people talking you out of dieting or acting funny about it
soccerella
Posts: 619 Member
I use the term diet, loosely as we all know its supposed to be a lifestyle change
Anyone have issues with friends/coworkers/strangers making remarks or giving you funny looks about changing your eating/drinking habits?
I'm a normal sized girl, some would even say thin, but i've gained quite a bit in the past few years and want to lose it, get healthier, and more toned. I've had the "you're already small, why are you dieting" comments alot and more frequently now its "are you pregnant" for changing up my usual food preferences and passing on a drink at happy hour. Its just annoying and i get tired of having to explain myself and feel that even when I do, people don't get it or don't believe me. I'm have a girls night out tonight and while I'll probably have a drink or two, i'm tempted to tell the waitress to just bring me soda water and lime so it looks like I'm drinking and I don't have to try to defend myself to people.
Its really not as bad as im making it sound, and its more the acquaintances than actual friends, but still annoying
Anyone have issues with friends/coworkers/strangers making remarks or giving you funny looks about changing your eating/drinking habits?
I'm a normal sized girl, some would even say thin, but i've gained quite a bit in the past few years and want to lose it, get healthier, and more toned. I've had the "you're already small, why are you dieting" comments alot and more frequently now its "are you pregnant" for changing up my usual food preferences and passing on a drink at happy hour. Its just annoying and i get tired of having to explain myself and feel that even when I do, people don't get it or don't believe me. I'm have a girls night out tonight and while I'll probably have a drink or two, i'm tempted to tell the waitress to just bring me soda water and lime so it looks like I'm drinking and I don't have to try to defend myself to people.
Its really not as bad as im making it sound, and its more the acquaintances than actual friends, but still annoying
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Replies
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I'm sorry people are being weird about it. Most people I know are working at losing weight, so I don't get it too much. I think some people just get defensive because they know they should be doing the same. Who knows?0
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I agree. It's almost hard to admit to people around you that you're watching what you eat or that you're on a diet. I think people might feel obligated sometimes to say "oh you don't need it" because maybe if they say "oh that's great" they'll feel like they're confirming that you're overweight? Just something I thought about right now. It's easier when it just doesn't come up though, that's for sure0
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i know the feeling...i think because most ppl dont really care if you lose weight and either
a. want to be nice and make you feel better
or
b. dont want you to become better
or...rarely...
c. they honestly do not think you need to lose
i think mfp is a great place though because you can make some amazing friends who will be supportive
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I'm having similar issues atm. I've gone from being obese to being a healthy weight within about 6-7 months. I've lost, on average, about 2.5 lbs a week which is just a little over the healthy average weight loss.
Because I'm now classed as a healthy weight, I'm getting interrogated so much more about my eating and weight habits as if it was OK for me to lose weight when they saw me as fat, but not afterwards.
Is it really such a bad thing to want to lose a little more weight and tone up? I may have a healthy BMI, but I'm right underneath being over-weight, I'd rather be much closer to healthy than not, but it seems that people really start to judge when you move that way.
Everybody seems to be so paranoid about everyone getting an eating disorder, it's just a little crazy!0 -
I get comments, but just have to let it roll off! I'm 5' tall, and not overweight, and there is a reason! I have to watch what I eat! I can't eat like my 5'8" or taller friends and stay at a healthy weight. So, unless it's something truly great and worth it, I politely decline candy and food (that is not part of meal) at work. People you're around all the time will get used to it and not be offended.0
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I told my roommate back in the day that I was looking to lose 40 lbs. She looked at me and was like oh is that healthy, are you sure, blah blah blah. In reality, she was just jealous that I was serious about making a change because she could have stood to lose some weight as well. Even today, we never talk at all, but she will sometimes message me about how I'm staying in shape0
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I had some one yesterday say "You don't need to lose weight" OK Granted I am tall but to be at my proper weight I need to lose 80-100 lbs.
The only thing I could do is stare at them with a blank look on my face.0 -
YES! I have your exact start weight. I am 5'8", so 152 pounds isn't even overweight. I couldn't tell ANYONE I was watching what I ate without people getting mad at me or freaking out etc. Now, I've been maintaining around 130-135 for the past 6 months, and those very same people will not stop complimenting me on how great I look, how i'm in such great shape, how my body composition has changed so much, how i'm a huge motivation to them, etc. It's kinda backwards. I say do what YOU want because chances are you have a good head on your shoulders, and YOU have known what you have wanted for awhile. People want to tell you that you can't do things because they are afraid to do those very things themself...
GO GET EM !
Here's a little before and after motivationn action !
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I totally get you with this. Happens all the time to me. And to be honest, it is kind of annoying, and getting offensive!! Who are you to tell me what I should or shouldn't be doing with my body?! I just want to scream, " Don't make me feel guilty for passing on the greasy cheeseburger!! You don't hear ME telling you how BAD it is for you, right?!" That wouldn't be productive, sadly. I guess when a person is trying to make themselves better, they also need to develop thick skin for those who are envious of our desires to become a better self. Last ditch effort: Punch them in the face!! LOL0
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That's actually really common. It's a shame, but many people feel like because you are making healthy decisions you are judging them for not doing the same. This is especially true because they already view you as thin.
