My 12 yr old daughter wants to be on MFP

SunLove8
SunLove8 Posts: 693 Member
edited October 4 in Health and Weight Loss
I'm a bit concerned with my kiddo. She asked me last night out of nowhere if she can join and start counting calories so she doesn't over eat (I don't think she overeats but just sometimes she's more hungry than usual probley because of growing and hormones). She is not overweight according to her Doctor but she is in the higher percentile (always has been since a baby). I told her that I would not give in to pop tarts and junk food (my bad at times!) if she was wanting to get healthy, but I didn't think that counting calories is something she needs to worry about. I'm worried that she has a low self image although she says she doesn't and that perhaps her seeing me lose weight and being on here makes her want to follow my steps. What are your thoughts?
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Replies

  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
    Does she play sports? If not, tell her to join so she doesnt need to worry about calories. If she is not over weight - at that age there shouldnt be any need what so ever to count calories. But, I know with the world today who knows.

    When I was that age I played competitive basketball and soccer year around so I was eating like a maniac
  • khk2010
    khk2010 Posts: 451 Member
    Tough one. There is so much pressure on kids. I'd encourage her to get into a sport or something that focuses on fitness and athletics over weight and calories.
  • Maria_Goose
    Maria_Goose Posts: 247
    Personally I'd say pounce on this opportunity to teach your daughter about eating healthy! I know I would have appreciated it if my parents had taught me better as they raised me (I still love them so!). Just set it to make sure she doesn't lose weight. I'd supervise it.
  • kennie2
    kennie2 Posts: 1,170 Member
    why dont you do it for her?
  • MinnesotaManimal
    MinnesotaManimal Posts: 642 Member
    With the level of imaturity that tends to show up on this site, I think I would hesitate to allow my own child to come on here. BUT that being said, it probably is nothing worse than they would hear in school.

    Learning a healthy lifestyle would be one of the better traits that a child could immitate from their elders. Just moniter her and make sure she does not go over board!
  • iFeelBrandNew
    iFeelBrandNew Posts: 263 Member
    i say let her go for it. i find that if you shelter children and tell them no about things, it makes them want to do it even more. let her try it out. start out at .5 pound a week, or even maintenance. she will probably get sick of it, and get over the phase. plus, this site isnt only about weight loss, its about being healthy! and id rather my kids join myfitnesspal than facebook or myspace at this point! ;) lol
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    The site is for people over 18.

    I would encourage her to be more active instead and focus on the fitness aspect of it, rather than weight.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    My 8 yr old wanted to be on MFP too. I told her that the site probably wouldn't allow it. But I don't necessarily think it is a bad idea to teach them about tracking their food. It helps them learn early on about moderation and portion control. And someone posted a study on here the other day that people that keep food diaries have a higher success rate of sustaining long-term weight loss. Why not teach them a good habit early on? Maybe you could give her a paper diary to track her calories and just used the database to look up foods for her.
  • cessnaholly
    cessnaholly Posts: 780 Member
    She defintely doesn't need to count calories but maybe you can use this as a good way to demonstrate healthy eating and the differences between eating healthy and eating junk. But it does sound like a normal teen girl starting to worry over nothing at this point. But to down-play it as nothing or not necessary might make her feel like you aren't taking her issue seriously. Maybe have her do a health project or something like that, or keep her own food journal for 2 months or something?
  • CBKMom
    CBKMom Posts: 59 Member
    I think that talking with her and then setting a healthy calorie goal is ok. Then she can see what that junk food choices are doing. Soon enough she is going to be in High school and those choices will starting sticking in places she does not like.
    I think having her be aware of the choices that she makes - healthy vs junk is great.

    Use it as a teaching tool. Make a fantasty meal of fast food and a real meal. Show her how real food is better and to make great choices.

    Just my opinion of course.
  • casi_ann
    casi_ann Posts: 423 Member
    Ask the doctor what he thinks. Most kids don't have to count calories and I'd be afraid that this would cause her to focus on foods too much. I didn't start gaining weight until I started worrying about diets.
  • lhurtubise
    lhurtubise Posts: 693 Member
    Tough call. My children are still small so I can't say for sure what I would do, but maybe a good option would be to help her count her calories without letting her on MFP. I think so inappropriate things happen on this site sometimes and she doesn't really need access to all of that. I know after several months of tracking I can tell you how many calories are in just about everything I eat without looking it up. I think its awesome that she wants to be healthier and even though she's not overweight maybe tracking calories will help her to make healthier choices or realize that some of things she eats are not s healthy. Not sure if my response is helpful, but its just my two cents. In the end the decision is yours as her mom. Also it might be fun it you exercised together! Good Luck
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    The site is for people over 18.

    I would encourage her to be more active instead and focus on the fitness aspect of it, rather than weight.

    This.
  • ♥_Ellybean_♥
    ♥_Ellybean_♥ Posts: 1,646 Member
    ughm no... She is 12.. she should be worried about school and learning to love the person she is, not obsessed about her weight.
  • newdaynewme
    newdaynewme Posts: 77 Member
    It's good that she wants to be healhier and more aware of what she is eating and how much, but for ME I would say no bc I would want her to focus on other things instead of stressing over having to calorie count. outside of mfp continue implementing fruits/veggies etc and when she's older if she still wants to join then sure! but for her age, its not something I would want my child to become obsessed with just yet.. plus a lot of the forum discussions you probably dont want her to read =) good luck
  • yager8725
    yager8725 Posts: 267 Member
    Instead of counting calories i have my son keep track of serving sizes. That way he is learning control now without being hung up on calories. Super interesting to learn serving sizes and easy for them to do on their own. I tell my son we can have ALMOST anything we want but only 1 serving size.
  • elizahbeth
    elizahbeth Posts: 21
    You are the most influential person in her life and always willbe.

