Am I just being overly sensitive?

krstngrrtt
krstngrrtt Posts: 69 Member
edited October 6 in Motivation and Support
Last night instead of hitting the gym I decided to do a workout at home..it was only about 10-15 mins BUT it was one of the hardest home workouts that I've ever done and I finished feeling quite proud that I actually did almost everything involved. When I was done my SO was standing in the kitchen (and although has been totally supportive in all my weight loss efforts) says "That wasn't long". Now, I know they didn't mean it as a negative remark and was not trying to hurt my feelings..BUT..it did. Am I over reacting!? I just felt like they popped my bubble a bit..
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Replies

  • Demwitted
    Demwitted Posts: 163
    Sounds like SO was being insensitive.
  • Kaddyshack21
    Kaddyshack21 Posts: 225 Member
    Ask you SO to do it and tell him if it feels like "not long" now? Let your SO understand how much work you have put into that 15 minutes. Don't let it get you down though. You did it!! Awesome accomplishment.
  • SHDenver
    SHDenver Posts: 87 Member
    I think you might be. Technically your workout was shorter than most, and he didn't know how much actual work you were putting in to it, so it sounds like he may have just been stating the facts of the time it took you.

    It would be good to have a "When you said that yesterday it felt like you were telling me I didn't work hard enough, am I crazy?" statement for communication purposes. If he says something agreeing with that then you can let him know what a great workout it was. He most likely wasn't thinking, if he's been supportive in the past.

    I have all kinds of little triggers I allow to get in to my head, based on what other people are saying. I get frustrated at how easy it is for one comment to either deter me or cause me to go on an emotional "journey" to process through it, when I know the person meant no harm in what they said.

    That did sound like an intense workout though, great work!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I'd assume your SO has the same idea as some other people where it's not worth it if you're not either working really hard (must go as fast as possible on the elliptical/treadmill) or not working out for very long. Or even those who would ask "is THAT on your diet?" when your'e eating a cookie. It's not about perfection or a certain amount of activity or certain foods - it's about making an effort and making changes, no matter how big or small. As you'll see some folks say to beginner runners who worry about their speed/endurance - you're still lapping the folks who are sitting on the couch! (LOL, I think my ADD kicked in on that paragraph but I'm still leaving it)

    My hubby is super supportive but says little things like that now and then. The negative sounding comments are well intentioned and just come from misinformation. The best thing to do is explain to your SO what your goals are when comments like that come up. Who knows, maybe some good conversations will come out of it and you'll learn together.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    use the same line on him next time you have sex.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
    Yes, you're being overly sensitive. Too many times we read into what other people are saying because we have some insecurity. He said, "That wasn't long." And it wasn't. It was a factual statement. If it were said with a smirk or an eye roll or a giggle or some body language to convey a negative connotation, then you can read into it. But if not, just let it go and think about why you might have taken it in that way, and address it within yourself. And if you can't let it go, talk to your SO about it, remembering to keep the focus on yourself (I felt like...) rather than on him (You made me feel like...).
  • soccer8s
    soccer8s Posts: 238 Member
    Yes, you're being overy sensitive....hell, it doesn't take long all the time to get a heck of a good work out!!! 15 minutes is better than nothing! Keep up the good work!
  • SusanRN2b
    SusanRN2b Posts: 106 Member
    use the same line on him next time you have sex.

    My favorite MFP advice EVER!!!
  • krstngrrtt
    krstngrrtt Posts: 69 Member
    Thanks guys! I'm feeling a bit better about it... Just hit me the wrong way in the moment. It was great to hear all of your opinions on the matter..thanks!!!
  • krstngrrtt
    krstngrrtt Posts: 69 Member
    use the same line on him next time you have sex.
    :laugh:
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    Your over reacting
  • Hungry_Tuna
    Hungry_Tuna Posts: 361 Member
    use the same line on him next time you have sex.

    LOL! love it
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    You are being over sensitive.

    I would have owned and said, "that was the hardest one I've done! I'm glad that *kitten* is over! Next time you can do it with me" and promptly thrown up on his shoes.

    Next time you are having sex you can say, "that wasn't long!"
  • psychpatti
    psychpatti Posts: 5
    use the same line on him next time you have sex.
    Haha great one.
  • kitkat9138
    kitkat9138 Posts: 31
    use the same line on him next time you have sex.



