Does what your SO think affect your goal?

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  • traci0620
    traci0620 Posts: 46 Member
    My husband continuously tells me he loves me exactly as I am. He has never been negative about me wanting to lose weight especially since I am really not doing it solely to look better. My primary goal is feeling better. He always tells me that I am beautiful now and he doesn't want me to feel like I am not.
  • BRISAjustAltered
    BRISAjustAltered Posts: 260 Member
    My fiancé is happy that I'm getting healthier, but he wants nothing to with it. He has told me a million times that he loves me just the way I am and look. He supports my weight loss because I have a history of heart problems, and there is diabetics all over my family. He wants me to be healthy, not skinny. But he wants me to do it for Me, not Him. All the hard work is so that I feel good about myself, he thinks that if I'm happy with myself then it's easier for him and me to be happy together. He believes that to love others you have to love yourself first, and that goes for me too. He has pleaded with me to raise my goal weight though. I would like to be in the 120's one day, he says that's way too small and that he does not want to sleep next to bones. And if I ever get down in the 120's he will be force feeding me. He's just joking of course, but he has said it multiple times, as long as my butt stays, he doesn't care how much I weigh.
  • sister_bear
    sister_bear Posts: 529 Member
    My husband loves and supports me no matter what. If I wanted to be a body builder, he would be behind me 100%. If I decided I wanted to gain all the weight back, he would probably be a little disappointed, but he would still support me in my decision.
  • bbygrl5
    bbygrl5 Posts: 964 Member
    As much as I try to say it doesn't, it does, but in a positive way. I would NEVER lose weight/get fit/change appearance for him and he would never ask me to.

    However, it's motivating and thrilling to see him get jealous and possessive over me as I've drawn more attention, even if it's shallow, I can't help it, it's an empowering feeling.
  • Clarecbear82
    Clarecbear82 Posts: 369 Member
    I was talking to my fiance today about me doing the 30ds and he said "I hope your not aiming for a body like that woman on the box as muscles look gross on a woman" I am doing the 30ds to get healthier and never really gave a thought to what she looked like. then I was reading the post about 6packs on women and someone said that their husband didn't like six packs so she won't be getting one.

    So I was wondering does what your SO think affect what your aiming for?

    I'm personally just trying to look better than I do now and I know I will never be that muscley as I don't have the drive and dedication/time to have a 6pack but if I wanted one I would do it for me and no one else.


    It's most likely your fiance's ignorance showing to women and lifting weights. A heavy weight lifting program is not going to make you look overly muscular, and certainly not the 30DS. You should read this article, and show it to him: http://www.crossfitsouthbay.com/2011/05/skinny-fat/. Would he rather have you look like the runway model, or the CrossFit model? If it's the runway model, something is seriously wrong with him.
    He wouldn't like either he likes me chunky but I've known him for 10yrs and I was obese for all that time so probably why. Even celebs he likes more the Kate winslet in titanic look to the skinnier actresses
  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
    Curtis has been my absolute strongest support in all this - he loved me at my heaviest, and has made sure to remind me that he will love me at my goal shape too, no matter which one I choose. He says that "as long as it's part of you, I'm going to like it."

    I'm aiming for a very cut, muscular shape, and he is absolutely supportive - I think he's just glad to see me feeling happy and confident. I am a lucky, lucky gal :)
  • directorj
    directorj Posts: 537 Member
    I told my g/f I wanted a nice buff body. She said "I don't want you to be like Ronnie" (jersey shore) LOL. She said she likes my fat
  • Nikki582
    Nikki582 Posts: 561 Member
    My hubby knows I'm doing weights at the gym and makes little jokes about me being "SO BIG AND MUSCLY" but knows that I'm not going to end up like Arnie. :p

    He doesn't mind it though.

    One thing I have noticed is that he's started commenting on other girls' weight out loud like.. "Oh gosh she's so skinny, I hate that, ergh, no meat on the bones" and stuff like that - I think subliminally (or maybe completely consciously) he's trying to make sure I don't go stick-thin.. or maybe it's to show he loves me no matter the large size? I dunno. :)
  • fae713
    fae713 Posts: 30 Member
    My fiance is supportive in his own way, primarily in a not quite obvious way. He doesn't push me to go against my diet, always making sure that he asks how many calories I have left for dinner and will help me figure out something reasonable. He teases me about logging my calories and everything, but doesn't take offense and will help me to figure out what to call something. The extra time at the gym is tolerated because he is usually at work until 630 or 7 or so. He says that he really doesn't care one way or the other what weight I'm at as he thinks I looked gorgeous when he first met me and will still think I look gorgeous later when I'm down to a healthier weight.

    I think my biggest problem is that despite me noticing a change in my body and how I'm feeling, he hasn't noticed a change in how I look or when hugging or snuggling. Others have been noticing and my clothes are actually fitting now, so I know that there have been changes, but he just shrugs and says "I don't know... I see you too much to be able to notice." *shakes head* silly man. :-p

    As for him joining me, he says "I suck at that. I guess I could drink less soda." It would be good for him to join me in establishing a healthier lifestyle, but I won't push him. At least not quite yet - soon enough the nurse side of me may have to lecture, but that won't be for a while yet. I hope.
  • Elf_Princess1210
    Elf_Princess1210 Posts: 895 Member
    My husband is supportive of me getting healthier, but he doesn't want me to get really skinny. I have food issues, body image issues, and diet obsession that makes him worry I'll get Anorexia. I admit I do have the tendencies, so when he tells me he's worried and doesn't want me to obsess too much I listen. He always tells me he will love me no matter what weight I am, always tells me I'm beautiful and gives me the much needed encouragement that I so desperately need from him.

    I'm doing this for me and my health. My husband just happens to be very loving and supportive; but also worries about my health and well being. I'm a lucky woman :)
  • LolaGotThin
    LolaGotThin Posts: 111 Member
    My husband is VERY supportive! I even got a sweet text from him today (he's on the road a lot for work) telling me he's proud of me and how well I'm doing. I told him I was excited because I feel like I LOOK like I'm starting to lose weight. He said, "You've been looking like it baby!"
    :)
  • EmmaR31
    EmmaR31 Posts: 184
    My hubby doesn't comment on my goals but is very supportive and shows it by his actions such as buying me a HRM or ipod for gym out of the blue. Having him be proud of me is a very big thing for me and he loves how I feel sexier and more confident.

    At the end of the day I am doing this for me, but I also want to be attractive to him and I know what he likes so will be a bonus for both of us to get there, curvy but toned.

    He has lost a huge amount of weight and even though I always think he is sexy, he is now even more so. I don't like too much muscles on men but everyone has their preference. It's also what you focus on, a certain type of look or just being the healthiest you can be which is what I'm trying to do.
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