My 12 yr old daughter wants to be on MFP

Options
1235

Replies

  • mscoco10
    mscoco10 Posts: 527 Member
    Options
    Nothing wrong with learning about eating healthy but MFP at 12 is a little too young. I say try a alternative route to help her keep up with what she's eating and exercise. You could use this as a bonding time to workout and cook together. Focus on health and not so much calories.
  • mleoni092708
    mleoni092708 Posts: 629 Member
    Options
    Thank you for all the POSITIVE comments and those who actually read what I was saying without assuming things. I'm done with ever posting on MFP again. Everytime I do I get so much negative that I actually feel worse than I did before I posted. Some people need to gain some manners. Thank you again to all of those who gave a kind response and advice, I will take them to heart. I'm not posting on this anymore. Take care XO

    I'm sorry people are so judgemental. I get what you were asking. You know what's best for your child and that's what you'll do. Don't pay any attention to the not so kind remarks.
  • MotherOfTwins2010
    MotherOfTwins2010 Posts: 14 Member
    Options
    I suffered through a terrible eating disorder that almost killed me and I think had I had this site when it started I would be dead. It's a great tool for adults to get into shape but it's a dangerous tool for girls at 12. Maybe try talking to her about what's going on in her life see what is really behind this desire to count calories and if you think she has low self esteem have her see a therapist, don't just ask her she may say what she thinks you want to hear or just not understand what you mean. My eating disorder started at 11 no one around that age should be counting calories it's very dangerous.
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
    Options
    I'm a bit concerned with my kiddo. She asked me last night out of nowhere if she can join and start counting calories so she doesn't over eat (I don't think she overeats but just sometimes she's more hungry than usual probley because of growing and hormones). She is not overweight according to her Doctor but she is in the higher percentile (always has been since a baby). I told her that I would not give in to pop tarts and junk food (my bad at times!) if she was wanting to get healthy, but I didn't think that counting calories is something she needs to worry about. I'm worried that she has a low self image although she says she doesn't and that perhaps her seeing me lose weight and being on here makes her want to follow my steps. What are your thoughts?

    I have not read all the replies at this point - and am getting ready to run out the door, but wanted to reply. MFP is not intended for children. The necessary caloric intake for a child is much different than it is for an adult. So much so that I had a very difficult time getting my son's doctor to give us a ballpark (within 1000) of how many calories he should be eating.

    The fact is that at this age - there is no way to give an actual number of calories that they should be eating... there are too many variables. Where are they in their growth pattern, how active are they... and the activity level changes on a day to day basis.

    FAR better to concentrate on making good food choices and not worrying about how much of it she's eating. It's really hard to overeat on fresh fruit!

    It also sounds like you need to talk to her about body image... about being happy with her body. Stress to her that you are doing this for your HEALTH. Make her your workout buddy and tell her how much you wish you had started at her age to be active and stay active.

    Focus on activity and eating well - not counting calories. It's okay to eat some things that are unhealthy... but in moderation. Also, just let her know that there are a lot of things on MFP that are just not appropriate for a 12 year old!
  • thirtyandthriving
    thirtyandthriving Posts: 613 Member
    Options
    If my daughter came to me and asked to be on MFP this would be my response:
    I have to be on MFP because I was not taught about basic nutrition or self control. I am on here to learn and to better myself so that I can teach you about proper nutrition so you will not have to worry about these things when you are my age.
  • KayteeBear
    KayteeBear Posts: 1,040 Member
    Options
    Don't let her count calories but use this as a teacher opportunity to help her make better choices and telling her why certain things are better and also trying to emphasize the fitness aspect more so. Exercises is waaaay more important than calorie counting at that age.

    Or if she really, really wants to count calories (which is kind of bad if she's desperate to do so) tell her that you'll help her do that yourself instead of a website but try to get her to focus on the nutrition in the foods rather than the calories.
  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
    Options
    I say no.
    Obviously teach her healthy eating with an active lifestyle. That age, unless they are overweight, should not be dieting, they are still growing. Absolutely encourage her getting into sports and such.
  • mssygayle
    mssygayle Posts: 21 Member
    Options
    mom of three ten age daughters, a lot of teen angst is there and worry over looks is a big thing at her age, make sure she enjoys sports enroll her in plenty of calories burning activities and let her be herself .. her weight will really flucuate right now but she really does not need to count calories, just make sure she eats the right way and she will learn to watch on her own
  • vdegraff
    vdegraff Posts: 87 Member
    Options
    As others have stated, MFP is for individuals over the age of 18. Also, until your child completes puberty, doctors advise that they should not concentrate on calories in and calories out.

