I feel like my family are sabotaging me!!

kellylara93
kellylara93 Posts: 228
Hi Im Lara.

Im the only person in my family who is on a diet.

And my family are supportive of me trying to lose weigh, HOWEVER, they all eat crap all the time! And they are constantly eating bad food (AND DELICIOUS) around me or in front of me.

I eat completely seperate meals to them for this reason.

But I feel so alone in my house now!

:( arghh
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Replies

  • MîîśÊmÿłõü
    MîîśÊmÿłõü Posts: 285 Member
    i know how you feel!

    except in my situation my mother in law does fly in fly out work and when shes home her cooking is shockingly
    bad for my diet :(

    i do sepparate shopping to her and am starting todo my own meals just so i dont have to eat her food :(

    we will get there! :D
  • hush7hush
    hush7hush Posts: 2,273 Member
    Be strong! If it means enough to you, you'll get through it.
  • KatieCuth
    KatieCuth Posts: 569 Member
    Im lucky my family love my healthy meals, but my partner and daughter have desserts and also biscuits rrrrrrr
  • rebecca_lc28
    rebecca_lc28 Posts: 93 Member
    I know how you feel.. :explode: my family where down this weekend and i have NO junk food in my house what so ever so after feeding them a nice healthy tea my dad ducks of to the 7/11 and comes back with TWO BAGS OF CHIPS!! and was sitting there eating them in front of me thank god for my will power but i thought he would have some respect and not eat junk food in front of me!!

    :explode: :explode: :explode: :explode: :explode: :explode:
  • Avyon
    Avyon Posts: 8 Member
    It's not my family but my coworkers sometimes! You just have to be strong and stick to your guns. Like the others I buy my own foods and prepare them at home. For the office I only allow myself to go out once a week with everyone the rest of the time its my own lunch.
  • I feel the same way. There are times when I eat the very same meals as them, but as of lately, I've began to shop for my own foods and come up with little low-cal recipes. It makes me a little sad though that I have to eat something completely different. By the time they have dinner laid out (pizza, hotdogs, etc.), I'm still standing in the kitchen all by my lonesome.. chopping and such. .___.
  • KatieCuth
    KatieCuth Posts: 569 Member
    It's not my family but my coworkers sometimes! You just have to be strong and stick to your guns. Like the others I buy my own foods and prepare them at home. For the office I only allow myself to go out once a week with everyone the rest of the time its my own lunch.

    work is the worse, always a morning tea going on.. Sausage rolls, party pies, spring rolls and CHEESECAKE...
  • kikkipoo
    kikkipoo Posts: 292 Member
    Try going to the in-laws and attempt to count calories. Oy. I have one of those amazing authentic Mexican mother in laws who makes spanish rice and beans with everything and hubby just gives me that look when I go to grab my phone that says "don't you dare you will insult her." So, instead, I just have to act incredibly full after a few bites and try to compensate for it later. But, it's worth it. The food is amazing and as long as we make the majority of right decisions, there isn't anything we shouldn't be able to eat on the occasion.
    Nobody is deliberately trying to sabotage you. We just have to realize the whole world isn't going to change their behaviors because we go on a diet. I've just learned to accept it and move on.
  • shauna121211
    shauna121211 Posts: 575 Member
    There's only one solution... you're going to have to move out.



    Haha jk!

    I think every has to deal with that to some extent whether it's at home with your family every day or out to eat with friends. it's just something you'll have to learn to deal with! I would suggest cooking for your family once in a while. They might find they like your healthy food!
  • kikkipoo
    kikkipoo Posts: 292 Member
    I wanted to add one other thing, and it is something you will eventually achieve. People have gone from not only commenting about the foods I eat and eating things in front of me, to the point where my skinny best friend actually made some cheesy, sausage potato quiche and posted a pic of it on Facebook with a comment "this is for my health nut friends...yum, yum, yum" In the same breath I wanted to chew her out and tell her how disrespectful that was, and then I realized she was hurting nobody but herself, so why should I care. Those foods no longer appeal to me. I see someone drinking a sugary starbuck and all that comes to mind is the calories, the fat, the non-existent protein, and worst of all, how many teaspoons of sugar it is equivalent to. Just 1 bottle of sunkist orange soda is like swallowing 17 teaspoons of sugar. That's nauseating to even think about, however this particular friend buys and drinks them like they are going out of style. When it catches up to her, I'll be getting the last laugh and it will be me that she comes to for support. Nobody can make you feel bad with food if you always keep in the back of your mind what it is doing to their bodies and what it isn't doing to yours by not eating it.
  • lyssmi
    lyssmi Posts: 5 Member
    Totally understand. I am in college, but I went home for the summer. My family was eating out for almost every meal. It was ridiculous! All the effort that I had put in before going home was pretty much gone. I had to start eating meals separate too. it is hard. Hang in there!
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    Hi Im Lara.

