HEALTHY HABITS CAN DESTROY YOUR SOCIAL LIFE?!

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  • JoJo_fat2fab
    JoJo_fat2fab Posts: 297 Member
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    I don't feel like it has to be one or the other. I still enjoy a couple glasses of wine or a bottle or two of hard cider a week. I eat pizza and cheeseburgers and cake. I do my workouts, make good food choices most of the time, and get on with my normal, fulfilling life. Being healthier has not had any impact on my social life whatsoever. I go to parties and cookouts, I go on hikes with my friends, I see movies, go out to lunch, etc. Nothing has changed, except for the fact that I'm 36 pounds (and counting) lighter. :-)


    Same thing here, except I'm 19pounds and counting
  • Bella1hud
    Bella1hud Posts: 530 Member
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    Interesting discussion. All my adult life I have enjoyed a social drink but I think perhaps young people have it harder today when "going to the bar" goes hand in hand with getting together. I live in city with 2 universities and a community college and the alcohol certainly flows freely here.

    I want to share the experience of my stepson, now in his mid -30's. Neither he nor his wife ever drank, no heavy reason behind their decision, they just don't like the taste of the stuff. However having friends and parties has bever been an issue for them. As my step-son says "I can still act like an ash hole and be the only one that doesn't wake up in the morning with a hangover!" He actually is a stand up comedian and works in bars where booze is plentiful, but of course on those nights he's working. But he was eclectic interests which he shares with his friends, including being a nerd who loves superheros. ( His 3 young sons love that about their dad lol).

    Anyway I guess my point is to work at developing friendships with people who share your interests and passions and hopefully the "to drink or not to drink?" question won't be as big an issue for you. All the best!
  • ChrisStoney
    ChrisStoney Posts: 479 Member
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    <--- actually drinking a glass of wine right now lol.

    sounds good!!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    It might be time to both be more flexible, and find more flexible friends.

    If you enjoy the occasional glass of wine, bottle of beer, dish of wings or slices of pizza, unless you have medical problems that forbid those things, there's no reason on earth why you can't have them every once in a while.

    And there's no reason on earth your friends should insist you have them if and when you don't want them.

    There's been plenty of times I've been the designated driver and only sober one at parties. And the one who just had a salad instead of a platter of appetizers. I get what I want, and I enjoy myself, no matter what the event.
  • Anayalata
    Anayalata Posts: 391 Member
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    I don't feel like it has to be one or the other. I still enjoy a couple glasses of wine or a bottle or two of hard cider a week. I eat pizza and cheeseburgers and cake. I do my workouts, make good food choices most of the time, and get on with my normal, fulfilling life. Being healthier has not had any impact on my social life whatsoever. I go to parties and cookouts, I go on hikes with my friends, I see movies, go out to lunch, etc. Nothing has changed, except for the fact that I'm 36 pounds (and counting) lighter. :-)

    I second (or third or fourth) this.

    I'm on a -500 calorie diet to lose weight. On top of that I'm working out and always end up with -200~400 calories by the end of the day.
    One night every now and then when I end up going to or over my calorie goal to maintain weight isn't going to hurt me, in fact it'll keep me motivated longer since I'm not depriving myself of everything enjoyable.
    Just a few days ago I went to buffalo wild wings and scarfed down around 13 boneless wings (1040 calories~). Delicious, but the next day I just kept right on going with my diet and exercise.
  • Heidi64
    Heidi64 Posts: 211 Member
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    I don't feel like it has to be one or the other. I still enjoy a couple glasses of wine or a bottle or two of hard cider a week. I eat pizza and cheeseburgers and cake. I do my workouts, make good food choices most of the time, and get on with my normal, fulfilling life. Being healthier has not had any impact on my social life whatsoever. I go to parties and cookouts, I go on hikes with my friends, I see movies, go out to lunch, etc. Nothing has changed, except for the fact that I'm 36 pounds (and counting) lighter. :-)

    Same for me on this. Although I do get the occasional remark that will set my teeth on edge, but I consider the source and move on.
  • GTI_Girl
    GTI_Girl Posts: 207
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    honestly...i prefer my new "healthy" life more than my "jager bombs and beers and nachos and pizza". Sure its fun to party every now and again (last night I had 4 beers...the most I have had to drink since my birthday in march) but if its not the lifestyle for you anymore , you don't need to feel obligated to appease your friends. Like others have said... true friends will understand. Really good friends will make you feel ok with your choices, and maybe even join in with you :)
  • CharlieBarleyMom
    CharlieBarleyMom Posts: 727 Member
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    True friends do not put you into situations that would make you uncomfortable. True friends will not make fun of you because you don't have a drink or a cookie ice cream or if you eat just a salad (whether you're a girl or a guy). True friends stand behind your decisions and help you make the right choices for your health because they want you to be around to spend time with.

    Tell your current friends to grow up or get out. Find friends that actually care about you, not whether you have 5 or 6 drinks while standing at the bar. You can go to a bar, order a beer and sip that all night. You can be DD. You can still have fun while having less alcohol.

    You can still have fun while not ordering appetizer, dinner, and dessert every time you go out to dinner. Every once in a while, fine... but your friends will understand if you tell them that you are trying to be healthier.
  • bllowry
    bllowry Posts: 239 Member
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    True friends do not put you into situations that would make you uncomfortable.

    Very, very true.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Well I see it like this - you can either find new friends who share your goals, or you can compromise a bit. I don't mind if my weight loss is a tiny bit slower if I get to maintain my friendships and the sense of well being that comes from socializing.
  • Helice
    Helice Posts: 1,075 Member
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    I didnt read all the post.
    Im tired and gave up half way through lol.

    But when i started dieting i did feel the same.
    A big part of meeting p with my friends would involve getting food, or lets meet up for pizza..
    Or lets go out and get pissed..
    Pretty much everything we did revolved around like a food meeting, or like a weed meeting. But then if we did meet up to just get stoned then we would be even more hungry, and eat even more than if we had just met up to like have lunch.

    So yeh my social life, greatly suffered.
    but in fairness giving up weed was more of a friend looser than giivng up the unhealthy food..
    Not alot you can do really..

    Also the reason why this was a problem was because we would meet up every single day, and while we were out would then get food..
    If we only met up once or twice a week i dont think it would of really of been a problem..
  • vittix
    vittix Posts: 84 Member
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    I feel the same way, its hard to be on a low cal clean diet when there is no place besides subway to keep it's under 500 cals. Im so sick of subway lol. Something my bf and i did was go out to eat on a kid free night. Tho i know he understands it also takes away from that social life we enjoyed. I also don't drink for that reason. With the hoildays coming and eatting with faimly it's gona be hard. I know why im sticking to this its a lifestlye change. Lots of luck :)
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    I don't feel like it has to be one or the other. I still enjoy a couple glasses of wine or a bottle or two of hard cider a week. I eat pizza and cheeseburgers and cake. I do my workouts, make good food choices most of the time, and get on with my normal, fulfilling life. Being healthier has not had any impact on my social life whatsoever. I go to parties and cookouts, I go on hikes with my friends, I see movies, go out to lunch, etc. Nothing has changed, except for the fact that I'm 36 pounds (and counting) lighter. :-)

    Amen. Don't let this journey affect your social life. Don't quit doing stuff with your friends because you want to eat healthy or get exercise in. I go out plenty with my friends, drink and eat and I'm doing just fine. There's an excessive amount of that that could occur, but in moderation it's perfectly fine.
    I also kind of decide if a night is worth the calories or not. Last night I went to a party that I thought was kind of lame, so I didn't drink. We ended up going to the bar and I danced completely sober and it was a blast!!
    Tonight, I'm going to the bar, which I love, and I will drink beforehand. It's about choices!
  • ange0628
    ange0628 Posts: 39 Member
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    I understand exactly were you are coming from, my freinds are understanding and we have girls night in with "healthy choices" and i go out with them once in while, yes I gave up club nights to get healthy but when I lost my first 10 lbs I had a wine night, incentive to know when you lose more you can have some drinks, or whatever your guilty pleasure might be,,,

    now on the other point as a girl, if a guy I was interested in said he didnt want to drink or eat out at unhealthy restaurants it would make me MORE attracted, because you care about yourself and your health....you then have to find creative ways that could benefit you more (cook dinner for each other at home) have mineral water so its sparkly, do dating after dinner it will just make you think out of the box on things to do and she will appreciate it I can guarantee it!!!

