ladies: how can we compliment without it being creepy?

jacksonpt
jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
edited October 4 in Chit-Chat
I often wonder this... both on sites like this one (where there are a lot of attractive people showing off attractive bodies) and just in every day life. As a guy, how can I give a woman a compliment without it being creepy or a come-on or whatever else.

Say I see a profile pic of someone showing off their abs... can I send them a simple message saying "Hey, great abs!" or "wow, nice abs... your hard work is really paying off!"

If I'm inline behind someone at Target and I notice their perfume, can I say, "I like your perfume"?

Is there even such a thing as an innocent compliment any more?
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Replies

  • iAMaPhoenix
    iAMaPhoenix Posts: 1,038 Member
    Unfortunately my brother, you cannot nowadays.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    none of those sound creepy. now, "i want to lick your abs" or "your perfume makes me hungry" etc...crossing the line.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    Of course

    It's a lot about the delivery.

    But if I were a man I wouldn't send a woman a message on here unless they were friends or had some sort of rapport.

    The woman at the store thing is tricker. I guess you can probably tell when a woman is and is not to be approached.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Unfortunately my brother, you cannot nowadays.

    my gosh. your picture. i just had a heart attack!
  • Teliooo
    Teliooo Posts: 725 Member
    I would say it, if they take it the wrong way, then that is there big headed problem. Pay me one if you like ;-)
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    bump
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Of course

    It's a lot about the delivery.

    But if I were a man I wouldn't send a woman a message on here unless they were friends or had some sort of rapport.

    The woman at the store thing is tricker. I guess you can probably tell when a woman is and is not to be approached.

    this is true
  • horndave
    horndave Posts: 565
    Wondered the same thing. Especially as I get older. However, have decided to just give the compliment and tell them to take it for what it is intended a compliment.
  • Crowhorse
    Crowhorse Posts: 394 Member
    none of those sound creepy. now, "i want to lick your abs" or "your perfume makes me hungry" etc...crossing the line.

    Unless it smells like chocolate...and then it would be understandable.
  • cathleen4h
    cathleen4h Posts: 43 Member
    I think all of those compliments are fine! I as a woman would be flattered. Now if you go on and on about it - thats a little creepy!
  • DrBorkBork
    DrBorkBork Posts: 4,099 Member
    none of those sound creepy. now, "i want to lick your abs" or "your perfume makes me hungry" etc...crossing the line.

    This.

    The simple "I ran across your profile and I'm really impressed by you abs. Nice work!" is a perfectly acceptable compliment :)
  • goron59
    goron59 Posts: 890 Member
    Creepiness is mostly created by the receiver. Say what you want, but be prepared to duck!
  • Iheartsushi
    Iheartsushi Posts: 150 Member
    I think ladies can still take compliments. I don't see anything creepy with the ones you listed.

    However, be mindful that there will ALWAYS be women who take it the wrong way because they think they are God's gift to this earth and that only certain people are allowed the privilege to speak with them lol...
  • RyanDanielle5101
    RyanDanielle5101 Posts: 533
    I think it can depend on who you are complimenting, someone can take the two examples you gave above as offensive while others would not. I am not easily offended but there are tons of people who are.
  • starbucksbuzz
    starbucksbuzz Posts: 466 Member
    I think on a fitness website like this its much more appropriate than at target. If its someone you know or are aquainted with I wouldn't think it would be creepy. Random person at target, definitely higher on the creepy scale. :wink: As long as it's focused on the hard work paying off / camradiere I think it's much more appropriate than something like "woah, sexy!" (much more inappropriate imo, although I know a lot of people wouldn't care.) Also, I should say there are guy friends I have (not on this site) who could say that to me and have it be a genuine compliment / not inappropriate, but from someone random I don't know it would be much more so.
  • catgirl711
    catgirl711 Posts: 59
    Yes there are definitely such things as innocent compliments. At least for me there is.
    Now a not so innocent sounding compliment I got after posting some halfway there pictures was "You're making me excited, that's a good thing"

    Very creepy, very weird especially when I saw the age of the guy who was saying it.

    But especially on here a "Looking good, you must be working very hard" or "Great abs" at least for me are innocent compliments.
  • 6heatherb6
    6heatherb6 Posts: 469 Member
    none of those sound creepy. now, "i want to lick your abs" or "your perfume makes me hungry" etc...crossing the line.
    True....we love nice polite "compliments"...which are sort of like a nice "comment"...
    Do it....you'll make someone's day
    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • SimplyShanRunning
    SimplyShanRunning Posts: 885 Member
    Im offended you would even ask
  • KimertRuns13_1
    KimertRuns13_1 Posts: 702 Member
    I think it can depend on who you are complimenting, someone can take the two examples you gave above as offensive while others would not. I am not easily offended but there are tons of people who are.

