Not sure I want to be an 'inspiration'

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JoolieW68
JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I've lost 87 pounds over the last 15 months and feel pretty darn good about myself. I get a lot of compliments at work and have had several people tell me that I'm an inspiration to them.

Problem is, I'm not sure I want to be their inspiration.... I mean, I appreciate what they mean (and always smile and say thanks), but that makes me feel almost responsible for their success for failure.

Does anyone else who's lost weight feel that way?
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Replies

  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    Honestly speaking.. nahhh not really...

    Ultimately this whole lose weight-concept is supposed to be the person who is obese taking responsibility into their hands and doing what is right for theirself/selves to make theirself/selves better.

    Sure, its nice to hear someone was motivated by your own successes, but in the end, its still up to that person to keep that mojo going for theirself.

    Its kinda like that whole "why wont my family get healthier along with me?" - You can only motivate yourself... people have to be willing to motivate theirselves when they are willing to assume that mental frame of mind, and then put it into action.

    If they fail.. its not because it had anything to do with me (or you) - its because they didnt take control of things they do have control over, made irresponsible choices for theirselves that they fail to acknowledge or admit to, for theirself/selves.

    I work with someone right now who REALLY noticed my weight loss and asked what I was doing... when I explained to her that Im under doctor's care for what Im doing... she automatically thought it would work for her also... I had to stop her in her tracks and tell her "again - a ***doctor*** is working with me on this. That means her medical advice is tailored to my current medical situation. It might not be good for you to follow suit because you are not me, you arent affected with what Im battling (thank goodness for her!!!), and told her consider talking with her physician or specialist.... unless she is in the same boat as I am, she could potentially fail and then have resentment that it didnt work, go back to that vicious cycle of "I give up" and make her future weight loss efforts harder....

    Then the line is drawn and at that point, its 100% up to her.... I wont have anything to do with her because its up to her...
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    Yea, it's funny.... when people ask me "What have you been doing to lose the weight", it's like they are expecting me to say "I took a magic pill and sit my @ss on the couch all night eating potato chips".

    When I tell them I am doing to "Move your @ss and quit eating crap" diet, they look at me like I've grown 2 more heads. The reaction is usually "Really?".....which is pretty sad, actually.

    Yes, a healthy lifestyle actually does lead to HEALTH. GTFOOH....
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    I know what you mean. It's being put into a role we never asked for. I lost weight for me. Not for anyone else. I mean if they see what I've accomplished and decide to start making healthier choices for themselves that's fantastic. But I'm no role model, I'm no idol. I'm a dude who's been fat for 99% of his life. I don't want the responsibility of other people putting their weight loss success/failure on me.
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    Spot on, i feel the same way.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    I don't want the responsibility of other people putting their weight loss success/failure on me.
    That's not what "inspiration" means.
  • madameduffay
    madameduffay Posts: 166 Member
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    Well, regardless of whether you want to be an inspiration or not. You are.

    It's your own fault for looking fabulous : )
  • MayaNelson
    MayaNelson Posts: 74
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    I agree - it's a complement.

    I think that every person out there (OK maybe 80%) have something that they would like to change about themselves. Most people don't step up and do the hard work, consistently, to make the change a reality. They don't confront the brutal facts about themselves to put them on the path to success.

    That is the inspiration!
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    Well, regardless of whether you want to be an inspiration or not. You are.

    It's your own fault for looking fabulous : )

    Haha, thanks. :)
  • fridayjustleft04
    fridayjustleft04 Posts: 851 Member
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    It's nice that what I'm doing for myself can inspire someone to want to do it for themselves. They're inspired, not expecting you to train them/make them do the work. If an artist gets inspired by nature, it doesn't suddenly become nature's job to paint that picture, you know? You're not responsible for anyone else's actions, positive or negative. You're a catalyst for change in their minds..it doesn't require any added work or pressure on your part. People tell me I'm inspirational to them sometimes. I, like you, say thanks. Nothing more needed.
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    It's nice that what I'm doing for myself can inspire someone to want to do it for themselves. They're inspired, not expecting you to train them/make them do the work. If an artist gets inspired by nature, it doesn't suddenly become nature's job to paint that picture, you know? You're not responsible for anyone else's actions, positive or negative. You're a catalyst for change in their minds..it doesn't require any added work or pressure on your part. People tell me I'm inspirational to them sometimes. I, like you, say thanks. Nothing more needed.

