Creepy guy in the weight room advice

13

Replies

  • barbiex3
    barbiex3 Posts: 1,036 Member
    Aren't you a bit too paranoid? I mean he could simply be checking you out or perhaps want to ask for advice but to shy too ask?

    valid point

    Written and validated by guys...


    actualllly i'm validating it...

    So now it's been validated by a woman :D
  • FifiLea
    FifiLea Posts: 80 Member
    Go with your gut. I've had several times where going with my gut has saved me from what would've been a really bad situation.

    As others have said, as women we're brought up to be friendly and obliging and, above all, polite. Generally this is good, but often we let the desire to be nice mask our instincts.

    If he feels creepy, he probably is! And even if he's not, no one is saying attack him! Just be aware, have a back up plan, warn someone you can trust about him and make sure you can feel safe.
  • CJK1959
    CJK1959 Posts: 279 Member
    I would let a supervisor know your concerns, just to be safe. Also, don't leave the gym alone when going to your car. Gut instinct is usually right.
    ^ this....so important...go with your intuition, it could save your life
  • BellySoonGone
    BellySoonGone Posts: 150
    ..maybe he was looking at your perfect exercise form....since you work there and it seems he does not...or maybe he was Canadian - LOL
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member

    Honestly, I don't believe in too much paranoia, it pays to be aware of your surroundings (including people). Too many people are oblivious to their surroundings.

    Hmm...well someone hasnt worked in psychiatry...
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member
    Am I the only person who thinks she (or someone else at the gym) should approach him and engage him in friendly conversation? When I worked retail, they always said that if you see someone acting suspiciously, then you should engage them. It's disarming, lets them know that you've noticed them (and their behavior) and can give you a better read on whether he's a creeper, has some sort of disorder, or is just socially retarded so you can figure out a resolution from there.

    I recommend this tactic. Especially if you teach there / work there. It's kind of your job...
  • mk820
    mk820 Posts: 137 Member
    how about politely telling him you'd appreciate it if he would not stare at you or stand at the door checking out your students while you are teaching? If he is innocent he will be embarrassed, if guilty he will be aware his behavior is noticed.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Am I the only person who thinks she (or someone else at the gym) should approach him and engage him in friendly conversation? When I worked retail, they always said that if you see someone acting suspiciously, then you should engage them. It's disarming, lets them know that you've noticed them (and their behavior) and can give you a better read on whether he's a creeper, has some sort of disorder, or is just socially retarded so you can figure out a resolution from there.

    I recommend this tactic. Especially if you teach there / work there. It's kind of your job...
    I interact with as many people as possible when I'm at the club and the opportunity presents itself. Unfortunately, as I was already yelling at 20 women in the front of a room when I realized he had followed us upstairs and down the hall way the I was not served with the opportunity to say "may I help you."
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member

    I interact with as many people as possible when I'm at the club and the opportunity presents itself. Unfortunately, as I was already yelling at 20 women in the front of a room when I realized he had followed us upstairs and down the hall way the I was not served with the opportunity to say "may I help you."

    Right, but in the future, rather than letting supervisor know that he looks like a creep...maybe you should reach out to him
  • HOSED49
    HOSED49 Posts: 642 Member
    So its a creepy situation yes, we all have that internal alarm about people. Things to consider, you work there, find out how long he has bee an member, maybe his schedule has recently changed which would explain why he is there now. Do other employees know him and get the same vibe. Has he had any prior complaints made. Are there video cameras in the facility. Maybe management can review his actions, is he standing around the womens locker room, does he normally play racquetball or has he just stood around by your studio room watching others prior to your incident. Do they know if he is mentally ill, find out about him..the people up front or in the classes should know of him or have experienced the same if he is truly creeping. Are there cameras in the parking lot, obviously at night dont walk out alone, look in and under your vehcile prior to entry...tell the people up front your leaving, do they see him follow you out or has he recently left. Carry one of your keys extended between your fingers..
    Hopefully it is nothing but even if they find him at fault and kick him out, will he blame you and seek revenge...all this is to air on the side of caution...maybe he's not a creeper , but until proven otherwise...be safe.
  • sarahkatara
    sarahkatara Posts: 826 Member
    Aren't you a bit too paranoid? I mean he could simply be checking you out or perhaps want to ask for advice but to shy too ask?

    Um, no. I'd love to think the world works that way but it really doesn't. Report it to your supervisor and if you see him again acting oddly, call security or your manager and have them help you assess the situation. Always walk to your car with someone else and carry something to protect yourself. I personally carry a small can of mace (pepper spray). Nothing that would kill someone but it's a protective measure. you're not paranoid. this isn't the 50s where you could leave your front door unlocked and let your kids wander for the whole day! unfortunately people (women especially) have to watch out for their own safety. No one else will.
    Be safe and keep up what sounds like some great work!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member

    I interact with as many people as possible when I'm at the club and the opportunity presents itself. Unfortunately, as I was already yelling at 20 women in the front of a room when I realized he had followed us upstairs and down the hall way the I was not served with the opportunity to say "may I help you."

