WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2024

Machka9 wrote: »

cityjaneLondon wrote: »

Machka - I don't know how to answer your question. I would say, on the evidence of your sharing on here, that you feel most connected to Rhody, and your garden. You feel connected to your husband when you are cycling, or organising rallies. I may be completely wrong! The beach? The sea?

Sometimes I describe it as, "In the right place, at the right time, doing the right thng."

I really value my connection to my friends these days. Just a few of them. A meeting of minds. Unconditional regard.

Love you all. Heather UK xxxxxxxx

I feel generally disconnected.

Rhody is more my husband's cat than mine ... they spend a lot more time together. Rhody is my husband's "emotional support cat" and a little personality my husband can take care of when he's home alone and I'm working. My husband does all the cat care stuff like feeding him, cleaning his litter box, walking him during the day and spending time with him. Of course, I love Rhody ... I love cats! And he's such a cute, clever purry little boy.

My garden gives me a project to work on outside and away from the computer! It relaxes my eyes and also gives me exercise outside.
The beach, likewise, eases my eye strain and gives me a place to exercise outside and away from the computer. It also relaxes me. Green and blue outdoor spaces positively impact mental health and well-being.
I'm not sure either is a connection.

The project aspect of the garden and taking courses and organising cycling events and colouring and other things I do are "instant gratification" types of things, even though sometimes they take a while to complete so they aren't entirely "instant". But lots of things in life don't provide any gratification (like being a carer and sometimes work), so it's nice to do some things that do. They give me a sense of accomplishment.

It's possible my husband and I had a connection at one time ... I think we still do to some extent, but not the depth we once had. With him, I mainly feel a deep ambiguous loss/grief over losing what connection we had (https://health.clevelandclinic.org/ambiguous-loss-and-grief) "“psychological absence with physical presence.” Your loved one is physically present, but they’ve changed, whether emotionally or cognitively (or both)". I love him, but it can be difficult to connect. And when do I feel most connected to him? Probably when we are quietly sitting at home in the evening watching TV or listening to music and each doing our own thing. That's probably the most "normal" part of our day.

I am connected to my God, and He is the only one to whom I can truly pour out my heart.




Machka in Oz

I feel very disconnected to my dh too.
Mine isn't from an accident but because of his choices to push me away.
I try and remember what it was that did bring us together so many years ago.

Walking the wetlands I feel connected to- a place of peace and beauty where I can really think/pray/etc.

Zumba I feel connected to my classmates because we are doing something we all enjoy together.

Gardening has always been very special to me- had my own little part of the garden even as a kid(a corner of a raised bed that I got to plant what ever I wanted) along with our acre of garden. I have always HAD to have a garden.

Church makes me feel connected and a place of peace.

Cooking is my happy place. I enjoy doing it and when I cook, I don't eat. Keeps me busy.
Today I am very busy cooking- food for the potluck at church and food for dinner here at home tomorrow evening.

None of these things have any interest for dh

He could benefit from getting any kind of exercise. He gets NONE what so ever.
Overweight, high BP, diabetic, always stressed, etc

I feel connected to a few old friends, including former hubby. He takes time to check in and we chat all the time. Simple chatting about the day, what we are cooking, how are parents are doing, etc. Sometimes chat about old memories-the happy times that we miss.

Debbie
Napa Valley,CA

Time to get back in the kitchen- eggs cooked for deviled eggs and some for macaroni salad. Salad is almost all put together. Next is get two cakes in the oven(one for church, one for home) then get the deviled eggs ready to fill(make the filling in a zip lock bag, squish it up then cut a corner in the bag-like a piping bag- fill the eggs then toss the bag-no clean up)

RV Rita: Wishing you peace and centering and calming of the mind. A shout out to your DH who is being supportive! Hopefully the appointment on the 4th will be helpful! My family also likes Good Will Hunting!

Lisa: Thank you for all the information about "Country Girl Yoga"! This is very helpful and I will implement it! Appreciate it very much!

KJ Kelley: I hope you enjoy having your son back home.

Linda: I have not looked at Fly Lady but will do so.

Michele: So sorry for the loss of Loki! Love the Quilt. The shortness of breath may be from being overweight. Or it could be anxiety...I don't feel anxious...but have had shortness of breath caused by anxiety before. Interesting you sort of mentioned MAID...medical assistance in dying. I believe Canada has this and about 8 states. Georgia doesn't have MAID but you are allowed to remove your Bi-Pap. My husband was declining and becoming short of breath despite the Bi-Pap and elected to go into a hospice and have the Bi-Pap removed. So we did 95% of the ALS journey. Some ALS patients elect
MAID much sooner than this. But still I am a little traumatized by going through this. I think this contributes to my shortness of breath.

Beth: My shortness of breath could be anxiety as I said to Michele..but I don't feel anxious. I would like to have my thyroid levels checked. This last 15 pounds came on so quickly and I am not a big eater. Maybe 1500 calories when I am suppose to eat 1200 calories.

April: Thinking of you as you provide care for your son and father.

Tracey: So glad you slept better last night!

Heather: I love looking out the window at the green trees. I love candles!

Evelyn: I hope the cake decorating turns out well.

Well I have been eating the Nutrisystem snacks that are in the house. I am not use to having sweets in the house. I am told we are suppose to have one a day. I won't be able to have 30 snacks in the house for a month's supply. I will have to see if a banana or some peanut butter works for me!

Best,
Rosemarie from Georgia

Hi Gals,

Heather - For me its no partner, my dog has passed, He was my daily connection. I can go weeks without a personal connection to anyone IRL. And months without a touch. My mom hugged me about 2 months ago, she does that every 6-9 months, usually a side hug, like you could give a coworker who had a traumatic event. I talk to clients, to folks at stores – I do love to get together with friends, but many are long distance, phone calls help I love the connection on the conversations but in person connections are missing for me. I do love to garden, and when I am in my garden I will feel peace, and a connection with nature. But finding local friends is almost impossible with my current situation, almost everything takes time and money both which are in very short supply in my life. I do love a good conversation – or a walk and talk.

Easter- I have never worked anywhere when I got any time off around Easter. And I can not think of anything other than a Christian church in my area that honors the Easter season in a way other than selling bunny and colored egg themed items or offering easter egg hunts or bunny costume contests. This year with easter being early in the year the school Spring Break lands the week after Easter but this is the school district’s Spring Break week, and it is not tied to the timing of Easter just sometimes they happen to land at the same time.

Annie – sorry to hear your Dad fell. Delighted to hear you will get a respite in October and get to go to your reunion. I would recommend that you consider getting trip insurance, as with aging parents we never know when our plans can get overshadowed by their needs.

Evelyn – ADORABLE cake!
Thinking of you all,
Kim in N. California

🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for those who need them..

🙋‍♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.

☘️ Terri