    If she sees and knows you are countin every cal in every mouthful, she will worry that she should be doin the same, or that she will have to someday, just like you do.
  • Cakepiebeer
    Cakepiebeer Posts: 392
    man.. Kids dont need to count calories.. they just need to stay active. But I agree, now would be a perfect time to show her the way to healthy foods
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
    well....it isn't neccessarily a bad thing....if she can give you 3 to 5 sound and well balanced reasons why she wants to join i'd say yes.....at her age what she sees you doing she naturally will want to do....and if she begins good health and eating habits now.....she will grow with that all her life......i would definitely get her to foucus on nutrition and exercise and other things besides calories....help her see the whole picture
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
    A kid is never too young to learn to eat healthy, but I think it's way too young to be counting calories. Maybe try telling her that as someone who is still growing a developing, she needs certain foods that you don't so restricting what she eats isn't good for her. However let her follow your example of eating well and exercising. Does she play any sports? Do you get physical activity as a family (go for walks, play in the yard)?

    It's a tough one, my 14 year old neice was just diagnosed with bulemia, so a child expressing too much interest in being skinny and counting calories is worrisome for sure. Maybe try to talk to her about what she thinks is healthy and go from there.
  • TriumphNow
    TriumphNow Posts: 526 Member
    I would encourage her to eat healthy and stay active. I think counting calories at her age is too much, especially if she's not overweight. I love MFP but I think it's too much for a 12 year old, especially a lot of the posts on the message boards.
  • Taskcr
    Taskcr Posts: 25
    I've learned so much more from this site than just counting calories, its a whole life style change. You learn portion control and just eating healthy in general! I would talk with her doctor and ask how many calories she should be consuming in a day and help her create a mfp and do it with her! So you make sure she is eating the right amount of calories and getting all the nutrients she needs! Make it fun for you and her to do together <3 Plus she will learn so much from this, that she will carry with her forever. Good luck!
  • Jennloella
    Jennloella Posts: 2,286 Member
    I think there's too much BS on this site for someone that young, I'd tell her to get a good old fashioned pen and paper and keep track of it that way, nothing wrong with her being more aware of what she's putting in her body (I wish I had been taught when I was younger) there's also other sites that are free and strictly calorie counting, without the message boards and "friends" feature, if that's really all she wants to do....
  • asyouseefit
    asyouseefit Posts: 1,265 Member
    Big no-no. Girls that age shouldn't obsess over calories and, let's be honest, we all do obsess about calories here. Or almost all.
    Encourage her to eat healthy and to play sports, she should be fine!
  • KavemanKarg
    KavemanKarg Posts: 266
    I say let her do it.

    It is time consuming and boring and she will move on quick ;)
  • lottycat
    lottycat Posts: 333 Member
    Gosh, that's an interesting thought. I'd agree with you that she should probably stay off this site for a couple more years. I mean I'm 28, generally pretty happy with my appearance and generally confident. Buuut even I'm inclined to get a little obsessed sometimes, and need to remind myself that going over by a little here and there isn't the end of the world. So it must be even more difficult for a 12 year old, who is going through all the normal stresses and strains of that testing time of life.

    I think the answer is to just try and teach her all the stuff your learning from this site, make sure she eats healthy 80% of the time and keep reminding her just how beautiful she is.

    On the plus side, it's fantastic that she's taking an interest in her health and fitness - you are obviously setting a great example. :)
  • Tiffanydepiano
    Tiffanydepiano Posts: 169 Member
    I think she has to be 18 to be on MFP unless you make her a phony account.
    I'll bet there are some cool fitness and healthy living sites for kids and teens that might work for her.
    Maybe Google some and see if there is one that she likes.

    Some folks on this site (myself included at times) can get somewhat inappropriate for pre teens.
  • SunLove8
    SunLove8 Posts: 693 Member
    What a great bunch of responses, thank you. She tried out for Volleyball this year for her school but didn't make it although she is really good. She'll be starting at the park and rec in Feb of 2012. She wanted to do guitar lessons so that is what she is doing right now. She's constantly walking and playing with our dog and as a family we stay active too. She also runs a lot in P.E. She refuses to play soccer anymore, basketball, etc. She only wants to play volleyball. I will go back to only having good foods in the house. Maybe I should show her myfoodpyramid.com...hmmm.
  • SPheonix22
    SPheonix22 Posts: 90 Member
    You could let her on. Find the goal ranges for her growth( She shoul be gaining....not losin, of course) and let her chart it. At the very least she'll learn about food, and simply because of some of the things people say you might want to be there with her while shes on it. Trust me MFP is wayyyy better for her than facebook.
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
    At 12 your just as vulnerable to like media perfection as you are at any age.
    If not more because ur not fully a woman so u still look a bit like a bloke.
    I can understand why she would care Alot about her weight, etc..
    Especially how harsh kids can be in primary and secondary school..

    But i dont think counting calories is the right way to go about it.
    At her age i cared about my weight, but i felt i could trust my perants to feed me right and to make sure i ate healthily and maintained a good size. (turned out i was wrong, my mum would feed me Massive portions and be livid if i couldnt eat it all. which sometimes ended in me throwing up because id stuffed too much food in my mouth..).
    But thats getting off the topic.
    I think aslong as ur not a plonker when it comes to my food, like my mum was, your daughter should be able to trust that your making the right decisions for her to be thin, while being in the healthy bmi range.
    Teach her how to eat healthy, and explain that calories isnt the most important part.
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