For those of you who work in an office.. and hate pooping at

2

Replies

  • k2quiere
    k2quiere Posts: 4,151 Member
    I only poop when I'm near a scale and can get naked, so my weight is accurate.

    I have done a before/after. Poop doesn't weigh as much as you would think.

    Well, according to my body-fat-monitoring scale, I not only lose at least a pound, but I also lose 1% BF each time I poop.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I only poop when I'm near a scale and can get naked, so my weight is accurate.

    I have done a before/after. Poop doesn't weigh as much as you would think.

    Well, according to my body-fat-monitoring scale, I not only lose at least a pound, but I also lose 1% BF each time I poop.
    Pee is much heavier. I can drop as much as 2 1/2 pounds after emptying my bladder, but rarely more than one for a #2.

    *** On a side note, threads like this are a big reason I love MFP so much. My hubby has no sense of potty humor so I don't get to indulge my own very often. :tongue:
  • Rainbow_Brite86
    Rainbow_Brite86 Posts: 313
    it is!!! I needed the laugh!! Phew..djskfda;fasldf

    This thread is simply amazing. =)
  • Wuggums
    Wuggums Posts: 339 Member
    I always LOVED pooping at work. It's... it's getting PAID to POOP! Is there anything in the world more awesome?!

    (Yes. When the company loo has Charmin Ultra.)

    Please tell me I'm not the only one who has calculated exactly HOW MUCH I get paid to poop at work!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I've had 2# #2s. :laugh:
  • TCWE
    TCWE Posts: 51 Member
    My day can now officially be complete! This made my day:)
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I always LOVED pooping at work. It's... it's getting PAID to POOP! Is there anything in the world more awesome?!

    (Yes. When the company loo has Charmin Ultra.)

    Please tell me I'm not the only one who has calculated exactly HOW MUCH I get paid to poop at work!
    I did after reading that. I think I may go too quickly, because I only get paid like $1.46 to poo at work.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    I do courtesy flushes! Poop, another of my favorite topics. I actually bought "What's Your Poo Telling You" a few years ago!
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    I always LOVED pooping at work. It's... it's getting PAID to POOP! Is there anything in the world more awesome?!

    (Yes. When the company loo has Charmin Ultra.)

    Please tell me I'm not the only one who has calculated exactly HOW MUCH I get paid to poop at work!
    I did after reading that. I think I may go too quickly, because I only get paid like $1.46 to poo at work.
    That, or you need a raise!
  • hannahbellelechter
    hannahbellelechter Posts: 79
    I do courtesy flushes! Poop, another of my favorite topics. I actually bought "What's Your Poo Telling You" a few years ago!

    The courtesy flush is a must, if you don't want to get busted! :D
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I always LOVED pooping at work. It's... it's getting PAID to POOP! Is there anything in the world more awesome?!

    (Yes. When the company loo has Charmin Ultra.)

    Please tell me I'm not the only one who has calculated exactly HOW MUCH I get paid to poop at work!
    I did after reading that. I think I may go too quickly, because I only get paid like $1.46 to poo at work.
    That, or you need a raise!
    Boss: You wanted to speak with me?
    Me: Yes. I want to discuss the possibility of getting a raise.
    Boss: You aren't due for another review until May. What prompted this?
    Me: Well, I was sitting on the toilet and I realized that I really don't make enough $ while I am pooping and, since that is a natural bodily function that must happen, especially if you want me to be able to give my full attention to work, I really need to increase my per-poop income.

    Have I mentioned how much I love this thread?
  • hannahbellelechter
    hannahbellelechter Posts: 79
    I always LOVED pooping at work. It's... it's getting PAID to POOP! Is there anything in the world more awesome?!

    (Yes. When the company loo has Charmin Ultra.)

    Please tell me I'm not the only one who has calculated exactly HOW MUCH I get paid to poop at work!
    I did after reading that. I think I may go too quickly, because I only get paid like $1.46 to poo at work.
    That, or you need a raise!
    Boss: You wanted to speak with me?
    Me: Yes. I want to discuss the possibility of getting a raise.
    Boss: You aren't due for another review until May. What prompted this?
    Me: Well, I was sitting on the toilet and I realized that I really don't make enough $ while I am pooping and, since that is a natural bodily function that must happen, especially if you want me to be able to give my full attention to work, I really need to increase my per-poop income.

    Have I mentioned how much I love this thread?

