Do you have separate bank accounts or pool your money?

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  • Punkedpoetess
    Punkedpoetess Posts: 633 Member
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    Wow. I am always surprised that couples split money. That seems so weird and foreign to me. My husband and I have a few accounts and they are all OUR accounts. There is no such thing in our house as your money and my money, I do not think I could marry a man who proposed such an idea, honestly.

    It is not always the man who proposes that idea. In our case it was my idea and I definately have my reasons for intially proposing keeping the money separate. I have seen couples fight about this stuff, including my mom and her ex-husband. I also have been burned to a small degree pre-marriage in this area. It works for some to keep it together, but for us separate money is working out great. I figure we are both responsible adults and we both earn our money. Both ways can work, depends on the couple.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    Married 2 years and we keep them separate. We each pay certain bills and if we need combine for something, we do it as needed. Our names are on each others accounts for emergency purposes only..

    I balance my checkbook and he doesn't, and neither us needs to justify the $10 here or there, or worry about overdrafts because we didn't know about a debit card purchase. It works great and I'd never want to change it.

    Joint accounts seems so "1950's" to me...
  • anewattitude
    anewattitude Posts: 483 Member
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    Wow. I am always surprised that couples split money. That seems so weird and foreign to me. My husband and I have a few accounts and they are all OUR accounts. There is no such thing in our house as your money and my money, I do not think I could marry a man who proposed such an idea, honestly.



    Well I can't speak for anyone else but my fiance and I still have separate accounts but we treat the money as " ours".. if that makes sense. We have only lived together since this May and we are still adjusting to the new house and everything but we don't keep separate accounts because of trust issues. In fact, he gave me $100 the other day to deposit in one of my accounts and I asked him why not in his own ( because I felt guilty) and he said its "our" money. It was really sweet so I put it towards the trip account since we are going away next Month and again in March. Everyone needs to stick with what works for them.
  • magichatter06
    magichatter06 Posts: 3,593 Member
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    Always separate. No ifs ands or buts.... I get it from seeing my sister's relationship ...join account & it's all HIS money even though she slaves at work. What's mine is mine and his is his. I just couldn't see having one account...it just bothers me.

    To each their own!:drinker:
  • calibri
    calibri Posts: 439 Member
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    Wow. I am always surprised that couples split money. That seems so weird and foreign to me. My husband and I have a few accounts and they are all OUR accounts. There is no such thing in our house as your money and my money, I do not think I could marry a man who proposed such an idea, honestly.
    We're not married and have no plans to change that. I would insist on maintaining separate accounts even if we were married; the reality is most marriages end up in divorce. I don't think we are special or unique in some way that that may not happen; I am painfully aware of the capacity of people to change and the effect that has on their relationships, especially as they get older (and we're only mid 20s). Anything to reduce the messiness later is nothing but a benefit to me.

    I would never marry anyone who insisted I join accounts with them. I'm a control freak and I would never let myself be so vulnerable; when my parents were divorced, my mum had to scrape everything together from having nothing. I guess you really have to see someone's life and financial health be destroyed by divorce to understand or appreciate the gravity of that situation. I would be interested in seeing the relationship between people have experienced a divorce first hand as a participant or child and whether they keep single or separate accounts.
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
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    We have pooled since getting married/buying a house, BUT had a lot of conversations about money, lifestyle, debt, and investing before doing any of that.

    It really depends upon whether your spending habits are aligned and what the trust level is. If they are not aligned or the trust level is lacking (or has been damaged....), keep separate accounts and get a pre-nuptial (or post-nuptial) agreement so that no one is left holding the bag from someone else's money habits.
  • JAllen32
    JAllen32 Posts: 991 Member
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    We are a seperate account couple aswell. We lived together for 7 years before deciding to get married(both divorced). So we always had seperate accounts and it worked, so we kept it that way. He has always made more money so he has the household bills and most of the grocieries. Plus pays 90% of the time when we shop or eat out together. I pay our cell bill, and pick up things we need here and there, and pay all my bills(credit cards, student loans, car, gas.). He helps me out if I am short. Plus I pay for most of our daughters things. Sports fees, clothes, lunch money. I am very strict with my balancing and ledgering my checkbook. He just keeps a running total in his head. Lol never writes anything down! But never goes overdrawn. Its nuts. I couldnt handle trying to split an account with him! His brother once told us we "didnt act married" because we didnt have joint accounts. RUDE. Id like to show him this post so he can see how close minded he is being and that we are not a minority!

