Is a divorced woman/single mother less attractive?

245

Replies

  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    BTW
    Let me clarify

    I am quite confident in myself and being a single mother, as I think we all should be.





    I posted this in response to the "Divorced male" thread because why not... thought it might bring up interesting discussion.
  • PBJunky
    PBJunky Posts: 737 Member
    Divorced woman would be fine if it's one divorce, more than that I'd have to think about it.

    Single mom would be fine if I wanted kids, but since I don't, I would not date her.

    pfffft you are telling me you won't date someone like Jennifer Aniston even if she had kids??
  • Miss_Chievous_wechange
    Miss_Chievous_wechange Posts: 1,230 Member
    < ---- I think I look pretty f*cking attractive. That is all.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    Turnabout is fairplay.

    i know i'm about to get sooooo much hate mail for this but ---- i agree.





    i will not date you seriously if you have kids. and if i do? *whispers... (then i'm probably just sticking around for the sleepovers)

    hate if you want, it's the truth.
    Who can hate that? It's the truth? If you aren't comfortable with something, you aren't.
  • Shanna_Inc86
    Shanna_Inc86 Posts: 781 Member
    The biggest problem I've run into is the time thing.
    I can't and WON'T go out during the week, that's my time with my daughter
    NO I'm not just shoving her off on grandma and grandpa...I kinda like her like A LOT

    I have like one day a week that I can consistently see a guy and most men are big babies who need more attention than that :laugh:
  • PBJunky
    PBJunky Posts: 737 Member
    < ---- I think I look pretty f*cking attractive. That is all.

    =) Yes you do
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    Depends on the age range I guess.

    It's probably harder for younger single moms (less than 30) I would guess.
    I suspect in their 30s, lots of people are trying to settle down, so men would be less "bothered" by the fact that the miss is also a mum.

    I personally don't really want to deal with single mums at this stage (I mean having them as girlfriends, friends is fine) - but then again never say never right? It just feels this would be much more of a "pain" for me to have to "compete" for attention "against" the child (or even night outs, etc). Child who I completely appreciate should come before me. Then again, I am rather independent, so I would just ask for troubles going into this kind of relationship.
    (hope I did not sound rude, just trying to explain what crosses my mind)
  • jamesdelong
    jamesdelong Posts: 177 Member
    Not at all.. the last two relationships I was in both had children. I'm attracted to what I am attracted to regardless of the situation.

    However the ones I dated that didn't have children I was able to do more spontaneous things with.
    But to answer the question.. Nope children or divorced doesn't make anyone less attractive in my eyes.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    All things being equal, yes. But when are all things equal in love? You find the right girl and she's got a kid, you don't just keep looking.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Divorced woman would be fine if it's one divorce, more than that I'd have to think about it.

    Single mom would be fine if I wanted kids, but since I don't, I would not date her.

    OK, but what about this? I'm a single mom, but my one and only child (and I don't want more) is 17 and a senior in high school. She still lives with me, but she's pretty much an adult at this point. A lot less responsibility on my part, she's pretty much raised.

    So, would you write off a woman like me if you liked everything else about her? There are degrees of "single mom," so saying you wouldn't date one because you don't want kids doesn't really cover it all.
  • joejccva71
    joejccva71 Posts: 2,985 Member
    No a divorced woman/single mother is not less attractive. I've dated women that were single mothers, and it was fine.
  • PBJunky
    PBJunky Posts: 737 Member
    Divorced woman would be fine if it's one divorce, more than that I'd have to think about it.

    Single mom would be fine if I wanted kids, but since I don't, I would not date her.

    OK, but what about this? I'm a single mom, but my one and only child (and I don't want more) is 17 and a senior in high school. She still lives with me, but she's pretty much an adult at this point. A lot less responsibility on my part, she's pretty much raised.

    So, would you write off a woman like me if you liked everything else about her? There are degrees of "single mom," so saying you wouldn't date one because you don't want kids doesn't really cover it all.

