MY OLDER SISTER CALLED ME OVERWEIGHT/FAT

mommacuca
mommacuca Posts: 19 Member
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
So I'm up pumping- breastfeeding- and I was excited to come log my excercise because I just weiged in and I lost 3 lbs :) when the thought came to me "ahh who cares I'm fat anyway"-
yesterday my super skinny model esq sister really hurt me and I really want to quit on here and stop trying to lose weight- Im 5'8 231lbs- the last time I was 197-196lbs was when I met my husabnd october of 2009- I just feel so done trying to lose weight, like accepting this is how I am and just not trying I just feel hopeless now - like "how am I going to do this. ugh 31 lbs to go? thats crazy- I dont know- she messed me up

I'm broken
«1

Replies

  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
    Giving up will really show her! Come on! Love yourself better than that! Who cares what she says! If you are happy the way you are then fine, but if not, pull yourself up and do something about it!!!
  • cmiles23
    cmiles23 Posts: 234 Member
    THIS ISNT ABOUT YOUR SISTER THIS IS ABOUT YOU, LOSING WEIGHT TAKES DEDICATION AND HARD WORK AND IT CAN BE DONE WITH THE RIGHT FOCUS. WHO CARE WHAT SHE SAID, IT IS EASY FOR HER TO SAY MEAN THINGS BECAUSE SHE HAS NEVER BEEN IN YOUR POSITION. YOU CAN DO THIS, DONT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO GO LOOK UNDER SUCCES STORIES TAB, IF THEY CAN DO IT SO CAN YOU!
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    When you are a victim, you're saying other people are in control of your life. That's BS! Is your sister in control of your life? NO! You can do this. Who cares what she thinks. People who belittle others just do it because they're insecure about something. She's probably jealous of what a great mommy you are. Please don't give up!
  • FireMama_24
    FireMama_24 Posts: 169 Member
    I know how you feel. Don't worry my sister is a lot skinner then me and ALWAYS says shes fat and look at this fat here (where there is none) I just keep going. It is frustrating trust me but it will catch up with them sooner or later.
  • DWilbanks
    DWilbanks Posts: 420 Member
    Why would you let someone else dictate how good or bad you feel about yourself? Your sister is her own person, she'll always be the way she is. But you on the other hand control your own destiny. Personally I don't let someone else get in my head like that. For me it would be, I knew how great I felt when I stepped on the scale and saw those 3 pounds gone, and I'd want to keep that feeling instead of anything negative.
  • netchik
    netchik Posts: 587 Member
    Don't discuss it with her anymore, and you'll surprise her when you're super healthy. There's a great support system here on MFP, but we can't protect you from RL - so remember... "Sticks and Stones"...

    You can do it hon! Show your sister that you can have a killer figure and not be a b1tch about it! It will take a while, but be Soooooo worth it
  • mandyschalk
    mandyschalk Posts: 93 Member
    You CAN lose it!! Think of how good you will feel once you have! It is hard to heat hurtful things try to turn it into motivation!!
  • Oh honey. Your sister is so intimidated by the fact that you might look better than her that all she can do is keep you down and hope you stay where you are. I don't even know you or this girl but I can tell you she is so intimidated by you and frankly, she sounds like a very insecure person. The only thing she can do to build herself up is to tear you (and probably others) down.

    You have a beautiful child. You are strong and probably happy. Keep with your program, keep your heart in the right place and keep you eye on the prize. You CAN do this. DO NOT give up.

    BTW: breast feeding burns an extra 500 calories a day! The weight will come off faster than you imagine.

    HUGS!!!! Big hugs to you girlfriend.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    I know how you feel. Don't worry my sister is a lot skinner then me and ALWAYS says shes fat and look at this fat here (where there is none) I just keep going. It is frustrating trust me but it will catch up with them sooner or later.

    I know the feeling. I have a relative (not naming names, bc I have some on here) who complains about how her size, but asks to borrow my clothes. Gee thanks. I've just learned to be a duck. Let it roll off my back, because I'm sure she doesn't really mean anything by it anyway.

    ***edited for spelling mistake.
  • Simply refuse to allow anyone - family included - to have that much power over you.

    Your body, your choices - you are considerably stronger than you can ever imagine.

    Take one breath, one meal at a time, and forgt about "showing her" - you need to "show yourself" just how capable you are, and are going to be!
  • carebear7951
    carebear7951 Posts: 404 Member
    Do you want to know how you will lose 31 lbs?? ONE POUND AT A TIME. Don't think about 31 lbs. Think about 1 lb, and then another. And you show your sister (who is RUDE and unsupportive at this time anyway-maybe she is threatened that if you lose weight she won't have that "over" you anymore!?) You can do this-slow and steady if you are bf'ing your baby! Get some kind of movement every day and make good food choices!!!!!
  • BPayton27
    BPayton27 Posts: 626 Member
    Please don't give up. Don't give your sister that much control over your life! You and you alone are responsible for yourself. This is a marathon, not a sprint after all. You're still nursing for crying out loud! Is this your first baby? Your body needs some time to find it's footing. Eating healthy and exercising is that much more difficult when you're sleep deprived and stressed. Do this for you and ignore what your sister has to say. I don't know WHERE I'd be if I listened to all my mother's negative comments. Good luck to you.
  • Chairless
    Chairless Posts: 583 Member
    I just feel hopeless now - like "how am I going to do this. ugh 31 lbs to go? thats crazy

    3 months of logging and sticking to it saw me scream past that number, its as impossible /crazy as you make it.
  • Hello, if there is one thing I want to tell you is, do not quite. you lost 3 pounds and you are going to keep loosing. I started this in april and I lost 20 pounds. That sister of yours should stay out of your life, if that's all she has to say. You are going to stay on this site and we will encourage each other. She probably thought all her life that she was better than you because of her skinny body, but you know she just proved that she is not a better person. Someone who says that to her sister can't be happy with herself. Stay here and we will do it,,,,,,,, not for her but for us. I was 173 and I'm down to 153 now. we will do it one pound a week. ok...... please don't let me down and stay away from that jealous sister of yours. Probably just jealous of you and your beautiful family.
  • Wow! You LOST 3 pounds!!! That should motivate you!!!! You seem to be doing a great job! Don't stop now!! You can do this! Keep up the great work!!
  • Please don't give up, you are doing so well. I know how much it hurts when someone calls you fat, it is so incredibly painful to hear! But you have done so well already. I know it is hard but try and see all the positive things in your life, your beautiful baby who needs you to be strong and healthy. You can do it!
  • GownleyC2
    GownleyC2 Posts: 72 Member
    Mom,
    I first want to say I am sorry that your sister said that to you. If you look at my profile you will se that I have 100 pounds to lose and I will lose it. I was always in shape and lost my way after having my son, going back to school and working a very stressful job. You can do it!!! Don't let others control your life. I lost 4pounds the other day and I am so excited!! I am still 228 pounds and someone who is thin might look at me like why are you so happy you are still "fat". But it was a great accomplishment for me. So enter that weight loss with pride and keep coming back!!! This is your journey!!! Don't get lost in the negativity!!
  • dlaplume2
    dlaplume2 Posts: 1,658 Member
    You are being harder on yourself than your sister. You can do this. You need to take baby steps. Don't look at the whole 31lb, look for the next 2 lbs, the next one 1lb. They all add up.

    You are doing this for you and for your little baby. Don't let some comment deter you from that.


    :flowerforyou:
  • Alysgrma
    Alysgrma Posts: 365 Member
    Honey I feel for you...but who cares what anyone says about you? If you know you need to lose weight it doesn't fall on anyone but you! You have a baby, do you want to be around to see your child grow up, get married and have babies of their own? Yes I know you do so, you being a mother which makes you stronger then most people you will do what you have to do. It may take you awhile and you will stumble along the way but you will reach your weight....not just for you but your child.
    Next time when your sister or anyone tries to bring you down, look at her and thank her for loving you, and then tell her with her and Gods help you will reach your goals.
    You can do this!!! If I can lose what I have anyone can. We all have struggles/monsters/demons we face each and every day....we can and we will do this. I am right there with you!
    Mary
  • Do not give up on yourself. This is your sister's issue, not yours. You are doing what's best for you. Try not to let things other people say deter you from your goals. I also have a sister who is very thin and I have learned that she makes negative comments about me (and others) because she is not happy with herself and her life and she wants others to feel the same way. Remain strong and committed. You have to do this for yourself. Feel free to add me if you wish.:smile:
  • I say people who call names and judge other people are only insecure about themselves. I understand fully that words can hurt, and even more so when they come from family or people who are close to you. Don't use her harsh words as something to break you down. Use them to prove her wrong and be able to get healthy.