People I know actually try to hide some of the unhealthy foods they are eating from me, and if they see me eating something unhealthy they act like it's the biggest shock in the world. I am not going to judge anyone. If they want my help to make healthy lifestyle changes I am more than willing to offer it, but I am never going to judge anyone for what they eat.
I have actually told people "I am just a normal person. I just like to eat healthy foods." lol
I have seen many people purposefully sabotage the diets of people around them. They do it by saying "I like you how are. You don't need to change." You should love people for the way they are, but if they WANT to make healthy changes you should support them not buy them donuts and ice cream. I was actually thinking about writing a blog on this topic yesterday because of how often I see it.0 -
YES! I have your exact start weight. I am 5'8", so 152 pounds isn't even overweight. I couldn't tell ANYONE I was watching what I ate without people getting mad at me or freaking out etc. Now, I've been maintaining around 130-135 for the past 6 months, and those very same people will not stop complimenting me on how great I look, how i'm in such great shape, how my body composition has changed so much, how i'm a huge motivation to them, etc. It's kinda backwards. I say do what YOU want because chances are you have a good head on your shoulders, and YOU have known what you have wanted for awhile. People want to tell you that you can't do things because they are afraid to do those very things themself...
GO GET EM !
Here's a little before and after motivationn action !
You look great!!! You already looked great in the before, but you look even healthier and happier in the second picture.
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I have had a few people saying I look too thin, or I am making myself ill. All other women who are about the size I was before I lost weight. Make of that what you will.0
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Yea its just crazy because I dont bring it up to someone else for eating a cheeseburger but when I pass on it for a salad instead it warrants comments? and then if I try to say why, it get the looks or the "you dont need to" I dont tell you what to eat, so why are you telling me 0
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YES! I have your exact start weight. I am 5'8", so 152 pounds isn't even overweight. I couldn't tell ANYONE I was watching what I ate without people getting mad at me or freaking out etc. Now, I've been maintaining around 130-135 for the past 6 months, and those very same people will not stop complimenting me on how great I look, how i'm in such great shape, how my body composition has changed so much, how i'm a huge motivation to them, etc. It's kinda backwards. I say do what YOU want because chances are you have a good head on your shoulders, and YOU have known what you have wanted for awhile. People want to tell you that you can't do things because they are afraid to do those very things themself...
GO GET EM !
Here's a little before and after motivationn action !
You look great!!! You already looked great in the before, but you look even healthier and happier in the second picture.
^agreed0 -
That's actually really common. It's a shame, but many people feel like because you are making healthy decisions you are judging them for not doing the same. This is especially true because they already view you as thin.
People I know actually try to hide some of the unhealthy foods they are eating from me, and if they see me eating something unhealthy they act like it's the biggest shock in the world. I am not going to judge anyone. If they want my help to make healthy lifestyle changes I am more than willing to offer it, but I am never going to judge anyone for what they eat.
I have actually told people "I am just a normal person. I just like to eat healthy foods." lol
I have seen many people purposefully sabotage the diets of people around them. They do it by saying "I like you how are. You don't need to change." You should love people for the way they are, but if they WANT to make healthy changes you should support them not buy them donuts and ice cream. I was actually thinking about writing a blog on this topic yesterday because of how often I see it.
yea you've pretty much got it...i dont know if its that people want me to fail, but more that like you said they cant understand it since they already think i'm at a fine weight, and maybe feel like if i'm doing something they should be too. I've just noticed it alot more and Im not looking forward to a couple events I have coming up because I know people will say something about it0 -
i say, i don't want to be 40 lbs over weight 15 years from now nor a heart attack when i'm 60
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I've had this happen too. I'm 5' 6.5" tall and weighed 160 lbs last year with a body fat % of just under 34%. I am now 145 lbs with a body fat % of under 20%! I feel great and I'm really happy with my body now! While I was losing, many people would make comments that I better not lose any more weight and I wasn't even close to being unhealthy.
I just find it interesting that people feel it's ok to comment when they think you are getting too thin but are not allowed to say anything to someone who is dangerously overweight or obese. Obviously if someone is looking dangerously thin or appears to have the signs of an eating disorder, loved ones should step in, but overall, I think people should mind their own bodies. If you can't say something nice, keep it to yourself!0 -
I am right there with y'all. I just need to lose 15-20 pounds and firm the jiggle up a bit and there are few that are supportive. In a meeting I passed on a cookie and said I was trying to watch what I eat and my co-worker kept pushing it my way. Its tough just because we aren't obese doesn't mean we don't deserve people respecting our diet well "lifestyle". What have you guys been doing to try and have people be a little more supportive?0
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Just tell them that if you eat fatty foods you have bouts of uncontrollable, explosive, diarrhea. That should shut them up.0
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It's all relative. For the most part, if you're not clearly overweight, you are going to get some funnly looks/comments if you say you're losing weight.
