Want to hear your opinion on this

ninerbuff
ninerbuff Posts: 48,973 Member
edited October 3 in Chit-Chat
We signed my daughter up for an extra curricular class once a week. There's about 15 students in the class and all parents are required to provide snacks on a designated week. So when the instructor mailed out the schedule for the parents, one parent responded by letting everyone know that her child is allergic to Macadamia nuts and some other foods with nuts in them.
So my wife and I discussed it and are in disagreement about what should be done. IMO, if a child could have an issue with food allergies, the parent of that child should make the snack for that child and not rely on whether or not other parents in the class go out and buy the right snack that won't affect her child. If it were my child with the issue, I wouldn't take the chance.
My wife disagree and says that she did the right thing by letting us know and that we should comply to keep the child safe. There are many options that can be got for snacks and shouldn't be a big deal to shop for them.

So what do you think? Oh and I'm not gonna "rub it in" if more people agree with me. I'm just curious to see if I'm off base.
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Replies

  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    I don't see any real issue.

    You were notified of a possible danger, and I'm sure the girl knows what to eat.
  • SarahNicole317
    SarahNicole317 Posts: 302 Member
    I'm with your wife. Otherwise the child will feel like the oddball. What"s the big deal?
  • kylee_marie
    kylee_marie Posts: 299 Member
    you both have good points but i can say that as a mother, if my child had a nut allergy (which are usually pretty severe) i would never just trust that because i sent out a message, that everyone would pay attention to it. i would always provide my own snacks..i wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone but more importantly, i would want to keep my child safe!
  • jedi9393
    jedi9393 Posts: 121
    i agree with you. No way am I gonna leave the safety of my child in the hands of others!! What if someone forgets and depending on the age of the kid, they can be very irresponsible. If my kid had an allergy I would make sure that he had the right snacks and let everyone know.

    Some people have allergies that just cause a mild reaction, but some people can be hospitilized and even die. No way, thats whats wrong wtih people now days. You cant expect others to nanny your children or look out for their welfare like you would.
  • mmmichelle8486
    mmmichelle8486 Posts: 269 Member
    As a parent you would say that you would rather pack for your child and have them be safe, which is understandable. However, how would your child feel being the only one in the group that is singled out and cannot enjoy the common snack for the day? For fairness, and equality for that child, you should really prepare a snack that is safe for all. They did the right thing by alerting parents of any known allergies, and parents should all respect that so all the children are included. :)
  • epoeraven
    epoeraven Posts: 458 Member
    I'm with your wife. Otherwise the child will feel like the oddball. What"s the big deal?

    Agree. As long as you know in advance, you can plan accordingly.
  • RachelT14
    RachelT14 Posts: 266 Member
    My son has some food allergies as well as being vegetarian (which sometimes causes problems as not everybody knows about gelatine etc being unsuitable) If i was in a situation like that i know i would prefer to provide a snack for him every week to make sure he was safe, and also be happy to provide a snack on my designated week for all the kids as requested.

    When they have a party at school i am always asked to pop in and check all the food packages to make sure they know which things, if any, he needs to avoid.
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    I've worked in kitchens my whole life. Nuts, garlic, soy etc are usual ones so I'm used to it.

    It's resonsible of them to aware everyone ahead of time. It's safer if NOBODY has food with the allergens inside.

    Depending on the age group, they could swap snacks, or cross-contamination could happen. Even sharing a drink, table, napkin..water fountain, etc...could cause something, if someone has something on their hands.

    Therefore I'm gonna say its important that no food with that ever really turn up in that class.

    That being said, then its fair for everyone, and they should prepare food as they normally would, not the individuals parents making a special snack.

    Also, there's a lot of trust and responsibility in allowing other parents to make food for your children. Regardless of their eating habits or allergies.

    Nuts is an easy one though. You're lucky its not soy or gluten, then it'd be a stretch to find products and ingredients without them.
  • mytwobabies
    mytwobabies Posts: 113 Member
    I agree with your wife. Being a preschool teacher we do exactly what was done. Parents bring snack for the whole class and we let them know if there are any allergies to keep in mind.
  • orhstay87
    orhstay87 Posts: 28
    If I were you, I would just go ahead and comply. How hard can it be to find a snack without nuts in it? BUT, if I were the mother, I'd send a snack with my child just in case someone did send something she couldn't eat.
  • melissabell1984
    melissabell1984 Posts: 35
    This is a tough one ... I agree with both of you ... by being able to partake of what everyone else is, it will make the child feel less centered out, but as the parent, I would bring a back up snack, just in case. These parents have to be 'on' all the time in their daily lives with the allergies that I think it would be less one thing to worry about for them if everyone pitched in to work together. :-)
  • CronoCX
    CronoCX Posts: 59 Member
    Sounds like a touchy subject but, honestly it shouldn't be a big deal. If the the other student that is allergic and knows he/she is allergic to macadamia's then their shouldn't be a problem. Just if anything don't give your daughter with anything with macadamia's so she won't share it. I'm sure if the kids are old enough, they should be able to understand! Wish you luck!
  • scrapendipity
    scrapendipity Posts: 1
    No question, I wouldn't take chances if it were my kid and would make her own snack if she had special food requirements.
  • AdrienneKaren
    AdrienneKaren Posts: 168 Member
    I'm with your wife. It's not like there aren't a thousand other foods to take for snack time. Fruits and vegetables are healthy and generally allergy free.
  • Mom2rh
    Mom2rh Posts: 612 Member
    How hard is it, really, to accommodate that request? Seriously, bring fresh fruit and cheese on your appointed week. Healthy. No allergens. Easy. It sounds like you don't want to do it just because you were asked. Why?
  • AI1108
    AI1108 Posts: 488 Member
    Yeah I think it's one of those gray areas in life. You could play nice and just get a snack that the child can also have or decide to not give a hoot and bring a snack that she'd be allergic to and tell her its not your fault she's allergic. To me, the fact that the parent responded was a request to keep her child in mind. I'd personally just be like sure whatever and bring something that she can enjoy as well.
  • LaComadreja14
    LaComadreja14 Posts: 277 Member
    I have to say I agree with you: her kid, her responsibility.

