Kids Say the Darndest Things
Replies
-
:laugh: :laugh: These are great!
When my daughter was about 4 she was playing a game and said "**** I died!" I told her she shouldn't say that word and she said "Why not Mommy? You do" Yeah I had no response for that...0 -
Kiddo: I'm so glad you lost weight, Mom.
Me: I am too
Kiddo: Now no one will EVER be able to tell me those "Your mama's so fat" jokes!
^^^Cracks me up!
After listening to a rave song that i love " Wow Rensie, that is a lot of music!" Sophie 4yrs old0 -
reminded me:I took my kids to the symphony for the first time back in October. As we were walking to our seats, we could hear the instruments warming up. My 12 year old daughter said, "Oh, so there are actual instruments here!" And she's my GIFTED child...
We took our kids out to a baseball game, and my youngest son was inspecting the scoreboard. He asked where the diamond-shaped icon was, (to show how many men are on base). My husband said.....Son? That's only for TV. You can just look down onto the field here.
LOL0 -
I had laryngitis yesterday and couldn't speak above a tiny whisper. Every time I tried to tell my three year old granddaughter to do something, she would walk up to me look into my face and whisper back, "Whaaaaat?" I would repeat myself. "Whaaaaat?" Whispering at the top of my voice. "Whaaaaaat?" She was just screwing with me. ALL DAY! Grampa had to come home to save her.0
-
I don't have kids but I love them and notice the things that they say to people around them. i was at the mall saturday and some kids were waiting to see Santa and were in the "SANTA LOCATOR" tunnel waiting for their turn. Now this is a computer that is suppose to track where Santa is..
I heard a little boy ask his mom where it said santa was and she said that the radar said that he was at the North Pole... Son looks confused and said"Uh Oh! I think this thing is broken because Santa is sitting over there!"0 -
Son: Where's that train going?
Me: I don't know
Son: Mom
Me: Yes Son
Son: WHERE'S that train going?
Me: I Don't know son
Son: MOM, Don't Lie to me!
Son is 3
DS is 4 and I still get this line of questioning. Although it's usually about what so-and-so's name is. If he didn't like the one I made up, I'm lying to him. If he liked the name then all is well.0 -
OMG Kids do say the dardest things! DS is 4 and he's been on a roll for about a year with some good ones...
Here are a couple from last spring (he was 3)
Me: "Drew, get his finger out of his nose"
DS: "I can't. A sharp snail crawled up there and I have to get it out."
---
DS: "Mommy you're not reading."
Me: "Yes I am, I'm just reading in my head. Like when you have thoughts on the inside."
DS: "I don't have any."
Me: "You don't have any thoughts?"
DS: "No, the batteries died."
---
This conversation was a few weeks ago on our way to church and we spotted a dead deer on the side of the road.
DS: (yelling) Shhhh turn down the radio Mommy.
Me: Why?
DS: Because it's too noisy and he's trying to sleep.
Me: Who?
DS: That deer over there (pointing to the side of the road at a dead deer)
Me: (holding back a chuckle) That's right honey he's just sleeping.
DS: Shhh we have to be quiet because he's really tired, we can't wake him up.0 -
On my first day of assisting with the primary school class I help with weekly, I had this conversation with two 6 year olds.
Child #1: Molly, do you have any brothers or sisters?
Me: No I don't, it's just me, my mum and my step dad. I'm an only child. What about you?
Child #2: Really? It's just you?
Me: It really is
Child #1: Did you have a sister but did she die?
Me: No no, it's just always been me.
At first, I was a bit like :noway:, did she really just ask that? It makes me laugh now, because that's such a strange question to ask, but still very confusing as to why she has asked that seeing as she didn't have a sister who died! I even checked with the teacher :laugh:0 -
:laugh: :laugh: These are great!
When my daughter was about 4 she was playing a game and said "**** I died!" I told her she shouldn't say that word and she said "Why not Mommy? You do" Yeah I had no response for that...
LOL my niece did that one day, she forgot something at my moms and we were on our way home
me: "hey do you have giraffy??" (her favorite stuffed animal)
my nice: *kitten* I forgot him!
Me: giggling to myself.
My niece: oops I am not supposed to say that!0 -
Haha. These are great. One of my favorites was a conversation with my son when he was 2, just about 3:
Me: Oh, Connor. Did you fart?
Connor: No! My butt burped.
And another this past July when he was 4. We were making funny faces back and forth. I made a particularly ugly one, he stops dead in his tracks, and very seriously tells me, "That'll be a good one for Halloween!" Hahaha.0 -
My 5yo: "Daddy, you mustache came back!"
Me (who just shaved an hour before, smiling): "What do you mean?"
My 5yo: "Right there...in your nose."
Time to get the nose-hair trimmer out... :laugh:0 -
My 3 yo daughter: "Mommy, you don't feel so good?"
Me: "No baby girl, Mommy doesn't feel well."
