Boyfriend is sabotaging me!

kellicruz1978
kellicruz1978 Posts: 170 Member
edited October 4 in Health and Weight Loss
I have been dealing with this since I started my weightloss journey in July. He used to make fun of me while I worked out, so now I make sure I don't do it while he's around. Now, he's trying to sabotage me with food. I posted pics of the crap he brings home. Last night he dug out a tub of ice cream from the freezer and literally tried to force feed me a spoonful of it. Of course I refused, turned my head and the spoonful fell into my lap. Then he went to the store late, about 10:30 pm and bought pringles and other junk food and tried to get me to eat that. What the hell his wrong with him???? Has anyone else experienced this? I have told him many times to stop doing stuff like this, but he just doesn't get it.
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Replies

  • EmmieBaby
    EmmieBaby Posts: 1,235 Member
    maybe hes jealous of your improving?
    I know my ex used to keep me big to control me, he would make sure I was fat so that no other man would look at me....no offence but maybe thats what he is trying to do...make sure you dont get too thin and confident and sexy and leave him.

    or he could just be a *kitten*.....just sayng
  • _Peacebone_
    _Peacebone_ Posts: 229 Member
    It sounds like he's being more of an immature brother than a boyfriend.
  • RNMDFF
    RNMDFF Posts: 153 Member
    Have you had a SERIOUS talk with him? If he loves you, he should support you. He maybe be jealous of you losing and feeling bad that he can't change. He also might not be confident in your relationship that if you lose weight you might dump him

    good luck
  • redmeat65
    redmeat65 Posts: 1
    Sit him down and tell him why your are dieting and how much his lack of support is impacting on you.
    Maybe find out why he is doing this, is he amybe a bit jealous as you are losing weight and he is feeling a little threatened, maybe he thinks you might look somewhere else. Men often don't like sharing there emaotions and act out in different ways, they are are children at heart. If he really cares for you he will respect what you are trying to do, if none of this works maybe he is not the person you need to be with, that is of course just my opinion and you can tell me to shut up :-)
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    First of all I agree with the replies here, but I'm going to ask one thing: Is he fat?

    yes, I'm going there.
  • swander572
    swander572 Posts: 20
    He might appear to be joking but he is serious about getting you to stop eating healthy. You need to have a SERIOUS talk with him (like sit him down, no smiling).
    If he doesn't stop..then I say forget him. Because whats more important- your boyfriend or your health? You decide.
  • MariSama44
    MariSama44 Posts: 340 Member
    Is he big himself?He might just be jealous of your success, or feeling like he is inadequate because he isn't able to care for himself on the level you do. The easiest way to feel better about yourself is to bring others down to your level with you so you can't feel left behind or different.

    It could also be that he is afraid other people will start checking you out if you get too sexy. ;) But really. I've seen a lot of people fatten-up their significant other because it makes the other partner dependent, unwanted by other suitors and unable to leave the relationship. Its sick but I've seen it happen.

    Lastly, If he is just teasing you for fun and amusement, then he's just simply a douchewaffle.

    Just be vigilant and never put yourself after others' wants and desires. You know you have to be healthy, be healthy. If he truly loves you then he will learn to understand and respect your boundaries eventually. If he continues attempting to change you or mess up the things you hold important or ruin your goals, then its probably time to review the situation more seriously. Don't compromise.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
    It sounds like he's being more of an immature brother than a boyfriend.


    ^ love this reply:)

    But seriously he definitely needs to man up and be more supportive! You are committing to a healthy lifestyle and he should be proud of you!
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    Why the hell is he your boyfriend? Sorry but no significant other should be pulling this bulls*** on ANYONE... Put your foot down, or use your foot to kick him to the curb... you dont need that *kitten* in your life!
  • snyakowa
    snyakowa Posts: 41 Member
    First of all I agree with the replies here, but I'm going to ask one thing: Is he fat?

    yes, I'm going there.

    lol sounds harsh but was wondering the same, talk to him girl and let him know who wears the pants in the house..jk, if he's not supporting you and you've talked to him about his doings before then maybe it's about time to tell him he needs to make a choice. are you going support me or am I going to kick you out!
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,519 Member
    Most guys are oblivious unless you tell them how you feel seriously and directly. If he still doesn't respect your wishes, he's not worth it.
  • Cathleenr
    Cathleenr Posts: 332
    I have been dealing with this since I started my weightloss journey in July. He used to make fun of me while I worked out, so now I make sure I don't do it while he's around. Now, he's trying to sabotage me with food. I posted pics of the crap he brings home. Last night he dug out a tub of ice cream from the freezer and literally tried to force feed me a spoonful of it. Of course I refused, turned my head and the spoonful fell into my lap. Then he went to the store late, about 10:30 pm and bought pringles and other junk food and tried to get me to eat that. What the hell his wrong with him???? Has anyone else experienced this? I have told him many times to stop doing stuff like this, but he just doesn't get it.


    lol WHY are you wasting time with this guy? i mean, I could understand if he didnt want to change his eating habits and went on with the ice cream and all, but purposely going to the store to get foods he knows you will not eat and try to force you? that is sick and wrong and do you really have the time and patience not only to continue with your own journey but try to deal with his issues as well? i vote him off the island.
  • kellicruz1978
    kellicruz1978 Posts: 170 Member
    No, he's not fat. He's skinny, but not healthy at all.
  • Loolypooly
    Loolypooly Posts: 15
    My mother does this, would love to see more rplies on how to deal! You have my sympathy!
  • Cathleenr
    Cathleenr Posts: 332
    My mother does this, would love to see more rplies on how to deal! You have my sympathy!


    well, you can't really fire your mom like you can a dumbass (soon-to-be-ex-i-hope) boyfriend
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    No, he's not fat. He's skinny, but not healthy at all.

