Single children vs. siblings
What do you think it's beneficial for a child, to be a single child or to have at least one more sibling? How do you think this affects the child as an adult? What is your experience with yourself and your children? If you decided to have more than one child, why? I am a single child, and it sucked! But my parents were ok with not having to go through diaper phase all over again, so they stopped at 1.
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I have come in contact with a lot of only children that are spoiled brats....I would never have just one, but that's just me.0
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I grew up as one of 5 siblings and between the fun, there was a lot of fighting and competition.
I think single children tend to grow up more as one of the adults and mature quicker. In all honesty I don't think it really matters.
If you're a single child that's what you know... if you're a sibling, that's what you know --- neither is better or worse.
I chose not to have any (well I couldn't have any) Being an Aunt 11 times is awesome! I get to spoil them, I'm the cool adult they talk to and want to hang out with -- and I don't have to pay for their college
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I have two siblings. I couldn't imagine life without them.. however, most of my friends are single children, and they are no different than I (maybe sometimes even better).
I know someone people say that the child's social skills are affected since they dont have another child to grow up with them.. That's what play dates and friends are for. I think as long as the child is happy (and the parents are happy) then it doesn't matter if they have siblings or not0 -
I am an only child and although I am a little more introverted and shy than my friends who had siblings, I am way more independent and ok with being alone. Some of my friends stay in unhealthy relationships just because they don't want to be alone. Some of the best time and most enlightening times in my life happened when I was alone. But having said that I plan on having at least 2 kids.0
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Even though my brother is a pain in the rear sometimes; I am happy to have him to lean on. we were raised in a single parent household and when we lost our mother, I still had him.0
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I have 4 siblings and loved having a big family growing up, but at the same time, I don't know anything else so I cannot compare. It is really up the couple whether or not they want to have more than one, everyone is different. I have a daughter who is almost 2 1/2 and a son that will arrive in early December. I'd love to have a big family, but at the same time I want to be able to provide for my family. I love all my siblings and remain close to them along the years. I'm nothing without my family
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I was 1 of 3 and I have 3 now. I love having more than1 and they are fairly close in age. My boys (the 2 oldest) are best buddies and I can't imagine 1 not having the other. They do everything together! My daughter is 5 years younger than the middle one and they are very close to her as well, they spoil her rotten! I am very lucky though, I know families who have more than 1 that don't get along. I guess it's what you make of it! (mixed with luck, LOL)0
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I had 1 daughter and I finally decided that I would have another child (when my 1st was 6) because I felt guilty having her be an only child. I was worried about how it would be when her father an I were gone and she was alone in the world. Kind of weird, I know, but I now have 2 beautiful chilren (thank God) and I'm much happier for it and they love each other dearly so I think my oldest is happier for it too.0
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I have 5. They fight. A LOT.
But they also love each other. A LOT.
I hate the fighting, but when they're being sweet, nothing beats it!
I'm one of four, and though it was rough (arguing and bickering with my siblings) sometimes, we didn't do that forever. We eventually grew up. I come from a huge family (my dad is one of 11, my mother 1 of 6), so I never anticipated a small family. My husband grew up several years younger than his siblings, and he was basically like an only child, and he's a spoiled brat. STILL. AT 50. He just sucks if he doesn't get his way.0 -
I'm an only child too. I was NOT spoiled, though -- my parents were overly strict, and I think lacked the perspective that comes with having more than one to focus on. I think the experiences of an only child depend on the parents -- if they're loving, understanding, have a good marriage / family life, and give their child what they need, then that's all that matters.
That said, I have 2 kids myself. I know how much I missed having siblings growing up -- and I miss having them even MORE now that I'm older. I think it's good to have someone in your life (besides your parents) who knew you throughout your whole life, and shares your family experiences. I wanted my kids to have someone else to "lean on" that would always be there, no matter what.0 -
I have only one child.
I have read that one of the best indicators of future success in life is sibling rivalry.
So having kids so they can fight with each other(in a healthy way) actually makes all of them better.0 -
I was an only and I liked it. Sometimes I think it would have been nice to have siblings, but I had cousins and friends and I have friends and cousins who are LIKE siblings without all the fighting and crap that goes on.
As my parents age, I'm kind of concerned how I'll deal with it if and when they can't live on their own anymore (especially because they're divorced and live in different states now).
Otherwise, I think I am more mature and have closer friendships than I would had I had siblings. But that's a maybe because you just don't know with "ifs."
