Too much

rhnlov
rhnlov Posts: 21 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Ok so I’ve come along way on my weight loss journey. I went from 230 to now 138 . I’m 5’7 but my husband thinks I’ve went too small . What do you guys think ?hf9fdgc7i6p3.jpeg
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Replies

  • sollyn23l2
    sollyn23l2 Posts: 1,791 Member
    You look great. Don't think you would need to lose more, but you look healthy. Sometimes people just aren't used to seeing us at a smaller size.
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 14,326 Member
    edited March 13
    It takes a while for all of our eyes to adjust. Ann's solution is a pretty good one.
  • rhnlov
    rhnlov Posts: 21 Member
    Thanks everyone. Yes I do see a doctor and a dietitian and they both said I’m healthy did bloodwork and everything. I guess it is he is just use to the old me
  • tomcustombuilder
    tomcustombuilder Posts: 2,248 Member
    That’s a good middle of the road weight. It all depends on how you feel at that weight.
  • VegjoyP
    VegjoyP Posts: 2,773 Member
    edited March 13
    YOU LOOK AWESOME! Ihave seen this a lot with spouses as well as friends, neighbors, family. They aren't used to you. Sometimes people can be subliminally envious or assuming or some other mental( not usually intentional) reason. I have women friends who's husband's have done and reacted the same. I think it's a comfort thing. The male instinct is often tied to the " birthing" and semi primitive mental and physiological reaction of " hips, rear= mothering, etc"
    It matters most what you feel. It matters that you are healthy and happy. Things will fall into place and just be happy with you. Maybe reassure to your hubbie your love for him and how good you feel.
  • John772016
    John772016 Posts: 135 Member
    Change is hard for many folks to accept.

    A year after I had lost weight, a close family member told me they were concerned about how much more weight I had lost in the last year after I had hit my goal. I hadn't actually lost anything. I had actually gained slightly as I had added some muscle on.
    It takes awhile for folk's perception of us to match up with reality.

    As others have already said, what matters is what you think, not us. If it really matters, I think you look healthy.

    When one partner makes massive improvements to themselves, the other can often feel insecure. Not sure if that's the case, but it happens a lot.
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,337 Member
    I know that when I first lost weight people were saying I had lost too much when by BMI I was still at the low end of obese. I have seen that with others as well. However, after their and my weight stabilized and was that way for a while, their opinions changed. I figured it was having to get used to the new and quite different look that lots of weight loss brings that lay behind it. I would say give it some time.
  • BrightEyedAgain
    BrightEyedAgain Posts: 259 Member
    edited March 13
    I agree with what the others said about people needing time to get used to the new you. I would also add that you may temporarily look a bit gaunt in certain spots while your skin tightens up. (I can't tell from the photo, but you husband will obviously see you IRL)

    One of my friends secretly thought I'd gotten too thin initially because my "skin hung on me." She only mentioned it because she later lost weight herself and saw that the skin thing was temporary. So maybe that's what your husband is noticing. If so, you can let him know that's not a sign that you're too thin, just a temporary side effect.

    There could also be some insecurity happening if he's not confident that you still find HIM attractive. I had one friend whose husband was worried that she wouldn't want him anymore and might leave him. Once she reassured him, he became her biggest supporter. We all have our share of weird insecurities, so maybe he just needs some reassurance. Couldn't hurt.

    Anyway, congratulations, and I think you look great!
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    You look fine to me . . . but it's not my call. It's yours. Not anyone else's.

    I agree with Sollyn: People around us sometimes have difficulty adjusting. In any of the cases of that I've experienced personally, people got used to the new me after a while and stopped commenting about it. I'm a widow, though, so no husband adjustment - just to be honest.

    Do you see a doctor now and then who knows you? If so, get an opinion from him/her about whether this is a healthy weight for you. (I'm betting you'd get "yes it is".) That was one thing I used to reassure (or at least silence ;) ) people who thought I had lost too much weight: "I've discussed it with my doctor, and he agrees that this is a healthy weight for me."

    Congratulations on your success!

    I recently recommended a coworker say this to people who make unwanted remarks about his weight loss. (I had just heard a remark along the lines of "You're too skinny!" and imagined it annoyed him. I've only seen him at his current weight, which looked fine, but apparently he used to be @ 100 pounds heavier.

    He thought that was a great idea.

    For the OP, yes, do discuss with your doctor and report back to your husband.
  • Twiggy2846
    Twiggy2846 Posts: 2 Member
    You look great! How long did it take you to get where you are now? Hubby may just be insecure, just tell him you’ll probably live longer.
  • cfriedman44
    cfriedman44 Posts: 14 Member
    Congratulations. When we have lost a lot of weight after being overweight
    for so long, your hubby and some of your friends will think you have lost too much. You and your doctor know about your success and if you lost too much. You look amazing good job 👍
  • xbowhunter
    xbowhunter Posts: 1,309 Member
    Jealousy makes people say stupid things. I have a coworker who put on alot of weight the past few years tells me I'm too skinny every time she sees me. It's really annoying. My comment back to her now if I'm too skinny then what are you? LOL

  • rhnlov
    rhnlov Posts: 21 Member
    Yea I try and make him feel secure . It took me about a year to lose the weight I had gained. I tried getting him to do it with me as he has diabetes and would benefit. He has lost some but not the results I got

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