    Ok, then he's just being a d1cknugget. I think you should have a chat with him and let him know that you're serious about your goals and that he can either be supportive or at the very least, stop interfering. If he doesn't choose to do this I would kick him to the curb.






















    Or you could donkey punch him in his sleep.
  • kellicruz1978
    kellicruz1978 Posts: 170 Member
    All the responses are awesome! It's okay to be "brutal", I need honesty. As of right now I am throwing away the junk he's brought in this house...and tonight there will be a more serious talk.
  • Tujitsu56
    Tujitsu56 Posts: 392 Member
    This is dead on. Might think of it as a joke and find your reactions amusing.
    Most guys are oblivious unless you tell them how you feel seriously and directly. If he still doesn't respect your wishes, he's not worth it.
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    All the responses are awesome! It's okay to be "brutal", I need honesty. As of right now I am throwing away the junk he's brought in this house...and tonight there will be a more serious talk.

    Does he live there and did he buy that food for him? Only asking because I don't know that you need to toss it in the garbage, that's wasteful even though it's food you don't prefer to eat. Make him take it home if he doesn't live there.
  • CannibalisticVegetarian
    CannibalisticVegetarian Posts: 1,255 Member
    Do you think that mayhaps he's scared that once you get all the weight off, you'll leave him high and dry? *shrugs* Could be a possibility.
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    Do you think that mayhaps he's scared that once you get all the weight off, you'll leave him high and dry? *shrugs* Could be a possibility.

    ^ Extra points for using "mayhaps".
  • greenbubblegum
    greenbubblegum Posts: 26 Member
    Get rid of him.
  • oaken
    oaken Posts: 35 Member
    A lot of partners do this because they feel that once you lose the weight, you will lose them for someone else that's better. Maybe he thinks you'll meet someone that's as into fitness as you are or will be and he's very insecure about that.

    This is still unhealthy. You cannot succumb to this. He is impeding your ability to lose weight and that is sabotaging your health. He wants to keep you at a weight that he can "keep you." Does this make sense?

    To be completely honest, I would leave him. That kind of sabotage will continue. If he will not change and he will not support you, then you cannot stay in this unhealthy relationship.

    You'd think they'd want a hot-sexy girlfriend, but really where it comes from is insecurity. He's afraid you'll dump him when you get skinny/healthy. What he has not considered is that you might dump him now for his actions, instead of later when you are healthy/skinny (whatever you wanna call it).

    BE CAREFUL WITH THIS ONE!
  • stefchica
    stefchica Posts: 257 Member
    because you are totally changing your lifestyle!!! have yout ried including him in it?? if he's refusing, then more than likely he's just doing it to piss you off, he doesnt want you to look better, he's insecure about how you could potentially look, he's threatened or you've tried this diet thing before, failed and right back to eating crappy like he does.

    i had a bf like that in high school, he was always trying to feed me crap and when i was dieting i refused, well he would always eat **** in front of me and try to force me to eat it. after i dropped all my weight he told me i looked good but he would still say things to me, call me fatty and try to keep me down.

    what i REALLY HONESTLY think is that if you do lose weight you'll gain new self confidence and he may feel threatened by that and thinks you MIGHT leave him once you have your new bod and attitude. if he didnt care he wouldnt be doing that to you. i woul djust ask him wtf when he is trying to shove food in your mouth. if your frustrated to the point, dont do it the nice way lol be honest about how you feel at that moment and show it. if your mad, snap at him! he'll only get the point that way.

    but thats just me..and i tend to be more blunt and forward about how i approach things.
  • genxrider
    genxrider Posts: 107 Member
    Get rid of him.

    This. That's quite a lot of immaturity going on there - what is he, 12? Kick him to the curb.

    Best advice ever from my aunt in regards to men (or partners in general of whatever ilk) - Never marry (date/live with/whatever) a man who can not give you at least what you can give yourself. And that's not really all about the material stuff.
  • tena1028
    tena1028 Posts: 80 Member
    Kick him to the curb. You can get a workout in while you do it. :laugh:
  • Scorpioangel
    Scorpioangel Posts: 951 Member
    Oh wow I had the same thing happening to me - Nothing is more annoying than a spoon coming at your mouth like you are a baby.. believe me and that just started this past weekend with him. It sucks girl.
  • nicehormones
    nicehormones Posts: 503 Member
    He sounds like a real tool. Boyfriends should be nothing but supportive of things that are important to you, regardless of their opinion on it.
  • FuerImmerStark
    FuerImmerStark Posts: 144
    I have the opposite problem. My boyfriend monitors what I eat constantly, and calls me names if I don't work out. He's "trying to help," but it sucks.
  • tiptoeketo
    tiptoeketo Posts: 271 Member
    Get rid of him.

    Sounds about right!
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