My friends won't play with me :(

bmw4deb
Posts: 1,347 Member
I have been a member of my Gym for about 8 months now
and have gotten really friendly with some of the ladies that
I do classes with (zumba, body fit, spinning) we would always
spend the 10-15 minutes before classes talking laughing ect
We had even did the midnight zumba the 2 hr spin special for MS
you get the idea!
Now i'm being avoided like the plague :ohwell: It really hurts my
feelings. I have done nothing wrong, but I can tell there whispering about me
when we are all waiting for the class to start
Hubby says it is because i now wear xs workout cloths and there still in 2x :indifferent:
most have been members longer than me HELP !!! I feel like im in high school
and instead of being happy to go to the gym i now have to force my self
and have gotten really friendly with some of the ladies that
I do classes with (zumba, body fit, spinning) we would always
spend the 10-15 minutes before classes talking laughing ect
We had even did the midnight zumba the 2 hr spin special for MS
you get the idea!
Now i'm being avoided like the plague :ohwell: It really hurts my
feelings. I have done nothing wrong, but I can tell there whispering about me
when we are all waiting for the class to start

Hubby says it is because i now wear xs workout cloths and there still in 2x :indifferent:
most have been members longer than me HELP !!! I feel like im in high school
and instead of being happy to go to the gym i now have to force my self

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Replies
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Sorry to hear this
You could always ask them casually why you guys talk less? If they continue like this they don't deserve your attention, get some rockin music on your iPod and tune them out.
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Change gym mate - life's too short0
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They are probably jealous of how well you have done. Don't worry, hold your head up high and carry on :happy:0
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I would confront them in a kind manner and see what they say. It could be a simple misunderstanding or sensitivity on your part and bringing it up would resolve the tension. Or, if they brush it off or don't take your feelings seriously, then you can move on and make other friends. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, your husband might be on to something though....0
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Oh hun..it is THEIR insecurity and you just need to surround yourself with positive people that will relish in the fact you are succeeding in your journey and NOT being jealous. Very tough to just rid people from your life - I get that - but it is unhealthy to be around that negativity. Maybe you could change up the classes you do so you dont have to witness them acting like high school brats.....
Don't lose focus...they arent worth it.0 -
Ignore them...I agree with the others, they are probably jealous of your progress...(Funny how most of us women are like that)...lol...Keep up the good work, don't let it get you down...Besides, concentrating on yourself and your workout instead of the social aspect is probably better for you in the long run...Good luck on your journey, I wish you the BEST..!!.. :flowerforyou:0
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That just sucks. I'll point out that if they truly were your friends they wouldn't act like that. I have my gym "friends" who I talk to at class and if I see them out in about. Let me tell you, even though they are mere aquaintances they are super supportive of my weight loss. I get compliments often and encouragement as well. I say you are better than these biddies who behave like they are 14 instead of adults. Be the bigger person and be polite, but don't go out of your way to talk to them or be overly friendly.
Chin up, you got this!0 -
You look good and they are jealous : ) Keep doing what you do and let them drink some more haterade!0
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If they can't happy for you, then they aren't worth being friends with Consider it their loss...and start chatting with some new people!.0
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Congratulations on your weight loss!
If they are treating you different because you are a different size it doesn't sound like they were very good friends to begin with. As long as you are acting the same and they don't feel you've changed then it doesn't sound like anyone you would want to hang around with anyway.
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Have you asked them what the problem is? Maybe you made an offhand comment that you didn't realise was hurtful to one of them. There has to be a reason for this. I would urge you to find out what it is.0
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Did you forget to wear deodorant during the midnight zumba?
You are right. This is a high school problem. Who cares. Just do your thing.0 -
I'll point out that if they truly were your friends they wouldn't act like that.
I completely agree. Keep up the good work, ignore their pettiness and go find some new, true friends.0 -
It is unfortunate; how primitive we still are. Humans, like canine, have a yearning to belong. Everything we do we feel it can be done better if we have a partner or someone we can relate to/talk to.
It is hard to look inside to see why you are doing things when you are doing them alone.
These are the things I see:
1. You are friendly and made "casual acquaintances" for other members in the fitness center
2. As long as you all were in the same perdicament you were welcomed into the inner circle
3. Once you evolved the envy came out from the acquaintances (not friends)
4. You are hurt by the pettiness of what you have witnessed
In the end your personal nature has failed to see the great success you have achieved while they did not take it as serious and remain unchanged.
Embrace the you and what you have accomplished without getting hung up on the pettiness. When you make it a battle it becomes a war and when it becomes a war nobody wins.0 -
That just sucks. I'll point out that if they truly were your friends they wouldn't act like that. I have my gym "friends" who I talk to at class and if I see them out in about. Let me tell you, even though they are mere aquaintances they are super supportive of my weight loss. I get compliments often and encouragement as well. I say you are better than these biddies who behave like they are 14 instead of adults. Be the bigger person and be polite, but don't go out of your way to talk to them or be overly friendly.
Chin up, you got this!
^^ This.
That is bullying behaviour and, because they have been willing to do that once, they will do it again - to you or someone else. I wouldn't go out of my way to "deal" with them but really - how invested should you be?0 -
Oh hun..it is THEIR insecurity and you just need to surround yourself with positive people that will relish in the fact you are succeeding in your journey and NOT being jealous. Very tough to just rid people from your life - I get that - but it is unhealthy to be around that negativity. Maybe you could change up the classes you do so you dont have to witness them acting like high school brats.....
Don't lose focus...they arent worth it.
First, congratulations on your success! Well done!!
And second, are there others in the class who can be playdates and are closer to where you are in your fitness journey? I'd go play by them now.0 -
It sounds like the gym is more of a social hour for them than a way to improve their weight and health. You could try talking to them but if they are acting this way I'm not sure how much good it will do. Are there others in the class you could make friends with that seem to share your goals? Or another class you could attend? Whatever route you choose for dealing with these "mean girls" don't let them derail your personal goals.0
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I would confront them in a kind manner and see what they say. It could be a simple misunderstanding or sensitivity on your part and bringing it up would resolve the tension. Or, if they brush it off or don't take your feelings seriously, then you can move on and make other friends. I'm sorry your feelings were hurt, your husband might be on to something though....0
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You look good and they are jealous : ) Keep doing what you do and let them drink some more haterade!
haha Haterade! Love it0 -
The only person on earth that I can change is myself. I don't know why but some people don't want others to be successful.
God grant me serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference0
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