Are girls ever happy with themselves?

Options
24

Replies

  • k2d4p
    k2d4p Posts: 441 Member
    Options
    I ask this coming from a girl's perspective. I feel I have done a decent job in the last year and a half first losing and then maintaining. However, I still feel that I would be happier if I lost about 20lbs more. I was discussing this with the checkout lady at our mini mart here on base (the store was really slow at the time and she is sort of a friend). She congradulated me on me weight loss and I said thank you, but I still want to lose a little more. She said that I looked great and the problem with most girls is we pick our selves apart and basically beat ourselves up mentally. My husband says similar things to me when I say I want to lose more. He says I could lose 20 or 30 more pounds, but I still wouldn't be happy about myself. Is it just ingrained in us to continually make our selves better.

    What do you all think?
    We're all doused with messages that we could be better - media, friends, parents, etc. I think this affects men as well as women. Though I do think women get a whole lot more pressure about an "ideal" - at least a physical ideal. More so in different countries, but it exists all over the world.

    I'd like to think that most people are happy with themselves sometimes. I don't spend time with people that are *never* happy with themselves. Most of my friends are pretty happy with themselves. I've spent too much of my life either being unhappy or trying to "fix" someone else's unhappiness. Both are a waste of time.

    Are you talking about strictly weight loss? You say you want to lose 20 more pounds. But your ticker says you have lost 106 pounds. Are you saying you weren't happy with yourself when you crossed the 100 pounds lost mark? Or are you saying you just aren't satisfied?

    I wish more people could celebrate the process. I wish that for you.

    Not just weight loss, but everything. I think I will look better if I lost 20 more pounds, and in turn feel better about myself. I was happy when I crossed the 100lb mark. I actually cried. But, I am still not satisfied. I don't really know what that would take or if it is even possible.
  • babyblake11
    babyblake11 Posts: 1,107 Member
    Options
    i am a healthy weight and i love who i am, i love me. sure there are some things i dont like, but i accept them as a part of who i am. so i say, although most girls are not, i am so there must be others like me!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Options
    i am a healthy weight and i love who i am, i love me. sure there are some things i dont like, but i accept them as a part of who i am. so i say, although most girls are not, i am so there must be others like me!

    i agree with this. in an ideal world there would be things i would change about myself, but generally, day to day i am happy with who i am and how i am, because whats the point sitting in a pity party every day for the rest of your life over things you cant really do much about!
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Options
    I'm happy with myself. I've had many miserable years before I chose to be happy now rather than wait for some arbitrary point in time or standard I had to meet. For me, I'd be minimizing the significance of all the things I've done if I still couldn't be happy with myself after all of that.

    It's a choice. Granted, it's not a quick choice, but in the same way you dedicated yourself to working out your body, you need to work out your inside as well. It's important. Why would you settle for making those lifestyle-changing habits just for appearance's sake? Why take steps to change your life if it's not actually going to change your life?
  • Dander
    Dander Posts: 26
    Options
    Depends on what mood I'm in...

    If I've got PMT then I hate myself and I feel like ****e. The rest of the time, I reckon I'm ace :wink:
  • Articeluvsmemphis
    Articeluvsmemphis Posts: 1,987 Member
    Options
    there's always something someone doesn't like about themselves, things other people don't even care about or notice for that matter. we live within our own bodies, and know the flaws (sometimes imagined flaws) and we want nothing more than to correct those flaws. IDK if you would be happy after loosing more weight, have you ever thought you might have other personal issues to work on besides your weight that are making you unhappy?
  • EA4488
    EA4488 Posts: 16
    Options
    I suppose I never was fat but throughout middle school, I felt bigger than everyone else. All of the popular girls wore Abercrombie and had pencil thin, lean bodies. Then there was me, braces and awkward body type. I have never felt good in my skin. In high school, I made a decision to lose all of the weight I thought I had. Influenced by a mentally abusive boyfriend, I managed to weigh an unhealthy 94 lbs by the time I got to college. Even when I was that thin, I was not happy with my body. There was always something wrong and every time I looked in the mirror, I found the ugliness everywhere I looked. After getting help from a support group and learning not to be afraid of food again, I was able to gain weight healthily.

