ladies: how can we compliment without it being creepy?

124

Replies

  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    As long as a guy knows the difference between giving a compliment and being preverted than it is generally acceptable. I can tell the difference.
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
    As a public service reminder...if you are a midget it is probably a bad idea to walk up to a lady and tell her that her hair smells nice.

    I resmeble that comment.
  • staceyseeger
    staceyseeger Posts: 778 Member
    I never pass up a compliment, giving or receiving! :wink: :wink: :wink:
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    As a public service reminder...if you are a midget it is probably a bad idea to walk up to a lady and tell her that her hair smells nice.

    i love you carl.
  • Lizmhoughton
    Lizmhoughton Posts: 92 Member
    If you dont' have anything nice to say then say nothing at all, but I say if you have something nice then go for it. Just make sure there's no grunting, weird faces, and uncomfortable body language going on when you do. I wouldn't wink either. Those are the no-nos. :)
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
    THIS is Creepy!
    I was shopping with my 7 yrs old son. We were in the parking lot getting into my car and two older men started howling at me like dogs and then yelled How you doin? My son asked Mommy who are they? That was just rude IMO. Every girl likes to be complimented, when done in the right way it makes a gal feel good about herself
  • laylina
    laylina Posts: 50
    I personally love getting compliments. It makes me feel more confident in myself and when your a mom its nice to know you still got it :laugh: . It sounds like you are being respectful and honest so go for it! you'll make at least one person smile. its the comments that are demeaning and disrespectful that are a no no
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
    I like compliments, although not saying them to my chest helps
  • peripah
    peripah Posts: 120 Member
    It's all about context.

    Compliment I found to be creepy:

    I was attending a convention in another city a few weeks ago. Our whole club (we're board gamers - we're nerds, whatevs) attended. My friend and I got changed to go out one evening, then went back to the tables to tell everyone else that we were leaving.

    The next afternoon my friend and I were going to play a game with two guys from our club. My friend and one of the guys went to the bathroom and while I was alone with the other guy the conversation went like this:

    Him: Hey, I wanted to tell you - you looked really hot last night.
    Me: Oh! Well, thank you. Nice of you to say.
    Him: No, I mean, you looked HOT. Like, really hot. (Weird hand motions accompanied)
    Me, face starting to burn: Oh.... um... thanks.
    Him: You looked REALLY good.

    Could he have been hitting on me? Perhaps, but he's starting a new relationship and knows I'm married. I can take a compliment, even a flirty one, but that made me feel uncomfortable.

    What he could have said: "Hey, you looked great last night. Did you guys have fun?"
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    As a public service reminder...if you are a midget it is probably a bad idea to walk up to a lady and tell her that her hair smells nice.

    Thank you for the timely reminder.
  • drdenise
    drdenise Posts: 87 Member
    A compliment doesn't have to be creepy at all. Your example of the target check out line, you could say "Miss, your perfume is very pleasing, I would love to know what it is for my *girlfriend/wife/significant other*." It would compliment her taste in perfume, and yet show in a very polite way it was only meant as a compliment.

    I think for complimenting people who exercise, making it a statement of appreciation for their efforts......too flippant may be a bit more likely to be taken as something other than a compliment. Knowing how hard they work, it is nice to put out a compliment for something appreciated.
  • LadyPersia
    LadyPersia Posts: 1,445 Member
    I would say it, not in a personal message though.
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
    "Miss, your perfume is very pleasing, I would love to know what it is for my *girlfriend/wife/significant other*." It would compliment her taste in perfume, and yet show in a very polite way it was only meant as a compliment.

    I think for complimenting people who exercise, making it a statement of appreciation for their efforts......too flippant may be a bit more likely to be taken as something other than a compliment. Knowing how hard they work, it is nice to put out a compliment for something appreciated.

    .......you lost me at "pleasing."
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
    You cant! You need a prop nowadays something like a kid or puppy. Once she tells you how cute either is you have permission to talk to her. When she probes and ask questions like " awww what's your puppy-child's name" depending what your answer is thats when either you're in or not. BTW the puppy-child's name is always lucky just like his owner.
  • Tujitsu56
    Tujitsu56 Posts: 392 Member
    I've given out many of compliments to Woman in the past and haven't had any problems. I've told woman they are beautiful and left it at that and they never seem to mind. BUT WHO KNOW'S, As I am walking away they could think "He is such a creep" lol. IDK though, I said what I thought and that's that. If they take it wrong BOOO. I would love to get more compliment:)
  • aochoa123
    aochoa123 Posts: 299 Member
    This is just my opinion but I would find a nice complement to be a self estem booster seeing as how I was always the one being made fun of. After losing 143 lbs I would hope to get nice complements now. LOL.
  • AmberLiscous
    AmberLiscous Posts: 644 Member
    I say compliment away........if somebody doesn't like it they will let you know. I love getting compliments....it is definitely a self esteem booster!!!!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I like when people say "bend over and let me see if I can bounce a quarter off that *kitten*"



    j/k - I honestly don't know. The exact compliment from one person sometimes seems not so innocent and really creepy from another, a lot of it has to do with delivery. When I get a pm and I'm not sure how to take it I usually look at that person's activity history (if they aren't private) and see what type of activity they have and take it from there.
  • ABetterBalance
    ABetterBalance Posts: 298
    Of course

    It's a lot about the delivery.