    Im the only person in my family who is on a diet.

    And my family are supportive of me trying to lose weigh, HOWEVER, they all eat crap all the time! And they are constantly eating bad food (AND DELICIOUS) around me or in front of me.

    I eat completely seperate meals to them for this reason.

    But I feel so alone in my house now!

    :( arghh


    YOU are on a diet not THEM. They should all have to change their eating habits because you are?
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    I know how you feel.. :explode: my family where down this weekend and i have NO junk food in my house what so ever so after feeding them a nice healthy tea my dad ducks of to the 7/11 and comes back with TWO BAGS OF CHIPS!! and was sitting there eating them in front of me thank god for my will power but i thought he would have some respect and not eat junk food in front of me!!

    :explode: :explode: :explode: :explode: :explode: :explode:

    Why I understand its hard to see people eat stuff you feel you cant,them eating chips in front of you is not a lack of respect. Just like you NOT eating chips infront of them is not a lack of respect
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Maybe they feel like you are disrespecting them too! Can't you find some way to compromise in your house? There are some very delicious meals you can make for your family that they won't even think about being 'diet' meals. If you were in my family, I would say it is disrepectful for you not to eat with the rest of us. If this is going to be a lifestyle change, then you will probably need to find some different tactics to deal with what people around you are eating.
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    People eat, they like to eat in their own house. Just because you are in that house while they eat does not mean they are doing it to spite you.
  • Kandace_Riopel
    Kandace_Riopel Posts: 80 Member
    I'm going through this now. my grandparents (who live with me) are both overweight. They eat junk ALL the time. When i go looking for a healthy snack at night im staring at so much unhealthy choices. my weight loss journey has been a roller coaster because of it. and than the cooking! ... my gma is from newfoundland and man can she cook! ... its so hard not to eat 3 plates of her cooking! .. but the worst for me was my recent hospital trip. i was admitted on thursday after having surgery which required that i fast before hand. she showed up on friday with CANDY those little 5 cent ones that i CANT resist. and a container of pringles. at this point i was still on a strick liquid diet and couldnt even eat solids. im proud to say that those things came home with me on sunday when i was released still intack never touched. i had 1 serving of pringles (150 calories) and still havent touched the candy! its hard but if i can do it YOU can do it! ..... my husband also eats alot of crap in front of me so i finally learned to ask him to leave the room till hes done! .... at first he didnt like it but i told him i need his support. being the sweetheart he is he told me that im perfect the way i am and i dont have to change but i told him im not doing it for you im doing this for ME!
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    Ok I took a look at your diary,if that is really how your eating then no wonder you cant stand to see your family eat. you are starving.
    Listen I dont know you or your story but this is not the way to lose weight. The only one who is going to sabotage you is you.
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    Ok I took a look at your diary,if that is really how your eating then no wonder you cant stand to see your family eat. you are starving.
    Listen I dont know you or your story but this is not the way to lose weight. The only one who is going to sabotage you is you.