    It will always be a struggle for me. My relationship with food will never be normal and it often makes me sad. However, I can say that when I am happiest in my life, I feel happiest about my body. When things are going well for me, when I am with someone who makes me feel beautiful, I FEEL beautiful inside and out.

    So, in short, I don't think that we are ever happy with our bodies but being happy with our lives and the things we can do with our bodies can make it a bit better.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    Options
    Sometimes, I feel like I'm the best thing since sliced bread.

    Other times, I want to punch myself in the stomach for being so fat (I am not overweight, I am quite healthy).

    I think I may have a mood disorder though.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Options
    I'm happy with myself. I've had many miserable years before I chose to be happy now rather than wait for some arbitrary point in time or standard I had to meet. For me, I'd be minimizing the significance of all the things I've done if I still couldn't be happy with myself after all of that.

    It's a choice. Granted, it's not a quick choice, but in the same way you dedicated yourself to working out your body, you need to work out your inside as well. It's important. Why would you settle for making those lifestyle-changing habits just for appearance's sake? Why take steps to change your life if it's not actually going to change your life?
    Awesome post. There is so much good truth in here. Read it again. Soak that in.
  • jnite
    jnite Posts: 108 Member
    Options
    i am a healthy weight and i love who i am, i love me. sure there are some things i dont like, but i accept them as a part of who i am. so i say, although most girls are not, i am so there must be others like me!
    This is exactly how I feel.....Sure sometimes I wish I could have straight hair instead of the curly, can't do anything with hair that I have....but then I hear someone talking about how they hate their straight hair, and think maybe it's not so bad...

    I think that people care wayyyyyy too much what others think and that can always make you feel bad about yourself. Just last night I was telling a friend that she has to pick who matters to her and worry about their opinions and everybody else's opinions can take a flying jump, because if you start caring about what some person on the street that you don't even know thinks about you, you will never measure up and never be happy with yourself.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Options
    Yes, I'm happy with myself. Do I wish my boobs were bigger? Hells to the yeah, do I wish that previous lifestyle decisions and genetics weren't working against me and causing cellulite on my upper thighs and lower *kitten* and that my veins were better, of course. Have I accepted these things about myself, I most certainly have. I'm comfortable in the skin I'm in.
  • noneya2010
    noneya2010 Posts: 446 Member
    Options
    I don't think so either. :grumble:

    I think when we grow up and put these negative thoughts in our minds (and usually we do this all on our very own! ) like "i'm ugly" or "i'm fat", etc. they stick with us!! I used to always think people were looking at me b/c I was "big". And wow - I was like 120-130 lbs growing up!! But I was so self conscious that negative voice was on replay in my mind all day. I am only 5'2 and I just found I mentally always compared myself to the other girls who were lucky enough to be taller (and thinner) than me! Even today, I see a girl who is much heavier than me, but she looks good and I think, "wow - why can't I look that good in a pair of jeans!"

    And looking back at old photos before my gains, I would do anything to be that weight again and tell myself how happy I'd be if I were at that weight again but probably the truth is, when I DO get back to that weight, I'll still have some issue with myself!!
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
    Options
    I'm happy with myself. I've had many miserable years before I chose to be happy now rather than wait for some arbitrary point in time or standard I had to meet. For me, I'd be minimizing the significance of all the things I've done if I still couldn't be happy with myself after all of that.

    It's a choice. Granted, it's not a quick choice, but in the same way you dedicated yourself to working out your body, you need to work out your inside as well. It's important. Why would you settle for making those lifestyle-changing habits just for appearance's sake? Why take steps to change your life if it's not actually going to change your life?

    Yes. Dude, I still have 119 pounds to lose, but I already feel like I'm changing mentally into my healthy self. I see the things I need to work on (mentally and physically, health and life wise alike). I know it will take time to get where I want to be in all those things. The difference is, I made the choice to start the process, instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself for having all this stuff wrong with me.

    It hurts my heart when girls say "I want to lose X pounds so I can wear dresses/tank tops/swimsuits/shorts/etc again!" I wear ALL that stuff now at 253 pounds, and I did at 275 (my highest), too. I may not have been the hottest person in them, but how can you feel better about yourself in frumpy clothes? In the same way, how can you feel better about yourself with negative attitudes toward yourself?

    There will always be things you wish you had, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy what you do have.
  • ahmpierce1
    ahmpierce1 Posts: 221 Member
    Options
    I think we live in a world that bases so much around appearance that it is hard NOT to feel insecure.

