confrontation, what do you think?

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  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
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    WOW- this could be a tough one. I think its all in how you say. Start very nice, like hi, how are you? Then say something like i love your dedication, i see you everyday. Next lead with you have very bad allergies or sinus issues and that perfume and strong orders make them worst and you noticed that when she works out near you have issues. Last end with it really great that's she working out and your not trying to offend her its just you want to get the best workout too.

    She may not even know its that strong since no one has told her. If she's a classy lady she'll take your words in the kind spirit you give them. If she's not hopefully she'll get mad that when you arrive or she see's you at the gym she moves far away from you.

    This. Sandwich it in nice complimentary stuff. When addressing the complaint stick to facts: I notice your perfume I notice I have a strong allergic reaction, looks like there are other machines a little ways away you can choose.

    Establish your respect for her hard work and say you hate to make this strange request but you seem to be chemically sensitive and she seems like such a nice person you were hoping she'd understand.

    Even though you may be uncomfortable try to resist relieving your discomfort by joking. It would come out wrong if youre anything like me.
  • hardatwork45
    hardatwork45 Posts: 80 Member
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    Thanks everyone for your suggestions.

    My gym membership is free its a military installation and I'd rather smell a soldier who has been running all morning and coming to the gym to lift weights than to smell her perfume. Smells don't really bother me I have 5 brothers and 3 sons,not saying that men stink but when they have been playing ball and sweating its something to deal with...LOL

    I'm going to talk with management in the morning to see what if anything they can do about practicing a scent free environment. Changing my time slot is not an option for me.

    Thanks again,
    I'll let you guys know what management says.
  • hardatwork45
    hardatwork45 Posts: 80 Member
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    I vote NO. Do not confront her. There are other areas of the gym that you can move to when she comes up beside you. So sorry if you felt like doing the elliptical, go play on the treadmill or the weight circuit, or the bikes, or the stair steppers, or the free weight area, or the stability ball.....anywhere else. Or change the time you go. I think it wouldn't solve anything to confront her, if anything it will piss her off and cause her to make it a point to come near you just to make the B who told her she stinks suffer. IMO.

    WOW!!!!!,
    this was pretty strong, I don't know how your gym is set up but at my gym all of your suggestions are in the same area so there is no where for me to run. I use the elliptical because its the ONLY machine I can use because of a knee injury, I prefer to be outside running instead of inside the gym but I can't.
  • hardatwork45
    hardatwork45 Posts: 80 Member
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    Maybe I'm the only dirty mind here, but I bet she is working out close to you because has a girlcrush.

    Which also explains why she is wearing the perfume... she wants to smell nice so you will talk to her.
    That's what I'm thinking.

    LOL,
    I think its a man thing, my husband said the same thing and he just laughs when he sees her coming in.
  • hardatwork45
    hardatwork45 Posts: 80 Member
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    Don’t confront her. Take the passive aggressive approach by eating lots of high-fiber foods, specifically, beans before a work out. Broccoli won’t hurt either. When she starts coming around wearing her overbearing perfume, start ripping mad *kitten* around her. She won’t want to come around you again.


    OMG, too funny, I needed this laugh, I would be too embarassed to do it but it sounds funny!!!!
    Maybe I can get someone else to do it to her so she can see how it feels.
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • sabified
    sabified Posts: 1,051 Member
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    WOW- this could be a tough one. I think its all in how you say. Start very nice, like hi, how are you? Then say something like i love your dedication, i see you everyday. Next lead with you have very bad allergies or sinus issues and that perfume and strong orders make them worst and you noticed that when she works out near you have issues. Last end with it really great that's she working out and your not trying to offend her its just you want to get the best workout too.

    She may not even know its that strong since no one has told her. If she's a classy lady she'll take your words in the kind spirit you give them. If she's not hopefully she'll get mad that when you arrive or she see's you at the gym she moves far away from you.

    I agree with this approach... I don't think you should not approach her (err... does that make sense?)... If she is doing something that makes you uncomfortable to the point where it's affecting your use of the facilities (which you have just as much right to as she does) then you should do something about it. Actually, the staff should, but they sound like a buncha wimps. Speaking with her respectfully is the least you can do... if she responds badly, then it sucks but at least you've done what you can do.
  • Ebbykins
    Ebbykins Posts: 420 Member
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    1. Your gym SUCKS for management's lack of balls. Yes, it is clearly bothering someone. There is no reason they can't post a "please no perfumes as some of our patrons are sensitive" at the front desk and in the locker rooms.

    2. I would not mention it to her. It won't go well.

    3. Change machines - and if you don't like that, change gyms and find one where management has balls and takes care of business.

    This ^^ I wouldn't be supporting somewhere that didn't cater to just plain common sense unless I absolutely have to and saying something to her isn't going to work well.... Wouldn't it be funny that she's paranoid of smelling bad during her workout and puts it on specifically just before her gym time... LOL. Ohhh neurotic people are so fun to watch though. :)
  • ak_in_ak
    ak_in_ak Posts: 657 Member
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    You shouldn't have to suffer...you should be able to work out without that...I agree with a previous poster about commenting on her committment, and then say that politely that you are allergic to all perfume, and it is bothering you. If someone had come up to me and told me, I wouldn't be mad...but that's just me. I would want someone to tell me if I'm offending someone!

    I agree, I don't think you should have to suffer. She probly doesn't realize it. Even if you do hurt her feelings it is not the end of the world.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    1. Your gym SUCKS for management's lack of balls. Yes, it is clearly bothering someone. There is no reason they can't post a "please no perfumes as some of our patrons are sensitive" at the front desk and in the locker rooms.

    2. I would not mention it to her. It won't go well.

    3. Change machines - and if you don't like that, change gyms and find one where management has balls and takes care of business.

    THIS!!!

    Many places of employment have "scent free" zones due to people with allergies, etc.... I would go to management and let them know that the employees refused to assist you. It is their JOB to make sure everyone is comfortable...uh, and can BREATH!

    Not only that, some perfumes will smell great on some people and horrible on other people - if I really liked a perfume but it smelled awful, I would want to know. Although I would probably only say something if I knew that person REALLY well.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,579 Member
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    Easy way to solve this......................................buy a "fart" machine and sound it off every time she's near you. And say excuse me to her each time. I promise you this works.
  • mrmarler
    mrmarler Posts: 121 Member
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    1. the above post hilarious
    2. I would ask for the gym manager, she is bothering you, I totally understand, I am supersensitive to smells, If the manager wont do anything, I would confront her, the worst she thing she could do is be rude to you and talk about you to her friends, and not get on a machine right next to you.
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,359 Member
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    You could try a less offensive approach such as a "it's me, not you" appeal. For example, "I have allergies and certain perfumes make me sneeze, congested and even nauseous. I wouldn't have said anything except I notice that we seem to work out at the exact same time and use the same equipment. I would really appreciate it if you didn't wear perfume to the gym, for my sake." If she doesn't care or disregards this, there really isn't much you can do, other than avoiding her like the plague. Good luck!
  • Nick0sm0m
    Nick0sm0m Posts: 18 Member
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    Don’t confront her. Take the passive aggressive approach by eating lots of high-fiber foods, specifically, beans before a work out. Broccoli won’t hurt either. When she starts coming around wearing her overbearing perfume, start ripping mad *kitten* around her. She won’t want to come around you again.

    This is an amazing response!

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