I had a major realization today...

First, I can completely understand how you feel. I think many of us on this site have had this realization at one time or another.

The first thing that I want to say to you is this:
NEVER QUESTION YOUR HUSBAND'S/BOYFRIEND'S LOVE FOR YOU!! He loves you for the person you are. Not for the size you wear. He loves you because of how he feels when he's with you. He loves you for a million little reasons that you couldn't possibly even fathom. His love for you isn't contingent on what your weight is or where you shop for clothing. It just is. Please understand that.

Secondly:
When you begin to make this change in your life (and it will have to be a life-change), you must do it for you. No one else. Not him, not your family, not your friends... just you! This is truly the one time in your life that you can be as selfish as you want. If your desire to be healthy and lose weight is anchored on someone or something else, it will not last. So before you commit to doing this, take some time and think about the reasons why you want to do it. If you have it settled in your heart and soul that this is what you want, then there is nothing or no one that will be able to hold you back. There will be challenges setbacks, we are only human of course, but you'll have that strength within you to stand back up and keep going. Failure isn't the end. It just shows us that we need to try something different.

Thirdly:
Find someone to confide in regarding this area of your life. And don't be surprised if your friends and family aren't as excited about your new health plans as you are. You will need the support and encouragement. I have a few friends on MFP that are always there to assist and encourage. I also have a friend IRL that is here with me and can share in my struggle and successes. I am so very grateful that person is my husband. I know there are many people whose spouses aren't exactly on the same page regarding healthy living. But having that person you can call when the bag or Oreos is open on the table and you're ready to eat the entire thing because the baby won't stop crying, the car has a flat, and a check bounced is worth more than their weight in gold!!

Regardless of your weight, you are a beautiful, loved person. That will not change as the scale changes.

I really hope you have a better evening. And if you ever need to vent, please feel free to add me!

With a few minor adjustments, I could have written that. The photo that put me over the edge was from my vacation, and I lost 10 pounds before we left! I couldn't believe that's how I really looked, it forced me to realize how much weight I'd really put on.

Once I had to face the facts, the problems with my diet became glaringly obvious. How did I think it was ok to use an entire stick of butter every time I cooked dinner? How had I deluded myself into thinking home-made alfredo sauce was healthy (sure, healthier than the chemical laden jar versions, but still atrociously high in calories per serving)? How did I think eating deli sandwiches with mayo and cheese every day for lunch was good for me?

The important part is you are being real now, and you know you need to get real about lifestyle changes. Excuses are easy, changes are hard - at first. I was pleasantly surprised how easy it has been to drop the next 10 pounds, and counting! The smallest changes make such huge differences. You can do this! And you don't have to do it alone. Use the forums, make friends on MFP for encouragement and support (feel free to add me if you'd like), set some realistic goals and see how easy it is to meet them!

I am in constant denial about how I really look. I avoided pictures for years because I just couldn't stand to be seen. And I have this really terrible picture of me sitting sideways in a chair, looking like I weigh 500 lbs instead of 300. I've lost a little weight since then, but what I've learned is, (and I'm eating halloween candy while writing this so take it with a grain of salt) You have to love what you see in the mirror, and pictures. Its you. If you don't, no matter what weight you're at you'll never see yourself as you are; beautiful and intelligent and capable of accomplishing anything you set your mind to.

I know exactly how you feel!!!
After seeing myself in my friends wedding pictures I had the *click* where I knew I wasn't just "bigger" anymore and had a complete meltdown. I probably cried for a good hour straight then got angry and purged my kitchen of all the junk food I had and my closet of all of the clothes that no longer fit me (I regret getting rid of the clothes now...).
As crappy as that all was, that was the wake up call I needed to get me back in motion and care about myself again!

It's a tough journey and you'll have good days and bad days but places like MFP really help!!!


You can't push through a wall until you've hit it. This is you hitting that wall, now it's time to break through and become a better you!!!

Good Luck with your journey!!!

You are gold now. This is the beginning. Nothing will hold you back now from changing your life.

I felt exactly the same, I never realised how big I'd got either but once I'd seen it I used it to take control of my eating habits and I am now determined to get it off. Don't get too down about it, use it now as your motivation to get fit and healthy and get the weight off!

Crying won't help. Those tears will not wash away the pounds. Exercise and a healthy diet will. You know what you need to do, so wipe away the tears and get started. The sooner you begin, the sooner you will succeed.

The same thing happened to me. Last year was my first year of college, so of course I gained the "Freshman 15". By Christmas when I got to see a lot of my friends from high school again, I could tell they could tell I was heavier and the pictures taken then were HORRIBLE. Over the holiday break I started to get serious about losing that weight. To some people, and extra 15 or 20 pounds might not seem like a lot to lose compared to 50 or even 100, but losing any amount of weight takes hard work and support from people who understand.

STOP WALLOWING AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! I know that seems impossible but it's not. It's definitely not easy and you WILL mess up somewhere along the way; I do all the time. But it's important to keep going. Good luck!

Oh, I can relate! I had been on MFP for a few days and had lost a few pounds by Halloween. I don't know why, but when I start losing weight all of a sudden I just FEEL skinny. Even though I look exactly the same. So when I saw photos from Halloween, I was so disappointed that I didn't look as skinny as I felt. It totally messed with my head, too, because today I just said to heck with it and ate a whole bunch of Halloween candy.

I'm back on the wagon tomorrow and I'm just going to power through it. Just remember that the people in our lives love us for who we are, and people who see us all the time don't notice our fat when they see us. Because to them, we just look like us.