Why don't people get it?

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  • Luandanielle1979
    Luandanielle1979 Posts: 747 Member
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    I know what your saying about pressure from others to eat... It drives me crazy. I work in a busy maternity unit on labour ward so we ofter get chocs and cakes given plus all the midwives bring other tasty stuff in. If you dont eat it they are constantly at you. Im not really a sweet person anyway.
    My other constant pain is my best friend who Im sure is determind to see me fall off the wagon and eat everything in site. She did it today after we went to the farm with her daughter. Stopping at mcdonalds and actually being stroppy when I didnt order anything apart from a drink. I have lost over 2st now and Im starting to see a real difference. I feel so much better. Why dont they get that im trying bloody hard and sod off. I love my best pal dearly and she is over weight and unhappy with it but very lazy and apparently on a diet 'yeah right' haha. I would be there to help her every second of every day but I guess I know better than anyone you got to want to do it. You got to give it some welly!! lol.

    Good luck and stay focused :O)
  • starcrystal3
    starcrystal3 Posts: 91 Member
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    My mom and I have both been using MFP for over a month now and it's funny (and sometimes frustrating) to hear the things my husband and dad say. They are both supportive, don't get me wrong, but it can be hard to have goals that differ from those around you.

    My husband said to me the other day, "You are doing great, but I just wanted to say that since you started changing your portion size, mine have been getting smaller, too, and I don't want smaller portions." lol.

    Today, I asked him if he could drop me off at the store on his way out and that I would walk back. He is just baffled by this. "Why would you want to walk back?" he says. For the exercise - it's only 3 miles. ".... ok...."

    My poor mom has to deal with my Dad's special food requests for his bday - chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cake, out to dinner, etc.

    But so is life, and we choose what to make of it, despite what others understand, or don't understand for that matter.

    Hang in there!
  • tbudge
    tbudge Posts: 114
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    jealousy

    I totally agree! The willpower to eat right is so hard, and until a person has the strength to actually do it, they want everyone to eat as bad as they do. It's a pride thing. My office is the same way. They think that because I workout 6 days a week that I can eat whatever I want...don't I wish!!!! And so many people think that just because you don't eat 2000 calories a day, you are starving yourself!!! So not true!
    Hang in there! You have support here! And keep reminding yourself that you are doing what is right for YOU!!! :smile:
  • chicagocubsfan23
    chicagocubsfan23 Posts: 186
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    Have you ever read any of the books by Jennifer Lancaster? She is a non-fction comedy writer- hysterical- her first book is called "Bitter is the New Black"... she has 4 or 5 books out now- I can't rememebr which one- I think it is Bitter- but she talks about going to Weight Watchers and listeneing to them blame all thier weight problems on office birthday cake- all of her books deal with her weight struggles- very very funny- (and takes place in Chicago).

    But I do agree with you- some people just don;t get that you are not ina good place for you- while you may not seem overweight to them, it is about how you feel- AND some people feel better about thier weight/eating issues when other are in the same boat you are- don't let them drag you down to thier level so that they can feel justified for thier own situation!

    Hang in there!!!

    I haven't but I am definitely going to check it out, I love to read!!
  • littlemissbogus
    littlemissbogus Posts: 9
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    I have the same problem here! I keep a few pieces of fresh fruit in a bowl on my desk, a stash of healthy snacks in my desk drawer, and a couple less healthy but "better than a bagel" snacks in my desk as well, like an energy bar with chocolate on it. I also keep a supply of Greek yogurts in the fridge at work. You just gotta be prepared! But there's probably others in your office that feel the same way. Seek them out and stick together!

    Good luck!
  • moonblu
    moonblu Posts: 19 Member
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    personally I would go for the note on the forehead :smile: I would try one of those bright color sticky notes!
  • IMDABEAST
    IMDABEAST Posts: 74 Member
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    Keep your eyes on the prize!!!
  • Luandanielle1979
    Luandanielle1979 Posts: 747 Member
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    No one is forcing you though. You still make all your own decisions. If you want it bad enough you will continue to say no. Or fit the bagel in your daily calorie allowance

    No, but when they continuously try to get me to take a bagel, it gets harder and harder to say no. What I am saying is, they should respect me and what I am doing enough to let it go. If they ask and I say no, that should be the end of it. And it isn't about how many calories right now, it's about what kind of calories

    I agree pressure does make you give in. I have jumped that hurdle now and Im not so easily swayed but its sooooo annoying all the same. If you can just say no lady and thats it your sooooo lucky. You obvoiously dont work with the hen peckers I work with haha. They are completely ruthless :O) Your sooo right about this post people should just gorge thereselves and leave other motivated folk alone :O)
  • SueInAz
    SueInAz Posts: 6,592 Member
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    My usual trick is just to say that I'm going to "take one for later." I wrap it in a napkin, stick it in my purse and take it home and give it to my 22 year old son who can afford to eat it. :laugh:
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
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    How about putting a huge note on your desk (or your forehead for emphasis ;)) that says "I DON'T WANT A DAMN BAGEL!"

