Scenario: You're In The Gym Working Out....

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2

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  • joejccva71
    joejccva71 Posts: 2,985 Member
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    I would so take an Olympic bar and start fighting the zombie like I was Bruce Lee himself.
  • quigonnjae
    quigonnjae Posts: 399
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    Grab that weight bar and start teeing off on zombie melons
  • davidthomsen
    davidthomsen Posts: 9
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    Here goes : Zombie Survival Plan for FOB Sharana Afghanistan - First off that first zombie whack it with a short curl bar. Easy. Done. Then move out with a quickness to the weapons rack grab a M4 strip a few magazines then go around putting rounds to heads. Burn the gym down. Rally up at the nearest AHA (Ammo Holding Area) and hand out munitions to everyone who is not zombified. After that the remaining survivors would move down to the DFAC (Dining Facility) and grab up all the food that we could load into out trucks. From there move out to the SSA yard (building materiels) and start fortifying the **** out of it. Then just sit there and kill zombies. Call for what ever help we can and hold the fort. And yes, we have this all planned out just in case this happens. Never pays to be unprepared.
  • Tegan74
    Tegan74 Posts: 202
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    .....you've been at it for a while. On the treadmill for a good 45 minutes or so, running 8 mph, headphones on, cause you're a beast! The mill powers down and as you step off and turn around you notice that everyone is dead. The culprit, 1 zombie (of course it's a zombie!). He's staring at you, sort of, a good 20-30 feet away. Dude is gonna snack on your face if you don't do something, plus all these other jellyrolls are gonna wake up soon with a hankering for brains! You have to arm yourself....but you're in a gym. What can you possibly use to fight off a zombie horde all by yourself in a gym?!?!?


    GO!

    If you've been running 8mph for 45 mins there is a better than good chance that he thinks you're a zombie too, from the rancid stench, he's staring cause he doesnt understand wtf you were doing on the treadmill to begin with LOL
  • LaDiablesse
    LaDiablesse Posts: 862 Member
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    Zombieland Survival Rule # 1

    CARDIO

    This, & it's also helpful to have a concealed handgun permit :smile:
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    Slow zombies? You're in the cardio section of the gym, grab one of those weighted poles and charge the zombie lance style. You're not aiming to kill just knock him over. Now's the hard part. I'd use the 45 pound plates, but I'm a bigger guy. Grab one at a time, run to the zombie on the ground, shoulder press it, and let gravity do the rest to his/her face. Now do the same to all the dead-but-soon-to-be-undead folks in the gym. You get a great strength workout too. Once done, barricade yourself inside and give yourself some time to recover before venturing out.

    Fast zombies? Throw anything you can grab at it to slow them down, rush for nearest door or window. Cuss yourself out for making today a cardio day and being tired already. Try to get to a place where you can barricade yourself to plan out your next move.
  • runnerjenn0708
    runnerjenn0708 Posts: 400 Member
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    If the zombie is HAWT .. I'd just let him eat me ... :)
  • Weathers58
    Weathers58 Posts: 246 Member
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    Dont forget to cool down and stretch I suppose 45 mins at 8 mph is a pretty goodwork gotta stay injury free
  • legmotor
    legmotor Posts: 197 Member
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    If the zombie is HAWT .. I'd just let him eat me ... :)

    Ummm, feet first?
  • stampede55
    stampede55 Posts: 474
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    Ha! These are great!
  • stampede55
    stampede55 Posts: 474
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    Here goes : Zombie Survival Plan for FOB Sharana Afghanistan - First off that first zombie whack it with a short curl bar. Easy. Done. Then move out with a quickness to the weapons rack grab a M4 strip a few magazines then go around putting rounds to heads. Burn the gym down. Rally up at the nearest AHA (Ammo Holding Area) and hand out munitions to everyone who is not zombified. After that the remaining survivors would move down to the DFAC (Dining Facility) and grab up all the food that we could load into out trucks. From there move out to the SSA yard (building materiels) and start fortifying the **** out of it. Then just sit there and kill zombies. Call for what ever help we can and hold the fort. And yes, we have this all planned out just in case this happens. Never pays to be unprepared.
    Dude....I need a membership to your gym!
  • stampede55
    stampede55 Posts: 474
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    Zombieland Survival Rule # 1

    CARDIO

    This, & it's also helpful to have a concealed handgun permit :smile:
    Yes indeed!
  • stampede55
    stampede55 Posts: 474
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    Slow zombies? You're in the cardio section of the gym, grab one of those weighted poles and charge the zombie lance style. You're not aiming to kill just knock him over. Now's the hard part. I'd use the 45 pound plates, but I'm a bigger guy. Grab one at a time, run to the zombie on the ground, shoulder press it, and let gravity do the rest to his/her face. Now do the same to all the dead-but-soon-to-be-undead folks in the gym. You get a great strength workout too. Once done, barricade yourself inside and give yourself some time to recover before venturing out.

    Fast zombies? Throw anything you can grab at it to slow them down, rush for nearest door or window. Cuss yourself out for making today a cardio day and being tired already. Try to get to a place where you can barricade yourself to plan out your next move.
    This would make a great explosive circuit!
  • stampede55
    stampede55 Posts: 474
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    So I just left the gym. As I was running around the second floor track I was browsing for weapons. Barbell would be effective for maybe a swing or two, then you're toast. Curl bar would be a much better bludgeon I think....that or maybe a lat bar. We have a ton of handled medicine balls too. Tie one of those puppies to a jump rope and go at it medieval style!

    So if I turn around and see this not very HAWT zombie, I'm def gonna b-line towards the medicine ball rack, which happens to be very close to the drawers they keep the jump ropes in. Make a quick stop to grab a lat bar as I head upstairs to the track. At this point I should have enough time to tie on my rope. As the horde starts making its way up the steps, I'm gonna start poppin melons with my swinging battle mace thingy! Once I'm overrun, I'm fuggin out! Hit the track and put out a 30 second lap, stopping conveniently at the windows that overlook the front parking lot. Lat bar to the glass till it hopefully breaks, then out on the roof to assess the situation. Hopefully the parking lot isn't affected or it's gonna be a long day!
  • DWilbanks
    DWilbanks Posts: 420 Member
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    lead them into the pool, because everyone knows that zombie's can't swim.. :huh:

    or

    lead them into the sauna, then run out the door and bar the door with the dumb bell bar... :yawn:
  • stampede55
    stampede55 Posts: 474
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    lead them into the pool, because everyone knows that zombie's can't swim.. :huh:

    or

    lead them into the sauna, then run out the door and bar the door with the dumb bell bar... :yawn:
    The pool is closed for repair, and the sauna only holds up to 4 sweaty old guys.....plus the sauna door has no handle. Only a strike plate for pushing.......:devil:
  • ABetterBalance
    ABetterBalance Posts: 298
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    Well, since I watched Dawn of the Dead last night (the '78 Romero version) I would have to say I would take a page out of Peter's book and ***** slap a few Zombies :laugh:

    Although I'm not cool enough for that to work. So I'd use the barbell for some added force.
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
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    Hm, wonder how the zombie would handle the slides at my gym's pool:

    2011-08-18_14-42-26_530.jpg

    I could slide down one, run across to the deep end, jump off the diving board, swim across, then bolt out the emergency exit? :huh:
  • KariQuiteContrary
    KariQuiteContrary Posts: 274 Member
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    Zombieland Survival Rule # 1

    CARDIO

    THIS! YES!
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
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    6306352738_0f15f429d8.jpg
    the-rules-tshirt by blmarvin, on Flickr

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