    LOL!! That would go over well XD
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    My building was built in the 70's, the bathroom is all tile. Everything that happens in there echoooooo's.
    One guy let's a watermelon/havana omelette go daily.
  • DaniellePF
    DaniellePF Posts: 308 Member
    If I had a dollar for evry time the word "poop" appeared in this thread, I wouldn't need to work!
  • hannahbellelechter
    hannahbellelechter Posts: 79
    If I had a dollar for evry time the word "poop" appeared in this thread, I wouldn't need to work!

    LOL. If only, right?!
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
    I do courtesy flushes! Poop, another of my favorite topics. I actually bought "What's Your Poo Telling You" a few years ago!

    The courtesy flush is a must, if you don't want to get busted! :D
    We've got those fancy crappers that flush automatically. So, while you're in there if flushes like 15 times between getting the pants down, courtesy flush, and getting the pants on. Sometimes I wonder if people are drowning kittens.
  • staps065
    staps065 Posts: 837 Member
    Love it! Too funny!
  • Paco0919
    Paco0919 Posts: 10 Member
    Brilliant.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    I always LOVED pooping at work. It's... it's getting PAID to POOP! Is there anything in the world more awesome?!

    (Yes. When the company loo has Charmin Ultra.)

    Please tell me I'm not the only one who has calculated exactly HOW MUCH I get paid to poop at work!
    I did after reading that. I think I may go too quickly, because I only get paid like $1.46 to poo at work.
    That, or you need a raise!
    Boss: You wanted to speak with me?
    Me: Yes. I want to discuss the possibility of getting a raise.
    Boss: You aren't due for another review until May. What prompted this?
    Me: Well, I was sitting on the toilet and I realized that I really don't make enough $ while I am pooping and, since that is a natural bodily function that must happen, especially if you want me to be able to give my full attention to work, I really need to increase my per-poop income.

    Have I mentioned how much I love this thread?
    I think that's a per-poopita calculation.
  • InstantSunshine
    InstantSunshine Posts: 355 Member
    Turd Burglar means something very different over here - something that I suspect the MFPolice wouldn't like to hear me say, so I'll just say it's along the lines of Fudge Packer.
  • creasonr
    creasonr Posts: 20
    This is sooooo funny! LOL!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • hannahbellelechter
    hannahbellelechter Posts: 79
    Glad I could make y'all's day. :)
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I love this!!!!
  • hannahbellelechter
    hannahbellelechter Posts: 79
    Turd Burglar means something very different over here - something that I suspect the MFPolice wouldn't like to hear me say, so I'll just say it's along the lines of Fudge Packer.

    HA!!!
  • ummlovelovesyou
    ummlovelovesyou Posts: 1,024 Member
    I don't even work in an office, and this is hilarious.

    :laugh:
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    Turd Burglar means something very different over here - something that I suspect the MFPolice wouldn't like to hear me say, so I'll just say it's along the lines of Fudge Packer.
    No way! I only learned recently ,from a British co-worker, what "trump" means over there. :laugh:
  • tinamina78
    tinamina78 Posts: 241 Member
    I always LOVED pooping at work. It's... it's getting PAID to POOP! Is there anything in the world more awesome?!

    (Yes. When the company loo has Charmin Ultra.)

    :laugh: I literally just laughed till I cried when I read this...

    This thread is awesome!!

    I work in an extremely small office where there is only a one-stall bathroom for girls and same for the guys... I'm one of two girls who works there... The other girl does the walk of shame a LOT... quite awkward... :noway:
  • tinamina78
    tinamina78 Posts: 241 Member
    I always LOVED pooping at work. It's... it's getting PAID to POOP! Is there anything in the world more awesome?!

    (Yes. When the company loo has Charmin Ultra.)

    Please tell me I'm not the only one who has calculated exactly HOW MUCH I get paid to poop at work!
    I did after reading that. I think I may go too quickly, because I only get paid like $1.46 to poo at work.
    That, or you need a raise!
    Boss: You wanted to speak with me?
    Me: Yes. I want to discuss the possibility of getting a raise.
    Boss: You aren't due for another review until May. What prompted this?
    Me: Well, I was sitting on the toilet and I realized that I really don't make enough $ while I am pooping and, since that is a natural bodily function that must happen, especially if you want me to be able to give my full attention to work, I really need to increase my per-poop income.

    Have I mentioned how much I love this thread?

    ROTFLMAO!
  • billybed
    billybed Posts: 90 Member
    this was an awesome way to end a friday
  • Izable2011
    Izable2011 Posts: 755 Member
    I love talking about poop. :laugh:
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