Ladies, I need to vent!
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I"ve experienced that, and this is the way I look at it. Because of our weight, we get to see early on that someone is a superficial jerk, and we can move on. If I were thin, got together with someone, then gained weight or something happened where my appearance wasn't up to his standards, I've lost all this time, become emotionally invested, etc., only to be hurt in this way. I've had that happen, too, and I'd rather have the insight that not being "perfect" in someone's eyes has given me.0
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Yea, she put me in my place so bad that she thanked me for my bluntness and FR me..I'm not playing the victim, and I'm not bummed because I can't have a chance with them. I'm annoyed with their piss poor attitude toward a little extra weight. I have my preferences like anyone else, but I don't react like a b*tch when a guy isn't what I'm attracted to.
dammmmnnn bro! Homegirl put yo *kitten* in check! xD
She sure did xD
Go to sleep kids
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Yea, she put me in my place so bad that she thanked me for my bluntness and FR me..I'm not playing the victim, and I'm not bummed because I can't have a chance with them. I'm annoyed with their piss poor attitude toward a little extra weight. I have my preferences like anyone else, but I don't react like a b*tch when a guy isn't what I'm attracted to.
dammmmnnn bro! Homegirl put yo *kitten* in check! xD
She sure did xD
Go to sleep kids
I wasn't being rude, or putting anyone in check. I was simply clearing up my poor wording on my initial post. Cakepiebeer, your honesty is awesome, and I fully appreciate you being blunt.
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Yea, she put me in my place so bad that she thanked me for my bluntness and FR me..I'm not playing the victim, and I'm not bummed because I can't have a chance with them. I'm annoyed with their piss poor attitude toward a little extra weight. I have my preferences like anyone else, but I don't react like a b*tch when a guy isn't what I'm attracted to.
dammmmnnn bro! Homegirl put yo *kitten* in check! xD
She sure did xD
Go to sleep kids
That was hot.0 -
I find it best not to date someone when I immediately want to change something about him.I'm so d*mn tired of men who act like the fat cannot be shed!0 -
I'm not playing the victim, and I'm not bummed because I can't have a chance with them. I'm annoyed with their piss poor attitude toward a little extra weight. I have my preferences like anyone else, but I don't react like a b*tch when a guy isn't what I'm attracted to.
Not playing a victim? Not bummed? What was the name of this post again? Get f'ng real.
Everyone in the world has their own predjudices towads what they want in a man or woman. Sadly, there are equally as many woman as there are men that don't like big people. So Suck it up buttercup. The majority, unfortunately, of people are superficial. Keep confidence in yourself andone day, you will not only end up with a date, but a lifetime partner.0 -
I find it best not to date someone when I immediately want to change something about him.I'm so d*mn tired of men who act like the fat cannot be shed!
x 1000000 -
Everyone is entitled to their preferred body type. I've been turned down for mine, and picked up for it. If they don't like it, it's their loss.
Very well said!0 -
I think all you gotta do is put yourself in their shoes..
Its really hard to explain.. I went through this with friends also! and my husband.. People feel like overweight people dont get hurt ,, I mean they would say the meanest things to me and thing that just because I am chubby I can take more sh** than skinny girls because they are fragile .. I think this whole concept of dating big girls feels to men like they are not in control
Excuse me if am just blabbering i tend to carry on lol with sometimes non sense stuff 0 -
When my hubby and I got together we had both gained weight since high school, but there was an instant connection and he has always made me feel wanted and desirable. Now we're both in much better shape (we did it together) and people who wrote us (especially him) off for being overweight just look dumb, because they missed out on a great guy. There ARE decent people in the world. I refuse to say "men" because I think men and women both suffer in this area.0
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I'm sorry-I know it's tough to feel rejected. You are still on your journey to finding yourself with your new habits right? I would focus on making yourself happy and reaching your goals. Don't worry too much about what guys think. When you get to where you want to be health wise and can truly love yourself for who you are, it will shine through and the right person will come along and recognize that.0
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I find it best not to date someone when I immediately want to change something about him.I'm so d*mn tired of men who act like the fat cannot be shed!
but... but... what if i can FIX it?? /sarcasm0 -
and if a bald headed guy asked you out, wouldnt you expect him to be bummed that you turned him down?
it goes both ways.........sorry, you sound like youre playing the victim
also, you have a choice..........just lose the weight, problem solved.........Lloyd0 -
I'm not playing the victim, and I'm not bummed because I can't have a chance with them. I'm annoyed with their piss poor attitude toward a little extra weight. I have my preferences like anyone else, but I don't react like a b*tch when a guy isn't what I'm attracted to.
Like I said, it doesnt f*ckin matter. You cant change how they think, and why would you. Dust yourself off and keep walking forward
^^^This!!!!0 -
I'd like to agree with you, except I know from experience that attraction isn't just about a person being nice inside. It's the total package. I've been asked out by thoroughly decent guys and sleazeballs and a whole range in between. The attraction factor was a combo of looks, personality, and timing. It's not fair, but that's just the way it is.