After I lost some weight, every month or so I would start getting "Are you STILL losing MORE weight!!??"0 -
I try to keep it to myself, as my family and most around me will give the disapproving look of "Why"?? If they offer something instead of telling them why, I just say.. "Not hungry, I had a big meal prior to getting here". I don't drink anymore, but back in the day, I would just tell people.. "Had too much to drink last night, so I'm taking it easy tonight" That would usually be the end of it. For me, the less deal I make of my changes, the lower number of comments I get back. I'm right at 5' feet tall and weigh around 125 lbs, so most take offense if I say I want to shape up. They assume I mean I want to look stick thin, not the case.. I want to get stronger and look more cut. I refuse to feel guilty for that.. but at the same time, it's not something I feel the need to discuss.0
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I recently got a comment along the lines of "you *need* a piece of cake" (said at a party). I've gotten the old "you don't need to lose any more weight"...and so on.
I don't sweat those kinds of comments at all - I'm doing what I'm doing for me...not to please the general populus.
The irony is that no one will hesitate to tell you you're too thin or you should stop or you should EAT...but no one tells a heavy person, "hey...you really SHOULD start exercising, dontcha think?" or "wouldn't you be better off passing on dessert?".
It's SKINNY DISCRIMINATION I tell ya!!! :laugh:0 -
I've gotten the "dirty looks" from people I haven't seen since before Is started this change which was back in March. They will look at me from head to toe and not say a thing which can sometimes be worse because it feels like they are sneering/belittling you with their ugly stares. This happened in particular with a cousin of mine that tried to get me to buy his diet pills so I could lose weight. I told him I didn't need that and that I'd do it the right way...he laughed at me. Fool!
I started off at 219 and I've been working my way down and I'm proud of what I've accomplished...I just wish people would be nice about it.
Maybe they are upset because they haven't managed to change for the better but we have no control over that...we can't force them to change.0 -
yes! I stopped drinking soda a little over 8 months ago and I always get this *big ol gasp* whaaat??? lol I also decresed my intake of fried foods like fries... so if we go to inn n out with some friends. I order the burger protein style without fries... I get the weirdest looks.... but I'm doing this for ME... I know great rewards follow my hard work... =D0
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It's all relative. For the most part, if you're not clearly overweight, you are going to get some funnly looks/comments if you say you're losing weight.
After I lost some weight, every month or so I would start getting "Are you STILL losing MORE weight!!??"
I get this all the time - I lost the majority of my excess weight back in Feb-June this year, but people still most days comment on how I am losing weight (er, no, I've been maintaining for nearly 4 months now), and asking if I am dieting intentionally. Firstly, no, I am not dieting, and secondly, how do you diet UNintentionally?0 -
I get the same from my family. My sister tells me if I get back down to 135 I'll look strange cause Ive always have been bigger than her. My favorite is from my brother just because I dont eat unless Im hungry and my portions are half what they used to be he always asks if I'm eating enough or if I ate anything for the day. Of course I eat. I eat more now than before.0
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Thank you so much for posting this. I needed to read this today!! People have been telling me for a while that I don't need to lose more weight and that if I do, I'll look sick, sag, etc. Today it was even openly discussed with me by my co-workers. It's started to make me self-conscience, and made me think that maybe I do need to stop where I'm at. But after reading this post, along wtih all of the comments from people that are getting the exact same thing, it's re-iterized for me that this is MY goal and that I'm not out of line; they are. Especially since I am still at the top of my healthy weight spectrum.
I think that people are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that a healthy weight looks anorexic and unnatural to them. Likewise, people are so addicted to the tastes of fat, sugar, and salt, that they think we're going overboard to eat healthily. It's all backwards. Our bodies deserve amazing, nutritious foods. We're not selling ourselves short by eating in a healthy way.0 -
I think people take things personally due to insecurity. Like, you trying to lose weight is somehow commentary on how they should be too. I think it strikes something in them where your efforts highlights their own lack of effort.
I think this because I used to feel it. I never made the comments that you are talking about, but when someone I knew was trying to lose weight that I didn't think needed it, I would feel bad that I wasn't making an effort.
And that's my little armchair psychology moment of the day.0 -
I think that people are so used to seeing overweight and obese people that a healthy weight looks anorexic and unnatural to them. Likewise, people are so addicted to the tastes of fat, sugar, and salt, that they think we're going overboard to eat healthily. It's all backwards. Our bodies deserve amazing, nutritious foods. We're not selling ourselves short by eating in a healthy way.
I completely agree!! I get snarky comments about trying to get in shape all the time, and what I've noticed is that the comments are usually from people who are overweight! If you want to make a change and be healthy FOR YOURSELF, you shouldn't let anyone bring you down! Go for it!0 -
My friends each time we go out and I try to eat something that is at least halfway decent calls me a girl. But then I can brag about how much women I see when I run races (5k,10k..etc) :laugh:0
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