i'm just curious

whitehandlady
whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
how many people look at themselves most days and can't see anything physically good about themselves?

i know this is negative and don't get me wrong i don't hate myself....

i like me on every other level

and some days are worse than others.....and no matter who says what.....i have always believed i am ugly


i really don't know where the belief came from or why it is so pervasive

it pisses me off....but there it is....

does anyone else feel this way?
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Replies

  • mwright24skinny
    mwright24skinny Posts: 122 Member
    U have beautiful blue eyes!
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
    U have beautiful blue eyes!

    thank you....but just to be clear....i wasn't posting for compliments.....i just sincerely want to know if anyone else has the same problem with their image
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    Well I use to not like AT ALL what I use to look like... I didn't think I was pretty at all but it gets better... Everyone's confidence levels are different. I still have to remind myself to see myself as beautiful no matter what I see in the mirror because deep down inside I still feel like the girl who was never pretty, no one never saw me that way some years back.. But it gets better overtime at least that's what I keep telling myself.
  • skinnytwin7
    skinnytwin7 Posts: 7 Member
    absolutely. I used to love the way I look and now i avoid reflections and mirrors at all costs because I truly despise the way I look right now. But hopefully all this hardwork will pay off and when everything is said and done, hopefully I can get back to lovinf how I look again.
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
    funny thing....it's not weight related....i thought i was ugly before i got fat......seriously....it may be the culprit....hell when i was gaining weight and my mind would say....oh **** tyracy you're gonna get fat.....i would say does it friggin matter......you'd be ugly no matter what......it just bugs me bc i don't know where it came from.....
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
    take pixs often and compare! so sad to see someone so lovely be so hard on themselves. you cant lose as fast as you gain! lol be happy for every positive choice you make!! stick with it and you will see results, i promise :) add me for support and chatting :)
  • jojoof4
    jojoof4 Posts: 120
    Unfortunately, yes, to an extent. All I can see is what needs to be changed. I am disgusted by my appearance and try to avoid the mirrors when at all possible. I truly believe that you need to be okay with yourself before you listen to anyone else's opinions. Doesn't matter how many people compliment you; seems irrelevant until you believe it yourself. Good luck on your journey!
  • jojoof4
    jojoof4 Posts: 120
    double post
  • Kohadre
    Kohadre Posts: 316
    how many people look at themselves most days and can't see anything physically good about themselves?

    i know this is negative and don't get me wrong i don't hate myself....

    i like me on every other level

    and some days are worse than others.....and no matter who says what.....i have always believed i am ugly


    i really don't know where the belief came from or why it is so pervasive

    it pisses me off....but there it is....

    does anyone else feel this way?

    Ive been this way for years, up until today that is.

    I finally got so frustrated with all of the physical pain and torment I was putting my body through. All of it just to aquire a physique I only went after because it was the "Ideal image" society created. And even more, I didn't even really want it to begin with.

    So to the original post, yes I did feel that way, but now I don't :)
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Been thinking of this a lot lately.

    My mom always TOLD me she was ugly. That is the word she used. I believed her as I believed everything she said.

    So of course I looked in the mirror and say ugly too!

    I am now 50, going through a horrible divorce after 27 years.

    I was looking at pictures of my mom, she was NOT ugly. She was an attractive woman with beautiful eyes, plump lips, slim body and a lovely smile when she would do it. I cried that she lived her entire 54 years believing in her soul she was ugly.

    Cut to me. I am vulnerable right now, but never felt pretty. I looked at the pictures of me up until a few years ago and saw/see a beautiful woman. I looked at myself as if I was looking at a friend...........and thought are you NUTS? You are attractive.

    I REFUSE to die believing I am ugly. Life is too short and it is a lie. I am writing that on my mirror "You are NOT ugly, that is a LIE!!"

    I will not comment on your looks, but who is that handsome young man in the picture with you?:heart:
  • mznisaelaine
    mznisaelaine Posts: 2,262 Member
    funny thing....it's not weight related....i thought i was ugly before i got fat......seriously....it may be the culprit....hell when i was gaining weight and my mind would say....oh **** tyracy you're gonna get fat.....i would say does it friggin matter......you'd be ugly no matter what......it just bugs me bc i don't know where it came from.....

    I know what you mean. I was a skinny and 130 pounds but felt so ugly... I had very low self-esteem. As of now... I think I'm ok.. But it's not as bad as it use to be.. I'm still building my confidence :(
  • skierxjes
    skierxjes Posts: 926 Member
    I feel the same way.. When someone tells me I'm cute/pretty/beautiful/whatever I aruge with them because I simply do not see it or see how they could think that. I've been told all my life how fat, stupid and ugly I am. It's hard to get the negatives out and fill with positives
  • zoe4friends
    zoe4friends Posts: 727 Member
    I never though of myself as pretty, but never thought of myself as ugly either. But with this weight loss journey I am loving myself more and more. But of course there are some days, very rarely, when I feel discouraged and feel a little ugly.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    What is that song "make me feel so unpretty"?

