gaining a LOT of weight after bereavement

itontae · September 30, 2011 11:20PM

I gained a lot of weight very quickly when my lovely mum died last year. It seems not everyone stops eating when stressed/sad. I coped by drinking a lot of wine and eating a ton of unhealthy stuff.

I am now on a mission to lose it.

I consider it to be "sad fat" so am twice as keen to get rid of it because it represents all the pain and sadness I felt about watching mum die. I feel the fat is almost suffocating me.

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

Thanks

vegansara · September 30, 2011 11:22PM

I can tell you that I've been dealing with some grief and family stress lately and it has been much harder to watch what I eat. So, I don't have any advice for you but good luck! I know you can do it. Just set new habits and take care of yourself, like I'm sure your mum would want.

amandavictoria80 · September 30, 2011 11:28PM

My dad died almost four years ago. I know exactly how you felt and how you feel now. It stills feels like yesterday that he died. I miss him every single day. It feels just like yesterday because I never gave myself a chance to grieve. I instead, smoked marijuana a lot and munched on everything.
It's true that I gained a lot of weight when I had my first child but it was my dad dying that made it impossible for me to change. It felt impossible to me anyways.
Now I am doing this because it's what he would have wanted for me.

Feel free to add me if you like.

You can do this!!!

kathywoo10 · September 30, 2011 11:28PM

Yeah, i gained a lot of weight after my friend died in May and my mom in December of 2009. But now I have lost 24 pounds! It can be done! Feel free to add me if you would like!

elfy66 · September 30, 2011 11:29PM

I feel like that too. My Dad died in June and I'm still coming to terms with it. I gained half a stone over the summer, on an already very heavy frame. Add me if you would like some support

koylefam · September 30, 2011 11:33PM

This past March my husband and I held a beautiful full-term baby girl for 20 minutes before she slipped into heaven.. We knew for 5 months of pregnancy that if she survived to term, she would not live long after birth. But we chose to give her all the life we could. And now I am trying to loose the baby weight that I carry; that is a daily reminder of the sweet angel waiting for me in Heaven. It is a bitter sweet reminder of the amazing 20 mnutes and the empty arms I now have... Not eating my emotions is a struggle that pounds at me daily, and I take each day as it comes and celebrate the victories no matter how small they may seem.

HungryMom · September 30, 2011 11:41PM

I'm tearing up for you, so sorry for your loss. I too am here losing my "sad fat." I had two miscarriages within one year and comforted myself with pizza and vodka. I stopped doing anything that resembled exercise and grieved. Not sure what clicked this year, but I have finally been dropping those pounds, less than 20 more to go to my pre-loss weight.. And as I improve my physical health I am more comfortable talking about my losses and am in a better mental state. It is almost like I am finding myself again. I wish you the best. There will probably be times it is physically and mentally difficult, but remember you are worth the battle.

jg627 · September 30, 2011 11:49PM

I did the same thing. I never had trouble with my weight until after...

itontae · September 30, 2011 11:54PM

I'm tearing up for you, so sorry for your loss. I too am here losing my "sad fat." I had two miscarriages within one year and comforted myself with pizza and vodka. I stopped doing anything that resembled exercise and grieved. Not sure what clicked this year, but I have finally been dropping those pounds, less than 20 more to go to my pre-loss weight.. And as I improve my physical health I am more comfortable talking about my losses and am in a better mental state. It is almost like I am finding myself again. I wish you the best. There will probably be times it is physically and mentally difficult, but remember you are worth the battle.

Hungrymum the bit about finding myself really rings true

itontae · September 30, 2011 11:55PM

I did the same thing. I never had trouble with my weight until after...

after what, jg?

jg627 · October 1, 2011 12:04AM

I did the same thing. I never had trouble with my weight until after...

after what, jg?

Death in immediate family not by natural causes

itontae · October 1, 2011 12:05AM

I did the same thing. I never had trouble with my weight until after...

after what, jg?

