Someone please help

Even when I weigh 120 pounds and men hit on me constantly, I still think my face is too round and that I am fat.

I acknowledge I kind of have a mental disorder (the things I have done go much deeper than I will post here).

Hey, we're MFP friends. Feel free to message me about it.

Feel free to add me as a friend. We are all here for support regardless of what kind we need at a particular time. Sometimes all we need is someone to listen. We are here for you!

I am the same way. I feel like I am never good enough at what I do or I say the wrong thing. I have always thought I wished I looked like so and so because I don't like the way I look. I don't have any advice for you either, its just the way I have felt since I was a child. So I can relate to you too.

I hate my Body, I am paranoid all time that my Boyfriend will go find someone pretty and thin. It's a real Problem.
though I just started Going to a counselor and she is helping me work out my self issues

OK first of all, you are a beautiful woman....period.
Second, I have to deal with he same thing with my wife. I do not understand it. She is bright, beautiful, fit and people love her, but she makes herself miserable because she thinks of herself as worthless.
I can't tell her enough that is not the case. I am sure it is the same with you.

If anyone out there knows how to cure this affliction, please let me know too. I think too many women out there are suffering with this, and it is a shame to see how it affects them and their relationships.

I'm a big fan of antidepressants. They should put them in the water. Seriously, I suspect we as humans need medication just to live in this crazy world we have created.

Moofey.. I say this with all sincerity... you need to seek counseling if its this overwhelming for you...

Yep, I've been where you are...probably 99.9% of women have.....we all have angry, mean little voices in our heads that tell us nasty things about ourselves. Best thing to do is get counseling to figure out how to deal with those voices, quiet 'em down at least! Anti-depressants for awhile can help you get through the process of figuring it all out. There's a reason you're having a hard time expressing yourself when you feel hurt, etc. Once you figure that out, you'll start building a strong foundation and you'll have a MUCH easier time dealing with the negative and painful thoughts when they turn their ugly heads.

Good luck

Don't feel alone. You can look around at other people and think they must be happy because they have a good job, a loving relationship etc. but they could be feeling the same way you do. So many of us have low self-esteem and feel not good enough, but if we would only open up to each other we would realise how many other people feel exactly the same way, all thinking they were the only one.
I can't tell you how to feel better, if you knew I'd do it myself, and then make a fortune. At least you recognise that it's the way you feel, and not the way it actually is. That's an important difference. Counselling is good, I'm starting on some CBT at the moment with my counsellor, will see how that works out... X

I have good days and I have bad days. I completely understand

I suffered for YEARS and screwed up some pretty important decisions in my life because of low self-esteem. I would have enjoyed life so much more had I not had to deal with all the noise in my head, sadness and irrational thinking. I wish I could say I had an epiphany and woke up one day and it was all gone, but what finally made a HUGE difference in my life was going on a low dose of anti-depressants! It took me a long time to be willing to admit that I would even consider trying them. I thought they were a cop-out and for weak people. Then a few more years passed before I finally tried them. The end result: I realized I should have been on them since my 20s!! :laugh:

Sometimes we women get in over our heads with all the crazy hormones that bounce around in our bodies. I think it has a lot to do with our self-esteem issues. As does messages we got when we were kids.

So my advice to you is give it some time. If the feelings persist and continue to dominate your life and compromise your happiness, talk to a professional. Life is too damn short to waste not enjoying your true beauty, inside and out. :flowerforyou:

I can relate with you as well. I was teased as a young child for being too skinny, by family members. As I ate more and more I entered middle school obese and was then taunted by classmates for years. As I entered high school, I started to become anorexic and went days without eating while using laxatives and diet pills. I just wanted to look pretty. I took my pain overboard and decided to use illegal drugs to stay skinny and to take my pain of mental abuse away. I got pregnant at 17 and very sick. I gained over 120 pounds and for many years decided that being morbidly obese was my way of protecting myself. No one would want to be around me so no one could hurt me. I could tell you more sob stories, but I would rather tell you the positive ones.

I came to a point in my life where "I" decided that "I" needed to learn how to love myself. I was not worthless, ugly, nor unwanted. I was a beautiful person on the inside who needed to find peace and herself. I won't lie and tell you that all of those abusive memories will just vanish, but it's up to you to see the real you inside and bring her outside. You need to focus on the positive things about you and work on all of the things you want to change, and also realize that there are things you can never change, but that is what makes you who you are