I had a major realization today...

Every morning when you wake up, say to yourself, "this is the heaviest I will ever be" then kick butt that day. Remember how horrible you felt when you saw those pics and vow " never again". :flowerforyou:

I look forward to reading your upcoming "Success Story" here! :drinker:

I have been married to a wonderful lady for almost 20 years. She has struggled for much of her life with her weight but my love for her is not centered around her appearance. I have loved her with the ups and downs she has had over the years and that would never cease. Regardless of your weight you sound like a wonderful lady and I'm sure your husband loves you regardless of however many pounds you have put on. Don't let your weight demoralize you. You aren't nasty.

My wife and I decided together to do something about our weight this year and both of us began focusing on what we eat and have been very successful at it. Since late July she has lost 40 lbs and I lost 25. If you aren't happy with your weight then at least you recognize that and the ability to do something about it is within your grasp.

However, the qualify of a person is not defined by their weight but by who they are on the inside. Don't feel helpless or lost. Just be focused on doing what you need to do for your own health. Your man loves you for who you are ... just love him back.

If you were alone, there wouldn't be so many of us on this site!

The hard part about the initial realization that makes us cry is that it seems like it happened overnight, but we know it will take a while to reverse it.

BUT, instead of punishing yourself, reward yourself for every positive step you take! Set your goals small, and then it will be easier to achieve them and feel the progress... it might take a while, but you CAN do it!

*It's not about how you start, its about how you finish*
Smartest post yet!

I rememer when I was 26 years old, 115 pounds and I would see someone who is exactly my size now and think, "Oh my goodness, look at that overweight person. That doesn't happen overnight! How she get that big and not notice and do something to prevent it? I just don't understand how people can let themselves get like that. She had to buy bigger pants! She knew she was getting heavy!"

Yep, I was THAT person. And now I'm this person. And it did happen to me. Being a mom/daughter/wife/working professional keeps you really busy. The older you get the faster time goes by too.

Until I had my daughter 8 years ago I was at a "normal" BMI, but it was tooooo thin. I young and also very active, AND had a physically demanding job back then. Fast forward to a baby and a desk job, add a few years under and BOOM, waist explosion! Who the hell is that lady in the mirror? OMG, it's me. Aaargh! I want to go back in time and slap my old self for thinking that way.

It's happened to millions of us. But it doesn't make it hurt any less when either the mirror or a photo catches you off guard. I can totally sympathize.

First, I can completely understand how you feel. I think many of us on this site have had this realization at one time or another.

The first thing that I want to say to you is this:
NEVER QUESTION YOUR HUSBAND'S/BOYFRIEND'S LOVE FOR YOU!! He loves you for the person you are. Not for the size you wear. He loves you because of how he feels when he's with you. He loves you for a million little reasons that you couldn't possibly even fathom. His love for you isn't contingent on what your weight is or where you shop for clothing. It just is. Please understand that.

Secondly:
When you begin to make this change in your life (and it will have to be a life-change), you must do it for you. No one else. Not him, not your family, not your friends... just you! This is truly the one time in your life that you can be as selfish as you want. If your desire to be healthy and lose weight is anchored on someone or something else, it will not last. So before you commit to doing this, take some time and think about the reasons why you want to do it. If you have it settled in your heart and soul that this is what you want, then there is nothing or no one that will be able to hold you back. There will be challenges setbacks, we are only human of course, but you'll have that strength within you to stand back up and keep going. Failure isn't the end. It just shows us that we need to try something different.

Thirdly:
Find someone to confide in regarding this area of your life. And don't be surprised if your friends and family aren't as excited about your new health plans as you are. You will need the support and encouragement. I have a few friends on MFP that are always there to assist and encourage. I also have a friend IRL that is here with me and can share in my struggle and successes. I am so very grateful that person is my husband. I know there are many people whose spouses aren't exactly on the same page regarding healthy living. But having that person you can call when the bag or Oreos is open on the table and you're ready to eat the entire thing because the baby won't stop crying, the car has a flat, and a check bounced is worth more than their weight in gold!!

Regardless of your weight, you are a beautiful, loved person. That will not change as the scale changes.

I really hope you have a better evening. And if you ever need to vent, please feel free to add me!

With a few minor adjustments, I could have written that. The photo that put me over the edge was from my vacation, and I lost 10 pounds before we left! I couldn't believe that's how I really looked, it forced me to realize how much weight I'd really put on.

Once I had to face the facts, the problems with my diet became glaringly obvious. How did I think it was ok to use an entire stick of butter every time I cooked dinner? How had I deluded myself into thinking home-made alfredo sauce was healthy (sure, healthier than the chemical laden jar versions, but still atrociously high in calories per serving)? How did I think eating deli sandwiches with mayo and cheese every day for lunch was good for me?

The important part is you are being real now, and you know you need to get real about lifestyle changes. Excuses are easy, changes are hard - at first. I was pleasantly surprised how easy it has been to drop the next 10 pounds, and counting! The smallest changes make such huge differences. You can do this! And you don't have to do it alone. Use the forums, make friends on MFP for encouragement and support (feel free to add me if you'd like), set some realistic goals and see how easy it is to meet them!

I am in constant denial about how I really look. I avoided pictures for years because I just couldn't stand to be seen. And I have this really terrible picture of me sitting sideways in a chair, looking like I weigh 500 lbs instead of 300. I've lost a little weight since then, but what I've learned is, (and I'm eating halloween candy while writing this so take it with a grain of salt) You have to love what you see in the mirror, and pictures. Its you. If you don't, no matter what weight you're at you'll never see yourself as you are; beautiful and intelligent and capable of accomplishing anything you set your mind to.

I know exactly how you feel!!!
After seeing myself in my friends wedding pictures I had the *click* where I knew I wasn't just "bigger" anymore and had a complete meltdown. I probably cried for a good hour straight then got angry and purged my kitchen of all the junk food I had and my closet of all of the clothes that no longer fit me (I regret getting rid of the clothes now...).
As crappy as that all was, that was the wake up call I needed to get me back in motion and care about myself again!

It's a tough journey and you'll have good days and bad days but places like MFP really help!!!


You can't push through a wall until you've hit it. This is you hitting that wall, now it's time to break through and become a better you!!!

Good Luck with your journey!!!

You are gold now. This is the beginning. Nothing will hold you back now from changing your life.