Creepy guy in the weight room advice

i caught a bum lying in the bushes outside my gym jerking it to the zumba class one time. this is not that bad.

totally agree you're being a little paranoid, though. informing gym staff of one isolated of dude staring or even following you is a little extreme. if it happens again, yeah.

Maybe he was staring at you without knowing he was freaking you out.........now if he was pointing at you, licking his lips,shaking his head up and down, then rubbing his hands together yeah I could see why you're freaked out.

Ewww!!! HAhahahaha Honestly, just inform other staff members but don't freak out just yet unless he's as Scott described.

I go to the gym anywhere from 8pm to 1 (sometimes 2)AM and I see a lot of people who give me weird vibes. I don't freak out over it though because I carry my mace and I do my best to park right in front and under lighting.
If I were ever to have any sort of encounter, however, then I would certainly inform a staff member immediately and proceed to either have someone escort and/or watch me to my car from the front desk, or wait inside the gym until safe.
I also carry mace and make sure to walk with my head up high.

Maybe he was staring at you without knowing he was freaking you out.........now if he was pointing at you, licking his lips,shaking his head up and down, then rubbing his hands together yeah I could see why you're freaked out.

LOL

Also the guys in here that think we're being overly-paranoid...fortunately for you, you will never have to live life with the fear that somebody will attack you simply because you're viewed as an inferior and weak person due to your gender. You don't have to carry rape whistles, mace, pepper spray, tasers and other precautions when going for a jog. You don't have to worry like a woman does. Is this guy more than likely harmless, of course, but as women who deal with living life like this, we have to be overly cautious. Women are always blamed for everything. "She wanted it", "she was dressed scantily" etc. We're always blamed and told it's out fault we're attacked and raped. So yeah, we are paranoid, because god forbid this guy is a sicko and thinks that in her workout clothes, she's trying to seduce him or whatever. We have to be overly cautious because society teaches us that if we aren't, bad things will happen to us and they will be our fault. Be lucky, you can live a much more worry free life.

Go for a jog on the south side of CHicago, I don't care if you are a man or woman, you will feel that way. Its not as if men are impervious to fear. Stop generalizing. Men and boys are victims quite often as well. While I do agree that women may be more at risk, its not as if men never encounter such circumstances.

And live a worry free life, this type of generalization is something to worry about. We can be pegged as a stalker by looking at someone.

I think you should go with your gut, tell someone, and take precautions. If the behavior continues I'm sure the manager could confront the guy and remove his membership if it came to harrassment

I'm not saying men don't have to fear as well but it's not the same as for women. Also, we are generalized as well. If a woman is dressed in a low cut shirt or a mini skirt, she's a slut or a *kitten*. Not all men are skeezy but regardless of all of the generalizations, she doesn't deserve to feel uncomfortable albeit from a man or woman.

this is completely uncalled for. "Constant state of paranoia"? Why?

I certainly don't feel like I am living under these said conditions. I also find it VERY hard to believe that most women live in a "constant state" of PARANIA that men are going to hurt them... That is actually extremely unhealthy if this is the case for you.


ALSO--- YOU CANNOT judge someone's intent of actions or character based on a "VIBE". That is something women really enjoy doing, and they also "stick to their instincts".... but that is not a defense or grounds for a potential bad person.

I'm just gonna tell you that probably 75% of the time at least, GUYS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE EVEN DOING. People sometimes stare off into space, and you happen to be in their way... don't take it so personally....

Sometimes people just happen to be LOOKING IN OUR direction, but that doesn't mean they are going to murder us!!!!

THAT BEING SAID:
I've been followed by a car while jogging (on multiple occasions)
I get "hollered" at DAILY either while i'm running or just walking to school by guys
I get checked out EVERY SINGLE TIME I'm at the gym

Does it make me uncomfortable? Kinda.
Did I die? No.
Am I mentally scared for life? No.

DID I GET OVER IT AND REALIZE THIS STUFF HAPPENS TO PEOPLE ON A DAILY BASIS?!: YES!!!


Women have it hard? I think not. At least we are not constantly accused of being a sexual preditor just because you happened to look in someones direction!!!

Re the DR apt. Good one! Listen to your insticts and be safe!

If you work there maybe you can go up to him and ask him if he is new, or if he needs any help with anything that you would be willing to find someone that can help him?

Kinda just saying I see you see me? But if dont feel safe then you need to make sure you are with a buddy at all times. Good Luck hopefully it's a shy harmless new guy being awkward and not knowing it.

Am I the only person who thinks she (or someone else at the gym) should approach him and engage him in friendly conversation? When I worked retail, they always said that if you see someone acting suspiciously, then you should engage them. It's disarming, lets them know that you've noticed them (and their behavior) and can give you a better read on whether he's a creeper, has some sort of disorder, or is just socially retarded so you can figure out a resolution from there.

Exactly what I was just thinking!

I think talking to him would be a mistake. If he is a stalker he'll take it as a come on. Get one of the men to talk to him and see what he's like.

bisexual? I'd hate to be that guy.

Maybe he was staring at you without knowing he was freaking you out.........now if he was pointing at you, licking his lips,shaking his head up and down, then rubbing his hands together yeah I could see why you're freaked out.

Short and sweet and more so DEAD ON!

I have a wife and I daughter and I know if their "Mr Creepy" meter is going off it's for a good reason. (I think that's nature, not society) Should guys be hauled off because they checked a woman out in the gym? No, but this person followed her. That's a little more than a glance that lasted too long.

I've only been going to my Y for 9 months. But I've been there long enough to know who the regulars are, and know some weird behavior if I saw it. I would imagine after 5 years something like this would stand out.

Tell someone at the Gym because, you never know, she may not be the only one he's followed. I'm sure she won't be the first one to report an aleged creeper. Not like she's calling the police. More people being aware is the first line of defense against crime.