    ^^^ LOL, yes, this. ^^^


    i'm not sure how long you have been married. I'm going on 5 years with my hubby and while we all mean well and have good intentions, it can be easy to say things that sound a bit rude/insensitive..I think this comes from just being together for awhile and getting comfortable and not watching what/how we say things. I know I've said insensitive things, in fact the other night I gave my husband's belly a little pat (it was getting a little bubbly from the beer he's been drinking lately) and he knew why I did it, and later I felt horrible.

    Just tell him it hurt your feelings, he might not have realized he even did it. Don't be upset with him and not communicate it to him. You'll end up resentful down the road.
  • DarkAngel525
    DarkAngel525 Posts: 135
    Your over reacting

    I agree. Boys (and some chicks like me) just have a totally different wired brain. He probably was not thinking about it negatively AT ALL. Just commenting on the time vs. other times you've gone for longer to the gym. I wouldn't sweat it. You know your effort and he is supportive and that's all that matters.
  • Troll
    Troll Posts: 922 Member
    honestly, you are being sensitive. Next time, ask if your SO wants to join you. During my first 2 rounds of Insanity my fiance would sit on the couch and say,"i dont understand why you get sore, anybody can jump around a room like an idiot." i told him if he could do 450pushups, 550 squats, and jump rope 1000 reps in 36 minutes with two 30 second rests, i would concede that im a wimp and just faking how tired i am. Yeah....he shut up. :)
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    use the same line on him next time you have sex.

    My favorite MFP advice EVER!!!


    Thank you (takes a bow)
  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
    My husband always says that his tourettes is kicking in when he says something that he should not have said. (he doesn't have that, but that is his excuse)
    You are working hard on working out/getting in shape/getting healthy and of course it will bother you when someone makes a comment like that. I am sure that he did not mean it the way you took it.
    When my husband, or anyone, says something that bothers me, my natural reaction is to laugh or just say "oh, really?". Somehow that makes other people uncomfortable and then I don't feel as bad.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    No, he didn't mean anything by it, I'm sure. We often just say the most obvious things in an attempt to relate.
  • RahBuhBuh
    RahBuhBuh Posts: 585 Member
    Yup. That is a bit overly sensitive. My guess, you felt like you did as good of a job as you would have at the gym. They didn't validate it. Realistically, they could probably never know that and were just making an observation.
  • jennabellaxoxo
    jennabellaxoxo Posts: 232 Member
    SO's can be idiots sometimes! NO he didnt mean anything by it...but I get dumb remarks like that from my hubby too!!!!????!!!! Its annoying dont even sweat it! Some videos/or at home work out can be killer!
  • brybre0413
    brybre0413 Posts: 212 Member
    use the same line on him next time you have sex.

    My favorite MFP advice EVER!!!

    2nd
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
    Sometimes it is quality not quantity. Maybe he was expecting you to be occupied for longer and when you weren't he was just surprised. You are being way too sensitive and that would make me feel like I had to walk on egg shells. It seems hurtful because you were proud of your accomplishment, but next time invite him to do it with you and remind him it wasn't long. He will understand then.
  • SimplyShanRunning
    SimplyShanRunning Posts: 885 Member
    Over reacting a tad

    You know they have a tendancy to speak without thinking
  • JaimeBrown5
    JaimeBrown5 Posts: 324
    Interesting.....

    The OP NEVER used a word the specified the sex of her SO. She referred to the person as "they" and a good majority referred to the SO as a he. And some answered were even geared towards the response being typically male.
  • souper5
    souper5 Posts: 26
    use the same line on him next time you have sex.


    Hahahahahahahaha!
  • upsidedownpear
    upsidedownpear Posts: 101 Member
    use the same line on him next time you have sex.

    LOL!

    If you told him it was one of the hardest workouts, that should solve it. He may be just wondering why your workout has been shorter than other days. IMO, no big deal.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,644 Member
    Interesting.....

    The OP NEVER used a word the specified the sex of her SO. She referred to the person as "they" and a good majority referred to the SO as a he. And some answered were even geared towards the response being typically male.


    very good point! I will be the first to admit I did assume male....
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
    Interesting.....

    The OP NEVER used a word the specified the sex of her SO. She referred to the person as "they" and a good majority referred to the SO as a he. And some answered were even geared towards the response being typically male.

    I noticed that too, but I don't like using "they" as a singular pronoun, so I defaulted to "he" since I didn't know the sex of the SO. Regardless, I don't believe this is a male/female thing. It's a problem with projecting and making assumptions about what someone else is saying.
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