    Hmmmm I like this idea... Maybe I'll change the signature on my e-mails to say something to this effect

    lol! Love this xD
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
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    I get this a lot too. Are you telling them you dont want it or you can't have it?
    Usually when I look someone in the eye and say 'I get you are trying to be nice but I really REALLY dont want it'. They usually won't push past that statement. Of course you have to make that same statement everyday! :)
  • jayliospecky
    jayliospecky Posts: 25,022 Member
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    There are also some well-meaning people who really aren't jealous at all and feeding people or offering food is one of their "love languages." I have several people in my life who are always trying to feed people and it's just how they like to nurture. I try to say things like "not right now, maybe in a little bit," but I also make sure they know I appreciate what they've brought, or that I appreciate them looking out for me.

    There are jealous people, too, but there's not a lot you can do about that. Make an excuse or take one and "forget" to eat it.
  • chicagocubsfan23
    chicagocubsfan23 Posts: 186
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    I get this a lot too. Are you telling them you dont want it or you can't have it?
    Usually when I look someone in the eye and say 'I get you are trying to be nice but I really REALLY dont want it'. They usually won't push past that statement. Of course you have to make that same statement everyday! :)

    I usually start with "No thanks I'm good" This morning I said "That's ok I already had breakfast" but people in my office don't care there are so many over weight and unhealthy people. I don't know anybody who actually cares about what they eat here.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Oh, ffs. Why do people on this site automatically assume that everyone is out to get them with food because they are jealous? People offer food out of generosity and kindness, usually. It is hardly some evil plot to keep everyone fat.

    Just because our lives revolve around fitness and calorie counting doesn't mean that everybody else's lives need to.

    Continue to say no, but seriously, please stop putting some kind of sinister twist on others trying to feed you. It's ridiculous.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    Usually when I look someone in the eye and say 'I get you are trying to be nice but I really REALLY dont want it'. They usually won't push past that statement. Of course you have to make that same statement everyday! :)
    This works once for me...no one bothers me after that.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
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    Ahhh I have the best solution. Take the food, thank them, them put it in the garbage in front of them.......... They will never do it again.
  • ashlielinn
    ashlielinn Posts: 920
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    Amen!
  • allie1904
    allie1904 Posts: 248
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    People will get it soon enough when they realise you mean business!

    Lots of my OHs family were like this, but now they support me and if I go there to eat she knows what I'll have on my plate and what I wont eat.
  • skinnygirlinhiding
    skinnygirlinhiding Posts: 14 Member
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    I totally feel you on this. It is incredibly hard for people to understand and to be quite honest, I think the people that are most persuasive are the ones who want to see us fall. What I mean by that is, some people see others exerting self control and they are mad at themselves for not being able to do that same thing so the easier way out of that situation is to make the stronger ones cave so that they are not alone. I can say this because I have been that co-worker. I have been the one to try and make others fall. Misery loves company. Having said that, however, I would like to offer a few suggestions for dealing with future situations. (Keep in mind I like to try and ward people off with humor):

    "Oh I would love to have a bagel, but I already ate 20 on my way to work this morning and I am STUFFED!"

    "Bagel? Did you say bagel? I'm gonna have to regretfully decline. I recently read an article that said bagels can drastically reduce sex drive sooooo.... I'm gonna pass."

    (Ok, that one is funny when you use bagels, but when you have to use something like chocolate cake or butter coated popcorn, even funnier.)

    "Actually I just found out I am allergic to __________ (fill in the blank). Whenever I eat it, it makes me swell up like a balloon."

    (This one is actually true. If you eat too much sugar, fat, etc, you will get fat like a balloon)

    Or you could simply come out and say,

    "Ok look at it this way: If you were running a marathon, I wouldn't keep running in front of you and try to slow you down. I would encourage you to keep on going even when it started to hurt. I wouldn't tell you to just take a break, I would keep pushing you or at the very least, get out of your way. So in terms of the bagel, no it wouldn't kill me, but it will set me back and I am really trying hard to reach a particular finish line. I would really appreciate it if you could respect my decision to not have a bagel."

    That should get them off your back. If not, well I would say the next step would be down right rudeness, but for some people that's what it takes.

    Good luck, hope this helps.

    You are doing great! Stay strong
  • mirandahimmelspeck
    mirandahimmelspeck Posts: 12
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    There is another side to people in offices who comment on people who look thin and thinking that they need to lose weight. How thin people perceive themselves in the mirror when they think that they need to lose weight can be very skewed. There is a woman in our office that is a perfect size 3-4 who is extremely thin but whenever conversation turns to diets she is right there wanting information and jumping in with both feet. I care very much about her but I know that she does not need to lose weight, she needs to excercise to build muscle tone and get fit, but she does not need to lose weight - there is a huge difference there. She gets so obsessed with calories that she consumes that she will eat an apple for lunch and that is it. This is not healthy. It is important to know what a healthy weight is and don't go below it because being under a healthy weight is just as unhealthy as being over it.

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