Cutting off communication with a family member

Yes, I didn't talk to my parents for 10 years...til recently. My father passed last summer w/o me seeing him (last time I had seen him I was almost 18...I was 27 when he passed). I only regret not getting to say goodbye. They didn't agree with me getting engaged/married at a young age and now that I'm soon to be divorced, yes - I do regret it.

Without getting too nosey, is/was he ever abusive? I can see where some situations where you can "love from a distance" and others where it's completely nessesary to kick them out of your life. Whatever you choose, think it over wisely. I just speak from experience. There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish I couldn't say goodbye to my father one last time.

Thank you for sharing your story with me. I appreciate it more thank I can express.

My dad's never been physically abusive. I was never even spanked as a kid. The problem is that he had me when he was 18. My mom was 17. My grandparents were working full time jobs and couldn't afford to help raise me really, but they did anyway sharing the expenses among all four of them and 3 of my great-grandparents.. Both my parents dropped out of high school, got married, and two years later divorced.

My dad never grew up. He's very immature, lies constantly, never supported me financially or in any other way growing up, and blames me for his lack of participation in my life. In the last 5 years, his behavior has gotten much much worse. He never calls or even asks about me from anyone. I hear from him directly once every 6 months or so if I'm lucky, and the last two phone calls (in March and then in August) were asking me for money (in March) or calling to scream at me for sending money to my grandfather so he could buy food (in August). I've been financially supporting my grandfather for the last 7 months since my grandmother passed. (He is 80 and has had a quadruple bypass and can't work anymore. He lost nearly half his income from social security after my grandmother passed. I've been trying to help him stay afloat until he could sell his house and downsize. Thankfully, he sold it this week and is going to be able to downsize and live within his income now.)

I just feel like I'm nothing but a mistake he made when he was 18. The last time I tried to spend time with him, I made reservations at a great little steakhouse with a cool pool bar next door. He kept telling me how excited he was and how much fun we were going to have. He ended up ditching me and running off to a weekend lake trip with his girlfriend and her daughters. I ended up taking my brother instead. That really really hurt, but it hasn't been the only or first time it's happened.

The way he treats his father infuriates me. He takes advantage of his grief (from losing the love of his life 7 months ago), steals from him, talks to him like he's a dog, and pours on a fake guilt trip if my grandfather stands up to him.

He has no clue how much he's hurt me. When I try to talk to him about it, he just says, "oh, sorry.... anyway" and moves on in the conversation. I asked him once why he was sorry and he couldn't answer me. His behavior says that he's not sorry at all

Sorry...I'm using my phone and it's not cooperating.

I just wanted to say that I wish I could give you a big hug. The Father/Daughter relationship is supposed to be something special and I am so sorry your dad doesn't seem to grasp that or care. I would say it's his loss but you've lost too. No parent should treat their child with such callous disregard. I hate to suggest severing contact but I think that in this case it would be much healthier for you. *hugs to you* :flowerforyou:

Thank you sweetie! Although I do grieve for not having the typical father/daughter relationship, I feel like my relationship with my grandfathers has really taken on that role. They are both amazing men, so I have to be very thankful for them and all the love they gave me and still do. My grandmothers are equally as awesome..