    Having a guy judge you before he even knows you is bad news.
  • TheCats_Meow
    TheCats_Meow Posts: 438 Member
    I'm not sure I'd call it less physically attractive necessarily, but, for me, having kids seems to be somewhat of a deterrant (sp?).

    I'm extremely upfront with the fact that I have kids (I'm not fond of "hiding" my children from a person I'm dating like some people I know) and while the guy may not come right out and say "oh, okay, well, see ya" you can always tell if your parent-status is a mark in the negative column or not.

    I've met some really great guys who have no problem with me having kids, but I think, overall, it's definitely a hinderance.

    I know there for a while I was hesitant about dating men with kids myself but only because of my previous experience with baby-mama drama, not because of the kids themselves so I can relate to where a guy is coming from, but at the same time, I think we (as women) get "disqualified" a lot strictly based on our parent-status.
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
    Nope... not in the least... if anything MORE attractive because of all the things she's dealt with and been through and all the sacrifices she makes on a daily basis.
  • lakersfan4life
    lakersfan4life Posts: 322 Member
    i couldnt care less about being divorced. for having children, i wouldnt say they are less attractive. But it typically complicates the situation.
  • dashnigma
    dashnigma Posts: 35 Member
    < ---- I think I look pretty f*cking attractive. That is all.

    I second that, you most certainly are.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Divorced woman would be fine if it's one divorce, more than that I'd have to think about it.

    Single mom would be fine if I wanted kids, but since I don't, I would not date her.

    OK, but what about this? I'm a single mom, but my one and only child (and I don't want more) is 17 and a senior in high school. She still lives with me, but she's pretty much an adult at this point. A lot less responsibility on my part, she's pretty much raised.

    So, would you write off a woman like me if you liked everything else about her? There are degrees of "single mom," so saying you wouldn't date one because you don't want kids doesn't really cover it all.

    Having a guy judge you before he even knows you is bad news.

    Agreed. But this is all hypothetical. :-)

    Obviously, I don't know if I've ever lost out on a date because of being a single mom. It's not like any guy has ever said, "I'd so date you if you didn't have a kid!" lol

    I figure if a guy didn't ask because of that, he wasn't right for me, anyway.
  • TMcBooty
    TMcBooty Posts: 780 Member
    The biggest problem I've run into is the time thing.
    I can't and WON'T go out during the week, that's my time with my daughter
    NO I'm not just shoving her off on grandma and grandpa...I kinda like her like A LOT

    I have like one day a week that I can consistently see a guy and most men are big babies who need more attention than that :laugh:

    ^5 to this!!! I so agree even though I'm not single but I do have a daughter and I would so be the same way.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    I'm not sure I'd call it less physically attractive necessarily, but, for me, having kids seems to be somewhat of a deterrant (sp?).

    I'm extremely upfront with the fact that I have kids (I'm not fond of "hiding" my children from a person I'm dating like some people I know) and while the guy may not come right out and say "oh, okay, well, see ya" you can always tell if your parent-status is a mark in the negative column or not.

    I've met some really great guys who have no problem with me having kids, but I think, overall, it's definitely a hinderance.

    I know there for a while I was hesitant about dating men with kids myself but only because of my previous experience with baby-mama drama, not because of the kids themselves so I can relate to where a guy is coming from, but at the same time, I think we (as women) get "disqualified" a lot strictly based on our parent-status.

    I think this is very true.

    Some single mothers are incredibly attractive. However, there is no getting round the fact that the needs and feelings of her children MUST be considered. In reality they are the most important part of the equation. That in turns adds pressure to the situation which when you are dating is more of a hindrance than a help.
  • ilovedeadlifts
    ilovedeadlifts Posts: 2,923 Member
    not always.

    single moms are kind of hot.
    and you know they put out :p lol
  • Legalchica
    Legalchica Posts: 462
    damn I hope not... but I"m sure if I ever get there a guy would think twice with my three in tow....
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I'm divorced, and from a fundamentalist background so I immediately *felt* like it was a turn-off. Because of feeling so low I gained 25 lbs and became actually less attractive. But then I met my husband, whom I had known and dated before my divorce. He looked me up because he remembered our relationship being the best he'd had (it only ended because he went to college in the next state and I was too young to do long distance). So we both gave it another shot and the rest is history. The divorce was never an issue to him, or, surprisingly, to his family. If there were children it might have been different, although he willingly accepted my pugs as his own :)
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    This goes for both genders...

    Everyone has to realize that unless you started dating in grade school, everyone you date has had a life before they met you. No one has been preserved in a glass casket like Snow White waiting for Prince Charming to come along and awaken them.

    Life happens. No one gets to the stage where they're ready to settle down without having SOME kind of past, whether that past includes the "baggage" (for lack of a better word) of prior relationships and/or children, or of no dating experience at all.
  • ebramlett
    ebramlett Posts: 306 Member
    < ---- I think I look pretty f*cking attractive. That is all.

    Agreed!!
  • Wingmistress
    Wingmistress Posts: 92
    Oh, screw it. I tried to post a link to my "I (heart) Hot Moms" t-shirt, but it didn't work. :)

    Anyway, to answer the question, absolutely NOT. Divorce happens. Sometimes, through no fault of either party. There are times when both parties realize they're just not a match and are better off not being a couple. That's how it was with me when I was married (and divorced). It was probably the friendliest divorce ever, and we remained friends.

    And kids? The only issue there is that they can be an inconvenience in getting together, but true adults can deal with that and understand that the kids always come first. So no...kids aren't an issue either.

    The only thing that matters is, do the two people wanna be together? If so, previous relationships and children aren't the least bit important.

    Perfectly said buddy. At times, I wonder if that is the case but what it boils down to is this. Being with the right person period. Single, divorced, etc....if you are with someone and you both want to make it work and have that relationship, it should not matter.
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
    It's sad that peopple would ever make single moms out to feel less attractive. Unfortunately there is a HIGH rate of divorce and single motherhood is a big part of the nation. personally i would rather date a single mom than a woman without children because I love kids and want to assist any way i can. As a sexy single dad i can only APPLAUD the women who have stepped up and raised their babies to the best of their abilities!
  • T_R_A_V
    T_R_A_V Posts: 1,629 Member
    Honestly I think its more attractive

    1...They have been through a rough experience and they know what they want
    2...Dont want to play games like some
    3...I have kids so it works out perfectly
    4...Plus you are a MILF (jk)
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    A beautiful lady is a beautiful lady regardless. :smile:
  • red01angel
    red01angel Posts: 806 Member
    Turnabout is fairplay.

    i know i'm about to get sooooo much hate mail for this but ---- i agree.





    i will not date you seriously if you have kids. and if i do? *whispers... (then i'm probably just sticking around for the sleepovers)

    hate if you want, it's the truth.

    Agreed. 100%
    Kids aren't my thing.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I'm not sure I'd call it less physically attractive necessarily, but, for me, having kids seems to be somewhat of a deterrant (sp?).

    I'm extremely upfront with the fact that I have kids (I'm not fond of "hiding" my children from a person I'm dating like some people I know) and while the guy may not come right out and say "oh, okay, well, see ya" you can always tell if your parent-status is a mark in the negative column or not.

    I've met some really great guys who have no problem with me having kids, but I think, overall, it's definitely a hinderance.

    I know there for a while I was hesitant about dating men with kids myself but only because of my previous experience with baby-mama drama, not because of the kids themselves so I can relate to where a guy is coming from, but at the same time, I think we (as women) get "disqualified" a lot strictly based on our parent-status.

    I think this is very true.

    Some single mothers are incredibly attractive. However, there is no getting round the fact that the needs and feelings of her children MUST be considered. In reality they are the most important part of the equation. That in turns adds pressure to the situation which when you are dating is more of a hindrance than a help.

    I ended my last relationship because he and I could not agree about what my kids' needs were. I wasn't happy anymore so there were other reasons but that was ultimately the last nail in the coffin.
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