My daughter is an only, as well, and seems to be OK with it. She does have two half sisters through her father, but long story short, she doesn't know them.0 -
Single child = bad idea! I think it is unfair for the child to not have that bond. The same goes for kids with big age gaps of 5 + years. They tend to be just as spoiled and don't get the benifits of a sibling. I honestly think the worst situation is 3 kids. The middle child tends to get over showded. I can think of several kids that are screwed up becasue of it. One friend has twin older sisters ( count them as one kid) and a younger brother. The sisters are beautiful and got tons of attention and the brother was super smart. The middle kid never got the attention he wanted and always felt like he was in competion.0
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I'm an only child and I think I turned out okay I always wanted a sibling growing up but never got one! I had a great childhood; however, and I had a lot of cousins who were "like" my siblings. I'm really close to them to this day. I don't think I was spoiled any more than kids that had siblings. A lot of kids at my school had siblings and had way more (material things) than I did. All it takes it one "spoiled brat" only-child to ruin all of our reputations 0
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What do you think it's beneficial for a child, to be a single child or to have at least one more sibling? How do you think this affects the child as an adult? What is your experience with yourself and your children? If you decided to have more than one child, why? I am a single child, and it sucked! But my parents were ok with not having to go through diaper phase all over again, so they stopped at 1.
I'm a single child and I've never had an issue. I had friends to play with, etc. Plus, you get more awesome presents.
Personally, too many people have too many kids. 2 should be the max imo.0 -
I grew up an only child. My parent's divorced then my mom got remarried & had my half brother when I was 13. I think we have the most special relationship in the world!!0
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Its Life. You can't have children just to make your other child happy, esp if its going to make you unhappy - an unhappy parent is not a good parent.
i have an only child and its just too bad, I'm too old to have any more. She is fine, has loads of friends and I have her involved in many activities already.
You can always blame your childhood (or your parents) for any real or imagined problem but fact is, its really hard to pick how being a single ton or one of a bunch affects your personality.
I'd rather have the one and make sure she gets fantastic opportunities than have several and give her a very basic life.0 -
That's because of bad parenting, not because they're only children. I know a lot of not only children who are spoiled brats, too.I have come in contact with a lot of only children that are spoiled brats....I would never have just one, but that's just me.0 -
Most of the families I've come across that can only (or have chosen to) have one child, the child was just spoiled. The parents would be very clingy too and not have their child "breathe" and the whole "sharing thing"..forget it! Not sure how all this would affect them as a grown up- I don't know any as adults. I think every child should have a sibling, someone to play with and grow up with but that's my opinion. I'm the oldest of 3 kids and at 29 years old I am so glad I have siblings. I have someone to talk to about our childhood memories, someone who always had my back through my teens years and who will ALWAYS be there when my friends couldn't be. I have 3 children of my own and have always wanted 3 kids. Yes, I'm always busy but I can't imagine only having one child. I love watching them play together and fight together..Lol! I love seeing the different personalities and how they look like us.0
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Family reunions are a lot more fun when it is a bunch of people. I only have one child but i want 2 more. I have one brother wish i had more family cause friends come and go but family is forever.0
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I am one of three daughters. I'm the youngest and both of my sisters are just enough older then me that growing up we missed out on the bonding. Liz is 4 yrs older then I am and Kate is 8 yrs older. We are all VERY different people so that didn't help the bonding either. Regardless I love my sisters and would never give them up. As adults we are much closer then i ever expected. Watching my mother struggle with an uneasy relationship with her sister I see the benefits of siblings as an adult. We thought that we would only have one but then I saw what my mother is going through essentially being a single child as an adult and I would never want to take that relationship away from my children. I don't want my children to go through what one of my only child friends is going through alone, losing their parent at a young age. While my sisters and I come from very different places in life (they're both adopted) and we are all so opposite I wouldn't wish anyone to have to go through life without a sibling.
It's not just about when you're young it's about life. You can have friends and a spouse but who is to say they will always be there. A sibling, no matter what, will always be there good bad or otherwise. Thats one sense of security I don't think anyone should be without. There is no one in this world that can replace a sibling. period. from 8 to 80 siblings are irreplaceable.0 -
I have two siblings...both male and are 10 and 11 years older than I am. I was basically a single child but had the benefits of having older siblings when I needed them. I have a daughter that is almost 8, I'm divorced and in no rush to have another child yet. I had never planned on having children of my own...I had wanted to adopt when I was around age 30. I'm 26, single, and raising a 7 year old on my own. Plans change. I don't think it matters if a child has siblings or not...it depends on the environment in which the child is raised and if they have friends outside the family. My daughter is involved in a few groups and gets to interact with others her age on a daily basis. She's not missing out on anything that a sibling would or would not provide. I'd love to meet a good man, settle down, and maybe have another child...but it's not something that is needed.0
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I had 1 daughter and I finally decided that I would have another child (when my 1st was 6) because I felt guilty having her be an only child. I was worried about how it would be when her father an I were gone and she was alone in the world. Kind of weird, I know, but I now have 2 beautiful chilren (thank God) and I'm much happier for it and they love each other dearly so I think my oldest is happier for it too.