    I agree with this wholeheartedly. You are not eating enough food. It's not your family's fault you feel hungry when they are eating. Your body is trying to tell you it needs more.
  • I agree there has to be a compromise. My husband and I have completely different calorie needs -- he is a construction worker and he is lifting weights to bulk up -- he consumes a ridiculous amount of calories compared to me. BUT when we are together we eat the same meal at the same table together. He has larger portions, sometimes different side dishes - but we respect each others needs and enjoy our meals together. He eats cookies (which I bake for him) and trail mix, nuts, things like that all afternoon/evening when we are together. It's not disrepectful to me, I just know I can't have them. (or much if I do). He'll also drink a dozen beers on any given Saturday... again -- not an option for me, but I wouldn't ask him or tell him not to because I can't... that'd just be rude! Maybe you could learn to cook some meals that you could all enjoy together instead of eating boxed up "diet" food. :flowerforyou:
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    I'm going through this now. my grandparents (who live with me) are both overweight. They eat junk ALL the time. When i go looking for a healthy snack at night im staring at so much unhealthy choices. my weight loss journey has been a roller coaster because of it. and than the cooking! ... my gma is from newfoundland and man can she cook! ... its so hard not to eat 3 plates of her cooking! .. but the worst for me was my recent hospital trip. i was admitted on thursday after having surgery which required that i fast before hand. she showed up on friday with CANDY those little 5 cent ones that i CANT resist. and a container of pringles. at this point i was still on a strick liquid diet and couldnt even eat solids. im proud to say that those things came home with me on sunday when i was released still intack never touched. i had 1 serving of pringles (150 calories) and still havent touched the candy! its hard but if i can do it YOU can do it! ..... my husband also eats alot of crap in front of me so i finally learned to ask him to leave the room till hes done! .... at first he didnt like it but i told him i need his support. being the sweetheart he is he told me that im perfect the way i am and i dont have to change but i told him im not doing it for you im doing this for ME!

    Why does your husband have to leave the room? If you don't like what is happening there, you should leave. Everyone else's lives don't stop because we are trying to lose weight. My 3 and 5 year olds don't have to stop eating their snacks and stop eating them in front of me because I am losing weight. My husband doesn't have to live on carrot sticks because I am losing weight. People at work don't have to stop bringing in cookies because I am losing weight. Would it be easier for me if everyone started doing the same thing I am? Sure, but it isn't realistic to expect and disrespectful to others to expect from them.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    Ok I took a look at your diary,if that is really how your eating then no wonder you cant stand to see your family eat. you are starving.
    Listen I dont know you or your story but this is not the way to lose weight. The only one who is going to sabotage you is you.

    I agree with this wholeheartedly. You are not eating enough food. It's not your family's fault you feel hungry when they are eating. Your body is trying to tell you it needs more.

    I third this. You need to eat more.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Ok I took a look at your diary,if that is really how your eating then no wonder you cant stand to see your family eat. you are starving.
    Listen I dont know you or your story but this is not the way to lose weight. The only one who is going to sabotage you is you.

    I agree with this wholeheartedly. You are not eating enough food. It's not your family's fault you feel hungry when they are eating. Your body is trying to tell you it needs more.

    ^^ This too! Eat some real food, and meet your calorie goals. You can add fruits and veggies to bulk up your diet and that alone would help you to feel like you aren't starving so much.
  • Ok I took a look at your diary,if that is really how your eating then no wonder you cant stand to see your family eat. you are starving.
    Listen I dont know you or your story but this is not the way to lose weight. The only one who is going to sabotage you is you.

    Wow, I looked back a few more days... Fear is so right, if you are logging everything you eat and are only eating 800 calories a day you are putting your health at risk!
  • KyleB65
    KyleB65 Posts: 1,196 Member
    Focus, Focus, Focus!
    The decision to change has to be yours and the effort has to be yours!
    What goes on around you are nothing but minor distractions.
    Set your goals, make a plan and follow through. In the end the results & benefits will be yours.
    It is always harder to be the person who does something different. But in the end is not the unique individuals whom we respect the most? Those people with the drive to accomplish their goals regardless of any obstacles?

