Divorced before 30

Yes I'm now 28 and have been divorced (well actually just separated coz neither of us have bothered doing the formal divorcing yet) for nearly 2 years. So I was 26. We had been together for 8 years and I was 6mths pregnant with our second child when he decided he couldn't stay in the relationship, I was willing to work on it.
It has been quite hard, and especially being pregnant and now having young kids and still being young, people just assume you are still with the father and I feel like an idiot saying we are separated.
I went to my high school reunion recently and it was kinda hard then as most of them have either just recently got married or are getting married, I was the only one divorced. An old school friend even asked if my kids had the same father!!!

I hope your doing ok, it is a very hard thing to go through a divorce, even if it's a mutual decision.
You can add me as a friend and message me if you want

My husband and I have been talking about divorce alot. I'm not really sure how i feel about it, but I know there are some social stigmas that come along with it. Anyone else gotten divorced before 30yrs old, and faced certain sterotypes?

By divorcing you join the majority. Worry NOT!

I am totally against it unless there is cheating or abuse, but you folks must decide.
Any kids? If so, that's a game changer.
If not, go for it, get fit and watch the guys flock.

I just turned 29 and I am divorced. It has been14 months of complete hell, the hardest thing in the world I've ever had to do. Hurt my children more than I could have ever imagined. Yet, despite all of that I have yet to miss her or the life I was living. It was literally killing me.

If there are kids involved just make sure there is no love left, and that it is an absolute last resort. I am not for divorce, but I am not an advocate of staying for the kids. My parents did that and I wished as a child they would divorce because I knew they were unhappy and whether they realized it or not they took it out on me and now they regret it.

26 after 5.5 years! But small minded gossips don't just talk about divorce - it will be short lived and you'll cope! It isn't easy to end any relationship good or bad but in most cases the important thing is you are doing the right thing for you in the medium to long term, you learn from your mistakes and move onl!

I think the best thing to do is counseling and do everything you can to save the marriage. But if nothing works, then you both deserve happiness and it's OK to end things.

I do think a lot of people give up way too easily. It's quite normal to fall in and out of love with each other over a long period of time, but honoring a committment is important, too. There are a lot of things to think about and the WHY is most important.

My best friend was married at 18 and divorced by 21. She hasn't seemed to have had any issues because of it. I don't know what country you're in, and if you're in the US, which area, but generally, most people don't blink when they find out someone's divorced these days -- at least in the US.

I was married at 23 then divorced by 26 after being separated for a year. He was a complete *kitten* who cheated on me and left me with a boat load of debt and was stressing me out making my life hell, so to me the 'stigma' of being the first in my family to get divorced was well worth the freedom of being rid of him. Married hubby no2 at 28 and we just renewed our vows this June for our 10th anniversary, so there was a happy ending eventually!!

I was divorced at 27 from a 6 year marriage due to mental and physical abuse. I met my now husband in '08 and we have been happily together (3 years) /married (2 years) and 2 beautiful babies!!!

I was divorced at 27 after ten years of a non loving marriage, and my now husband was divorced at 22, I think, anyway both before we were 30.

I had kids involved, he didn't. My children love my husband now, though and he playes a very important role in their lives. He is a very involved stepfather and loves them very much.

As far as sterotypes go, we really haven't had to deal with that much outside of the church. My hubby is a preacher, and sometimes he can't preach in certain churches that are totally against divorce. I wish that was different because I can tell it hurts him.

I was married at 23 then divorced by 26 after being separated for a year. He was a complete *kitten* who cheated on me and left me with a boat load of debt and was stressing me out making my life hell, so to me the 'stigma' of being the first in my family to get divorced was well worth the freedom of being rid of him. Married hubby no2 at 28 and we just renewed our vows this June for our 10th anniversary, so there was a happy ending eventually!!

I'm still dealing with some of the financial stuff from my first marriage. It sucks because my credit has suffered for it and there is nothing I can do.

I feel you on this, financially I am not even holding my head up, but I just keep trying to get caught up. Everytime I get a notice saying my credit score has moved a notch, I feel like having a party :P

Well I am not divorced myself nor have I ever been (37 years together), however our daughter is going through this very thing. She has known the man since high school they seperated since then and many years later pick back up again. Married 3 years ago they have no children together ( she does have a daughter from someone else ) and he never did a thing for my daughter or grand daughter. Half the time he would call out of work, she is working two jobs and he would just stay home. Not evev clean or cook.....he never came picked up our grand daughter after school to take her home or to the activities she had to do either my husband or I would take her. Our daughter would pick her up after she finished work at 8 p.m. She told him to leave months ago and filed the paper work and luckily he sighned them with no problem.