    This. I think it really depends on the person you are complimenting. I don't get easily offended.
  • vintx
    vintx Posts: 34
    if there is any doubt, just don't compliment. if you know that they are married or something, i don't think it's appropriate.

    and for me, it's not about creepiness....i like a great compliment as much as the next girl. it's more about appropriateness. JMO. ;)
  • Flossykirk
    Flossykirk Posts: 13 Member
    I personally would be encouraged by a compliment like the ones you described ... some days those are just the thing to help keep me motivated! I would say do it ... you might help get someone out of a rut that day and to see their hard work is well worth it!
    Great question!
  • HopefulLeigh
    HopefulLeigh Posts: 363 Member
    There is absolutely a way to compliment without being creepy. The two examples you gave are both fabulous and very probably wouldn't be taken as creepy. Now, if you were to send an essay going on about the way that person's abs glistened or how very seductive that perfume was ... that's creepy.

    A simple compliment, though? Welcomed and appreciated.:smile:

    Having said that, you look absolutely incredible!
  • NaomiLyn15
    NaomiLyn15 Posts: 388 Member
    I think its all in the delivery. If you sound sleezy when you say it, it is going to come off sleezy, but if it sounds innocent, then say it. I think it is easier to say things on a site like this because people are looking for motivation. If they have posted their picture, they are proud of what they have done. Tell them that their hard work is paying off. That isn't inappropriate.

    I love to hear how I am doing from everyone..... but don't really appreciate the comments that are telling me to read between the lines to get what they are really saying.
  • 6heatherb6
    6heatherb6 Posts: 469 Member
    Creepiness is mostly created by the receiver. Say what you want, but be prepared to duck!
  • doobabe
    doobabe Posts: 436 Member
    Nope...............................

    Well, I guess it depends on WHO and WHAT body part your complimenting..... lol

    Every person may interpret statements a bit differently- just my general opinion.
  • Gigi_licious
    Gigi_licious Posts: 1,185 Member
    Depends on how self absorbed the person is. Give the compliment you want to give, if they take it for more than it's meant as then that's their arrogant problem.
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
    I think there is! Don't despair -- there are those of us who can take a sincere (and well said) compliment. I think the "your hard work is paying off" compliment is very well put.

    I think it's harder to get your true meaning across by just typed words (e-mail, message board) because we say a lot w/ body language and voice that gives clues as to whether the sentiment is sincere, or just plain creepy.
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
    As a guy I think it's OK compliment general appearance.

    " That dress looks nice on you"
    "That color looks good on you"

    Or something similar. Don't get specific about a specific area or use there word "hot" or "sexy" or anything as aggressive as that.

    It seems best to keep it simple and a little more general.
  • peanut613
    peanut613 Posts: 438 Member
    I had a gentleman email me out of the blue one day and paid me a compliment. I think it was something along the lines of being very attractive, keep up the good work. I was totally flattered and told him so!

    I don't think there's anything wrong with saying you look great, especially if they have a before/current pic on display. But it's really all about how you say it. No cheesy pick up lines, no "dayummm girl!". Just a nice, simple compliment.

    Now if a stranger behind me in line at the grocery store started to sniff me and tell me I "smell purdy", I'm gonna run lol
  • Captain_Mal
    Captain_Mal Posts: 945 Member
    I often wonder this... both on sites like this one (where there are a lot of attractive people showing off attractive bodies) and just in every day life. As a guy, how can I give a woman a compliment without it being creepy or a come-on or whatever else.

    Say I see a profile pic of someone showing off their abs... can I send them a simple message saying "Hey, great abs!" or "wow, nice abs... your hard work is really paying off!"

    If I'm inline behind someone at Target and I notice their perfume, can I say, "I like your perfume"?

    Is there even such a thing as an innocent compliment any more?

    I think not personalizing it and not taking it too far is how you avoid being creepy. A simple straight to the point message like "Nice job on those abs" would be acceptable, to me anyways.

    Also out in the real world, I think it's perfectly fine to say something like "I like your perfume, it's a pleasant fragrance". Don't say something like "You smell really good", that makes some of us feel like you've been sniffing us while our backs are turned. I compliment people, male and female often. The other day at Osaka, I thought the girl next to us had lovely hair so I told her so. She didn't seem to be put off by it. It does depend on the person though.
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