    That's a good explanation, thanks for sharing.
  • bluiz13
    bluiz13 Posts: 3,550 Member
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    totally agree with this....you are exactly right......keep doing what you do and if they follow great....
    It's nice that what I'm doing for myself can inspire someone to want to do it for themselves. They're inspired, not expecting you to train them/make them do the work. If an artist gets inspired by nature, it doesn't suddenly become nature's job to paint that picture, you know? You're not responsible for anyone else's actions, positive or negative. You're a catalyst for change in their minds..it doesn't require any added work or pressure on your part. People tell me I'm inspirational to them sometimes. I, like you, say thanks. Nothing more needed.
  • RAFValentina
    RAFValentina Posts: 1,231 Member
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    I agree... what bout the one day you WANT to go over your calories, or NOT exercise or NOT burn over 1000 calories?! Or run 13km each time or workout twice a day... I was doing this as a boost and a stress buster... part of a spike up to resuming a normal healthy lifestyle... but then you end up with this mad way of life where you feel like you'll let others down if you don't accomplish it and you find weird and wonderful ways of making it happen. Recently have been trying to stop that...but find it hard! I just want people to see me as a normal gal who does do exercise and makes it count! Not as some machine!

    GIVE ME A BREAK-COS I'M THE SORT OF PERSON WHO FEELS OBLIGED TO "KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!"
  • nygiantschick
    nygiantschick Posts: 289 Member
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    It's nice that what I'm doing for myself can inspire someone to want to do it for themselves. They're inspired, not expecting you to train them/make them do the work. If an artist gets inspired by nature, it doesn't suddenly become nature's job to paint that picture, you know? You're not responsible for anyone else's actions, positive or negative. You're a catalyst for change in their minds..it doesn't require any added work or pressure on your part. People tell me I'm inspirational to them sometimes. I, like you, say thanks. Nothing more needed.

    ^ this
    I've known some people whose success have inspired me to make some changes in my life for the better, but I do not hold them responsible for my actions and outcome.
  • savlyon
    savlyon Posts: 474 Member
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    It's nice that what I'm doing for myself can inspire someone to want to do it for themselves. They're inspired, not expecting you to train them/make them do the work. If an artist gets inspired by nature, it doesn't suddenly become nature's job to paint that picture, you know? You're not responsible for anyone else's actions, positive or negative. You're a catalyst for change in their minds..it doesn't require any added work or pressure on your part. People tell me I'm inspirational to them sometimes. I, like you, say thanks. Nothing more needed.

    That's a good explanation, thanks for sharing.

    I like this!! You aren't responsible for their success or failure, but you are the catalyst and the influence for something amazing going on in their lives. I like that other people are watching me. It keeps me accountable! :)
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
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    I am honored when people tell me I inspire them...what I don't like is all the talk about how skinny I am and how I need to stop.
  • shoppie
    shoppie Posts: 618 Member
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    Yea, it's funny.... when people ask me "What have you been doing to lose the weight", it's like they are expecting me to say "I took a magic pill and sit my @ss on the couch all night eating potato chips".

    :laugh: this is so true, they look so disappointed when you reply 'um, eat less rubbbish and do lots more exercise...' :laugh:

    No one has said I 'inspire' them, but loads of people have asked me for tips/ advice and if they seem disappointed by the truth, you know they ain't going to be losing weight any time soon, or not keeping it off anyway...
  • JeSuisPrest
    JeSuisPrest Posts: 2,005 Member
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    Yep...everyone wants to hear about a magical easy way, I was once there too. But I learned and am succeeding!! ;)
  • fridayjustleft04
    fridayjustleft04 Posts: 851 Member
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    I agree... what bout the one day you WANT to go over your calories, or NOT exercise or NOT burn over 1000 calories?! Or run 13km each time or workout twice a day... I was doing this as a boost and a stress buster... part of a spike up to resuming a normal healthy lifestyle... but then you end up with this mad way of life where you feel like you'll let others down if you don't accomplish it and you find weird and wonderful ways of making it happen. Recently have been trying to stop that...but find it hard! I just want people to see me as a normal gal who does do exercise and makes it count! Not as some machine!

    GIVE ME A BREAK-COS I'M THE SORT OF PERSON WHO FEELS OBLIGED TO "KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!"
    If your friends are even the slightest bit intelligent (and I bet they are), they understand that you're human. Taking a break is important. People need breaks. When they say "keep up the good work" they don't mean "burn 1000 calories everyday or else you're a failure and you're letting me down". They mean you're doing a great job overall. Not everyday has to be the best day ever. Don't worry that people are judging you for not running everyday. They're not. They're proud of your success and completely understand the need for a rest or a cheat every now and then.
  • MattGetsMad
    MattGetsMad Posts: 429 Member
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    I think it's just part of the "stop treating me differently" thing that you feel once you've experienced significant weight loss.

    "I inspire you?"

    "Really?"

    "Well you inspire me too" "to move out of state"

    Sometimes you just want to be treated normal.

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  • Huskerduer
    Huskerduer Posts: 8 Member
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    They're just 'haters'.

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