Divorced before 30
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I'll tell you that one of the things I hate the most about being divorced is filling out documents. Are you single, married, divorced, separated? Um, I'm not divorced -- like that's some sign they hang around your neck -- I'm single. I mean, wtf? Our very society seems to stigmatize it if you ask me.
I completely agree, I hate that too. Cant it just be married or single. Do I have to have this "separation/divorve" thing hanging over me my whole life until I meet someone else.0 -
I married at 22 divorced at 23. I was ashamed and made to feel ashamed by loved ones until I finally blew my lid and told them the truth about my ex husband.......then they quit talking.
Truth is, so many get divorced any more. It is like people just give up instead of work through stuff. But it is something that should just be between you and your husband, no one else. If you have kids it does hurt and can make things worse but again, your family, you should do what you think is best. But really talk and think on it. Unless there is abuse or cheating try and work through it. It is not always easy.Divorced before 30 here, didn't like it. I would recommend fireproof / the love dare if you feel there is a chance to save your marriage.
My husband and I are doing the year long devotions of The Love Dare Just started last week! Great book!!0 -
Married at 19, divorced at 20, remarried at 23 and have been married to the same person since. And I'm, um, 18 years older now. I kind of feel stupid about my first marriage, but it doesn't bother me much. I just consider my current husband my first one. He's the one I had those awful children with, after all.:devil:0
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Wow some of you guys move on quick.0
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I'll be 29 Friday. I sign my decree on March 2nd, and within 2-4 weeks it'll be finalized.
Don't worry about the stigmas but ONLY after you've exhausted all your options. You can't live your life unhappy. While it's difficult I'm very, very happy now. Yes, you'll face judgement but would you rather be unhappy or judged? I'll take the judgement.0 -
Your real friends and family won't judge you. Other people will always do that cause they don't know the whole story.
I'm in the middle of this right now. Just moved out 2 weeks ago. It is very hard!0 -
I got divorced shortly before my 29th birthday after almost 8 years of marriage.
I didn't date a lot until about 32 but by then I was able to exploit the "older woman" angle and got me an endless supply of 25 year olds. Just when I started to grow tired of meaningless, long-term physical relationships my now-husband came along.
There's no stigma. If you're not happy you need to make yourself happy, regardless of what anyone else thinks. Only you can take care of you.
Good luck. xo0 -
I am another one. I was divorced in 2007 I was 26. And it is hard because now I am married to my first love and have two kids by two different fathers that alone is an awful stereotype. But honestly sometimes you have to do whats best, you don't want your kids in a hostile environment. We teach our children how to love and how to have relationships. It's just an awful thing when people don't know how to have healthy relationships and we can all pretty much say we were never taught properly.. I want my kids to know the difference. And btw I got divorced because of the constant lies and cheating on his part.0
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I'm 34 now, filed when I was 33...married when I was 29...3 kids later...and him cheating for the past at least year...I called it quits...then it got a bit nasty with court and all that...I filed in January of 2011 and just signed the final paperwork in September...
It's tough...tougher with kids I think, but I'm moving forward!!! Seems like a lot of us have been there/done that - let us know, we're all here for support!
Do what is best for you...who cares what everyone else thinks!!!!! Honestly...what are they going to think when you're the next missing wife...do it for yourself. You deserve to be happy!!!!0 -
I got married at 18, divorced at 28. I'm not sure I faced any stigma but I was with my now husband for 6 years before we got married. Clearly, I didn't want to make the same mistake again!0
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Didn't read any other replies, just wanted to say that I had a kid at 15, got married at 23, divorced at 27, and I'll be re-married at 31 .... and I'm totally okay with myself. Everyone elses' opinion of me is 1] none of my business and 2] not worth it to be concerned about.0
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What stigma?
The majority are divorced anyway. Who cares!0 -
I have never been married, but I was in a relationship for 8 years and we had 2 kids.
It was rocky from the start and I had plenty of reasons to move on... but I couldn't 1. for the kids and 2. the fear of finances.
After being treated like crap for so long, something clicked, and I ended it. It was the BEST decision I have ever made in my life - I am so much happier.. and since I am happy the kids see that and it makes us all better. I am not angry (most of the time lol) anymore where I take it out on them, and they dont hear us fighting. The house is just much more emotionally stable. It's tough, but it was worth it. And screw what anyone else says, if the relationship isn't stable then do what is best for you (and your kids if you have them).
I do agree that if you are just in a rocky time, I would work on it and see if you can move forward. Unfortunately in my case I was for that, but it was always thrown back in my face. Could be the alcoholism of my ex that made any advancements unsuccessful, I don't know. All I know is I am happy and I am workign on a hot new bod in hopes to meet the man of my dreams and marry one day!
We deserve it!0 -
I was divorced before 30....I was also married at 19. It lasted 6yrs. The divorce was the best thing that could happened to me. I was miserable before. I didn't care about what anyone else said. It's my life and I deserve to be happy.
You deserve to be happy as well. So do whatever will make that happen!0 -
Divorced by 25. Trust me, stereotypes and judgement are easier to live with than an unhappy marriage. You'll get over all the bs and be happy someday (either alone or with someone better) and that's what life is about, not paying for the rest of your life for a mistake you made when you were young (or old, or middle aged for that matter, no one deserves to be stuck). Good luck.0
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Everyone elses' opinion of me is 1] none of my business and 2] not worth it to be concerned about.0
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Everyone elses' opinion of me is 1] none of my business and 2] not worth it to be concerned about.
Accepting and welcoming that idea has done amazing things for my mind and soul!0 -
Everyone elses' opinion of me is 1] none of my business and 2] not worth it to be concerned about.
Accepting and welcoming that idea has done amazing things for my mind and soul!
I love both of you. MK, I agree, I had to figure that out, too.0 -
Divorced twice before 30. Who cares? Of course there are justifications behind it but I don't normally feel the need to explain them to anyone. It's MY life.0
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Ummmm...who cares what the social stigmas may or may not be. It's supposed to be a decision for YOU, not for society. Society doesnt give a rats *kitten* if youre miserable in your marriage and youre only staying married so you, ohmygosh, dont look bad.
bottom line: who cares what others think. this is YOUR life.0
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