She is lot more happier, her daughter is happy....the stress is gone and I can see a difference in her attitude which is great.

If there is any chance that both of you can work things out then please do, if not any fun going through a divorce you will have to make up your own mind and really sit down and talk things out....wishing you luck

I was older than you when I got divorced. My X husband became a complete alcoholic, and was not initially when we were married, unless he hid it well. I had told him repeatedly from day 1- I have 0 tolerance for any type of addiction like alcoholism, drugs, or gambling. Went through that before him with an ex-boyfriend... never again. There was no saving it for me. We had no children so there was only us to consider. Divorcing him was one of the best things I ever did for myself.

I never look at divorced people differently. If you are staying around strictly because of the "stigma" you may have after - that's not a good reason. I quickly checked your profile and you have under motivation:

"I want my husband to fall in love with me all over again everyday"

If that still holds true I would try to fix it if possible instead of worrying about what other people think....

this is true.....you don't worry about what others think.....it is YOU who has to be happy, hopefully you are getting healthy for yourself not just for your husband??? You will make the right decision as I told my daughter follow your heart and weigh your odds.....

i was married at 23, had a child at 25 and was separated at 26, divorced at 28. It was tough and my son didn't find it particularly hard at the time as he was 20months but is finding it tough as he's older and his dad got remarried this year. It can be tough to adjust to and move on, but if the relationship is really bad then you end up in a situation that its the only option!

Separated from 10 year relationship at 29, divorce wasn't final for a year. However, the stigma of being divorced is nothing like it was in the 40s, 50s and early 60s. It was a trauma that I got through and came out the other side stronger and happier! It was worth the pain.

My fiance is 28...We've been together for 4 years, and he's divorced. He got a divorce at 23, married at 19. He'll tell you that it was the hardest situation he was ever in, but he wouldn't change it for the world, because in his marriage he got his little girl, and after his marriage he got me. I wouldn't have changed it either, because his ex wife gave me the two greatest gifts of my life, my fiance and my step daughter. Divorce is an awful thing to have to go through, but there is life and hope and happiness on the other side! And screw anyone who wants to judge!!!!

36 now, but I was separated by 29. 10 years together. It was as amiable as anyone could want since we didn't have kids or a home at that point -- we'd sold it to move the year before. We didn't do the legal work and actual divorce until last year or the year before, I think. I couldn't tell you why. He avoided it. I couldn't afford submitting the paperwork. I simply went on with my life. A year later, I started another relationship and am currently living with someone who is far more emotionally available and less neglectful.

The grief I got most was from my parents. My mother told me I'd regret the decision all my life and didn't call me for 6 months. I was also hard on myself for being a "failure." There are days I do regret it and days I don't. I have days I miss him and days I don't even think about him. Relationships are difficult. No one really understands the dynamics of anyone else's marriage, so it's very narrow-minded to judge. But I'd have to say that the majority of people I meet are surprised when they hear I've already been married and divorced. I'm not sure what's going on in their head when they hear that, they've always been too tactful to say anything. But... -shrug-

Here's the thing, though. Someone else in this thread pointed out your motivation. I totally get that. I wanted my husband to be in love with me, to show me he loved me. (Because he'd been more attentive and affectionate before we married.) Instead, I felt neglected and unseen. He was emotionally unavailable and unaffectionate. I tried so many different ways to make myself more appealing to my husband, thinking it was my fault he didn't love me more. It doesn't work like that, unfortunately. People are who they are, and sometimes, you simply can't change that. If it makes you unhappy, then you have to make the choice. And that's immensely hard. It was one of the hardest choices I ever made -- because I did like him as a person, I even loved him, but we felt like roommates, not husband and wife.

I'll tell you that one of the things I hate the most about being divorced is filling out documents. Are you single, married, divorced, separated? Um, I'm not divorced -- like that's some sign they hang around your neck -- I'm single. I mean, wtf? Our very society seems to stigmatize it if you ask me.