    Right, but in the future, rather than letting supervisor know that he looks like a creep...maybe you should reach out to him
    Um where did I say that I talked to anyone about it? I said that for the first time in 5 years I've found myself uncomfortable with a guy in the gym, one time isn't a trend, but I am seeking advice should I find a situation like this lending itself to a trend.
  • everydaypam
    everydaypam Posts: 90 Member
    It is one thing to have a guy throw glances your way or "check you out" while they are in the same vicinity. It's a whole other thing to find that they have then showed up at a second location to continue looking again. If it is just a quick glance through the window, fine. But it sounds like it was a bit more than that.

    This isn't a matter of saying that all guys who look at you are creepy. There is a different feeling that you get when you just know something is different and it's always worth acknowledging those feelings. I have had too many friends put in bad situations when ignoring these so called vibes.

    If you see that guy again let someone (another instructor, a student you trust) know that he makes you uncomfortable and that you don't want to be alone because of that feeling. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to feel comfortable in your work place or your gym.
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member

    Um where did I say that I talked to anyone about it? I said that for the first time in 5 years I've found myself uncomfortable with a guy in the gym, one time isn't a trend, but I am seeking advice should I find a situation like this lending itself to a trend.

    Ya didnt, but a lot of people recommended it. I'm saying that, if it were me, I'd engage him before telling any kind of manager or whatever. No need to be defensive. I hear ya...after all, I went to school with this guy:

    http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaking_news/2010/08/accused_craigsl_2.html
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    I'd tell staff about him as a precaution, but if I saw him again and was in the gym I'd approach him. See if he needs anything. That creepy guy might just be socially awkward and thinks he knows you from some where. As long as you are in gym and have your partner/buddy with you I'd talk to him.

    I would defiantly let the staff at the gym know. You should always try to be safe than sorry. I wouldn't have them push the matter til it becomes a bit more of a habit or you have talked to the guy personally.
  • jtsmou
    jtsmou Posts: 503 Member
    I was physically attacked by some body builders at a gym because I "Looked Creepy"

    I don't go to gyms now, and I wont either
  • pilotgirl2007
    pilotgirl2007 Posts: 368 Member
    I hate to say it but there is nothing you can do about it. I have a similar problem and this guy follows me from club to club.. I have reported it finally and I was told that until he does something then they can't do anything because he pays to be there. It is very irritating that someone can opening follow you from club to club just to "watch" you
  • bllowry
    bllowry Posts: 239 Member
    I worked in hospital for many years and encountered all sorts there; I'd say go with your instincts. I'm in Real Estate now; several years ago a very well dressed man came in to our office and asked to speak to an agent and since I was the 'agent on call' I was paged to reception. I met with the man and found him extremely disconcerting even though he was expensively dressed and seemed well educated; I can't really describe the feeling, but bells and alarms were going off in my head. I agreed to show him a home a five minute drive from our office, and excused my self to 'print out the showing instructions and get my things'. I asked a very tall male agent to drive us there, explaining I was getting a bad feeling from the guy, but if he was legit I didn't want to offend him. Upon returning to the meeting room I introduced my colleague explaining I'd had an eye exam that morning and my eyes were still dilated so my fellow agent would be driving. The man couldn't get out of the office fast enough. It was odd enough I registered an alert with our Board of Realtors as he'd let me copy his driving license. Three months later he was arrested after raping and rather brutally assaulting a Builder's employee in a Model home; he wasn't aware there was a security camera and was on film or they wouldn't have caught him at all.

    Go with your guts; its far easier to recover from embarassment than assault.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    One thing you could do is take a picture of him..let him see you do it. That way you don't have to interact but he will see you seeing him for sure and will know that his behavior has been noted. And if he's *not* a real creeper, chances are he will approach you after that hint and give up his agenda/malfunction. If he is a creeper, he'll probably vanish.

    If you're hanging around at the gym staring at women, you're either a creeper or a douche. Either way, I have no sympathy. It's one thing to look, make eye contact, then move on. Quite another to just STARE.
  • MikeSEA
    MikeSEA Posts: 1,074 Member
    One thing you could do is take a picture of him..let him see you do it. That way you don't have to interact but he will see you seeing him for sure and will know that his behavior has been noted. And if he's *not* a real creeper, chances are he will approach you after that hint and give up his agenda/malfunction. If he is a creeper, he'll probably vanish.