    hope this helps, and its not forever, your friends will understand!!
  • sagetracey
    sagetracey Posts: 607 Member
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    Maybe it's because I'm a little older (47) but I really haven't had any problem incorporating my new healthier lifestyle into my very active social life. In fact, getting healthier is making my social life even better.

    I eat out every Monday night before dance class, every second Wednesday night at my Lions Club and a couple of other times a month for other reasons. It's just a matter of choosing the healthiest options available. Sometimes that means, like last night, swapping the set course meal with my husband (he's so wonderful!) and then picking what I will eat from the plate in front of me.

    I like a drink but it's not essential so I am usually the designated driver. Plus, rock and rollers really don't drink much when we are out dancing so I fit right in.

    Now I can dance all night and my biggest complaint is when the band doesn't play enough of the right sort of music!
  • lostredsock
    lostredsock Posts: 24 Member
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    I would also add to what others have said here by saying that you can't stop socializing because you are afraid of making poor choices. You may grow to resent the healthy lifestyle keeping you from your friends and fun. Suddenly the healthy lifestyle gets thrown out the window. Not a pretty picture.

    Take the ribbing from your friends, and understand it is coming from their own insecurity. Enjoy in moderation, and work to find the balance between being healthy and social. It's truly necessary for long term success.

    Good Luck!
  • AMKAG
    AMKAG Posts: 31 Member
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    Very Interesting post.. I think another key not mentioned is to diversfy your friends, explore different interests with different people. I was injuried 5 years ago and all of sudden couldn't ride my bike, walk very far, ski or do much of anything physical, all things I previously did with a group of friends. PLus I was gaining weight from eating and drinking as normal but not having any exercise... It was really hard. I still saw them, but our main social activities were activity based... I would make jokes like I need a new hobby and friends who knit.. so I asked an older lady from work if she wanted to buy tickets to a play and she said yes, so now I do that.. I joined a different book club. As guy, what other interests do you have, can you volunteer at a car museum, or work as volunteer usher at sporting events, rebuild hiking trails in your area, volunteer as a big brother... all those things expose you to new people with different interests...Luckily for me I'm pretty much back into the physical activities and can see those people more, and I've kept up those other friendships too.
  • dustyhockeymom
    dustyhockeymom Posts: 537 Member
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    I have been watching what I eat since February and I haven't turned down one social invitation during that time. Sometimes I have modified what I chose to eat, sometimes I eat whatever I feel like in small portions and I only drink once in a blue moon. Even if all my friends are drinking, no one is concerned if I am drinking or not. I have lost 85 pounds and all summer I spent every friday evening at a potluck BBQ with all our friends. If I know I have a food related social occassion I make sure to leave a little wiggle room on my other days, and pay the most attention to my weekly calorie amounts. If I treated this like a diet where I had to deprive myself, most importantly of my friends, then I would never stick with it.
  • garlic7girl
    garlic7girl Posts: 2,236 Member
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    I wish the young lady on another post could have seen what you wrote. She needed to hear your comment! She was struggling so hard and needed positivity.
  • bluecal822
    bluecal822 Posts: 21 Member
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    I'm struggling with this same thing. I'm a college student, so most all social activities involve drinking. I've started just not going to parties because it sucks being the only sober person at a party, but I feel like I'm becoming anti-social.

    However, on the flip side, I've become a lot closer to one of my friends since I became her zumba buddy.

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