    ^^This.

    I guess you really have to read the person a little bit to see what would be crossing the line. I know I am generally uncomfortable with compliments, mainly because the ones I receive tend to be inappropriate instead of flattering. (Apparently making eye contact and small talk invites "trouble" :grumble: :noway: )

    The guy at work who stares at my butt and calls out "damn, I love seeing you walk by in those skirts" = creep
    The guy who says "you have such a pretty smile" = not a creep

    My advice, keep it simple, and don't drone on-and-on. A non-creepy compliment can make someone's day! :flowerforyou:
  • hbart500
    hbart500 Posts: 243 Member
    I think what you posted would be fine in my opinion...it wouldnt be creepy at all.
  • hbart500
    hbart500 Posts: 243 Member
    I say compliment away........if somebody doesn't like it they will let you know. I love getting compliments....it is definitely a self esteem booster!!!!

    I agree to this fully too!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I often wonder this... both on sites like this one (where there are a lot of attractive people showing off attractive bodies) and just in every day life. As a guy, how can I give a woman a compliment without it being creepy or a come-on or whatever else.

    Say I see a profile pic of someone showing off their abs... can I send them a simple message saying "Hey, great abs!" or "wow, nice abs... your hard work is really paying off!"

    If I'm inline behind someone at Target and I notice their perfume, can I say, "I like your perfume"?

    Is there even such a thing as an innocent compliment any more?

    By the way saying "Hey, great abs!" or "wow, nice abs... your hard work is really paying off!" is much better than "nice rack!" or "you do lots of chest presses don't you" *wink, wink*
    AND "I like your perfume" is much better than "you smell gud"
  • fitplease
    fitplease Posts: 647 Member
    The simple "I ran across your profile and I'm really impressed by you abs. Nice work!" is a perfectly acceptable compliment :)

    That works.

    You need to preface your compliment so she doesn't think you are lusting after her.
  • Mallory0418
    Mallory0418 Posts: 723 Member
    Absolutely OK to give compliments. You are going to find some people (women and men) who can't accept them for whatever reason.

    And, in case you were also wondering, it's also OK to open a door for a woman. I appreciate it and I'm sure I'm not alone there.:smile:

    Yes! I think this is one the sweetest things men (and women) can do for a lady. The other day I was waiting to go through a door a guy was already half way through and he literally pulled the door closed in my face! I thought to myself, Wow, chivalry really is dead! But than another man ran up and opened the door for me as I was reaching for it, totally changing my mind. He smiled at me and actually did say "We're not all jerks." I said thank you and smiled back and we went about our business. Totally un-creepy and very gentlemanly! Again, it's all in the delivery.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    Compliment away! Some people just have crappy self esteem and find a reason to knock down any compliment they are given. As one of those reformed people.... it doesnt mean it still doesnt make us feel good.

    Now, the PM compliments we ladies get around here.... those usually start out nicely enough and then turn bad. So, if you what youre referring to is response to your PMs I can understand that.
  • OfficialPR
    OfficialPR Posts: 1,578 Member
    Compliments must be seasoned with salt so it has a preserving effect on it's listener.
  • CastleMadeOfSand
    CastleMadeOfSand Posts: 432 Member
    I'd like to honestly say I could teach a freaking course on this topic.
  • quigonnjae
    quigonnjae Posts: 399
    ive often wondered the same thing especially when complimenting someone thats of the opposite sex AND younger than myself. I dont want to come across and the creepy old guy so most time I err on the side of caution and keep them to myself unless I know the person really well
  • SarabellPlus3
    SarabellPlus3 Posts: 496 Member
    I would say it, if they take it the wrong way, then that is there big headed problem. Pay me one if you like ;-)
    I agree with this!
    But I would do this:

    But if I were a man I wouldn't send a woman a message on here unless they were friends or had some sort of rapport.

    The woman at the store thing is tricker. I guess you can probably tell when a woman is and is not to be approached.
    That's kind of the 'line' to me. I don't think it'd be creepy really to personally message her, I just think it for sure won't be taken the wrong way if it's out in the open of a thread-- just a "hey, awesome abs," right there in the open-- she put it out there in the open, so it seems like the apt forum.

    As far as compliments in Target go, I don't think it's creepy, but unless you're trying to hit, I'd probably just avoid it just in case. I mean, if you like my perfume, I like hearing that, but some women would take it as more, and the fact is, I can live without knowing you like it. So I'd just cover my butt and not mention it (unless of course, you are trying to hit. LOL In which case it's just a chance you have to take.)
  • CastleMadeOfSand
    CastleMadeOfSand Posts: 432 Member
    Alright if we're talking in public here, guys who look "harmless" like I tend to (I hate it) have this easier but...

    Compliment what a girl is wearing, but only if you can sincerely find it nice. It's a give away if you compliment her blouse when it's clearly a plain blouse or a "shopping" blouse. PS--shoes are the best way to go. Shows you're not necessarily staring at her rear or her chest.

    Also make it a quick delivery like you expect that to be the only interaction. If she doesn't bite or appreciate it--walk away. You have to get good at reading body language. Honestly that's a tool you should learn in all walks of life anyway. If she does appreciate it genuinely, her body language will open. I promise you. Don't BS a girl when you say something this random to her, and it will work more often than not.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories