Dating someone that is not into fitness

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Yanicka1
Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
in Chit-Chat
Let just say that you are single and you meet someone that is absolutly not into fitness,healthy eating and are over weight. In every other aspect, they are a very good match to you. Has a Great personality, very good lover, stable and well paying job.

Would it be a deal braker for you?
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Replies

  • Iheartsushi
    Iheartsushi Posts: 150 Member
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    Now it is a deal breaker for me. Because although we have friends and family of different walks of life..when it comes to a partner, you eventually morph into similar behaviors. If this person appears open to changing their lifestyle to include fitness and health..then sure..let's give it a shot. If not, I'm gone.. because I wouldn't truly be able to accept them for who they are and how they live.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    It's only a dealbreaker for me if he refuses to try to improve. I cannot become emotionally invested in someone who does not care about his health or his appearance because it will only get worse as he gets older.
  • vegankaty
    vegankaty Posts: 10
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    I think it would be really hard. When you are around someone a lot, you start to do what the other does. You could rub off on them, giving them a taste of what it is like to be active and eat well, or you could see your portion sizes get bigger, less active, etc.

    It definitely could be a deal breaker. How strong are you to keep going and keep aiming for your goals? Will they be supportive of you?
  • socialite1
    socialite1 Posts: 109
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    Since I've become a healthier, more active person dating someone who is not active is a deal breaker for me.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
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    Yes it is
    Because after the age of 25 being in shape is no accident, it''s hard work.


    I'm in excellent shape. I don't mind if my partner is not, but I do expect or desire the same effort.
  • bamalot
    bamalot Posts: 1 Member
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    No. But don't let his lifestyle ruin all that you have worked hard for. If exercise and being healthy is important for you, which it is, don't give in. Perhaps, ask him to exercise with you and introduce healthier foods into his life and see what his response is. It may be that he wants to be healthy and exercise, but does not know where to start nor does he have the motivation.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    Depends on if they are going to be a turdmonkey about it and try to sabotage you or not.
  • TankGirl71
    TankGirl71 Posts: 241 Member
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    Yes, it would be a deal breaker. Imagine 3 to 5 times a day clashing over meals, restaurants etc. Imagine clashing at least once a day due to your desire to exercise. Hope you can get him on board.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    My wife has never played a sport in her life. Never jogged. Never rode a bike. I have played almost every sport and still play in a soccer league at 57.

    Means nothing to our relationship. We share more important things than sports.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    No, it wasn't. Not when we met, not when we dated, and not during our marriage. Though, he eats a lot healthier now because he doesn't want to cook separate meals.
  • hillm12345
    hillm12345 Posts: 313 Member
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    it depends. Although he's not into it, is he supportive?
  • Emwalker3406
    Emwalker3406 Posts: 308 Member
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    Its a deal breaker for me if they can not support me and/or sabotage my efforts.
  • debswebby
    debswebby Posts: 326
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    My husband is a sofa surfer and eats crap all the time. I go to the gym 5 times a week and eat healthy food all the time. I have a weight problem, he doesn't.
    I sometimes get jealous of his lifestyle. We've been married 10 years and make it work. I don't know if I could put up with it if I only just met him. Will have to think about that.
    Have decided - it wouldn't bother me - not a deal breaker. Its good to have something to be smug about in a relationship :laugh:

    But he is very supportive and so proud of me. I think that is the clincher.
  • StarlaDesiree
    StarlaDesiree Posts: 33 Member
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    This is how it is with my fiance and myself. Although, I have gotten him to care a little more about his health. Since I'm the only one that cooks, he eats the healthy foods that I make, and he does exercise every so often because I bought a bike that he can use while playing video games, so it makes it less "boring" for him. He even does Jillian Michaels DVDs with me once in a while. I don't think he will ever be as obsessed about his fitness as I am, but he has certainly started to believe the benefits of living a healthier lifestyle than he did before we got together.
  • LovahLaura
    LovahLaura Posts: 43
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    In a way...I am this person. My boyfriend is the athletic, fit one. But he still eats unhealthy. But you wouldn't know it if you looked at him. But at least I am trying! I'm on MFP, I try to exercise a few times a week and I'm trying to eat healthier. But it's soooo difficult!
  • peachyolives
    peachyolives Posts: 46 Member
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    Now that I've become pretty intense about my fitness and exercise schedule (I work out every day for at least 1 hour and up to 4 hours), I think it would probably be a deal breaker unless we were just dating casually. Otherwise, it would be too hard for me to keep up my routine when he didn't want to be involved at all.

    Besides, it's already hard for me to eat well (I like exercising) - I can't imagine having another person in my life that would encourage my bad habits!

    I do agree with what some other people said, though - if he was willing to try to improve and start exercising and such, I could work with that.
  • chocolateandvodka
    chocolateandvodka Posts: 1,856 Member
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    it could be...
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Not a deal breaker as long as he doesn't resent the time I spend working out.
  • GetFitE
    GetFitE Posts: 247 Member
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    It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me as long as he is supportive of my goal and doesn't try to sabotage my diet. I struggle with that with my boyfriend now. He some what cares about fitness, but not NEARLY as much as I do and DEFINITELY doesn't care about his diet. It's a struggle, but he's my perfect match. He's very supportive and encouraging towards my goals. He tries his best to not sabotage my diet, although he LOVES candies and sugars, but I encourage healthy eating and exercise by asking him to walk or do yoga with me or I cook healthy dinners. It's a win-win: he feels the walks are romantic and enjoys watching me do yoga, DEFINITELY enjoys my cooking (cause he eats anything), and that way I'm still doing what I need to do to stick to my diet. So, I would try that first before completely ruling someone off.
  • Sharon009
    Sharon009 Posts: 327 Member
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    It wouldnt bother me as long as the person respected that these things are important to me. I've never had a guy turn me down if I asked him to exercise with me, as a matter of fact they really liked it even though it wasnt something they did. I also love to cook and I sort of enjoy dating someone who appreciates that and likes to eat without barriers.

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