    Good Luck and keep up the good work.
  • Thanks to all of you! It's nice to finally find some support out there! My spouse likes to say he's supportive, but when I try to loose he eats a bunch of crap in front of me and asks me if I want any of it. When I complain about it, he says "I love you just the way you are! Isn't that enough?" Arrrggh! Work isn't much help either. We have what's called a "snack shack," but I like to call it the "fat shack."
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    I'm going through this now. my grandparents (who live with me) are both overweight. They eat junk ALL the time. When i go looking for a healthy snack at night im staring at so much unhealthy choices. my weight loss journey has been a roller coaster because of it. and than the cooking! ... my gma is from newfoundland and man can she cook! ... its so hard not to eat 3 plates of her cooking! .. but the worst for me was my recent hospital trip. i was admitted on thursday after having surgery which required that i fast before hand. she showed up on friday with CANDY those little 5 cent ones that i CANT resist. and a container of pringles. at this point i was still on a strick liquid diet and couldnt even eat solids. im proud to say that those things came home with me on sunday when i was released still intack never touched. i had 1 serving of pringles (150 calories) and still havent touched the candy! its hard but if i can do it YOU can do it! ..... my husband also eats alot of crap in front of me so i finally learned to ask him to leave the room till hes done! .... at first he didnt like it but i told him i need his support. being the sweetheart he is he told me that im perfect the way i am and i dont have to change but i told him im not doing it for you im doing this for ME!

    I wouldn't like to be told to leave just for wanting a snack! That is the most selfish thing I've ever heard. If you don't have the self control to be around someone eating, it's your problem and you need to leave.
  • FIRSTLY: Im not hungry all the time.

    SECONDLY: Didnt ask for your opinion on my diary? (I am constantly working, and the 5 minutes I DO get a chance to eat has NOTHING to do with you)

    REALLY DONT APPRECIATE GETTING ATTACKED, MY BODY, MY CHOICE.

    THANKS!
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    FIRSTLY: Im not hungry all the time.

    SECONDLY: Didnt ask for your opinion on my diary? (I am constantly working, and the 5 minutes I DO get a chance to eat has NOTHING to do with you)

    REALLY DONT APPRECIATE GETTING ATTACKED, MY BODY, MY CHOICE.

    THANKS!

    Noboby attacked you,us giving our opinions on the fact that you eat 800 calories a day is not attacking.Yes it is your body your choice. But we still have a right to give our opinions.When you post on a public forum you are opening yourself up for all opinions even the ones you dont like.
    You might also want to look up the word attack to learn its true definition because nowhere in this thread were you attacked
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    FIRSTLY: Im not hungry all the time.

    SECONDLY: Didnt ask for your opinion on my diary? (I am constantly working, and the 5 minutes I DO get a chance to eat has NOTHING to do with you)

    REALLY DONT APPRECIATE GETTING ATTACKED, MY BODY, MY CHOICE.

    THANKS!

    I don't see where you are being attacked. All I see is people concerned for your health. It's ok that you're busy, but that just means your body needs even more fuel to function. We don't want to see you doing permanent damage to your body.

    Your original post said you felt your family was sabotaging you. There is a big difference between feeling disconnected from others and them making a conscious effort to hurt you with their actions. You said your family is supportive, why not ask them to share in a healthy meal with you. There are some great ways to make healthy dinners for the whole family.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    Maybe they feel like you are disrespecting them too! Can't you find some way to compromise in your house? There are some very delicious meals you can make for your family that they won't even think about being 'diet' meals. If you were in my family, I would say it is disrepectful for you not to eat with the rest of us. If this is going to be a lifestyle change, then you will probably need to find some different tactics to deal with what people around you are eating.


    If the family TRULY is supportive, they will not have one word to say nor ill feeling if she has to do this.


    Its NOT disrespectful in any way shape or form! If the foods the family makes are not something you can trust yourself with, nor can have, making a meal that you CAN enjoy means you are holding yourself responsible AND still sitting at the table with your family enjoying a meal together.

    The OP made it very clear that she acknowledges the family making meals that are counter to her weight-loss efforts, and SHE is taking responsibility for herself to prepare a meal that she CAN have and still sit at the table with them together.



    My rule when inviting people over for dinner is that I want them to feel free to bring a dish with them if they would like to. I have way too many dietary restrictions ordered by the physicians and specialists I see and need to prepare accordingly. My husband supports me 100% and actually enjoys the meals I make (I work as a Chef for a living, he is SPOILED! )

    I tell my guests what I am preparing as a way to help them to determine what they may plan on bringing along.


    No... its NOT disrespectful...
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