    Not to mention, if I were her I would not put my kids health in anyone elses hands.

    My dog, for instance, is one of my 5 furkids (as I dont have skin kids) and he is allergic to nearly everything, therefore- If I can't take him with me on vacation, I don't go on vacation because I dont expect anyone to pick up slack on it. I choose to get a dog, I have to take care of him. I have to make sure that he is safe and healthy because he is my responsibility- no one elses.
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  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    I work in a school with special education students who all have food allergies of one sort or another.. So heres my take on it.

    I personally think that the parent should be the one buying the snack for the child, because the parent and the parent only knows for sure what the child can have. If the parent decides that others can buy/bring a snack for the child, then the parent should read all ingredients to make sure there is no cross contamination or anything before the child eats it, even if it is a food that the parent has previously deemed safe.
  • aliciagetshealthy
    aliciagetshealthy Posts: 946 Member
    you both have good points but i can say that as a mother, if my child had a nut allergy (which are usually pretty severe) i would never just trust that because i sent out a message, that everyone would pay attention to it. i would always provide my own snacks..i wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone but more importantly, i would want to keep my child safe!

    This!
  • AHealthierRhonda
    AHealthierRhonda Posts: 881 Member
    The mom should let it be known so hopefully no one packs their child any sort of nut to eat. Some children can't even be in the same room with them if the allergy is severe enough. As a mom I would ahve done the same thing, but I would also make sure my child had thier own snack to eat if there was a concern about the snack provided. This is what most parents do. The good news for this child is, how many kids actually want something with macadamia nuts in it?? This mom is just trying to be sure everyone is aware of the danger to her child as she should.
  • MsKekeSoFocused
    MsKekeSoFocused Posts: 383 Member
    As a parent you would say that you would rather pack for your child and have them be safe, which is understandable. However, how would your child feel being the only one in the group that is singled out and cannot enjoy the common snack for the day? For fairness, and equality for that child, you should really prepare a snack that is safe for all. They did the right thing by alerting parents of any known allergies, and parents should all respect that so all the children are included. :)

    Agree
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    If there weren't thousands of different snack choices, I might agree with you.

    There are so many items that are nut-free, I think you should be considerate of this child's allergies. Be happy that you child has no such allergies and provide snacks that everyone enjoys.

    How you you like your child to be singled out in the same circumstances and have to eat the snacks his/her parent's provided rather than sharing the same snacks as the other kids.

    As a child, it is important to be part of the group. Relax. There are plenty of opportunities to battle on more important issues. I agree with your wife.
  • bizco
    bizco Posts: 1,949 Member
    I agree with you. As the parent I would take the responsibilty to ensure my child was safe. Plus I wouldn't burden other parents with the added responsibility.
  • kb455
    kb455 Posts: 679 Member
    I'm siding with your wife. I knew a kid who was so allergic to peanuts that he couldn't' be in the same room with other kids who were eating peanut butter. If it were me who had the child with the allergy, I would hope the other parents would comply. After all, whats the big deal with all the parents buying nut-free snacks?
  • fat_tastic
    fat_tastic Posts: 42
    i do believe the childs mom should provide nut free snacks but so should all the other parents. Children will not always make the right decision not to eat something when all the other kids are and it looks good. The some children have such a severe allergy that they do not have to just ingest nuts to have some sort of allergic reaction. I would like to think if it were your child you would like for the other parents to be a little more compassionate even though they don't have too.
  • sjcply
    sjcply Posts: 817 Member
    Im with your wife! In my daughters class we have achild allergic to peanuts, and EVERY parent in the class knows to bring snacks without peanuts. It is hard for everyone else....but if it were your child with the allergy wouldnt you want all the other parents to know and help make sure that your child doesnt get sick from eating the wrong food!
  • smketchum
    smketchum Posts: 94 Member
    I don't think purchasing snacks with no nuts in them is a big deal....however if it were my child, I would not take a risk either. I would bring snacks that I knew were safe for my child, because the thing is....it's MY child and it's my responsibility to not only protect them and provide for them, but if they do have a food allergy to educate them so that they know what foods are safe and are not.

    I don't know if this input is valuable or not, but I think you and your wife both have good points and I can see validity on both sides.

    Signed,
    Sweden :)
  • malaika1981
    malaika1981 Posts: 49 Member
    My nephew has a ton of allergies! He is 8 years old but knows what to ask about and what to look for. However after having someone in the family with allergies we are aware of what to make him/what not to. I think its kind to be respectful of the little childs allergies as its hard enough living with them. Everytime my nephew goes to a bday party they have pizza and cake (which he cant eat either of) he gets upset from time to time because he is always left out. If there is a way to make everyone feel included why not?
  • MamaBear57
    MamaBear57 Posts: 336 Member
    I would not take that chance and would provide a snack in her/his things. I would not rely on other parents doing it since often the product is labeled way down in the ingrediates. Parents of children with no allegies may forget when picking something up from the store to look.

    My daughter can not have large amounts of Milk or ice cream. It will upset her stomach. So when they have events I take sherbet for her to have. (not such a big thing now that she is not little, when she was in daycare it was a huge thing) She would tell the teachers no I cannot have that it will hurt me. She was 3.
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