The **** your family says

My family used to tell me that those silos along the highways (the ones with salt and stuff for maintenance) were lunch pads/areas for spaceships.

Also, my sisters and I somehow misunderstood various things out parents said and jointly reached the same incorrect conclusions on a variety of things:

1. People's skin color was based on the milk they drank, we drink white milk so we were white, people who drank chocolate milk were 'chocolate'

2. Jelly shoes were for sluts.

And a random conclusion I reached all on my own from some random comment my mom made about boys peeing standing up; I thought if I peed standing up I'd become a boy. I was scared but always so tempted to try. It doesn't work. I tried, a few times, I'm still a girl.

my grandfather, that man had the gift of utter BS. He told my mom, when she was little, that if she kissed the tip of her own elbow, she would turn into a boy.

He told me that if you swallowed watermelon seeds, you would grow a watermelon in your stomach. as i got older this story got more and more involved, with vines tanging in intestines. i was always very careful to spit the seeds out.

also - this wasn't one of his stories, but so very HIM. he was a stickler for proper table manners. and if you put your elbow on the table, he would take his butter knife, by the blade, and swing it. the handle would hit your elbow. right on the funny bone. every time. and you never saw it coming. he was an etiquite NINJA.

Everytime we'd pass by the refineries, and the fire was going on the top, he'd say they were cooking beans. :huh: It SMELLED like they were so I believed him!!!

To this day when I pass by them I say they're cooking beans over there!

"You worry too much. Eat some bacon... What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon."







Both stolen from **** my Dad Says

you mean that ****ty show with William Shatner thats not on anymore? Yes I know it was more than this before it was a show.

My grandma used to tell me I would die of ricketts if I didn't eat my vegietables.

My family used to tell me that those silos along the highways (the ones with salt and stuff for maintenance) were lunch pads/areas for spaceships.

Also, my sisters and I somehow misunderstood various things out parents said and jointly reached the same incorrect conclusions on a variety of things:

1. People's skin color was based on the milk they drank, we drink white milk so we were white, people who drank chocolate milk were 'chocolate'

2. Jelly shoes were for sluts.

And a random conclusion I reached all on my own from some random comment my mom made about boys peeing standing up; I thought if I peed standing up I'd become a boy. I was scared but always so tempted to try. It doesn't work. I tried, a few times, I'm still a girl.

My mom used to force feed me milk so I would "get whiter".

When I was 4 my dad started telling me that if I was still outside after dark, that a crazy man in the woods would come out and chop off my big toe. I believed that until I was about 10 lol

I used to work at a daycare, and I was spraying some bleach water on the table, well a little girl got a little bit on her and started crying, she said her mommy told her if she gets bleach on her she would turn white ( she was the cutest little black girl). I felt so bad but I got a little giggle out of that lol

my grandad had all the best sayings. we called him 'bumpy', for many reasons, but it always seemed appropriate because he loved playing with words. if you were untidy or didnt have clean shoes he'd call you an "hobbidly-oi" (his word for tramp). also, he loved mixing words up so 'fish and chips' was 'chish and fips' and a 'double decker bus' was a 'bubble decker dus' and so many more. also, his favourite thing was to sound every letter in a word, so vegetable was a veg-ee-tab-ul and my brother was dan-ee-ul! they weren't funny stories, but he inspired an entire family to play with language. we sound like nutters, but we enjoy it

Adorable.

I used to have this addiction to salt so badly I would pour it in my hand and lick it up. My dad fixed the problem by telling me that if I licked it enough I would turn into a horse. I totally believed it!!

Nhay!!!

My Grandma always used to tell me to eat my crusts and I would wake up with curly hair, one time I woke up and my hair was curly but it never happened again and I was convinced that Grandma had magical bread at her house. When I was a bit older I found a photo of me asleep in Grandmas bed with curlers in my hair.

That was the only time they managed to trick me though. When my Mum was little she went fishing and reeled in her line with just the prawn on it still. They told her she caught the prawn and made a big fuss over it and she believed it for years.

My mom just informed me that if I continue with this vegetarian lifestyle my hair will fall out and I'll get wrinkles... I said I'll take my chances!

Oh and he also told me when I was little if I ate the skins of my potatoes I'd grow chest hair, YUCK!

Too funny! My dad told the me the EXACT same thing about potato skins... I still don't eat 'em.

My grandma always said if I eat peas I will get boobies, peas are still my fav veggie!

My grandpa use to say that if I didn't sit up straight my lungs would shrink

when my dad told me that santa wasn't "around anymore" he said he was shot down in the south because they wanted the deer meat, I cried so hard that day lol

my mom use to say that if I picked on my little brother who would grow to be bigger than me and would kick my *kitten* someday, she was right!

my sister said that if you jump up and down after sex you won't get pregnant, she also said if you stand on your head after sex you will (she was right) lol

My grandpa always used the expression, "I was running around like a fart in a windstorm" or "I was running around like a one armed paper hanger." I guess he was running around quite a bit :bigsmile: