Feeling SO stressed & upset right now!!

First of all, a little bit of background info to catch you all up to speed:
*Dated ex for 3 years & been broken up for a little over a year now. However, we have kept in touch & even slept together a few times over the course of this past year (stupid I know but always during times when I thought he was supposedly serious about wanting to reconcile with me). The last time that happened & the last time I saw him was the end of August. We spent alot of time together in July & August (supposedly seeing each other exclusively during that time) & I thought for sure we were going to end up reconciling & become bf & gf again. However, he at the end of August started blowing off our plans & completely stopped coming to see me with zero explanation given & I haven't seen him since then. The first few weeks in Sept., I really didn't hear from him much. I kept trying to contact him to get answers & figure out what was going on (since last I knew we were trying to reconcile) & he basically just kept blowing me off. All Sept., he really never stopped contacting me (expect once for a couple of days when I didn't hear from him at all), but he always was avoiding talking about what was going on with us & would just send "friendly"/meaningless little texts like "Hi. Hope you have a good day today", etc. So, now let's fast forward to my current situation with him:


I've been crying off & on for the past 30 minutes or so & finally decided to get on here & vent to you guys in the hopes that it will somehow make me feel better.

Been trying to keep no contact with my ex but have really struggled with it the past few weeks & have ended up talking to ex briefly on the phone a few times recently & texted him back and forth several times. (Yes, I know...that was stupid of me). It was hard to resist talking to him because he has been texting & leaving me voice mail messages every single day. I managed to ignore him (NC) for a few days & then my curiosity got the best of me so I finally returned one of his calls a few minutes after he called me & point blank asked him what he wanted & why had he been trying to contact me so much. I thought maybe he'd say he wanted to reconcile & be a couple again since he'd been sending me texts the past week or two saying stuff like "I really miss you and ___(___=my daughter). Please call me back", etc. For a second before calling him, I thought if he was REALLY serious about wanting to reconcile he would have made that CRYSTAL CLEAR to me & I wouldn't even have to ask him what he wants. But...against my better judgement, I for some reason (missing him?) called & talked to him anyways. Well, long story short I so wish I had trusted my gut instinct and NOT talked to him unless & until he was VERY clear about wanting to reconcile with me. I say this because after talking for several minutes, I kept asking him if he was even single for now or if he had a GF because he kept asking me stuff like you'd ask if you were having a convo about reconciling like asking me if I'd be willing to move to his area. I told him before the conversation went any further I really needed to know whether or not he's even single right now because I told him if you're NOT single at the moment then this conversation is just purely hypothetical and pointless! So, he wouldn't give me a straight answer about whether or not he currently has a GF but he finally did say "Well, maybe I'm seeing someone right now" which to me says regardless of whether or not he's calling her his GF yet, the bottom line is he's dating & I'm sure sleeping with someone else when he could be doing those things with me.

As you can probably imagine, I'm more than a little upset that here he is calling & texting me saying stuff to basically get my hopes up that he wants to reconcile by saying I really miss you, etc. but he's yet again chosen to date/sleep with someone else exclusively when he could have been with me. I'm starting to feel like he wants to be in a relationship with any girl BUT me.

So, that was a few days ago that he admitted he's "maybe" seeing someone else & although he hasn't been contacting me as frequently since then, he's still continuing to text & call me still saying stuff like "Will you move to ____"? (_____=His City). He & I live a little over an hour away from each other. When I talked to him the other day, he made it sound like he misses me & maybe wants to get back together with me but he said he can't afford the whole long distance thing. That is such a crock of ____ because RIGHT after he said he can't afford to date me because of the long distance thing (price of gas for his truck, etc), he then was like "Guess what? I just bought another apartment building the other day"! So, clearly he CAN afford the gas, etc. to come see me. It apparently is just more of a matter of him being a *kitten* & thinking why bother driving an hour to see her when I can date/sleep with someone that lives alot closer! Now, it's not like he outright told me that's his mentality about this but I'm pretty sure that's what it is cause him not being able to afford it is a crock of ____.

It's rather ironic timing that he suddenly keeps texting me asking if I'd move to his city because I just got a letter in the mail from my landlord the other day basically giving me & the other tenants in our building a 30 day notice because our apartment building is apparently being foreclosed on. That was very unexpected & it's quite stressful that I now have to deal with finding a new place to move to, packing up all our stuff, somehow coming up with the money to move, etc. on such short notice. I was feeling so stressed out about the letter telling me I'm going to have to move that for some dumb reason I called my ex. He basically was like "Hey, things with us must be meant to be because now you can move to my city". When he said that, I was pretty angry because I was like what about this girl you're seeing?? I guess part of me was hoping that he'd offer to immediately end things with her, go back out with me, help me with the move, help me to find a new place in his area, etc but...that didn't happen. I can't even believe he's still trying to get me to move to his city even though he's dating someone else right now!

First of all, I think if he really loved me, he'd want to be with me now REGARDLESS of where I lived! If he really wanted to be with me, he wouldn't even care that I lived a little over an hour's drive away because he'd think I was WORTH the drive, especially since he'd know that the long distance was just a temporary problem, right??

So, I have 3 options in regards to moving that I've narrowed it down to. Stay in my current city but just move across town to a new apartment, move to a city that's only about 20 minutes from where DD & I currently are that I also like alot or move a little over an hour away to ex's city which I also like alot. After visiting his city so much the past few years, I grew to genuinely love it & I do feel like it has alot to offer. On the other hand, since ex & I aren't together & I'm clearly still not over him, I think moving there right now might be kind of depressing because so many places there will remind me of times spent with him. However, on the other hand, I can honestly say that city/area has alot to offer my daughter & I. Moving to a new place right across town is kind of what I'm leaning towards because at the moment it for some reason just feels like the least stressful option. Mainly because my exhusband totally flipped out a few years back when he thought DD&I were going to be moving an hour away & even though I have a legal right to be able to do so, I really don't think I can deal with him flipping out right now on top of all the other stress I already have. However, I just know that if/when ex finds out that I've decided not to move to his city that he's going to be like "well, you just ruined your chance to be with me because you know I hated the long distance thing & you had the opportunity to move to my city & chose not to" & him saying something like that would likely really upset me.

The thing is, he obviously must not want me to move to his city THAT bad or else he'd have called me up and been like "I really want to be with you. I'm so sorry about everything. I just ended things with that girl because you're the one for me, etc. Will you please be my girlfriend again & you guys can live with me or I'll help you find a place up here"? But...notice he's not saying any of that.

It breaks my heart that he acts as though he only thinks it's "worth" having me as his GF again if I'm ALREADY living in his city. Question for the men on this board, if you really loved a girl, wouldn't you be willing to drive an hour back and forth to see her, especially if she told you that after even just a month or two of dating again & things going well that she'd be willing to move to your city??? Am I really being unreasonable to think he should be willing to do that for me??

Last night, after not hearing from him all night (I’m sure because he was with that girl), I got a text from saying “I will help you”. (I sent him some texts earlier basically saying I don’t know if I could ever forgive him for not being there for me during this move since it was so unexpected & is for various reasons going to be really stressful for me). The thing is though, I don’t know how he thinks he can help me but as long as he has some other girl that he’s dating/screwing when he could be with me, I don’t WANT his help! I told him I want NOTHING to do with him unless he’s currently single & serious about reconciling & it’s not like he’s saying he ended things with her & wants to be with me so….

I keep thinking about how I really wish when we reconnected this past summer that things had gone more smoothly & that we had at that point gotten back together & been bf/gf these past few months because then it would have felt right & natural to move in with him (or get my own place in his city) when we have to move a month from now. I'm just heartbroken because here I am thinking after all this time he should know that I'm the one he wants to marry & spend the rest of his life with & he apparently doesn't want to commit to even being my boyfriend. A few months back (after not seeing or even talking to each other for quite awhile), he called me up crying & saying all this stuff about how he doesn't want to lose me, knows now I'm the one, is ready for us to get engaged now, etc. but seeing as he's dating someone else right now, clearly he didn't mean any of that.

Oh & did I mention I'm completely stressed out right now because I have to somehow miraculously come up with an extra $700 or so this month for the security deposit for my new apartment?

Okay vent/story over. Any input would be much appreciated because I am just feeling overwhelmingly sad & stressed right now.