    Also, my hubby and I never fight about money. Him and his wife have screaming matches. If thats "acting married", no thanks! Looks like they could learn a thing or two from us! Haha!
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    I am married and we both keep separate bank accounts and each have designated bills that we pay. Rent we split 50/50 on and the others have a designated person to pay that bill. Since I make more money, I have more of the bills and pay for most of our food. Works for us, since we both are responsible with money.
    This makes total sense. Ditto!
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    My bf and I have separate (but that's only because we haven't got round to getting a joint, and then transferring all the bills to come out that account)
    All our money goes towards all the bills, and then what's left we split. Some bills come out mine, and some from his, but we know how much is for ourselves. We like it this way, none of us gets left out if one earns more than the other as we both get the same after bills, but also none of us feel bad if we go out and spend all our money on what the other would see as useless crap.

    I'm hoping sometime in the near future we'll get a joint one sorted out, just because it makes it easier having just 1 account for bills, and our own for our spending.
  • wifeygonzo
    wifeygonzo Posts: 287 Member
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    One account. I've always made more than my wife, and now that she is a stay at home mom, that goes double. Didn't seem fair to me to share everything else in life, but keep "my money" and "her money".

    We never have had a disagreement about money, or what to buy, in twenty years of marriage.

    Yep, one account. Been together 17 years & married for 15.5. Practically from the day he asked me to marry him we have had a joint account. Don't believe in his & hers! Works for us. :-D


    Ditto except we've been married 18.5 years and didn't get a joint account until after we were married.

    Same here, my husband and I have been married for 10 years. We set up a joint account as soon as we were married. Even if my husband get a bonus at work, he considers it "our bonus" since he needs my support at home to get through the tough times at work.
  • meggers123
    meggers123 Posts: 711 Member
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    seperate. we go 50-50 on our bills... well, he pays them and I transfer money to him. Shopping and stuff we will alternate who pays, depending on who is going shopping, or has cash on them (we pay cash for almost everything).

    We both work, and both choose what we spend out money on. If we go on vacation, we'll split the costs, or I'll pay the hotel and him the other stuff.... it all seems to work out.

    edit: i have nothing again sharing, but it would drive me crazy cause I'm a bit controlling. lol.
  • VulcanLover
    VulcanLover Posts: 53
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    Wow. I am always surprised that couples split money. That seems so weird and foreign to me. My husband and I have a few accounts and they are all OUR accounts. There is no such thing in our house as your money and my money, I do not think I could marry a man who proposed such an idea, honestly.
    We're not married and have no plans to change that. I would insist on maintaining separate accounts even if we were married; the reality is most marriages end up in divorce. I don't think we are special or unique in some way that that may not happen; I am painfully aware of the capacity of people to change and the effect that has on their relationships, especially as they get older (and we're only mid 20s). Anything to reduce the messiness later is nothing but a benefit to me.

    I would never marry anyone who insisted I join accounts with them. I'm a control freak and I would never let myself be so vulnerable; when my parents were divorced, my mum had to scrape everything together from having nothing. I guess you really have to see someone's life and financial health be destroyed by divorce to understand or appreciate the gravity of that situation. I would be interested in seeing the relationship between people have experienced a divorce first hand as a participant or child and whether they keep single or separate accounts.
    Wow. This is appalling to me. Sorry--but to be in your twenties and think about divorce--I'd say do not get married. Then again, we do not view divorce as an option and act accordingly. Luckily, I come from a long line of happily married people--all of whom had several JOINT accounts. To me, keeping money seperate--is not marriage.
  • bluegirl10
    bluegirl10 Posts: 695 Member
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    We used to have separate accounts when we were dating, but once we got married he consolidated into one account.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    I wonder if separate account people have fewer fights about money than the joint-account crowd?

