Horrifying(funny) moments as parents

We took our 8 year old son to the drive in and the mosquitos were really bad, so we were coating him with bug spray. He had brought two balls to play with in the grass. After I was done putting on the spray I went back to the car to put it away when my son yelled at me, "Mom, don't forget to spray my balls!"

Once my husband and I recovered, I explained that his balls didn't need spraying... :laugh:

I have many tales, but the one that I will share is this, two girls then a boy, all close together. One day it;s quiet, too quiet, so I make my way to the playroom and discover the girls have pinned their little brother down and were making a good go at cutting off his penis....I had to take him to hospital, but he was OK, luckily they were only allowed those plastic scissors. Apparently they thought that everyone was born with a 'willy' and if you wanted a girl, you just cut it off. They wanted him to be a girl, he seemed to agree. None of them were over 5 at the time.

LMAO These are all so funny.

I've had nothing too horrific with my son so far (he's just turned 4)

On a plane last year when we were waiting to get out of our seats to take him to the toilet: "Mammy, that OLD lady is very fat, we have to wait for her to move first!" :noway: :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed: :embarassed:
The lady in question was probably only about 60, and really not that much larger than myself, I'd be a UK 16-18, she was maybe a 24. I was HORRIFIED! :laugh:

Another one, and really I don't know why it was so terrible because it's just kids, but we were playing "I spy" on the bus, and he was too young to understand "begins with" so we were playing by the rules of "something that is x colour". I said black, I meant the bars to hold on to on the bus. My son's immediate answer was "The lady, mammy!!!!" Now obviously he was correct, and there was nothing at all wrong with what he'd said, but in that very moment all I could think was ":noway: EEK!!!!! What do I say?!"

This is one of the most recent that comes to mind:

My husband had said sh** in front of our three daughters. My 5 year old started repeating it over and over. My 8 year old asked, What does that mean? My 5 year old said, it means Dad forgot something.

For the first week of term my 4 year old said his best friend was the boy with the fat head! We explained that it might be a good idea to find out his name instead, but it was an excellent description because I knew who he meant as soon as I met him :laugh:

Fortunately the boy's mum never heard him say it, but she told me her son can't remember names either. I suspect my son may be known as 'the boy who never shuts up'!

I've got so many, but I'm gonna go way back. When my 12 year old was only a week old, I was nursing her in the recliner. I was so exhausted, I dosed off. I woke up to hearing my baby hit the floor face first!!! Luckily, it was thick carpeting and she didn't even wake up until I grabbed her in horror.

First some back story: My husband and I were married at very young ages. I was 18, he was 22. We would always say "move your fat *kitten*" instead of "excuse me".

When our oldest was 3 (she's 21 now) we were grocery shopping in a very old and small store. We came around the corner and there was a rather large woman who had her cart sideways and there was no way past her in the aisle. My husband and I looked at eachother, rolled our eyes and appearantly our daughter who sitting in the cart facing us saw this. Just when I was going to say "excuse me" to her, sweet little angelic 3 yo turns around and says "Lady, MOVE YOUR FAT *kitten*". Hubby starts laughing so hard he promptly walks away leaving me alone, trying to apologize to the lady. I was 24 by then, and luckily realized that children are sponges and they hear and immitate EVERYTHING! We re-thought our strategy about how we should say things to each other.


But boy oh boy I cannot wait until she has children of her own! I'm gonna be teaching them some interesting stuff!

OK, I’m not a parent, but a teacher. Had I been the parent in this situation I would have stepped in front of a bus and left my child to fend for himself.

We took a class of mixed-aged grade school kids to the Denver Mint on a field trip once. This class was a group of students with emotional challenges. The cutest little 6 or 7 year old boy you’ve ever laid eyes on had a meltdown just before the tour was over. Normal so far. But his meltdown included screaming at the top of his lungs in language that would make a sailor blush, mostly directed at the African-American security guard, including uncountable f-ing N*&#rs. Old building, marble halls, endless echoes. I’ve worked with emotionally challenged teenagers for years and I’ve seen just about everything, but this little guy shocked me to death. I was so embarrassed, not to mention a little curious about the environment he was being raised in. I can’t imagine what it would have been like if his parents would have been there instead of me.

Last yr we took our 2 kids to Negril for a holiday. Our 4 yr old son asked us (infront of the meal servers) why all of these chocolate people don't melt in the hot sun! OMG what do you say to that! Horrible!