Why don't people get it?

I had a friend who constantly tried to push food on me. He had hyperthyroid himself, could eat whatever he wanted and still looked like a stick figure (he wasn't very healthy overall though). And over time it became a real issue between us. It made me aggressive that he didn't except my decision to eat healthy, and he became very offended when I declined a cookie or only ordered fruit salad with yogurt when he got a meat pie with gravy.

In his case he wasn't trying to show love through food, nor was it jealousy at my diet success and self-discipline. It felt simply like he was trying to force his way of seeing things and his own twisted attitude towards food on me. He accused me of depriving myself, of not enjoying my life because I'd rather have a pear and some green tea instead of fatty chocolate cake. I tried to explain that I'd actually come to the point where I CRAVE some fruit and genuinely don't feel hungry for chocolate, but he refused to accept it.

In the end I distanced myself from him and made sure we only hung out in non-food-related contexts, although it made me sad.

It's true that it's always YOU who has to have the discipline to say no, and if you can't, don't blame others for your failure to stick to a healthy diet. BUT it is also true that some people make it unnecessarily hard on those of us who've made a constant choice and try to maintain a healthy way of eating and exercising.

Work is tough. Food is a social thing. If someones not partaking, then it's like some negative judgement is being passed in one direction or the other. It's stupid and annoying. Totally understand about caving after a while - you're just thinking about it more and more and you just want them to shut the F* up!

I heard about something from a magazine where you can scoop out some of the bread from the bagel to help bring down the calories. Apparently there's even a special "bagel scoop" tool you can get (which I think is just silly - you can use a spoon or your fingers.)

HANG IN THERE!

I understand exactly how you feel! My friends and family haven't been very supportive. I don't have a lot of weight to lose but like you I just want to lose the fat and get in better shape and just be healthier. They don't seem to understand that I am uncomfortable where I am now and that I am doing it for me.

some people are just natural food pushers. like my m-i-l. she lost 90lbs to get to her goal and now all of the foods she would have eaten in her fat days she still buys and brings to my house for my hubby and kids. i am almost 1/2 way to goal having lost 37lbs and I DON'T WANT TO EAT ALL OF THE JUNK SHE BUYS!!!!

as for bagel day at work? i bring a light english muffin and sprinkle some of the everything bagel topping from the bag on my EM before putting my light cream cheese (or whatever) on it. I still get the bagel flavor in a 90 cal. EM.

i SO understand even though i really have no advice for you. just stand strong and tell you boss he/she can have your bagel too.

How about putting a huge note on your desk (or your forehead for emphasis ) that says "I DON'T WANT A DAMN BAGEL!"

this.lol

"If everyone eats one then its okay for me too eat one too" . If your making a choice not to, it makes then rethink if they should. Some people don't like seeing others make good choices when they might not be making the right ones themselves.

i feel the same way. i get so much grief at work for eating right... i think others secretly want to set you up for failure because of jealousy. they wish they could be as dedicated to health as you are being.

I used to get this a lot but now people just know that I eat differently and if they'd like a debate on the subject, they know I'll win.
When people comment on the food choices I make or don't make, I always reply with, "would you like me to talk about what your eating?" You know they don't want to hear about the poor choices they are making, that is why they are trying to get you to give in on the bagel; so they can feel better about their bad choices. By you making good choices, they are feeling guilty. They'd rather see you give-in then them give-up the bad stuff.

So, I'd go that route of replying, "would you like me to comment on your food?" That should stop them. If they insist on you eating their crap, then I would FIRST insist on them eating your way for 1-week, THEN, you'll enjoy the bagel. Odds are, they'll just walk away. It's all about calling their bluff and making them aware that it's THEIR bad choice and YOUR good choice. Bottom line, everyone has a choice. Stick to your guns!

Tell them bagels give you gas. They won't ever ask you again.

How about putting a huge note on your desk (or your forehead for emphasis ) that says "I DON'T WANT A DAMN BAGEL!"

Hmmmm I like this idea... Maybe I'll change the signature on my e-mails to say something to this effect

hahhaha this is the best solution so far, made me laugh!

And yeah I totally hear you. I disagree with whoever said these people have good intentions! Their intentions always feel malicious and sabotage-oriented to me. Although I guess I'm not a very reliable judge of character, because I have never personally tried to force someone to eat something after they said no the first time, so I have no clue where these people get such ideas and what motives are behind them. Quite curious, really.

i think its a combination of things. As ppl have said, most ppl have good intentions and dont want to see you starve yourself. They enjoy it and they want you to enjoy it to. And i think there is still a massive stigma with "dieting" - that ur eating only celery and exercise 10 hrs a day and other ridiculous extremes that ppl associate with weight loss. If your "dieting" your depriving your body, going on a crazy fad etc. and i have found as well alot of ppl think that, unless ur morbiely obesse, you are "dieting" for shallow reasons, theres a persception that "average/overweight" ppl dont exercise to be healthty they exercise to look good, cause whats so unhealthhy about being a little overwewight? its only bad wen ur out of control and obesse. well thats what i have found ppl think in any case. i dont think its intentional its just a perception thing. and its ok for "average" ppl to have just one bagel and "light" cream cheese. and since you are not "obesse" then its ok for you to have it, and have a break from ur "horrible diet".

i mean none of this is my opinion, but i think this is how a lot of other ppl think...

I just take the food and throw it in the trash at my desk. LOL

After a while they leave you alone b/c people get pissed when you start throwing treats away.