My 3 yo daughter: "That makes my heart sad. You're gonna go to the doctor, get yummy medicine, & feel all better."0 -
I was driving with my son the other day when another driver abruptly changed lanes into the one we were driving in, causing me to hit the brakes to avoid a collision. My son yelled out, "Where did you get your license *kitten*, The State of Intoxication?!"0
-
My son is 250
-
My son is 25
HAHAHA, I still LOL'd. That's a great line.0 -
my 3 year old nephew has aspergers and loves to sing to his nene (me) every day at least 5 times a day. he only knows the words to twinkle twinkle little star
so when he sings the part "up above the world so high" he says "hubba hubba world so high"
it makes my day when he sings to me, no matter what mood i am in it always gets me laughing and brightens my day!0 -
Ha ha these are great! I'm a teacher and I've heard a lot of good ones. My favorite was this:
Student: Ms. R, How old are you?
Me: I'm 30
Student: OH MY GOD, you are really old! Shouldn't you be married? I think you need to go on Match.com0 -
My son is 25
:laugh:0 -
my son who is 2 has a love hate relationship with another little boy at his day care and my hubby and I were talking to him about his day:
Us: how was your day Caden?
Caden: goood
Us did you play with your friends?
Caden; up ( yep with a big smily on his face)
Us: who did you play with?
Caden: ummmm, dendall (kendal) and racie (gracie)
Us: what about brayden? didn't you play with him?
Caden: umm no, he bite, he not nice boy to dendall
Us: ummmmm Caden didn't you bite Brayden before?
Caden: (hands waving in the air) oh no mamma that was asident (accident) i a good boy!!
gotta love em!!!!0 -
Yesterday my mom was talking to my stepson and goes
"Blake, you know Santa is coming soon, right?"
Blake says "yeah!"
My mom says back, "Have you been a good boy"
Blake hesitated and said, " Yeah i've been good, I just don't listen."
Needless to say we both just started laughing. It was cute, he's 4.0 -
A few years ago I was at the park with my daughter. I was pushing her on a swing and there was a boy, about 5 or 6 years old, on the swing next to her. His family was off to the side enjoying a picnic. The boy was struggling to get going on the swing. I started to push him. At one point he turned to me and said "Lady, I'm going to buy you a cake!"
0 -
Ha ha these are great! I'm a teacher and I've heard a lot of good ones. My favorite was this:
Student: Ms. R, How old are you?
Me: I'm 30
Student: OH MY GOD, you are really old! Shouldn't you be married? I think you need to go on Match.com
this! 0 -
A few years ago I was at the park with my daughter. I was pushing her on a swing and there was a boy, about 5 or 6 years old, on the swing next to her. His family was off to the side enjoying a picnic. The boy was struggling to get going on the swing. I started to push him. At one point he turned to me and said "Lady, I'm going to buy you a cake!"
Well, the man sure knows how to show a woman gratitude already, huh? XD0 -
Playing pretend with the kid i was babysitting:
Gracie: Bwweeee, iz pwincess wite? (Bri, im a princess, right?)
Me: Why yes you are, princess gracie!
Gracie: Then I no have nap! CANDY! PWINCESSES GET CANDY!!!!
(proceeds to make babysitting complete hell...)
methinks mi'lady took it a little to seriously...0 -
one day i decided to wear leggings and a sweater dress to work and this is the conversation between my 5 year old son and I
Son: Mommy you are so skinny
Me: Aww thank you baby
Son: well your legs are skinny not the rest
I died laughing.0 -
one day i decided to wear leggings and a sweater dress to work and this is the conversation between my 5 year old son and I
Son: Mommy you are so skinny
Me: Aww thank you baby
Son: well your legs are skinny not the rest
I died laughing.
This is hilarious! Gotta love Poppie!0 -
one day i decided to wear leggings and a sweater dress to work and this is the conversation between my 5 year old son and I
Son: Mommy you are so skinny
Me: Aww thank you baby
Son: well your legs are skinny not the rest
I died laughing.
This is hilarious! Gotta love Poppie!
He's the best!
He also told me last night that i dont have to give him a "baf" on school nights. He would do it. But on the weekends I need to do it cause he wants to "be with me".0 -
When my son was about 6 years old....he said to me "mommy how come God gave you such little feed and such a big body"
i said..."son, mommy did not always have a big body" then he said..."well,why did your feed not grow with your body?" lol....yes back then it was funny now i could cry!
0 -
He also told me last night that i dont have to give him a "baf" on school nights. He would do it. But on the weekends I need to do it cause he wants to "be with me".
Awwww, that's so cute. I told David if he didn't do a better job bathing himself, I'd have to start doing it again (he's 11). Ha! He smells soooo much better after each bath now.0 -
one day i decided to wear leggings and a sweater dress to work and this is the conversation between my 5 year old son and I
Son: Mommy you are so skinny
Me: Aww thank you baby
Son: well your legs are skinny not the rest
I died laughing.
This is hilarious! Gotta love Poppie!
He's the best!
He also told me last night that i dont have to give him a "baf" on school nights. He would do it. But on the weekends I need to do it cause he wants to "be with me".
hahaha too funny!!!0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.4K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions