Awesome Drunk Stories...

College. Friend's 21st birthday (at his parents' house)... We had a GREAT time. Around midnight, another friend (not the birthday boy), Chris, passed out. A little while later, Chris started walking around the basement. Joe (another friend) made a comment to the effect of, "Hey, that's the number of turns he'd make going from his room to the bathroom at home." Chris then proceeded to lift up one of the (leather) couch cushions like it was a toilet lid and pee all over the couch under the cushion.

My husband got TANKED and decided to wander off while the rest of us sat around the bbq outside. About an hour later, we see him come back and try and do some Matrix jump move from one bush to another.. which ultimately lead to him flailing himself into a bush...

Then later on that night, he drops a almost-full Carona on the ground and SWEARS that it busted a hole in the sidewalk. Not the fact that the cracked hole had already been there, but his superhuman drunk strength smashed a hole in the ground with a glass bottle.

Was at a friends house....got really drunk....ended up in the neighbor hot tub....skinny dipping with our friends at 2 in the morning.....then I fell walking up her boyfriends narrow stairs and stumbled into their parents bedroom instead of the room I was sleeping in.....then I woke up in the morning still drunk and fell walking down the narrow stairs....went out to the barn and had another drink......Great weekend! LOL

Were the parents IN the room?? *LOL*

LMAO Yup.......

I usually drink straight flavored vodka but a friend insisted on making the drinks with juice. Since I couldn't taste much of the vodka, I assumed he just hadn't put much in. Four drinks later, we were high fiving everyone at the trolley stop close by. I woke up the next morning dreaming he had spray painted a giant eyeball on the college across from my condo. When I walked outside to take my puppy out, I looked across the street, and saw a giant eyeball.

I walked around for the next week paranoid everytime I saw a cop car.

I have no fun drunk stories. I've never been so drunk I got disoriented... And apparently my friends are boring, too. Haha.

On our honeymoon in Florida we both had a bit too much to drink and went out to smoke. My husband then said..."If you're going to get in the car, you better do it now!". I was like OK and so when we got in he informed me that we were gonna dine and ditch and we squeeled out of the lot only to park our rental car around the corner at our hotel. We thought we were so smart to dine and ditch at the restaurant a half block away from this sushi joint LOL. We are standing in the lobby drunk as shiii* and the japanese waiter taps me on the shoulder and informs me we will pay now or he will call the cops. My husband bolts over the pool fence (which makes me die laughing now cause he carries himself with so much respect 98% of the time and here he is bolting over a pool fence). Me not so clever, yet not holding our credit card was taken hostage at the restaurant untill he came back to get me with his tail between his legs and pay the damn bill. Best stupid non logical drunk night of our lives LOL

I have much funnier ones than this, but this is shorter. I went to a party at a girls house I had just met that I really was interested in. She wasn't, but her parents house was HUGE and awesome and the party was well funded. I figured dignity was less important. After 4 or 5 games of beer pong which my team won thoroughly, we played guys who admittedly were amazing at it. I consider myself a pro, they were legends.

I did not handle the loss well and decided to challenge one of them (it was friendly, mind you) shot for shot on a jack daniels bottle they brought. I honestly can't remember who won, it may have been him or me doesn't matter. What I do remember is walking, err, stumbling into the house muttering about needing water and food. I was SO drunk and extremely naive to anything that impairs other than alcohol, by the way.

I find a giant plate of amazing looking brownies. (Yes I realize this sounds easy to discern, but I was so loaded I probably couldn't have told you they were brownies.) I ate one, then the entire. freaking. plate.

About 30 minutes later I am annoyed that the muscles in my body had no intentions of letting me move from the couch. Then the 4 diamonds on the wall started spinning with numbers in each side changing every few seconds. I tried for the first bit to figure out if they were a code, then I insisted to a random stranger that they were torturing me and that I could see them even with my eyes closed. I was informed by somebody who had no face that I was now persona non grata because I ate some fine food they were saving. Whatever, I was being tortured by numbers with diamonds. I texted the friend I brought with me to rescue me. I walked outside and vomited. A lot. (Turns out, whatever I vomited killed all the plants in the mini-garden, including making them look like they were burned.)

Next morning at 11, I still felt like I was walking 4 feet above the ground and vowed to never be that naive again. Somebody recently told me to watch "Smiley Face." I did. It was not funny to me, merely familiar...

I lived in an area where all the houses looked the same. One of my neighbors came home drunk to the wrong house, couldn't get in so he kept ringing the doorbell. I opened the door and asked Jeff what the heck he was doing. He stumbled past me, said something about the "new" furniture and passed out on my couch. I had to go 2 houses down and get his wife. It took her my husband and myself to drag his but home!! I did however make him was my truck every weekend for a month!!

Lol thats hilarious!