    There is definitely a lot of support here on mfp, but we can only do so much being only internet based friends. I have found loads of encouragement and positive comments all around by people on here and it has helped me a lot. I've lost 20 pounds so far, but still have a long way to go, about 60 or so more, so I've got a long journey ahead of me. I can be a positive supportive online friend if you would like to add me. I can listen, chat, and give a push to stay on track.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    Two options...

    1) If you can't do it for yourself, do it for that gorgeous baby of yours! She deserves a healthy happy Mommy, right?!

    2) Let your sister dictate how you feel about yourself and therefore life in general with her cutting comments.

    Come on now - you know which is the better choice!

    I know where you're coming from too. About two years ago when I announced to my mother and brother that I planned on joining WW the following January, my brother basically rolled his eyes at me and said "again?". Like I couldn't do it and what was the point of trying again and failing again. I could of let his comments cut me down and keep me down but EFF THAT BS! I turned it around and made it my motivation for those early days when I wasn't sure I could do it. Now he's one of my biggest supporters because he sees I'm serious this time, am doing it and will get to goal and stay there.

    So, instead of feeling bad for yourself, get mad and get moving!
  • reneelee
    reneelee Posts: 877 Member
    This is the best time to lose the weight. Breast feeding takes a lot of calories.
  • elysecea
    elysecea Posts: 161 Member
    Just take what she said in stride to be happy with yourself!!! You can do this! You have so much support right here at your finger tips! Just hold your chin high and change what you want to change!! Challenge your inner beast!!!!!
  • mommacuca
    mommacuca Posts: 19 Member
    thank you everyone, there are some post on here that I really loved but since im new dont know how to quote it and respond lol - but thank you very much
  • tritt86
    tritt86 Posts: 32
    I know how you feel. After I delivered my baby I was compared to Violet on Willy Wonka. Yes, it hurt a bit. Keep with it though!! It took me almost 1 year and a half to start losing weight. It gets easier as you go along with this journey. Do this for yourself! You deserve to be happy! As for you sister, what a cruel thing to say!! By the way, congrats on the baby!!
  • Fatbuster205
    Fatbuster205 Posts: 333 Member
    Do not quit! I had a super petite, slim older sister who used to do the same. She said it mainly to try and motivate me but I felt differently in how I took it. Unfortunately she is no longer with me to give me "advice" good or bad as she passed away three years ago in a car accident! Believe me I would have her back tomorrow giving me a ton of grief. But I am on MFP and I am losing weight and I am succeeding and I will continue to succeed and I will accept what anyone says to me good or bad. If I don't like what someone says I just calmly say "That was a bit rude/insensitive/thoughless/personal" - the look on the person's face is usually total shock and believe me, they do not come back with adverse comments to my face again. They may say things behind my back but I cannot control that so I do not worry about it! As to 31lb - look at some other people on this site who have 100lbs or more to lose and look at those who have lost that and more! Be strong and just tell her that she is being insensitve - try and have a good conversation and explain why you are doing this, how you feel about yourself and that you would appreciate her support. Finally, most of us on this site are overweight/fat at the beginning - accept that what your sister has said is true. At least she loves you enough to be honest with you and maybe she says it because she wants to help?
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    I just feel hopeless now - like "how am I going to do this. ugh 31 lbs to go? thats crazy

    3 months of logging and sticking to it saw me scream past that number, its as impossible /crazy as you make it.

    I've lost 48 of baby weight and I am SOOO not a "fitness" type person. If ***I*** can do it, ANYONE can. Trust me on that.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    Your sister is a douche! She is probably jealous of you and feels the need to criticise you to make herself feel better. Ive got a sister like that, always been beautiful and slim, but envies my successes in life.

    Don't let her get to you!! Be proud of who you are and what you accomplish for yourself :bigsmile:
  • mommacuca
    mommacuca Posts: 19 Member
    thanks everyone!! add me if you want to be friendson here! :)
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