Okay, I've got to give you some sympathy though - it really hurts to get turned down because of your weight. It hurts to get turned down period. But you can and will get dates with decent guys. Be fun, be sure of who you are, and live a happy life. Nothing is so attractive as joy and contentment no matter what weight you're at. Don't believe me? I've got a friend whose husband gives other women whiplash he's so gorgeous. His wife is at least 60lbs heavier than me. But she's a blast to be around, she's happy with who she is physically, and she's always got something new going on. She also belly dances. In other words, she IS beautiful. They've been married 25 years and they're still hot for each other. I've seen this man literally turn heads in a room of women and make a bee line for his wife. The other gals might as well not be there. Love is just like that.0 -
Let's put things in perspective: you're still young, and if you're dating guys your age, many of them have the emotional maturity of a turnip. They're still looking for the "trophy" image that mass media has been pushing down our collective throats for decades. I've known women who would cause guys to do that Looney-Toons eye-popping thing and bring about drooling on a Pavlovian scale, yet they were shallow as a petri dish on the inside. I actually had a woman (an old childhood "friend" as it turns out) tell me straight out that I was "as fat as a cow", yet only recently she was pushing about 225 herself. There's no accounting for taste or tact, and that's from both sides of the gender aisle.
What I can discern from your profile and postings is that you are bright, sensitive, in possession of a monumental sense of humor (love the pictures, they're hilarious), and caring. There is a guy out there for you whose head isn't firmly entrenched up his nethers who is going to see all that about you and fall absolutely gob-smacked, head-over-heels for you. Ignore the peons and keep your eyes out for this guy...trust me, right now, he's looking for you! He'll recognize you by the confident smile you're wearing. Don't forget to put it on wherever you go, you'll never know just where you're going to bump into him!
Best of luck, and stay positive! :flowerforyou:0 -
This is a frustrating thing and Ive been there done that. Everyone has there own personal struggle with this sort of thing and are at different stages with it. During my personal journey what transpired was this: I am an awesome person, a loyal friend, and a catch and a half. Any guy worth there salt would miss out not being with me. I turned INWARD and worked on myself, focused on my goals, and worked toward them. Then guess what happend? These yahoos I used to waste my precious time tripping on suddenly didnt matter anymore. Then another thing happend when you adopt a postive attitude about yourself you dont even have to go looking cause guess what honey they come flocking to you and you have to fend them away with a stick!!
I only surround myself with positive peeps. I look at it like this attitude and self confidence is very attractive among other qualities. Guys love a girl who can have fun and doesnt have 20 zillion hang ups. I feel the more you focus on YOU the less youll give a crap about these men. We do live in a prejudgice society no doubt and it sucks. Namaste.0 -
I'm sure no one is going to like what I have to say, but I'm gonna say it anyway. I used to think that way too, until I started listening to people. I started hearing women over and over and over saying "beauty is only skin deep. When is a man gonna see me for what's on the inside?" etc etc etc Those same women would see some fine *kitten* guy walk by and drool. How hypocritical is that? Women are always judging men because they are trained just like we are by our culture and media to like fit and thin women. I have had men attracted to me at all weights. Men do look past weight, and not just overweight sloppy men. But I have more men attracted when I am fit and thin. Who could blame them, don't women also find fit and healthy men more attractive? If a man works hard at his physique then it seems that I am not going to blame him for prefering an attractive fit women to my lazy lumpy *kitten*. A partner wants to be well paired with their mate and physical features and fitness level are all a part of that. Fitness is one aspect of attraction, personality and inner confidence are others.,,All of them are important to many people.0
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Let's put things in perspective: you're still young, and if you're dating guys your age, many of them have the emotional maturity of a turnip. They're still looking for the "trophy" image that mass media has been pushing down our collective throats for decades. I've known women who would cause guys to do that Looney-Toons eye-popping thing and bring about drooling on a Pavlovian scale, yet they were shallow as a petri dish on the inside. I actually had a woman (an old childhood "friend" as it turns out) tell me straight out that I was "as fat as a cow", yet only recently she was pushing about 225 herself. There's no accounting for taste or tact, and that's from both sides of the gender aisle.
What I can discern from your profile and postings is that you are bright, sensitive, in possession of a monumental sense of humor (love the pictures, they're hilarious), and caring. There is a guy out there for you whose head isn't firmly entrenched up his nethers who is going to see all that about you and fall absolutely gob-smacked, head-over-heels for you. Ignore the peons and keep your eyes out for this guy...trust me, right now, he's looking for you! He'll recognize you by the confident smile you're wearing. Don't forget to put it on wherever you go, you'll never know just where you're going to bump into him!
Best of luck, and stay positive! :flowerforyou:
THIS^^^ guy is awesome!
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Let's put things in perspective: you're still young, and if you're dating guys your age, many of them have the emotional maturity of a turnip. They're still looking for the "trophy" image that mass media has been pushing down our collective throats for decades. I've known women who would cause guys to do that Looney-Toons eye-popping thing and bring about drooling on a Pavlovian scale, yet they were shallow as a petri dish on the inside. I actually had a woman (an old childhood "friend" as it turns out) tell me straight out that I was "as fat as a cow", yet only recently she was pushing about 225 herself. There's no accounting for taste or tact, and that's from both sides of the gender aisle.
What I can discern from your profile and postings is that you are bright, sensitive, in possession of a monumental sense of humor (love the pictures, they're hilarious), and caring. There is a guy out there for you whose head isn't firmly entrenched up his nethers who is going to see all that about you and fall absolutely gob-smacked, head-over-heels for you. Ignore the peons and keep your eyes out for this guy...trust me, right now, he's looking for you! He'll recognize you by the confident smile you're wearing. Don't forget to put it on wherever you go, you'll never know just where you're going to bump into him!
Best of luck, and stay positive! :flowerforyou:
THIS^^^ guy is awesome!
Aww shucks, ma'am! T'warnt nuthin'! :blushing:0 -
Yuppppp, it's happened to me before.0
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