    In this day and age of direct deposit and debit card use for almost everything, I sure as heck wouldn't want to have to notify my husband every time I get gas, lunch, or any other little minor purchase with my debit card, and certainly don't need to know where every penny of his money goes. It sounds tedious!
  • ABetterBalance
    ABetterBalance Posts: 298
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    We have always had a joint account.

    We never talked about finances before we got married, and have been figuring it out as we go along. In the beginning we just assumed that married couples shared a bank account. (We were pretty young!) Looking back, I wish we had thought to maintain seperate bank accounts and just split bills in some way. At this point, things are too twisted up to even begin the process of seperating them, but I would like to do that in the future.
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    I wonder if separate account people have fewer fights about money than the joint-account crowd?

    In this day and age of direct deposit and debit card use for almost everything, I sure as heck wouldn't want to have to notify my husband every time I get gas, lunch, or any other little minor purchase with my debit card, and certainly don't need to know where every penny of his money goes. It sounds tedious!

    I guess if both parties are responsible and careful with the money, it shouldn't make much difference between separate and joint. :) The problem becomes serious if one is not.
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
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    My partner and I have lived together for 9 years and have a 6 yr old daughter (and I have 2 other children). I make 3x what he does, but it all goes into one big pot from which everything is paid. We each get a couple of dollars a week for pocket change. I prepare a budget with financial status and goals and we discuss any changes or major purchases.

    It works MUCH better than my marriage where we each kept our own cash and contributed X dollars a month to the household accopunt to pay the bills. I ended up footing the bill for all the extras for all three kids, such as Christmas presents, doctors/meds, haircuts, etc. Conveniently, they were MY kids when those bills rolled around, whereas his cash went to toys like HIS racecar and HIS show cars and HIS tools and HIS stereos, etc. And when he would get fired, I ended up supporting everyone for long periods.

    Crock of BS that was. :explode:
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    I wonder if separate account people have fewer fights about money than the joint-account crowd?

    In this day and age of direct deposit and debit card use for almost everything, I sure as heck wouldn't want to have to notify my husband every time I get gas, lunch, or any other little minor purchase with my debit card, and certainly don't need to know where every penny of his money goes. It sounds tedious!

    I guess if both parties are responsible and careful with the money, it shouldn't make much difference between separate and joint. :) The problem becomes serious if one is not.

    Good point...in my situation, we each pay certain household bills, and both have good credit. If that started to fall by the wayside, we might fight more about it, but neither us are the type to let things slide. We were older when we got married and each owned our own homes...we sure as heck wern't going to start accounting to someone else for every little day to day purchase. We still view things as "our house", "our boat", "our cars", regardless of whose name is on the title or loan, etc.....and back each other up if we need to cover an unexpected bill, but separate accounts work really well right now.
  • calibri
    calibri Posts: 439 Member
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    Wow. This is appalling to me. Sorry--but to be in your twenties and think about divorce--I'd say do not get married. Then again, we do not view divorce as an option and act accordingly. Luckily, I come from a long line of happily married people--all of whom had several JOINT accounts. To me, keeping money seperate--is not marriage.
    I'm not planning on getting divorced (heck, not even planning on getting and am not married), but it's silly to pretend everyone who gets married is married for forever. I also think marriage extends outside of 'keeping money separate'. Guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

    I've never had a fight over money.
  • albayin
    albayin Posts: 2,524 Member
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    Good point...in my situation, we each pay certain household bills, and both have good credit. If that started to fall by the wayside, we might fight more about it, but neither us are the type to let things slide. We were older when we got married and each owned our own homes...we sure as heck wern't going to start accounting to someone else for every little day to day purchase. We still view things as "our house", "our boat", "our cars", regardless of whose name is on the title or loan, etc.....and back each other up if we need to cover an unexpected bill, but separate accounts work really well right now.

    Yeah! So I always think it shouldn't be one way better than the other. Whatever works for us should the best way. :)

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