I'm an only child and I know exactly what you're talking about. It scares me to have to deal with that alone when the time comes.
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That's because of bad parenting, not because they're only children. I know a lot of not only children who are spoiled brats, too.I have come in contact with a lot of only children that are spoiled brats....I would never have just one, but that's just me.
amen.
bad parenting seems to be all too common in this day and age.
spank your kids!0 -
I'm the yougest of 4 and I have 4 myself. Holidays were a blast with siblings. I try to imagine Christmas morning without siblings around and all I hear is crickets chirping.0
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I had a difficult labor with my daughter and a rough first few months of her life. We talked about stopping at one but ultimately decided we wanted her to have a sibling. It is challenging having two little ones so close together (2 years apart), but I wouldn't change it for anything! It's so much fun and they are so sweet together. We know several only children and they all have a hard time sharing toys and attention alike. I think it's just harder for them because they have all the attention at home.
On the other hand, having only one would allow you to give them more enriching experiences. It would be easier to travel with one child. I barely want to leave the house with two. You wouldn't have to limit extracurriculars because of time or money. If you have two or three kids in dance, sports, music lessons etc, it gets expensive. With just one, there's more money to pay for those kinds of things.0 -
while i wished to be an only child as i was growing up (haha), i am so thankful for my brother and sister as an adult. it was really nice when my dad was dying of prostate cancer and helping mom wasn't my responsibility alone. we were all there for her and for each other.0
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I dont think it matters. I am the youngest of 3. I have an older brother and sister but it seems like I am the only child. We r all 2years apart but we r not close at all. It was like an every person for himself attitude. My older siblings didnt teach me anything, give me guidance or show me the ropes. I had to learn everything on my own or thru friends.
I hv one biological son and a step son that hv been raised together for 7 years. Fortunately, they hv a close bond and u wouldnt be able to tell that they are not blood related.0 -
That's because of bad parenting, not because they're only children. I know a lot of not only children who are spoiled brats, too.I have come in contact with a lot of only children that are spoiled brats....I would never have just one, but that's just me.
I agree...bad parenting!0 -
I am the oldest of two, my brother is 3 1/2 years younger than I am. We like each other but we were NEVER close, never playmates, we're just VERY different people. He lives only 25 min from me and mostly I only see him on holidays. So having a sibling doesn't mean instant best friend or buddy for life.
My husband and I have an only child that will stay that way. There are a LOT of factors that go into choosing how many children to have no matter the number, ours came down to only one child was best.
I think it's easier now to have an only child because kids have so much interaction with other kids through school, activities etc than they did even 20 years ago. So the socialization is great and yet I can go home to our own quiet house
Yes money was a factor, we want to be able to have enough time and money to do more things than WE would be able to afford with more kids (again what one family could afford is different from another) so we didn't want to miss out on fun stuff because it was too expensive.
My husband has Multiple Sclerosis so his health was a factor (albeit one of the smaller factors actually) and I'm currently in school to be an RN and want my husband to be able to work part time or not at all when I'm done with school and still live comfortably.
I enjoy dating my husband, I never want to have been so wrapped up in my child's life that I forgot about the most important relationship in my life (my marriage) and having one child allows us a date night every month, something I hear A LOT of families with more kids (more than 2 usually) complain that they don't get.
There is no perfect formula and what works for my family probably won't for anyone else's but that's fine, I just wish people would quit telling me that I'm scarring my child by not giving him a "playmate" a sibling or a "best friend". My child is NOT spoiled, I know several families with multiple children who are spoiled, so spoiled has ZERO to do with being an only, it's about bad parenting
In most families only one child ends up with the burden of the parents in old age anyhow no matter the number. VERY VERY few families share that responsibility well so that was NOT a factor, and my husband and I have already made good plans for the future (and I'm only 29 and hubby is 35). Our son will be 5 in December and I'm glad we're done with the baby stage 0
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