Monday deep probing question...

Iamfit4life
Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
edited October 4 in Chit-Chat
Is physical attraction necessary to start a relationship?


Or have you started a relationship with somebody because you really liked their personality and the physical eventually developed?
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Replies

  • glypta
    glypta Posts: 440 Member
    Need physical attraction, otherwise you're just friends in my opinion.
  • Gio2369
    Gio2369 Posts: 82
    Physical first :) and let's not forget cute feet lmao.............A MUST! lmao
  • horror_hamster
    horror_hamster Posts: 278
    in my experience, it is possible to start a relationship with someone you're not physically attracted to. I did it, and i was in the relationship for 4 years... but there came a point where the personality stopped being so attractive and there was nothing else keeping me there.
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
    Need physical attraction, otherwise you're just friends in my opinion.

    i agree but you have to be friends also in your relationship!
    My hubby is also my best friend!:wink:
  • GibsonDarlin
    GibsonDarlin Posts: 202 Member
    depends on the the type of relationship you are seeking. Sometimes we look for the Intense relationships, other times you want more then just heat. But you have to have BOTH in the long run.
  • Captain_Mal
    Captain_Mal Posts: 945 Member
    It's possible but not common in my experience. To be in a relationship though means eventually you want to end up in bed together so on some level there has to be physical attraction.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    To me, both are necessary.

    I liked my ex because he was so into me, and since he was a FOB (what I go for) I thought the physical would completely appear...it got worst though :/

    I will not make that mistake again...
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
    Physical first :) and let's not forget cute feet lmao.............A MUST! lmao


    is this a foot fetish i hear???? :noway:
  • momoftwoboys82
    momoftwoboys82 Posts: 5
    I started a relationship with someone I was not physically attracted too but I loved his personality! Within 6 months, I noticed a lot of behaviours that I would not accept and there was nothing else to keep me in a relationship! But then again, being attracted to someone, doesn't mean you'd stay with them JUST FOR THE LOOKS! Relationships can fall apart or work out wether you are attracted to the person or not!
  • Gio2369
    Gio2369 Posts: 82
    ROFLOL, no foot fettish......not kissing them lmao......they just look sexy with some styles of clothes :)
  • aliceguy
    aliceguy Posts: 128 Member
    Is physical attraction necessary to start a relationship?


    Or have you started a relationship with somebody because you really liked their personality and the physical eventually developed?

    Not sure if it is necessary, but it is more than likely to be the 1st step that interests you in a person and then the whole getting into the personality thing develops from there I think.
    But there can be an attraction that leads to friendship and it goes no further. In my case I have had a friend since I was 17, she has been married, divorced, been through countless boyfriends and dramas and yet I would still love to be with her but know it is at a point where if I was to try and cross the line so to speak, I would lose her as a friend.
    So, sometimes, better to stick with a friendship thing and admire from afar rather than losing what you have already.

    There needs to be an attraction of some sort, physical at first, but then the relationship can twist and bend and take many unforseen detours and incarnations.

    Go with your gut instinct.......
  • PBJunky
    PBJunky Posts: 737 Member
    Physical first :) and let's not forget cute feet lmao.............A MUST! lmao

    uhm lol I know what you stare at when meeting someone haha

    The physical attractiveness subsides after a year or so then you are left with the personality, so I tend to choose woman I know I can tolerate and be able to keep a conversation with...
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
    ROFLOL, no foot fettish......not kissing them lmao......they just look sexy with some styles of clothes :)

    that's ok i won't tell anyone!!

    i have a fetish(a very big one) about men in uniforms so hey....:tongue:
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    I think it most times has to start with a physical attraction but if it stays with that alone it won`t work out.
    The person and their character is what makes you grow to care about them.
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
    Physical first :) and let's not forget cute feet lmao.............A MUST! lmao

    uhm lol I know what you stare at when meeting someone haha

    The physical attractiveness subsides after a year or so then you are left with the personality, so I tend to choose woman I know I can tolerate and be able to keep a conversation with...
    PB...
    women you can tolerate!! WELL arnt you the charmer lol :glasses:
  • AshleyAmmerman
    AshleyAmmerman Posts: 40
    It is not necessary to start a relationship however, it is more so necessary to keep a relationship for the long term.

    You can love a person's personality all you want but eventually you or anyone else is going to seek that "sexiness" about them. It is healthy for a relationship that you are attracted to both their personality AND their physical appearance. They should make you feel something physically and vise versa.

    Eventually the physical part can develop but sometimes not soon enough and the relationship ends. Until you are attracted to them physically I would say you are just friends. When that physical attraction become apparent then the possibility of being more than friends develops.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Is physical attraction necessary to start a relationship?

    No
    Or have you started a relationship with somebody because you really liked their personality and the physical eventually developed?

    Yes.

    I do think there are better odds of a relationship getting off the ground if physical attraction is there right from the start though.
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
    I think it most times has to start with a physical attraction but if it stays with that alone it won`t work out.
    The person and their character is what makes you grow to care about them.


    ooo so VERY TRUE :drinker:
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    Physical first :) and let's not forget cute feet lmao.............A MUST! lmao

    uhm lol I know what you stare at when meeting someone haha

    The physical attractiveness subsides after a year or so then you are left with the personality, so I tend to choose woman I know I can tolerate and be able to keep a conversation with...
    This
    As I've always said in the end, it all turns into friendship.
  • Juliebean_1027
    Juliebean_1027 Posts: 713 Member
    I tend to choose woman I know I can tolerate and be able to keep a conversation with...

    This is hilarious to me. Mainly because it's true. After a while it all becomes about tolerance, for both sides.
  • eillamarie
    eillamarie Posts: 862 Member
    I'd had relationships start from friendship, then both ppl realize they actually like & are attracted to eachother. But that's not that common. I think 9 times out of 10 there needs to be a good level of physical attraction.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    For me, some degree of physical attraction is a must from the start. Of course a man can become more physically attractive to me after getting to know him because even physical imperfections become endearing in a person you love. But there has to be something that grabs me right away ... your eyes, your smile, the way you move, the way you smell, etc. If you're a cool guy, but there's no physical attraction, then you're immediately in the friend zone.

    It sounds noble to say that looks don't matter, but it's a lie. That's just not how the mating process works. Fortunately, different things are attractive to different people.
  • ydavyd
    ydavyd Posts: 15 Member
    I think it's important, not just for you but also for another person as well.
  • stampede55
    stampede55 Posts: 474
    I think there has to be some kind of physical attraction to start, even if it's minimal. If the personlities mesh along the way, then for me the physical attraction seems to get stronger. At least that's how it played out with my wife. As a side note, if her feet would've been jacked up when we met, I would've been out. It's the little stuff that counts!
  • liisaslims
    liisaslims Posts: 2
    I've had a relationship where on first impressions, I didn't find him physically attractive, but we were good friends and I grew to like him because of his personality. We gave it a go, it didn't work out though, because no matter what you need that spark.
    I reeeeallly fancied my current partner when I first met him, got butterflies, all that exciting stuff that comes with initial attraction. Luckily he also had the personality to match and that makes someone even more beautiful.
    Sorry that was vomit inducingly soppy!
  • casi_ann
    casi_ann Posts: 423 Member
    I think you can be friends with someone and not be physically attracted to them, see that persons wonderful qualities and all of a sudden see them differently physically. When you fall in love with someone, you will see them as physically attractive no matter how others see them. At that time, it become physical and sexual attraction too. At the same time, if you aren't physically or sexually attracted to someone you would be doing them a disservice to continue a romantic relationship with them when they can find someone who will love them all the way, not just part of the way. If you aren't attracted physically and sexually you just don't love them that way. You and he or she deserves better than that.
  • MikeDailyIntake
    MikeDailyIntake Posts: 133
    Some people don't need physical attraction to start a relationship but I do
  • barbi1281
    barbi1281 Posts: 48
    Is physical attraction necessary to start a relationship?


    Or have you started a relationship with somebody because you really liked their personality and the physical eventually developed?

    I don't think it's completely necessary. Many many moons ago, I met a man online and we really hit it off. After a lot of talking we finally decided to go on a date but when he picked me up my initial thought was "oh hell no!"... I went anyway b/c it was a free meal and I would've felt bad changing my mind as soon as I met him. Long story short, we had a great time, we had a lot in common and I almost married him (the fact that I didn't is completely unrelated).

    As I've gotten older (and I'm still pretty young :smile: ) I've learned that looks change so it really needs to be deeper than that. I would've never expected to gain the amount of weight that I gained (thanks misdiagnosis of hypothyroidism:mad: ) and I definitely wouldn't have expected my husband to have become about 30% bald at just 32 so I'm glad that I was more concerned about the type of person I was with than how he looked.

    S/n - I've also learned that an attactive person can quickly become unattractive based on personality and vice versa - some of the seemingly least attractive men I've known have become stunning to me because of their great personalities.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    Physical attraction is important, but physical attraction has to do with much more than just looks. Everything that animates you, body language, voice, smell, the way you carry yourself, even the clothes you choose to wear and the way you style your hair, makes a difference.

    Even though I'm an old boring married person, sometimes I look at photos from advertisements - professional photos of models - for dating sites, and think, "Which of these guys interest me?" and the answer is usually... none! If it's just a head shot, it has no personality. They're all good looking guys, but without animation, none of them stand out.
  • SkateboardFi
    SkateboardFi Posts: 1,322 Member
    HEHE..probe. anyyyywhoooo...

    absolutely. there's been situations where i've connected mentally with someone that i met in a chat and conversed with over the phone, but when i met them in person, physically it just wasn't there for me. there has to be a balance of both physical and mental attraction for anything to have the potential to work, and then, most times, even when you have that balance it STILL doesn't work because you have to throw in circumstances.
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