    HOWEVER, this site has taught me a lot about moderation and accountability. I don't think these are bad values to learn at age 12 at all. Also, the MFP App is so easy to use. Kids at this age have ipods and smart phones, so using the add would be easy. Soooo while MFP is not for kids, maybe you can find a similar app that she can use. Again, its not about calories in and calories out, but her focus CAN be on what she's eating and her serving sizes.

    The other thing, when you take your child to the doctor, and they ask about your child's eating habits, you can easily share this with them.

    OFF TOPIC: If your daughter has started her menses, then it's good to have her use an App for this. It helps a lot . . .
  • sara709
    sara709 Posts: 170 Member
    Options
    Personally I'd say pounce on this opportunity to teach your daughter about eating healthy! I know I would have appreciated it if my parents had taught me better as they raised me (I still love them so!). Just set it to make sure she doesn't lose weight. I'd supervise it.

    I'm on this side. As a kid who had an eating disorder from age 13 - 23, I think I would have appreciated knowing more about the food I ate. More importantly, you could show her the importance of being healthy and being physically active. Talk with a doctor or nutritionist and find out what a healthy caloric intake for her age is and set the account to her getting that many calories a day. I would also make sure that it was something you did together. After you have a meal or exercise together, you could log on and enter your info. Maybe you could set up the account but don't give her the password? Kids are tech savvy. If you don't do it with her and it's something she really wants, she'll find a way to do it on her own - and that is potentially dangerous. Trust me, been there.

    She might even find it to be too much work and quit after a couple of days or weeks. Never know!
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Options
    I'm a bit concerned with my kiddo. She asked me last night out of nowhere if she can join and start counting calories so she doesn't over eat (I don't think she overeats but just sometimes she's more hungry than usual probley because of growing and hormones). She is not overweight according to her Doctor but she is in the higher percentile (always has been since a baby). I told her that I would not give in to pop tarts and junk food (my bad at times!) if she was wanting to get healthy, but I didn't think that counting calories is something she needs to worry about. I'm worried that she has a low self image although she says she doesn't and that perhaps her seeing me lose weight and being on here makes her want to follow my steps. What are your thoughts?
    Awesome that your kid wants to be healthy. I'd focus on that - the being HEALTHY part, maybe more than losing weight. Are you at maintenance? Still trying to lose? I ask because I know that my weight loss brings a lot of attention to food, being "fat", making changes, etc. at our house.

    Advice from one parent to another (my girls are 7 and almost 10): Eat healthy food with your daughter. Continue to talk to her about her body image/low self esteem - not that phrasing, but address those things directly in comfortable language for both of you. If possible, separate that discussion from healthy eating. That's cool that she recognizes your healthy choices and wants to be healthy like mom. This could be a great opportunity to bond/further develop the relationship with her.

    MyFitnessPal is not a site for children. The rules clearly state this, but even more than that, I see very little here that is uniquely beneficial to anyone under the age of 18. Kids can get support, nutritional info, community interaction, etc. on other sites. There are better nutrition tools on the Internet if that's what she really wants to do. But the forum community isn't going to be OK for kids. You know that, though. Also, counting calories at 12 seems like it could foster too much focus on food/weight issues. There is potential for more serious issues later.

    Rather than simply saying No! to MFP, why don't you help her find other tools that might work for her? You have your resource, she can have hers. It might give her a sense of ownership that she needs. Maybe a kid-centric website with exercise ideas and nutritional guidance would be better.

    I tried reading through all the comments so far, and it looks like a lot of good advice. Note that you are putting something very personal out there on the Interwebs (child-raising) and you are going to get advice that you may not like. Don't take it personally. Ignore what doesn't fit, while trying to keep an open mind, and try to absorb the helpful stuff.
  • JennW130
    JennW130 Posts: 460 Member
    Options
    I'd make her a chart kind of like the old WW's booklets where you have boxes for the required number of fruits in a day, the required number of veggies in a day, dairy/protein/carbs/fats and make it age appropriate for her requirements. Then she can fill in the boxes throughout the day and get a general idea of what she needs to keep her body fueled appropriately.

    It's easier for her because it's more visual and it focuses on teaching her that she needs to eat from all categories but not the same number of servings in each.

    Love this idea, Ms Julie!! I'm going to do this with my daughter.
    thats a really good idea.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    Options
    Counting calories is like budgeting your money. Never too early to start. Plus, it gives you a realistic picture of what you're eating rather than the unrealistic picture we cook up in our heads.
  • Molly_Louise
    Molly_Louise Posts: 503
    Options
    If I were you, I'd encourage her to take up a sport before calorie counting. That way she can take part in exercise and lose weight if she wants too. Make her aware of the foods she's eating as well, she's more likely to make healthier and better choices in the future if she knows what goes into what goes into her.

    This is a tough one though, because when I was 12 years old, a site like MFP would have changed my life completely as that's when my weight began to spiral out of control, but if I had been encouraged to take up sports things may have been different.
  • 16mixingbowls
    16mixingbowls Posts: 205 Member
    Options
    I didn't get to read the other replies on this but I DO think it might be helpful to plug in one typical day's food choices to show her that she IS eating healthy. The media is all about nutrition and fad diets and allergies, so maybe she's curious. I don't think I'd let her do it daily though.

    Curious to come home from work and read all of the replies.
  • istalkzombies
    istalkzombies Posts: 344 Member
    Options
    I'd make her a chart kind of like the old WW's booklets where you have boxes for the required number of fruits in a day, the required number of veggies in a day, dairy/protein/carbs/fats and make it age appropriate for her requirements. Then she can fill in the boxes throughout the day and get a general idea of what she needs to keep her body fueled appropriately.

    It's easier for her because it's more visual and it focuses on teaching her that she needs to eat from all categories but not the same number of servings in each.

    Love this idea, Ms Julie!! I'm going to do this with my daughter.
    thats a really good idea.

    For a kid this is great idea imo, at 12 years old I wouldnt really get too into the counting calories but I would teach her about calories and about watching them so as she gets old she's more aware of them
  • Ange_
    Ange_ Posts: 324 Member
    Options
    there are too many posts on here now to read them all so sorry if someone already says this.

    Studies show that if you diet from a young age you are more likely to be obese when you're older. It screws around with your metabolism, and i doubt a 12 year old would be able to negotiate the good advice from the crap on this site and would likely fall into the trap of starving herself. And there is also the risk of anorexia as well which is so common among teenage girls these days!
    I agree with what everyone is saying about getting her to be more active, and incorporating more healthy foods. But if she is hungry she definitely should eat she is in or about to get into her biggest growth phase since she was a baby.

    I've actually stopped counting calories as i got unhealthily obsessed with it. I just now use this site for the support network. I focus on eating the healthiest, natural most nutritious food i can and exercising around every second day or so. I realise that approach isn't for everyone, but it probably is the one your daughter should be taking.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Options
    I agree that she's too young to count calories but it sounds like a great time to build her up and make her feel good about herself-- point out and brag on any good fitness choices she makes. But also remember it's a formative stage-- I remember vividly that my mom pointed out that I had cellulite when I was a young teenager and it definitely had a negative impact on our relationship. You don't want her to feel like she's failing YOU if she eats an ice cream sundae, you want her to feel great about all aspects of herself, including her body, and set her up for a lifetime of not having to "diet."
  • tracy337
    tracy337 Posts: 199 Member
    Options
    I know what you mean, my son is 15 and wants to be on here, but big difference is my son is over weight. I will not allow him on here since this is for persons over 18 but even if it allowed minors I still wouldn't do it. Instead I talk to him about how he can make better choices at school. It sucks cause I can't afford to pack his lunch for him so he has to rely on free lunch provided by the school. But I sat down with him and went over the daily menu with him and pointed out the best choices, ones that are not the best, but not too bad, and the ones he should ALWAYS stay away from like fried stuff. I include him in my work outs and if he doesn't want to I let him borrow my kick boxing dvd and other so he can do it in privacy if he chooses. I know I have found I work out better alone ( the gym is fine, I am talking more like a friend since I like to chat lol and that usually ends up slowing me down lol) I give him tools he needs to get in shape without obsessing about calories. BUT he only needs to lose maybe 20-30 pounds. If he was 75 ore more then depending on how much he needed to lose I would incorporate watching calories but only to a point. Since your daughter isn't overweight at all then just inviting her to work out with you, walking with you, getting involved in sports or dance or family hiking ect.
  • RockHardAngel_777
    RockHardAngel_777 Posts: 68
    Options
    I would agree with those that say this might be a little too grown up of a site to be on, BUT I think it would be awesome of you to make a little calorie counter chart for her. Include fitness goals and healthy ways for her to be "fit". I think that would just be so much fun for her cause she would be a part of your "health and fitness world" but not be subjected to the criticism we as adults know is ok to hear (for our own good) in which children would not understand at times. Hey it might even help you with your goals as well, I think that would just be awesome of you! Hope you figure out and do whatever works for you and that sweet pea of yours.

Categories