    Makes me cry:cry:
  • EricNCSU
    EricNCSU Posts: 699 Member
    I don't really think of myself as attractive. I guess because I'm just "me"... I also have trouble believing people when they tell me I am attractive or handsome or whatever. I don't think I'm ugly, I just think I'm... I dont know... blah.. or plain.
  • Tennessee2019
    Tennessee2019 Posts: 676 Member
    absolutely. I used to love the way I look and now i avoid reflections and mirrors at all costs because I truly despise the way I look right now. But hopefully all this hardwork will pay off and when everything is said and done, hopefully I can get back to lovinf how I look again.

    My thoughts exactly.
  • catwrangler
    catwrangler Posts: 918 Member
    how many people look at themselves most days and can't see anything physically good about themselves?

    i know this is negative and don't get me wrong i don't hate myself....

    i like me on every other level

    and some days are worse than others.....and no matter who says what.....i have always believed i am ugly


    i really don't know where the belief came from or why it is so pervasive

    it pisses me off....but there it is....

    does anyone else feel this way?
    That's too bad because I think you are a classic beauty. You care about your looks and it shows in how well you care for yourself and how well you are put together in your photos. Someone else planted the ugly seed in you, a relative perhaps? Father or Mother?

    I will NEVER post a photo of my face online, I am truly homely. I have scared children!
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
    Been thinking of this a lot lately.

    My mom always TOLD me she was ugly. That is the word she used. I believed her as I believed everything she said.

    So of course I looked in the mirror and say ugly too!

    I am now 50, going through a horrible divorce after 27 years.

    I was looking at pictures of my mom, she was NOT ugly. She was an attractive woman with beautiful eyes, plump lips, slim body and a lovely smile when she would do it. I cried that she lived her entire 54 years believing in her soul she was ugly.

    Cut to me. I am vulnerable right now, but never felt pretty. I looked at the pictures of me up until a few years ago and saw/see a beautiful woman. I looked at myself as if I was looking at a friend...........and thought are you NUTS? You are attractive.

    I REFUSE to die believing I am ugly. Life is too short and it is a lie. I am writing that on my mirror "You are NOT ugly, that is a LIE!!"

    I will not comment on your looks, but who is that handsome young man in the picture with you?:heart:


    you maty have just answered the question i've been tormented with....the where did it come from.....my mom was the same way.....exactly

    the young man is my son
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
    I have days where I think I am ugly, days were I think I am pretty, days were I think I am decent.
    I can sometimes see my image change before me in the mirror.
    I use to hate absolutely every part of me though.
    The older I get the more I learn to accept me...and slowly come to love things about myself.
    Now most days I like most of me. It's a work in progress though.
  • geckofli
    geckofli Posts: 155 Member
    i swing between liking what i look like and not, somedays i want to get dressed up and party otherdays i leave the mail in the letter box because i dont want to be seen
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
    i find it interesting that men have responded as well.....this may seem ignorant....but i have always thought of this as a female issue
  • DakotaKeogh
    DakotaKeogh Posts: 693 Member
    Well, I can say I understand a lot of this. But I can also say, you're a beautiful woman. So, stop lying to yourself. You're beautiful. Any guy - certainly me - would be proud to walk with you.
  • DakotaKeogh
    DakotaKeogh Posts: 693 Member
    i find it interesting that men have responded as well.....this may seem ignorant....but i have always thought of this as a female issue

    Sorry
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
    i find it interesting that men have responded as well.....this may seem ignorant....but i have always thought of this as a female issue

    Sorry

    as beth would say....my ignorance is showing
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
    Well, I can say I understand a lot of this. But I can also say, you're a beautiful woman. So, stop lying to yourself. You're beautiful. Any guy - certainly me - would be proud to walk with you.

    you're sweet brett (((hugs)))
  • I've never thought I was pretty in any way. I have always believed that I was fat, ugly, and stupid...
  • I know that feeling, and I also have wondered where that came from. Ever read The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz? Check it out, it might help you with that!
  • brookepenni
    brookepenni Posts: 787 Member
    parents have a lot to answer for really. I have the opposite problem - too much confidence, but in all honesty - I think this is my mothers fault too.

    I dont think there are any ugly people out there. A smile and kind eyes are all you need to shine. That line 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' should only apply to clothing and shoes because I think it gives people an excuse to think they're not beautiful.

    Just be kind to yourself. You are who you are. Smile and show the world you like being you. :flowerforyou:
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
    thanks for the replys everyone....i hate to know anyone shares in this pain....but at the same time.....now i do not feel so alone.....
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
    I know that feeling, and I also have wondered where that came from. Ever read The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz? Check it out, it might help you with that!


    i have not read it but i will....thanks :)
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