How much do you tell someone new? (Dating after weight loss

Oh gosh..... some people never consider the impact when they're just joking. I would say show up, and then if you get to have a moment of private conversation, be honest with him. It's always better to be 120% honest than to have it come up later for some reason..... in my opinion.

that seems like such a weird note to end on in a text message!

however, he doesn't know about your situation. maybe just let him know that you used to be bigger and that you're really enjoying being healthy now. i don't think you need to go into too much detail, but maybe he'll be more sensitive in the future.

i say give him one more chance because it sounded like you guys hit it off the first time. if he keeps making comments like that, then ditch the *kitten* and find someone who wouldn't care if you weighed 300 lbs.

Well....I can see how that comment would hurt your feelings but he of course had no idea. If I were you and you really like him I would let it slide for right now. Wait until you guys get to know each other better and start talking about more intimate details about yourselves. Then you can tell him about your story. That way you don't make him look like a total a**hole right off the bat and you don't put yourself too out there right in the beginning. If you call him out now he might be so embarrassed he'll just retreat. I don't know?? Good luck!

Wow! Of all things for him to say...

First of all, congrats! That's an awesome amount to lose!

Second of all, I don't think you should worry just yet. I would first see if it gets a little more serious and where things go with you two. It could start really nice but in a few weeks just kind of fade. You never know.

But if things progress nicely, I'd just bring it up, when you feel comfortable. Even mention what he said that one time about not being 300lbs, and how that sparked your thought on what to say and when. You can go through the whole thing with him and how you lost weight to better yourself. If he has such an issue with that, he's really not worth it. The past shouldn't matter, especially since it's not a past that could affect him in any way.

And a side note: Him saying that was kind of a little rude. I know he probably meant it as a joke, but I think jokes like that are just not so funny. So maybe you explaining this all to him will change his outlook...and attempts at jokes!

I'm a man, so I hope I qualify to give advice.

Firstly, a lot of men don't engage brain before opening mouth, so in all likelihood it was just a flip comment that means absolutely nothing at all.

Secondly, 300lbs is pretty much spot on, so maybe he knows somehow. if that's the case, and he's still seeing you, he doesn't care. Win!

Thirdly, if he's worth his salt, when he does find out he should be impressed. If all he can focus on is a few scars, kick him to the kerb and find someone less shallow.

Lastly, do you have to tell him straightaway? Maybe you won't want to leave it too long, but at the outset probably not.

HTH

I’m a little put off by what he said. What a weird comment. I guess my question is are you OK with that? I'd tell him and find out what his VALUES are before you spend too much more time.

I say share it. I think it's an important part of what makes you who you are today. You have accomplished so much and should be proud to shout it from roof-tops! If the relationship is meant to be than he will congratulate you and look at you for the hero that you are. Don't hide - you've come too far for that.

I did online dating... most of the time the pictures are not accurate and so that text message was purly aimed at that.

I would say tell him within the first couple of in person dates. But when the topic naturally goes to health. Like if you talk about how much you exercise or what "diet" you are following to stay healthy. I actually told my guy that I use MFP and that I probably would for a long time because I don't plan on gaining the weight back. He accepted that and we are happy now.

But if you don't think that you two have the inperson chemistry, don't spill you beans to him. There is no need for him to know

You don't tell somebody you just met. Enjoy the date and bring it up only if the subject arises. It is quite an accomplishment and something you should be proud about, but I don't think it should be a conversation starter. JMO, good luck!

Hi! Just to say I went on your profdilew and saw the before and after pics...damn you look amaizing! congrats on all those lost pounds!

Golly I agree!

After you tell him (whenever that is) he's going to remember and deeply regret that text comment. I'd probably mention it if it casually comes up in conversation. Otherwise, IT'S A DATE! Just enjoy it for what it is and worry about your future together if/when you know him well enough to decide whether or not that's a good thing.

I say go for coffee. This sounds pretty new to me. i wouldn't rush into telling him to much. As/if the relationship progresses, at some point sure I would tell him the history. But now have fun!!

See how it goes before revealing too much information. If you hit it off, and feel like sharing the information, that's your call.

Congrats on the weight loss, too!!!

Double post...

Oh, wow! Well, first of all, you're amazing and I'm in awe of your progress. That's a really interesting question! I have been talking to a guy for a few months (long story) and we haven't met yet but he knows all about my weight loss. We talk about it everyday. It helps me because he's really thin and I can say, like, "Check this out. I am worried about my boobs or my tummy or my whatever. Let's talk about it. What do you think?" sort of thing. Initially he was like, "Oh, I'm sure you're fine. You probably look great!" and I had to reel him in a bit (because I don't want to false advertise!) by saying like, "Not really. It's different after weight loss and I'm self-conscious about my body." It seems like he mostly gets it and is super understanding! But I can't imagine waiting to spring it on him til right before we're about to get busy. lol

So, my vote is to talk about it soon. Maybe not details the VERY first date as ANY kind of surgery is arguably too personal and serious for something that should be light and fun and happy. But, mention your weight loss. Maybe even, if you're comfortable with it, satisfy his curiosity by telling him your heaviest weight. Then again, you just may shock the poor guy because you look so beautiful and he would not see it coming! I, personally, haven't told the man I'm talking to my heaviest weight but he knows roughly what I weigh now and how much I lost so he's probably put two and two together. lol But I explicitly said, "Few non MFP-people know that number and I'd prefer to wait to tell you til I'm closer to goal." And he was great about it.

Sorry I'm relating by talking about my experience so much! But our situations are similar enough that I figured some back story might help you decide how you want to handle it.

Ultimately, I feel confident about my body and my weight loss, even if I'm not 100% happy with how I look yet. (We're women...when will that EVER be the case? lol!) But what helped was what a great reaction HE has to all of it. He's seen me from pretty much every angle, in various stages of undress (thank you, camera phones!) and definitely likes what he sees, so it quells my insecurities.

There are definitely guys out there who appreciate real women with real bodies and real experiences. I am crossing my fingers for you that your guy is one of them. All the best, honey! ♥