I gained back 32 pounds - sabotage, help?

Options
2»

Replies

  • sugarbone
    sugarbone Posts: 454 Member
    Options
    Maybe make a compromise with her? Tell her, I need to take care of my body, and I am going to eat my own food. But on Friday night, Saturday night whatever, I will eat whatever you cook for dinner because I love your cooking. That way she can still spoil you with food but it won't make an impact. The only way to tackle this really is to eat tiny portions of her cooking, or none at all... try to make it about your health and well-being, something she should care about.
  • Circa1964
    Circa1964 Posts: 225 Member
    Options
    I'm guessing your mother needs to lose weight also if she eats that way too. I agree, she is showering you with love the only way she knows how. If she is resistant I wonder if it is because she doesn't want to be held accountable for her own weight (if she is large). I would suggest that you cook one day, your brother cook one, your mom cook one, and you have OYO (On Your Own) night.
    This might help.
    Good Luck!
  • NorthernCally
    NorthernCally Posts: 50
    Options

    My mother comes back and in comes the homecooked baking, bread making, starches, home-made pastries and fattening meals return. My mother has no concept of really understanding calories. Example: She made a teriyaki and fried rice dish the other night and thought that was “healthy” because it has chicken (despite the fact it was loaded with brown sugar and soysauce and the rice was fried and WHITE and the chicken was sauteed in butter).

    I’ve tried to explain several times how calories work, etc – and it’s in one ear and out the other.

    Even relatively healthy dishes she makes them unhealthy by adding more butter or cooking with oil (when I’ve cooked the same dishes without) – sometimes in 1 pot she’ll use half a stick (mind you we’re only 3 people in the house). I'm at the point, I don't even ask what she used or not since she'll just (at least I feel) lie about it and say she didn't use as much.

    Also if me or my brother (who lost 100lbs) tries to mention this is too fattening, etc – she becomes very offensive and hurt about it. She'll argue that no one appreciates it, etc.

    My brother has gained back about 15 lbs as well.

    I don’t know what to do? The only way I lost the weight is I just did not have access to the food I do now.

    The fridge literally had nothing but milk, water, fruits, veggies, chicken, cereal and I was excersising 5-6x a week.

    One of my major weak spots if ice cream – and for example Sunday she invited me to go get some ice cream – well there goes 600+ calories for me.

    I’ve even went as far as explaining, I’ll only be eating what’s on my list of foods, etc. But if I’m out say on campus, she’ll txt saying when am I coming home for dinner!?

    Like I’ve tried to explain to her..if I could say no and resist temptation of food.

    Some of the things you've said have jumped out at me: One of your weak spots is ice cream. You can control how much you have of it. If you like the fancier flavours, with all the toppings, have a kid-sized cone. You CAN just order a small one. Eat it slower. Really enjoy it.

    Go online and find a new healthy (or healthier) version of one of your favourite foods that your Mom cooks, and offer to make it with her. Don't just tell her what healthier means, do it with her. Do groceries with her and see if there are fruits and veggies that she doesn't use, and find new dishes that all of you will want to eat.

    And, another tip for portion control: Use a sandwich plate. And, only have one serving. Eat your food slowly. I love food, and have a hard time saying no to great cooking, too! But, when you eat more slowly, you really DO give your body time to know that it's full. Then, you have to stick to your guns to your Mom. You are the one who will suffer if you don't get your eating under control. Being 50 pounds over-weight is hard; being 80 pounds (or more) over-weight is even worse.

    Just make sure your Mom knows that you love her, but you have to make changes because you love yourself, too.
  • barkin43
    barkin43 Posts: 508 Member
    Options
    LOL! I know what you mean about Mom's cooking. My mom thinks if it's called salad, it's healthy. So, when I visit, she makes pea salad, corn salad, macaroni salad, and potato salad. Of course, she is able to eat one tablespoon of each and quit. She doesn't have a weight problem so can't really relate to us hungry folks! I will be visiting with her for a week starting Thursday, but I will eat the same small portions that she does this time. I have adjusted my appetite to smaller portions so should be able to handle it. Maybe you could try eating small portions of what your mom cooks. Good luck with this!

Categories