watching my sodium and fluid intake and trying to determine patterns. I think my hormones are wacky which is causing significant water retention but I don’t know how to get rid of it.
I think it’s normal to feel demoralized when you aren’t seeing the results of something you’re working for

frhaberl · February 15

It absolutely is demoralizing to not see results when you have made such drastic changes and know that you SHOULD be seeing progress. Those feelings are absolutely justified.

The question I have asked myself when I’ve been in a similar position is “if I weren’t focused on losing weight, what would I change?” My goal has been to be able to say “nothing” and use that knowledge to stay the course. And I can tell you that, time and again, the weight loss followed without any changes. The only changes I made were those that made me feel like I could wait longer to see results, like eliminating a food I didn’t really enjoy but felt I “should” be eating. Or shifting to a different exercise that I enjoyed more.

I may be wrong but I think a helpful question to ask yourself is “What would need to change for me to feel better about continuing this lifestyle for the rest of my life?” Are there other measures of success that would help you feel okay about giving these lifestyle changes some time to impact your weight? I know it helped me to see improvements in my cardiovascular fitness (something my smart watch measures and tracks) and in my improved bloodwork.

I know that 7 weeks is a long time to wait for results, so waiting longer without doing anything different may feel unwise. It will probably sound overly optimistic, but I think that you will start to see results in the next few weeks if you stay the course. That drop down to 194 is a preview of where your body is headed as your water retention levels off. My suggestion is to give it another month and keep coming back here for reassurance that you are doing the right things (you are) and will see the results. If your weight hasn’t started dropping (on average) in that time, then you’ll have a lot more data to use to decide what changes you can make in a sustainable way.

Hang in there. I know it’s never as easy to wait as it is to tell someone else they should wait. Hopefully an outsider’s opinion that you are an inspiration in making the changes you have and recovering the lifestyle you loved will help.

Lietchi · February 15

I would also recommend continuing as is for a few more weeks. Like I said, water retention from the strength training and walking could be a culprit as well as the obvious hormonal issues (take body measurements). I would give it 4 more weeks, personally.

Adventurista · February 15

Just wanted to stop by again, have read all, and yowser, you've had a time of it.... (hugs)

Sounds like you are aware of your history, have ruled out some things, found others to keep, and that really is the on-going process... perpetual adjustments and living life.

So 2 more thoughts come to mind, keep going... Kudos to you for reaching out instead of giving up... Can totally see why you're feeling discouraged, so extra tlc self-care and good rest can help.

2nd, i get too attached emotionally and i needed to put away the scales until i could be less emotional about it, and instead weighed in at docs and gym instead. I also quit tying cals to exercise - meaning, bargaining with myself to go exercise for more desserts... and started to focus on next step goals, range of motion, duration, intensity, moving up a lb in handweights, then celebrating those milestones in non-food ways...

Both things helped lift my spirits, and I hope you will see progress and feel better soonest!

CharlieICURN · February 16

frhaberl wrote: »

It absolutely is demoralizing to not see results when you have made such drastic changes and know that you SHOULD be seeing progress. Those feelings are absolutely justified.

The question I have asked myself when I’ve been in a similar position is “if I weren’t focused on losing weight, what would I change?” My goal has been to be able to say “nothing” and use that knowledge to stay the course. And I can tell you that, time and again, the weight loss followed without any changes. The only changes I made were those that made me feel like I could wait longer to see results, like eliminating a food I didn’t really enjoy but felt I “should” be eating. Or shifting to a different exercise that I enjoyed more.

I may be wrong but I think a helpful question to ask yourself is “What would need to change for me to feel better about continuing this lifestyle for the rest of my life?” Are there other measures of success that would help you feel okay about giving these lifestyle changes some time to impact your weight? I know it helped me to see improvements in my cardiovascular fitness (something my smart watch measures and tracks) and in my improved bloodwork.

I know that 7 weeks is a long time to wait for results, so waiting longer without doing anything different may feel unwise. It will probably sound overly optimistic, but I think that you will start to see results in the next few weeks if you stay the course. That drop down to 194 is a preview of where your body is headed as your water retention levels off. My suggestion is to give it another month and keep coming back here for reassurance that you are doing the right things (you are) and will see the results. If your weight hasn’t started dropping (on average) in that time, then you’ll have a lot more data to use to decide what changes you can make in a sustainable way.

Hang in there. I know it’s never as easy to wait as it is to tell someone else they should wait. Hopefully an outsider’s opinion that you are an inspiration in making the changes you have and recovering the lifestyle you loved will help.

This response is exactly why I posted here. I’ve been feeling so crappy about this and I don’t want to give up because I feel good with exercising more and all but in my dysfunctional mind I was ready to say to hell with it and binge on peanut butter. This made me step back from that ledge. Thank you.

mkculs13 · February 17

frhaberl wrote: »

It absolutely is demoralizing to not see results when you have made such drastic changes and know that you SHOULD be seeing progress. Those feelings are absolutely justified.

The question I have asked myself when I’ve been in a similar position is “if I weren’t focused on losing weight, what would I change?” My goal has been to be able to say “nothing” and use that knowledge to stay the course. And I can tell you that, time and again, the weight loss followed without any changes. The only changes I made were those that made me feel like I could wait longer to see results, like eliminating a food I didn’t really enjoy but felt I “should” be eating. Or shifting to a different exercise that I enjoyed more.

Wow. You are very insightful. I'm going to ask myself that question today and figure out how to make the answer happen. And I hope I'll ask myself every time the effort feels disproportionate to the results.

THANK YOU!!1

I really need support/advice

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