Someone please help

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Moofey
Moofey Posts: 444
in Chit-Chat
I am not here fishing for compliments, I just want someone to understand.

I have low self-esteem and its becoming a real problem, affecting my relationships and the way I think. I wish I didn't feel like such a nut case or so abnormal, my boyfriend tries to understand but he can only do so much. I never normally let him know that I hurt or think I am not pretty but keeping it locked up inside hurts so I sometimes do let people know. I don't normally like that type of attention but I am asking for someone here who knows how I feel or used to.

I am not here to get advice on how I should diet or how much I should weigh or to tell me how beautiful I am or I should not feel that way, I am here looking for someone who can relate to me. I am breaking down and no body knows but you guys, please help.
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  • boehle
    boehle Posts: 5,062 Member
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    I think we all have self esteem issues at times hon.
    I come across as one of the most self confident people but I am quite the opposite.
    I hate my body, I hate that I am getting older (I cant change that)!!
    but we are on here to work on ourselves.
    Thats why we have so many great supporters (you already have me!)
    Chin up.
  • Moofey
    Moofey Posts: 444
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    I think we all have self esteem issues at times hon.
    I come across as one of the most self confident people but I am quite the opposite.
    I hate my body, I hate that I am getting older (I cant change that)!!
    but we are on here to work on ourselves.
    Thats why we have so many great supporters (you already have me!)
    Chin up.

    Thank you!
  • glypta
    glypta Posts: 440 Member
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    Yep. fat, ugly, big red hamster-face. Thanks to school bullies and a mean step-dad. It's like Julia Roberts says to Richard Gere in 'Pretty Woman' - the horrible stuff's easier to believe. Or something like that. I have no advice other than to listen to your man who obviously loves you (I'd like to get me one of those) and I can relate.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    Even when I weigh 120 pounds and men hit on me constantly, I still think my face is too round and that I am fat.

    I acknowledge I kind of have a mental disorder (the things I have done go much deeper than I will post here).

    Hey, we're MFP friends. Feel free to message me about it.
  • LizC26
    LizC26 Posts: 319 Member
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    I wish I could tell you that it just gets better as you grow up....but it hasn't for me....I know I have really low self-esteem...I'm not really sure what you/or I can do about it, but I do understand how you feel :(
  • cpegasus01
    cpegasus01 Posts: 400 Member
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    Feel free to add me as a friend. We are all here for support regardless of what kind we need at a particular time. Sometimes all we need is someone to listen. We are here for you!
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
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    ermmmmm yer mad hot
  • sharonsjones
    sharonsjones Posts: 574 Member
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    I am the same way. I feel like I am never good enough at what I do or I say the wrong thing. I have always thought I wished I looked like so and so because I don't like the way I look. I don't have any advice for you either, its just the way I have felt since I was a child. So I can relate to you too.
  • mmelledge
    mmelledge Posts: 150
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    Consider talking to a therapist. One you really "click" with can be a lifesaver. If you're in NE Ohio I can recommend lol!

    Check this out, too... affirmations might seem cheesy at first, but you'd be amazed. I have a really cute jar next to my bed with a bunch of affirmations on little pieces of paper so I can grab a random one at any time!

    http://dailyaffirmation.org/
  • Moofey
    Moofey Posts: 444
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    ermmmmm yer mad hot

    LOL, THANK YOU!! :D
  • TigerBlood72
    TigerBlood72 Posts: 88 Member
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    My wife had these issues for most of our 15 years of Marriage. She's is and always has been fit, athletic, talented, and beautiful inside and out. Her problems stemmed from past abuse. Through professional help and I've gone through this with her ever step of the way and she's has overcome this... other than a few rare flare-ups. Look deep at why you may feel this way and attack it. Don't go through life feeling this way... it would be such a waste. Find supporting friends and males in your life, not ones that will fuel this.

    That's my thoughts. Keep your head up.
  • monocot
    monocot Posts: 475 Member
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    I hate my Body, I am paranoid all time that my Boyfriend will go find someone pretty and thin. It's a real Problem.
    though I just started Going to a counselor and she is helping me work out my self issues
  • tbudge
    tbudge Posts: 114
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    You are 21 and have 8 pounds to lose...you are a beautiful young lady with what sounds like a loving young man in your life. You still have your whole life ahead of you!
    You are in some years that are still confusing but they are almost over. Life is way too short to be this depressed! Get out there and live!!!! Trust me, in 15 years you will look back and wish you could do it all differently if you don't! Live your life now so that you can look back and be proud of what you've accomplished!!! Stop being this victim that you have created in your own head! Be a strong, independent young woman with nothing to lose and nothing to stop you!!!! Time isn't going to stop, or back up, or give you a "do over"...it's going to just pass...what you do with that time is totally up to you, and only you! No one on here or anywhere else in your life can make anything good, or better or work for you, only you!!!!
    So, what are you going to make of this day, and then tomorrow, and then next year and so on???? Go make some realistic goals, and go achieve them!!!
  • daves160
    daves160 Posts: 600
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    OK first of all, you are a beautiful woman....period.
    Second, I have to deal with he same thing with my wife. I do not understand it. She is bright, beautiful, fit and people love her, but she makes herself miserable because she thinks of herself as worthless.
    I can't tell her enough that is not the case. I am sure it is the same with you.

    If anyone out there knows how to cure this affliction, please let me know too. I think too many women out there are suffering with this, and it is a shame to see how it affects them and their relationships.
  • LaDiablesse
    LaDiablesse Posts: 862 Member
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    I'm right there with you. I wish I had an answer on how to "fix" it, but I wouldn't have the same problem if I did. I know parts of where my issues came from, & am trying to work through them. I only see the flaws & can't imagine what people paying me compliments are thinking or seeing. I just figure they're just being nice.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    I'm a big fan of antidepressants. They should put them in the water. Seriously, I suspect we as humans need medication just to live in this crazy world we have created.
  • natyshia
    natyshia Posts: 6 Member
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    I used to be skinny but 3 kids later, i am far from it. I used to beat myself up about it all of the time. Honey, you arent living life until you can learn to accept yourself. u need to work on that first before anything. You have a man that loves you, but I can honestly say without sugar coating anything, men are most attracted to women who are confident and dont have low self-esteem. That is word of advice relationshipwise. Another thing, imperfection is the perfect type of person. You must face the fact that we are all not built the same. Done expect yourself to look like a pamela anderson because even she is fake. Its all about the inside and if you beat yourself up too hard over things that you can change (but cant find the means to do it), and things that you cant, then you must seek some professional help and may even need to start taking antidepressants. there isnt anything wrong with taking medication for your depression because that is what it sounds like you may have. You must take care of you first!
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    Moofey.. I say this with all sincerity... you need to seek counseling if its this overwhelming for you...
  • Moofey
    Moofey Posts: 444
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    I rarely feel this down on myself, its just the occasional flare up but still they hurt...
  • jeannine71
    jeannine71 Posts: 66 Member
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    Yep, I've been where you are...probably 99.9% of women have.....we all have angry, mean little voices in our heads that tell us nasty things about ourselves. Best thing to do is get counseling to figure out how to deal with those voices, quiet 'em down at least! Anti-depressants for awhile can help you get through the process of figuring it all out. There's a reason you're having a hard time expressing yourself when you feel hurt, etc. Once you figure that out, you'll start building a strong foundation and you'll have a MUCH easier time dealing with the negative and painful thoughts when they turn their ugly heads.

    Good luck :)

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