Death in immediate family not by natural causes
[/quote

so sorry. That will be "very sad fat " indeed

jg627 · October 1, 2011 12:12AM

I did the same thing. I never had trouble with my weight until after...

after what, jg?

Death in immediate family not by natural causes
[/quote

so sorry. That will be "very sad fat " indeed

It was my choice to deal with it the way I did, so now I have to fix myself and I've got a lot of work to do.

Rae6503 · October 1, 2011 12:20AM

My mom died last week. I've been having a hard time controlling things already. I at least forced myself to log it the last few days.

think48 · October 1, 2011 12:37AM

My mom died last week. I've been having a hard time controlling things already. I at least forced myself to log it the last few days.

My dad passed away last week also. It is definitely hard to control the eating. Right now it's just hard to not eat the bad stuff.

jenny95662 · October 1, 2011 12:40AM

I gained a lot of weight very quickly when my lovely mum died last year. It seems not everyone stops eating when stressed/sad. I coped by drinking a lot of wine and eating a ton of unhealthy stuff.

I am now on a mission to lose it.

I consider it to be "sad fat" so am twice as keen to get rid of it because it represents all the pain and sadness I felt about watching mum die. I feel the fat is almost suffocating me.

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

Thanks

sounds like me my dad passed last november and i gained 30 pounds he had congested heart failure in 07 then recovered and then went into the hospital last year with pancrentitis from a gall bladder stone getting stuck in a duct he recovered (which for a healthy person is rare) but they found a 9cm aneurism in his aorta and while waiting to recover from the sickness he had it burst and he passed, I did not get to say goodbye and it kills me everyday he is gone he was my best friend. I right now am crying writing this and feel like this feeling will never get easier if u need any help or support i know how you feel feel free to add me

buddy529 · October 1, 2011 12:41AM

I went through a tough time after my grandmother died Sept. 2010 and after a close friend was killed in a car accident earlier this year.

roblow65 · October 1, 2011 12:56AM

I also added 25 lbs to being overweight to begin with when my younger sister died at 34 yrs old from breast cancer after fighting it for 3 years. Last week I found out that my older sister (60 yrs)also has breast cancer but doesn't want to do anything about it. I also lost my mom and my dad to cancer. I noticed that in my work outs now, I seem to be doing them with lots of anger. If I'm "punching" with my arms for example, it's really punching and my face looks like I'm really angry. My husband is the one that noticed it. I do seem to be taking this better than I did with my other family members, hopefully it's coming out in my exercising.

LauraMarie37 · October 1, 2011 1:02AM

My dad died when I was 14, exactly 12 years ago tomorrow. I STILL know that I will be in a rough emotional place tomorrow and will probably do some emotional eating - even now, 12 years later. I think it's just something you have to accept and not be angry at yourself for, because when you're angry at yourself, that leads to more destructive behaviors (like wine and emotional eating - or, for me, working out until I passed out combined with emotional eating). For me, that was the hardest part - once I forgave myself and accepted myself, even in the middle of a binge, then it was much easier to work out and eat healthfully. Because the only sustainable reason to work out and eat healthfully is because you VALUE yourself. (And remembering how much your loved one valued you is a good way to help get you back on track.)

But the strength I found in myself while living through my grief, while rebuilding my life without the support and love and guidance of my father - that makes the strength I need to make myself workout when I don't feel like it look like a walk in the park.

You'll get there, and you'll be stronger and healthier because of all you've come through.

fezzy1 · October 4, 2011 10:25PM

My lovely mum died 3 months ago and usually I lose lots of weight when stressed, however, I cannot seem to stop picking and seem to need at least one or two drinks every night and I still feel empty. I also watched her die after 2 massive strokes and now work full time with a disabled father to cope with! I just feel fat, frumpy and invisible.....

choconuts · October 4, 2011 10:29PM

Yes. My brother (only sibling) passed in a car accident in 2004. I initially lost 20 pounds, only to gain over 40+ within 6 months.

gaining a LOT of weight after bereavement

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