    I mean, look...we have this thing called facebook which is basically a life competition (who is still hot after high school, who has the better job, hotter husband, cuter kids, etc.) Not to mention all the commericals and ads boasting beauty products that will erase your wrinkles or cellulite or whatever.

    After a while, even if you arent initially insecure...these things will push you to at least question yourself.

    It's sad, but I think with social media...things are only going to get worse.
  • deenaspell
    deenaspell Posts: 227 Member
    Options
    I wrote a blog on this about a month or two ago! You'll have to copy and paste the link.

    http://www.deenasafari.com/blog/?p=1292

    I ask this coming from a girl's perspective. I feel I have done a decent job in the last year and a half first losing and then maintaining. However, I still feel that I would be happier if I lost about 20lbs more. I was discussing this with the checkout lady at our mini mart here on base (the store was really slow at the time and she is sort of a friend). She congradulated me on me weight loss and I said thank you, but I still want to lose a little more. She said that I looked great and the problem with most girls is we pick our selves apart and basically beat ourselves up mentally. My husband says similar things to me when I say I want to lose more. He says I could lose 20 or 30 more pounds, but I still wouldn't be happy about myself. Is it just ingrained in us to continually make our selves better.

    What do you all think?
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Options
    I think in general, most people are not ever perfectly happy with themselves. But I think there are definitely some people that are happy with themselves the way they are. I've had two friends like this and it's wonderful to be around them. I only wish I could stop picking myself apart in front of them.
  • 0PhAtDaDdY
    0PhAtDaDdY Posts: 569 Member
    Options
    Are girls ever happy with themselves
    What do you all think?

    I'm sure they are some girls happy with themselves, I just never meet one!:laugh:
    PD
  • WoWmamaErin
    WoWmamaErin Posts: 148 Member
    Options
    If only I could go back in time.

    When I graduated HS I was 180 and was so depressed and had serious self-esteem issues. I had been told by everyone that I was fat and made fun of by my 'peers'. By the end of my 2nd year at college I was up to 255. I went low carb and lost the weight in about 2 years. When I hit 180 again I was super happy! And I was kicking myself for letting everyone 'get to me' and make me hate myself. It was one of those 'If I had known then, what I know now' moments.

    Am I happy with myself now? No! (but I am happier than I was 40 lbs ago) Will I be happy when I hit 180 again? Yes! I may not be perfect and could still stand to loose 10-20lbs at that point... but I'm not striving for perfection, I'm striving to feel good about myself. If I strive for perfection I'll never be happy... no one is perfect!
  • Collinsky
    Collinsky Posts: 593 Member
    Options
    Since I had a period in my life when I was happy with my body, I know for a fact that I can be satisfied with how I look and feel. And honestly, even though I've got a ways to go to get down to my goal weight, I feel a lot more confident in my body now than I did 6 months ago. Even if I don't lose another pound, don't lose another inch, and don't drop down a size, it's still worth it to be active because of the overall difference in how I feel in my own body. In THIS body, no matter what someone else might think it should look like. I think we have a lot more choice in our thoughts and feelings than we're led to believe -- and making a conscious choice to reject negative thoughts and to on purpose think positive ones goes a long way to improving quality of life. It's definitely possible to be happy with yourself, and don't let anyone tell you you can't. Honestly, being positive is like working out -- you have to exercise it to make it stronger, and it's naturally easier for some people than it is for others. But everyone can do it. :smile:

    And just like there will always be unfit people who think working out is a waste of time, there are just as many people who think that choosing to be positive (even when it's hard) is ridiculous. They tend not to be very happy people though LOL so I'll choose to ignore them and let them do their thing while I do mine. :smile:
  • Regmama
    Regmama Posts: 399 Member
    Options
    This girl took a bit to be happy with herself. When I finally realized that happiness is a CHOICE, I decided to be happy. Are there days where I can and do complain, sure, but overall I'm at peace with my life and happy with myself. My weight loss goal is a spiritual one for me. I have been extremely gluttonous and feel spiritually attacked in regards to food. I don't want food to control my life, I want to set a good example for my children and I want my husband to be married to the woman he fell in love with (though he loves me at this size too). I want to take good care of the body God gave me, so last week was when I finally decided to agree with God.

Categories