Should I treat this like AA? Hi, my name is Melissa and I'm

I'm frustrated. With myself, with life, just...frustrated.

I know I need to make a change in my life, a BIG change. I'm damn near obese and that pisses me off. I hate that I am 23 and the biggest person I know. I hate that I haven't been strong enough to truly exercise and eat right. I hate that I hate so many things!

I love my family, my friends and the thought of living a normal life. One that doesn't include self loathing. I know that because I'm all ready overweight I will always have to pay attention to what I'm eating and how much I'm moving. My hope is that one day that attention won't be so time consuming and overwhelming.

Everyday I think about food. Everyday I think about exercise. Some days I will actually eat good things (and correct portions of them) and sometimes I even add exercise! But that's not my norm. I despiratly want to just go through the day, everyday, doing what is good for me without over thinking every step.

OK! Pity party way over. I'm not this whinny or pathetic, well, I don't allow people to know that I am anyway. I feel that no matter how happy I am in the back of my mind my weight is always there. Laughing at me. Making me stand out in a crowd. Forcing me to be uncomfortable in my own skin.

I know I have control over this. I know I can make the change. I need a routine. A realistic and pretty easy to get into routine. I would appreciate input from others. As far as exercise and meals go I know a lot. I was actually in weight lifting in high school and that knowledge has stayed with me (I just don't utilize it like I should). As far as healthy foods and portions I'm also knowledgeable. I love to research and I have a pretty good idea as to what I should be doing.

I need to stay on task. I need to be held accountable. I would try to have my family and boyfriend do this...but they just love me so much they couldn't possibly deny me a delicious slice of pizza or tell me don't to drink that soda (can you feel the sarcasm burning through the screen?)

Any motivation is absolutely welcome! I'm currently 165lbs and looking to be around 130lbs. To me it seems like that day will never come. Honestly, I don't even care. If I could just be healthier and not be jiggly from head to toe I would be happy! More muscle, less fat. Please and Thank You!

Hi Melissa,

I am so glad you are here! Truly, it something like AA or OA for eaters. It might feel sad to say it like that, but our love of food and no exercise is what ails us. Admitting it IS the first step. Doing something about it and really working the steps to make a BIG change IS NOT easy! You are doing the right thing and it is my hope and prayer for you and myself, (and every one here) that this will be the final beginning on a journey that will last a LIFETIME. There will be ups and downs for sure, but this time will pass and next summer will be here again. Shorts and bathing suit time. Whether you are ready or not. This is your chance to be ready and shine.

Welcome to the site. It is only my second day using it, and I am with ya!

Bernie

Bernie thank you for the support! Shorts and bathing suit time is def. a motivation for me. I never wear shorts outside of the house and a bathing suit...well...I wear them but I never feel like I should. I'm hoping that in 2012 I will have a reason to strut proudly into the sea...not run as fast as I can so no one will see my body!!!

Congrats on day two! Nice to meet you and I look forward to working with you! Life changes here we come!