Edward Cullen's ashes - RIP

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2

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  • juleseybaby
    juleseybaby Posts: 712 Member
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    Dear Twilight fans,


    Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.


    Sincerely, Logic

    Dear Logic,
    Obviously you've never heard of Rigor mortis.

    Sincerely,
    Never seen twilight or a vampire, just saying

    Could be totally fake... but I thought I had heard something about rigor mortis going away - so I looked... from Chemistry of Muscle Fibers, By Anne Marie Helmenstine, Ph.D.

    "A few hours after a person or animal dies, the joints of the body stiffen and become locked in place. This stiffening is called rigor mortis. Depending on temperature and other conditions, rigor mortis lasts approximately 72 hours. The phenomenon is caused by the skeletal muscles partially contracting. The muscles are unable to relax, so the joints become fixed in place."

    Vampire lovers... you only have about 3 days to get your necrophilia on...

    :bigsmile:
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
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    Ah come on, Buffy shags vamps, FACT! LOL

    (the leper thing almost had me wetting my pants btw LMAO)

    Buffy the Vampire LAYER and not Buffy the Vampire SLAYER :laugh:
  • JamieSK
    JamieSK Posts: 266 Member
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    What's Twilight never saw it either?!!

    :laugh:
  • tam120
    tam120 Posts: 444 Member
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    Dear Twilight fans,


    Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.


    Sincerely, Logic
    Perpetual erection, he just hides it well. :bigsmile: :drinker:
    Cause, you know, he's hard as stone, head to toe!
  • Mariposa187
    Mariposa187 Posts: 344 Member
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    ah hahahahahah :) very entertaining!
  • TheGoktor
    TheGoktor Posts: 1,138 Member
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    Bwaahhhaaaaaaa!

    You have to watch this...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMssvXWWn5Q :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    (Also never even entertained the idea of Twilight)

    Oh, and just for McKay...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bcON9ZmGDBc&feature=related

    (Luffs Voltaire!)
  • thirtyandthriving
    thirtyandthriving Posts: 613 Member
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    Dear Twilight fans,


    Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.


    Sincerely, Logic

    Yes, I read that (sshhh- not the point ;) )

    Dear Logic,
    Obviously you've never heard of Rigor mortis.

    Sincerely,
    Never seen twilight or a vampire, just saying

    Could be totally fake... but I thought I had heard something about rigor mortis going away - so I looked... from Chemistry of Muscle Fibers, By Anne Marie Helmenstine, Ph.D.

    "A few hours after a person or animal dies, the joints of the body stiffen and become locked in place. This stiffening is called rigor mortis. Depending on temperature and other conditions, rigor mortis lasts approximately 72 hours. The phenomenon is caused by the skeletal muscles partially contracting. The muscles are unable to relax, so the joints become fixed in place."

    Vampire lovers... you only have about 3 days to get your necrophilia on...

    :bigsmile:
  • thirtyandthriving
    thirtyandthriving Posts: 613 Member
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    Yes, I read that (sshhh- not the point ;) )
  • kristy76063
    kristy76063 Posts: 13
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    I had to keep telling myself this book was written for teenagers as I pondered the same thing I even discussed it with my mom and we both just laughed...her choice was a guy who couldn't get it up or having puppies :huh:
  • Thomasm198
    Thomasm198 Posts: 3,189 Member
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    I had to keep telling myself this book was written for teenagers as I pondered the same thing I even discussed it with my mom and we both just laughed...her choice was a guy who couldn't get it up or having puppies :huh:

    twilight2.jpg

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Twilight.jpg

    LOL
  • Promqueen_74932
    Promqueen_74932 Posts: 203 Member
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    Dear Twilight fans,


    Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.


    Sincerely, Logic


    LLLOOOOOOOOOVVVVEEEEEEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • janiebeth
    janiebeth Posts: 2,509 Member
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    I had to keep telling myself this book was written for teenagers as I pondered the same thing I even discussed it with my mom and we both just laughed...her choice was a guy who couldn't get it up or having puppies :huh:

    twilight2.jpg

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    Love this!!!

    ..but I still kinda think it would be cool to have a BF/pet... :laugh: :laugh:
  • Fleur933
    Fleur933 Posts: 156 Member
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    I don't know why...but this thread has me like ROLLING with laughter :)
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    Long but totally funny
    http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
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    128840472129217679-1.jpg
  • Littlemouse1973
    Littlemouse1973 Posts: 21 Member
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    I have watched ALL the Twilight movies (two or three times apiece)... Loved them. Seriously. BUT


    Dear Logic,

    Hello!!! Talking about Vampires!!! You do know they aren't real?

    Cheers
    Twilight Fan...

    BTW, dog boy is WAY sexier than bat boy.
    Just saying
  • Tiffanydepiano
    Tiffanydepiano Posts: 169 Member
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    @ Littlemouse.
    I'm with you.

    I'm not bothered by the jokes. I think they are hilarious! but, I am a true Twitard at heart.
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    128840472129217679-1.jpg

    pmsl, nicking this if you don't mind. brilliant
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    Vampire lovers... you only have about 3 days to get your necrophilia on...

    :bigsmile:

    The problem, then, is that, traditionally, it takes three days for the reanimation from human to vampire to occur. So, you're screwed. Or not screwed, as the case may be.

    But that's the beauty of the supernatural. Nothing is impossible once you let magic into the equation.

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