    If you're hanging around at the gym staring at women, you're either a creeper or a douche. Either way, I have no sympathy. It's one thing to look, make eye contact, then move on. Quite another to just STARE.

    I assume you'd have no problem with him taking a picture of the creepy person who's taking a picture of him, then. It seems completely appropriate. Or would that be too creepy?
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    One thing you could do is take a picture of him..let him see you do it. That way you don't have to interact but he will see you seeing him for sure and will know that his behavior has been noted. And if he's *not* a real creeper, chances are he will approach you after that hint and give up his agenda/malfunction. If he is a creeper, he'll probably vanish.

    If you're hanging around at the gym staring at women, you're either a creeper or a douche. Either way, I have no sympathy. It's one thing to look, make eye contact, then move on. Quite another to just STARE.

    I assume you'd have no problem with him taking a picture of the creepy person who's taking a picture of him, then. It seems completely appropriate. Or would that be too creepy?
    I agree, I would never just randomly walk up to him or anyone else and take a picture, that is really weird to me, and highly inappropriate.
  • pilotgirl2007
    pilotgirl2007 Posts: 368 Member
    Most clubs have it in their policy that no photography is allowed... just saying : ) so if you can get him to take a pic of you then you can report him and all is solved lol
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
    Just maize him
  • dshalbert
    dshalbert Posts: 677 Member
    I personally don't see blatantly staring and following you from one area of the gym to another to stand in the doorway and blatantly stare again as the behavior of a shy and socially awkward person. Seems like rather aggressive and intimidating behavior. I don’t think I’d engage this guy with conversation. As one poster said, he may read into this as you being ok okay with this behavior and step it up a notch.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    One thing you could do is take a picture of him..let him see you do it. That way you don't have to interact but he will see you seeing him for sure and will know that his behavior has been noted. And if he's *not* a real creeper, chances are he will approach you after that hint and give up his agenda/malfunction. If he is a creeper, he'll probably vanish.

    If you're hanging around at the gym staring at women, you're either a creeper or a douche. Either way, I have no sympathy. It's one thing to look, make eye contact, then move on. Quite another to just STARE.

    I assume you'd have no problem with him taking a picture of the creepy person who's taking a picture of him, then. It seems completely appropriate. Or would that be too creepy?

    I have done this several times in my apt complex...I take pictures of anyone who seems to be lurking around, and I photograph their license plates as well. It's not "randomly" walking up to someone...it's a reaction to someone who is already treading a thin line regarding personal privacy.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    Just maize him

    I don't have maize . . . but I do have sweet potatoes, herbs, banana peppers, and tomatoes that have been hanging on the vine a little to long . . . I think I'll go with the tomatoes.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    So, here is yet another perspective. There was a WOMAN at my gym, who obviously just wasn't RIGHT. She would come to group fitness classes, then do her own workout in there. I don't mean modification, I mean her OWN workout. But I never paid attention, other than to think she was weird. Until I was the only person in the locker room, in the shower, and heard her fighting...with no one. She was threatening to kill someone, yelling...not on a bluetooth either. I used to work with people with psychiatric disorders, so I got dressed, and got out of there soaking wet. Turns out, she was schizophrenic, and they let her hang around to be nice. I wouldn't have known if I hadn't reported it. They notified her family she was off her meds, never saw her again. You tell the supervisor EXACTLY what happened, as well as the intangibles that made you feel off-kilter. You give a full description of his appearance and clothing. That's your right. Don't approach him, it may just encourage him.
  • ShapeUpSidney
    ShapeUpSidney Posts: 1,092 Member

    I have done this several times in my apt complex...I take pictures of anyone who seems to be lurking around, and I photograph their license plates as well. It's not "randomly" walking up to someone...it's a reaction to someone who is already treading a thin line regarding personal privacy.

    You sound like a real peach. I hear they have some openings at the DHS...
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    Oh...and do it in WRITING. For several reasons. So many stories begin, "we all thought he was little weird, but we never thought...". As for my report, I walked out of the locker room fully dressed and soaked and said: "There is a lady in there with this description. She is threatening the air to buck somebody up. I KNOW she doesn't mean me, but I am the only person in there. If she comes anywhere close to me with that, she is gonna find what she AIN'T looking for. Better handle it."
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
    Actually the last time I was in a gym, there was this older lady" working out". She 1/2 *kitten* the weights around just to be around some of the younger guys (my guess anyway). Apparently I was the best thing going that morning (free weight room was almost empty haha!). Suddenly she just so happens to be doing "her workout" right next to me. I was going "wtf"? I just ignored her.

    Next time I see her, I'm lighting her up with the maize.
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